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Chainsaw

A highly portable weapon of mass destruction, intended to combine the advantages of being noisy, messy, and lethal into one handheld package. Available from Sheila's Shack O'Shiny, this device is favored by lumberjacks1) and murderous psychopaths2). Thanks to the scientists in Improbable Central, chainsaws no longer require fuel and thus can run indefinitely without recharge.3)

Recent advances in chainsaw technology, also led by Improbable Central scientists have included blade teeth that can cut through most forms of armor, making newer models more effective against metal-based defensive gear. The major remaining limits to the chainsaw are: 1) the need to get close to a target to use it; and 2) it can only be used on one opponent at a time. The chainsaw's range of destruction is limited by the wielder's reach and the length of the cutting blade. As such, it will never replace the floating orbital deathray satellite as the world-conquering megalomaniac's tool of choice to wipe out entire cities at once. But its array of slashing teeth and its impressive gore spray pattern make it the hands-on favorite for those who like their destruction up-close and personal.

Claims that random chainsaws can turn a contestant into Leatherface are completely without merit.

Fifteenth of the fifteen weapons unlocked on a Contestant's first DK. Costs 11,250 Requisition. Raises attack by 15 points.

1) The real kind - not the crossdressing pretend kind in British musical comedy sketches.
2) Again, the real kind - not the kind that run for public office.
3) Well, more accurately, somebody forgot to code the need for fuel into the game, but we'll say the scientists fixed this problem.
 
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chainsaw.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)