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Newday Failboat Delivery in Squat Hole

It's almost midnight, and Squat Hole is quiet. But not for long. Midnight strikes and the failors arrive with their daily cargo of contestants being returned to the mainland. A couple of kittymorphs are pushed into the town square and quickly leave.

A joker is politely escorted to near the gates with a smile and a "Sir". Several hundred sleepy squats are unceremoniously dumped in the town square. The squats believe that they have a good deal with the failors. A mug of rum when they arrive.

The squats have not yet realised that the rum is laced with industrial levels of elephant tranquillizers for the well being and convenience of the failors.

Instead of returning to the failboat, the failors lounge around. One pulls out his baccy packet.

Cantankerous Biggs is one of the first squats to start waking up. "Ere, wotz appnin? Wur um oi?" same as he does most mornings after being returned from the failboat, which is to say, most mornings. Other squats are starting to wake up as well.

Cantankerous Biggs is coming to. The failor has finished rolling his cigarette and is fishing in his pocket for a lighter. Foulmouth Brown starts awakening. As a squat with Tourette's, he is particularly well named. He feels the urge within him, tries to stop it, can't.

Doctor Monkey Hamster Ninja comes into town.

Cantankerous Biggs is shocked to hear "Fackin fackety SOAP-USURS!" same as he is most mornings after being returned from the failboat. You just don't expect to hear that sort of language in polite society such as Squat Hole imagines itself to be. Not the 'S' word.

Cantankerous Biggs won't take that sort of language lying down. "Wot yu fackin cull me, yu fackin dick'ead yu?" several other squats adopt a similar position on the debate. Soon a full scale fight is in progress. The failor has taken a few drags from his cigarette.

Doctor Monkey Hamster Ninja winces as she sees the squat fight. "Gotta watch out for my ankles, apparently..."

Cantankerous Biggs is still up, but Foulmouth Brown, Scumbelly Perkins, and a few other squats are soon ready to be returned to the failboat. The failor stubs out the remains of his cig, and starts doing his job. Same as he does every night.

Cantankerous Biggs also has work to be getting on with, mugging contestants. But not without a full breakfast inside him. He is a cunning squat who always makes sure that he has enough req in the bank for the following morning. He withdraws his cash and heads straight to Booz for a drink.

Doctor Monkey Hamster Ninja watches this all with interest. "Squat culture is pretty...well unique. Never saw this happen before."

Cantankerous Biggs overhears what he takes to be a compliment. He knows, like every squat of course, that Squat Hole is looked up to by all the other outposts, but it's still nice to hear it.

Doctor Monkey Hamster Ninja hmms. "Seems like an interesting life...too bad I'm tall."

Doctor Monkey Hamster Ninja heads out.


There are further stories from Squat Hole for the interested reader.

 
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failboat_delivery.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:35 (external edit)