Oh no!

Welcome to Madness! This is Improbable Island's how-to-play Wiki.¹⁾²⁾³⁾ Here, you'll find a labyrinth of misinformation about the game in a delicious 50/50 black forest cakemix of true tales and the taller kind ⁴⁾. So grab your ball of string, tie it tight to your nearest sturdy item of furniture and get ready for a ramble through a maze of Dunbernarding proportions.

Read this. READ THIS. Believe us, this section's pages are very important. We know it's confusing, first off, to be faced with all these billions of pages flapping around in your face like broken-hearted pigeons on steroids, but we promise that a quick whiz⁵⁾ through the next three in this section is going to be Very Good For You.⁶⁾

• On that note, take a look at the Rookie Advisory! It's a lie-free⁷⁾ FAQ⁸⁾. You probably need to read this to survive. There will be a quiz. And those who get it wrong will be executed.

• How to Win Friends and Influence Roleplayers And, if you're going to roleplay on the Island, read this also!

• Advanced Roleplaying And when you're done reading that one, you should have a look at this as well!

And when you're done to death with the wiki, head over to the Forum of Filth ⁹⁾ and see what the argument of the day happens to be¹⁰⁾¹¹⁾!

Here are things you might want to read if you want to know what a Zolotisty is, or where not to sleep for the night, or why those people have many more arms than you, or why you've been dropped naked into the middle of an outpost. These links are for you, for when you need details on anything, you want to get a grip on how people write or you just feel like enjoying a few scenes we've hijacked into existence for your visual delectation. Flit around! It's all there for your well-being and general warm fuzzies.

• The Scene Index is where we list most of the madder stories. Or just the ones we've remembered to scrape up and put down.
• This list is where many characters are paired with their biographies. Feel free to add your own.
• Right here is the Enquirer's classifieds section. Place an advert, or look to see what's available¹²⁾!
• And HERE is a record of most of the Places on the Island.
• This is where you want to go if you're interested in building a Place of your own, and would like to know how to do it.¹³⁾
• This page is the Clans page, the list of all the clans on the island. Useful, no?
• The GreaseMonkey Page is a list of GreaseMonkey scripts you can use to customize and improve your Island experience.¹⁴⁾
• Snippets of the best roleplaying.
• Titles and what they signify!
• History Mister Stern doesn't know. A compendium of the major events of the Island that aren't recorded in the museum.
• Outposts The towns!¹⁵⁾
• Races ¹⁶⁾
• Meat The list of what gives you what.
• Monster List
• Quests The in-game quests Dan doesn't send you on. WARNING: canon plot spoilers!
• Text Color List

It's not too difficult to set up an account at the Enquirer, and once you have one, you can edit, add to, vandalize or change this page and any others in any fashion you see fit. Check out this page for instructions on how to edit a page; then try your hand at editing one here. Please bear in mind that you'll have to decide for yourself how much truth any individual page contains. The Wiki of Lies¹⁷⁾ is like that.

So! Make some pages. Soon¹⁸⁾. Don't forget to lie.

Use the Sitemap in the bottom right corner as a reference guide when you're creating a page, so you don't go creating multiple pages that contain the same info (such as Housing vs. Dwellings, Cake vs. The Cake).¹⁹⁾ Pages are indexed in the Sitemap automatically.

• The Game²⁰⁾

• Truancy

• Improbable News Network

• Music

• Improbable Events ²¹⁾

• Roleplaying A list of large-scale plots people have, and have had going in the game.

• This is the player-updated index of pages on the wiki. But you're probably better off using the Sitemap button in the bottom right corner of this page, or the search box in the top right.

• Camping Out

• Enquirer, for if you ever get curious about what it is, exactly, that you are holding. It's full of immutable facts.²²⁾

• Lions

• List of Things You Can Do to Gremlins

• OST

• Too Much II

• Medals

And that's the lot. Here's your ball of string, there's all 2012 doors, and there's your sanity. You can wear it like a hat as you explore the Wiki, the Island and its inhabitants. Enjoy!