A huge jet-plane-space-rocket causes ripples and eddies in the air around, you. Steam hisses, and spurts from jet-sphincters. An aperture opens, and a tall, rangy, foilwrapped alien appears
Rookie Poet walks in - lacking ego today - he casually hands Darling back her lute, and takes a seat at the bar. He waggles an eyebrow at Cookie until she gets the man some brandy.
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard stands in the doorway, "Take me to your person who signs travel requisition forms."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye pulls out GK's wallet, "I'm not going to kiss you or anything, don't flatter yourself." She eyes the alien for a second, then starts to go through GK's wallet.
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard looks around at all of the mortals arrayed before him, "Come on K-8, and the rest of you, these aliens are likely to hold a banquet in our honour!"
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah sighs, but doesn't stop her. He doesn't exactly carry much of value at the best of times anyway.
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye isn't at all impressed with GK's wallet. She throws it at Bernard.
Masked Phantom Kestrel narrows her eyes slightly at the sudden light, squinting around Bernard. "Ah, Uncle, I don't think this is an alien planet."
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard gazes beneficently at all of the tiny people, "Now, now, don't all rush to take a glance at our high-tech transport, I can't share its secrets with you, despite the fact you're backwards."
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim burrrrs in, his head-mounted antennae scanning the locality for signs of intelligent life.
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard tells Kes to shush, it certainly is an alien planet. Dexy was driving and you can't trust her not to take us to Punkalon 9.
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah turns his head to watch the lightshow with vague disinterest. Its better than nothing.
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard addresses the massed ranks of Punkalon 9. "PEOPLES OF PUNKALON 9, WE DO NOT COME HERE TO DESTROY YOU. WE COME MERELY TO ASK FOR SOME SANDWICHES OR SNACK FOODS. OR A DRINK. AND SOME FUEL."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye watches the events. She pulls out Tux's wallet, and starts to nom on it.
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim catches some on his scanners. It misses Bernard though. He beeps and boops a welcome to the inhabitants of this happy, tree-lined planet
Darling give Poet a kiss on the cheek in return for her lute. "How are you today, Poet?"
Masked Phantom Kestrel glances between the tin-foil-Bernard, the antennae-wearing-Sink, and the assembled crowds. Understanding dawns. "Ohhh. . ."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye leans and opens up Deve. She pulls out a bowl of sandwiches. "Here?"
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard continues, "HOWEVER, PEOPLES OF PUNKALON 9, DO NOT CROSS US, FOR WE HAVE TRAVERSED THE GALAXIES, AND OUR JET-BINGONATOR IS A FEARSOME WEAPON." he gestures at the huge vehicle behind him.
Molotov Spandex follows closely behind, her back to the others, watching for sudden movement. "What's our mission, Uncle Captain B?"
Contender Tux wonders idly what alien brains might taste like, or if they even have any.
Contender Partius No, Skye, not the sandwiches! Give them anything but that.
Darling tilts her head at the. . .ah. . .alien. "Oh. Oh my."
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard smiles, in a manner of a kindly visitor to a planet, "SUBJECTS, LOYAL SUBJECTS, MY COLLEAGUES WILL COME AMONGST YOU NOW, SEEKING YOUR SNACKS. HAND THEM OVER. ESPECIALLY CRISPS OR POP. OR PERISH."
Molotov Spandex says, "They seem relatively harmless. Set yer phasers on Stern."
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim 's red cybernetic eyes sweep the area, searching for snacks, drinks, and in his case, a convenient tree to widdle against. Zero-G for a wolf-bot is not comfortable.
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye looks at Partius, "But I don't want their small pox."
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard kicks himself, "JUST TO CONFIRM, SUBJECTS OF PUNKALON 9, WE DO NOT WANT YOUR PERISH. WE WANT YOUR SANDWICHES. CAKES. BISCUITS AND GIN." he does a complicated salute.
Contender Partius contemplates, "This is a valid concern."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye guesses no one from the alien party is going to take her sandwiches, so she keeps them for herself, and starts to nom them.
Pantheon Saint of Paper Oni looks up from under his hood. "And now I have seen everything."
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim identifies a convenient standing objects, composed of cellulose, hemicellulose, lignin and chlorophyll, with appropriate xylem and phloem. And proceeds to relieve himself at it's base.
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard points! Waveringly! At Skye! "THAT ONE HAS SANDWICHES. SEIZE THEM! THESE WILL BE OUR SANDWICHES AND WE SHALL THEN TAKE OVER HIS TINY PLANET AND BEND IT TO OUR COLLECTIVE WILL!"
Rookie Poet sips his brandy quietly, "I'm alright Darling. Yourself?" He watches the aliens, not convinced. . . at least they don't want his drink.
Contender Tux wonders why anyone would want sandwhiches when little old ladies taste just as well.
Molotov Spandex is tuning all the dials on her InterSpace Translator )320-X. "SINK? Are you making heads or tails of their strange Alien Language?"
Pantheon Saint of Paper Oni moves away from the tree that is being used as a toilet. "Ah. . .Excuse me! I believe yer mistaken. Um. I think at least."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye eeeeps! She quickly tries to eat all 30 sandwiches in her bowl.
Darling does not like this alien-man-thing threatening Skye. She sighs, and turns to Poet. "Oh, I am alright. A little confused, but alright."
Masked Phantom Kestrel steps forwards, perhaps befuddled but still able to follow orders, and attempts to gently tug the bowl from Skye's hands. "May we, please? We mean you no harm."
Contender Partius assists Skye, voraciously consuming all that he can, "You'll have to seize them from my warm fuzzy belly."
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah sighs & climbs to his feet. This is all just too noisy, nat at all the relaxing morning he'd had planned. He slips past the 'aliens' & out the gate.
Pantheon Saint of Paper Oni climbs the nearest tree and hops to the roof top. He slips out quietly.
Citizen Brynhildr wanders in after the GERMans, somehow managing to get lost on her way exiting the Jet-Bingonator.
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard turns back to NAVIGATOR DEX, "You know, I can't make head nor tail of 'em, they're sure a funny high pitched lot. You know, it sounds no more than a "WAHHH WAHH WAHHH!" Brilliant, innit?"
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim scans Tux, analysing his electroencephalagraphic activity. His logic circuits analyse the variance in aldehyde and ketone content of a 'Sandwich' and a 'Little Old Lady'. He concludes that while taste may indeed be equal, the latter is considerably harder to chew.
Pantheon Saint of Paper Oni makes a note to invite Bernard to the Pantheon of Improbable Gods and Saints at a later date and then he is gone.
Molotov Spandex simply shrugs at B and offers, "yes. quaint." She wheels towards Partius. "This one is requesting an ALIEN autopsy, I believe."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye lets Kes have the bowl, leaving a crust, and some In Law meat in it. She looks rather sick from eating all those sandwiches, "Take it. . . I would like the bowl back later, and small pox free."
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard holds up one shiny hand, "REMEMBER! WE COME IN PEAS. PEACE. SORRY. PEACE. WE COME IN THAT. THAT''S IT. DON'T WORRY ABOUT YOUR PEAS. WE DON'T TOUCH THEM. MUCH. SORRY. SORRY. BLOODY TRANSLATOR."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye slips to the tiles as GK gets up. She whimpers at her bowl. . . it means a lot to her.
Darling moves a step closer to Skye. She also takes a sandwich, and, staring at Benard with a big, lovely grin, nibbles off a dainty bite. "Oh I say! This sandwich is quite lovely!"
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard regards Partius, "THAT FILLUM WITH ANTNDEC IN?" he can scarcely believe it, what sort of planet is this they landed on?!
Masked Phantom Kestrel examines the bowl's contents with a frown. A furtive glance to her fellow aliens, she ditches the lot behind a tree, and shoves the bowl in Cookie's direction along with hissed instructions.
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim 's ticker chunters out a dot-matrixed line of tape "WE HAVE NO SMALL POX stop ONLY LARGE ONES stop WILL THESE SUFFICE query"
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard reads off Sink's teletyped excreta, "What does this actually mean?" he turns back to the massed aliens, "PLEASE COULD WE HAVE A SNACK? WE'RE STARVING. ALL THE PEANUTS GOT RUINED."
Masked Phantom Kestrel sends a plate of sammiches frisbeeing towards Bernard and crew, handing the empty bowl back to Skye with a grateful smile. "Much appreciated."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye sees her bowl being shoved at Cookie. . . and her eyes start to tear up little tears. She sniffles, and bites her lip. No Skye will not cry! She is a big girl. . .
Molotov Spandex backs up carefully to Bernard. "Uncle Captain B." she whispers sharply over her shoulder. "I suggest we attempt to ASSIMILATE. To gain their trust."
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac leaps in. "Squelch a fandago, hoobay!"
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah steps back in with a puzzled frown on his face, certain he glimpsed a particular form just before he left, he peers around more carefully.
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim detects the entry of a newcomer, and attempts to reconfigure his translations circuits to suit. He fails. 'Gibberish' is not an established galactic language, apparently.
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye stops sniffling and accepts her bowl back, snuggling it. "My bowl" She pulls out more sandwiches from Deve, filling the bowl back up, and puts it away.
Citizen Brynhildr smiles and waves a feathered arm at GK from behind Dex and the other GERMans.
Molotov Spandex 's dial on her InterSpace Translator )320-X starts jumping all over the place at the arrival of Chirac. "Awwwlookit this one! Can we keep him Uncle?"
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard wonders what is meant by assimilate, "Do you mean offer 'em a drink?" he turns back to the aliens, "DO YOU PEOPLE WANT A DRINK?"
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye errs at the drink question. "What drinks do you have?"
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah grins broadly as he sees Bryn, but this falters as he realizes she's there with the 'aliens'. . .
Masked Phantom Kestrel winces, and dashes forwards before the plate donks Bernard in the back of the head. "Unc- um, Captain. Sammiches. Look!"
Citizen Brynhildr winces a bit at Bernard's shouting. She slips away from the GERMans and over to GK to give him a hug. "Hey."
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac nods. "Ta, mate, but I brought me own." He takes out his trusty flask. The letters PRAT have been carved into its metal.
Contender Partius 's ears perk up at the mention of a drink, he is rather thirsty, "If it's a strong one."
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah hugs her back warmly. "Hey yourself. Uhh, what's going on here? Why are you with them?" he nods towards the circus-show.
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard APPROVES! "YOUR SANDWICHES ARE A FITTING TRIBUTE. YOU WILL BE REWARDED." back to Dex and Sink and Kes, "Do we have any old clothes or shiny beads we can leave them in payment?!"
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim 's teleprinter chunters out the list of drinks aboard the Bingonator "GIN RUM VODKA WHISKY ALL 35ml BOTTLES. CRAP LAGER 330ml CAN. TOMATO ORANGE CRANBERRY APPLE JUICES, TEA COFFEE HOT CHOCOLATE"
Citizen Brynhildr says "I was in Dunbernarding exploring and I found them and then we went on an adventure and there was bees and then a petting zoo and a strange flying ship thing. And we landed here, apparently."
Contender Partius shakes his head at the list of drink, not to his taste.
Masked Phantom Kestrel deposits the plate in Bernard's hands, then starts fishing through her pockets. "Seed beads. And grenade pins. And, somehow, marbles."
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah smiles at her, mirth in his eyes. "You do get up to the most amazing adventures when I'm not around!"
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah looks aside and calls out to Chirac. "You'd be having something I'm wanting, Pirate, when ye've got a second!"
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim analyses Partius' response. The ticker chunters out "WE ALSO MIX A MEAN BLOODY MARY"
Citizen Brynhildr smiles. "There is SO MUCH in Dunbernarding. It's very easy to get lost there, so mostly I've been following them - That's Bernard and Dex and Kes and Sink. And I saw Dave and Ari and Callia."
Molotov Spandex digs in her pockets for Offerings, Tat, Kitsch or Gift Items. She finds a small vial labeled Extra Large Pox. "All I've got is this, Uncle Captain B."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye raises a hand, "Other worldly visitors, since you interrupted the festival to the pant goddess, we ask for all your juices. . . err so she'll um, let you leave with blessing!"
Darling oooh's at the last option. "If you are making it, dear alien, I would so enjoy a Blood Mary. Extra mean."
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard asks, "WHO IS YOUR LEADER? IS IT YOU?" This addressed to Partius, "IF YOU ARE LEADER OF THESE PEOPLES, WILL YOU ACCEPT SOME MAGICAL SOMEHOW MARBLES IN PAYMENT FOR YOUR SANDWICHES?"
Citizen Brynhildr finishes "And met a man named G, too, in addition to those four over there. They're all GERMans."
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac trots over to Koalah. "Y'mean ye did it? That's magic, that is, mate. Er. . ." He digs around in his bandolier. "Lucky, Mooses are still pretty common."
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard now addresses Skye, "IS IT YOU WHO LEADS THESE PEOPLES?" now Koalah, "IS IT YOU? WILL YOU ACCEPT BEADS OR TAT?"
Citizen Brynhildr smiles and in a lower voice says "They're very interesting, and the Bernard is kind of strange and I don't understand everything he says. But they've been nice."
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac pulls out a shint dog tag on which the words CLUB SEVEN are engraved.
Rookie Poet grins at Skye. He pulls off his coat and slips it on her shoulders. "Yes! You have disrupted out most holy of ceremonies. Our Priestess here is offended!"
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac thrusts the medallion at Koalah with one hand and thumps a gremlin with the other.
Masked Phantom Kestrel waves a handful of marbles in the vague direction of the natives. Goodness only knows how she kept them for this long.
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim 's system whirrs and clunks, hatches opening and closing, metallic arms passing ingredients back and forth. The meticilously perfect mix of vodka, tomato juice, celery salt and. . .
Darling blinks, and then suddenly begins praising Skye, on her knees, bowing. "O! Most sweet and Holy Pants Goddess! Please! Bless me!"
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah nods to her. "Well, I'm glad they've been treating you well, at least." He turns to Chirac & grins a wolfish smile. "Too easy mate. Thanks for the pretties!" He grabs the coveted tags.
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim 's ticker chunters "WORCESTERSHIRE SAUCE OR TABASCO query"
Molotov Spandex twists her Translator and ear towards RavenSkye. "Pant Goddess?" She considers, and looks down at their AlienWolf. She hangs out her tongue and breathes heavily for a moment, shrugging.
ShapeShifter Da Spook wanders in to the bar, waving at folks.
Darling stops bowing and looks at Sink. "Oh, be a dear and use Worcestershire. Please." She blows him a kiss, and goes back to singing Skye's praises.
Citizen Brynhildr smiles to GK and says "Can we go somewhere more quiet please? Too many people."
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard tries to have a quiet conversation with the others, "LOOK," he booms, quietly, "I don't think they're going to fall for the old ruse of giving them beads for their sandwiches. What do we do?"
Molotov Spandex has seen Sink pant like that when he gets over-heated or around the sexyladywolves.
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye stands! She nods to Bernard "I am just a hostess for our true leader! The holy pant goddess!" She pats Darling on the head, "You have earned her blessing, devoted worshiper."
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac takes out a tattered scrap of cloth and writes with a burnt piece of wood, "Lessee. . . Gotta put ye down fer the records, ye ken. . . Ghostface, Gee Oh Ess Ess Eff Ay Why Ess, Koalah, Kay Ooh. . ."
Masked Phantom Kestrel suggests, in a whisper, "Run for it? We get sammiches, they get entertainment, and we have a nifty escape vehicle nearby."
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah pulls Bryn close, and nods silently to her. "Got anywhere in mind? I was rather in the mood to be away from all this myself."
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim adds the perfect dash of Worcestershire sauce to the Mary, and a robotic arm proffers it forth. His scanners pick up the Navigator's query, and the ticker chunters "DAMNED IF I KNOW stop"
Darling kisses Skye's hand, triumphantly. "Oh thank you, thank you Most Sweet Goddess!"
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac mutters, "Kay. . . Ooh. . . Ell. . . Ell. . . Five. . . Squiggle mark. . . 'at' sign. . . You. . . You. . . Three." He looks down at the parchment. "Koo-ah-luh."
Molotov Spandex considers B's diplomatic question. "Exterminate them? Or head home for drinks, perhaps."
Rookie Poet starts to kiss Skye's feet. "Please let me be blessed, Oh Holyest of holy persons!"
Darling takes the Perfect Bloody Mary from Sink, giving him a little smooch on his robotic face. Wherever that may be."
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard looks askance at Skye, "Did she just say she was a hostess trolley for the panting goodness? Is she okay or is she as mad as a tramp with a ten pound voucher?"
Citizen Brynhildr shrugs a bit at him. "I came through the central gate but there are people in the town there, so maybe somewhere on the map? I'm not picky, just want quiet."
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah grins to Chirac again. "Got it in one, mate. Ta muchly."
Rookie Poet acks at Barnard's disrespect for the 'priestess' "You dare ruin our ceremony, and now you insult our religion. . .. For Shame!"
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim 's biometallic surface flushes with warmth for a moment at the contact. he aligns his scanners to their leader and computes. "PROBABILITY OF FORMER 58.46% PROBABILITY OF LATTER DUNNO"
Magical Love Gentleman Ghostface Koalah looks at Bryn again softly. "I know a grassy field by the river, about 4 klicks west of IC. Nice spot. We could go there." He smiles knowingly at her. "I'll bring cake!"
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard is trying to listen to the Poet, "I'M SORRY, MATE, BUT IT'S ALL JUST NOISE. MY TRANSLATOR IS UP THE FLOPPING DUFF, AND IT'S ALL JUST COMING THROUGH WAH WAH WAH, IF I'M HONEST."
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac grins smugly. And they called him illiterate!
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard winks at Skye, "ANY CHANCE OF SOME MORE SARNIES? THOSE KRAFT CHEESE SLICES ARE DELIGHTFUL. I GUESS, ON THIS PLANET, THEY'RE MADE OF MOON DUST, BUT THEY'RE NICE, NONETHELESS. SMASHING."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye smacks at Poet. "No yelling at my feet, you're only supposed to kiss them while you're down there. I demand your wallet in order to bless you." She holds out her hand at Poet.
Darling giggles. This is all quite fun! She looks to Poet. "I am sorry dearest, but you are aparently only Wah Wah Wah." She burts into a bit of laughter.
Rookie Poet sulks and hands Skye is wallet. . .
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard thumbs at Darling, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY'RE SAYING, IT'S ALL A BIT MWAH MWAH MWAH. . ." Eeh, he wishes he could get this translator problem sorted out,.
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye nods at Bernard, "You may have more sammies, if I may have your wallet." She holds out a hand.
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac would have attacked the alien invaders, but apparently that's too rough for certain Cavemen, so he just sips Skronky Rum and watches.
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim attempts translation "WE ARE WITNESS TO SUPERSTITIOUS CEREMONY stop LIFEFORMS KISSING FEET AND PROFERRING WALLETS ARE BLESSED stop PREVALANCE OF ATHLETE'S MOUTH 41.78% stop"
Citizen Brynhildr grins to him. "Sounds perfect. I'll meet you there. And yes, bring cake!"
Masked Phantom Kestrel massages her ears ruefully, leaning away from Bernard to avoid the full wrath of his voice. "Don't give up your wallet, Un- Captain. The gremlins are always willing to accomodate."
Citizen Brynhildr gives him a hug and heads out after waving to the GERMans.
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard hasn't the foggiest what a WHAWHA is, so he just takes the sarnies and munches on them, "VERY KIND NUTTY ONE. IT WILL BE REMEMBERED. WE WILL SING OF YOUR KINDNESS ON OUR HOME PLANET."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye grumbles at not getting a wallet. She starts to eat Poet's wallet, and offers some of it to Jacques.
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac chews on the wallet. "Tougher than Salesman but tastier than Pope."
Molotov Spandex navigates the crew back to their ship. They have sampled enough of the local Lifeforms' social customs to write a Report.
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye nods in agreement. "Not as fattening as In Law either."
Contender Tux would offer Skye his wallet but notices it's not on him, looking around the ground around him he doesn't find it there and gives up. He never really used it anyway.
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard bows, "WE GO IN PEAS. PEACE. SHITTINGFUCKINGHELL. THESE WANKING TRANSLATORS. WE GO IN PISS. PEACE. HELLFIRE."
Rookie Poet watches in distress a his wallet is getting eaten! He wails, "NO! Not my wallet! You vicious priestess! These sacrifices have gone too far!"
Masked Phantom Kestrel throws a salute to the natives, scooping a few of the dropped marbles back into their appropriate pocket, before stepping back onto the spaceship.
Bad Wolf SinkOrSwim burrrrrs away, his ticker tape trailing behind him. It chunters one last time "THANKS stop SORRY ABOUT THE MESS stop WE'LL PROBABLY BE AN HOUR IN BLOODY CUSTOMS NOW stop OH WELL"
Shinyfoilwrapped Uncle Bernard clambers into the Jet-Bingonator, and stands, silhouetted in the doorway, as the ramp folds itself back into the huge spacecraft, "BYEE, YOU LOT, BYEEEEEE" & he squeals like an excited kittymorph.
Molotov Spandex cleans her boots on the EMOCLEW mat and re-enters the BingoNator Ship.
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac calls after Swim, "Just slip the agent a tenner, ye'll be fine."
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye takes a seat back at the bar. She pulls out some sewing needles and sticks them in the brim of her hat.
In a rapid sworl of steam and heat-haze, the enormous Jet-Bingonator begins its climb into the ionosphere and beyond, from within, however, remains - the sound of aliens arguing like kids.
Darling claps enthusiastically for the departing aliens.
Unlucky Black Devil LadyRavenSkye chuckles at Darling, "That was entertaining." She throws Poet's coat back at him.
Dread Pirate Black Jacques Chirac sniffs. "There they go, back to their home planet, surely a wonderous place of jetpacks and silver unitards and robot sex workers. . . Somehow, Earth seems more cold and lonely now they've gone."