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Why hello there, I'm from the Internet!
Authored by: CavemanJoe on Wednesday, January 07 2009 @ 10:19 PM UTC
You needn't tell me your address - it's okay, I'll get your general area from your IP address and then just walk around and around until I either pick up your wifi or someone tells me where you live.  Or calls the police, and then they can tell me where you live.

It'll be great!  Can I be your friend?  Eat your food, drink your tea, smoke your cigarettes?

Sleep in your bed?

...don't worry, I'm not that creepy!  Hahaha!  We've only been best friends a short time, it'd be just crazy to sleep next to you!  Hahaha!  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  No, seriously though, you've got a couch that you can sleep on, right?  'cause I can bring a mattress for you if it's a problem.  I found one under the railway bridge, it's a bit sticky but I'm sure it'll be okay.

Is it okay if I bring my dog?  She's pretty old, and has really bad digestion and quite serious personality disorders, so it's kinda cruel for me to leave her at home.

Oh, I almost forgot, I told my mum she could come too.  If it's not too much trouble, could you have a stairlift installed by the time I get there?

I've got some other friends coming too, you'll like them - they're very keen on motorcycles and beards.  They're a lovely bunch of lads, really - a bit boisterous, but very kind-hearted.  Make sure you've got beer ready though, okay?  And not light stuff - they get really, really easily offended.  Oh, and you might want to just put some sawdust down - Grunk doesn't hold his whiskey too well after a few slugs in the stomach, and the fighting usually starts around 9pm.

Oh, and since I'm bringing the party, can you chip in some petrol money?  Say, fifty quid or so?  Smashing!  See you Saturday!
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Authored by: SicPuess on Sunday, January 18 2009 @ 05:44 PM UTC
...BWAHAHAHA! I'm noting this.

Hy gots a nize hat, dont hyu sink?

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Why hello there, I'm from the Internet!
Authored by: Enada on Monday, January 26 2009 @ 06:29 AM UTC
Strong beer? Never been to America have you? Think more along the lines of half frozen knats piss. You want some real alcohol you go to Las Vegas and get a bottle of 100 proof Everclear.
Then sing the newhome themesong!
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Why hello there, I'm from the Internet!
Authored by: Gorbert on Thursday, February 19 2009 @ 11:47 PM UTC
What are you talking about, America has plenty of strong beer! It's just that you have know where to find the good stuff (if there's a commercial for it, it isn't good).
Sorry, my family is a collection of beer snobs.
Oh, and congratulations on befriending CMJ. Looks like you two will really hit it off.
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