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Brought to you by the GERM Compendium Nonsensica.
It all started when Bernard had no kippers or toast, and Johnson and Kes were swallowed by a paper sea.
Then J made a truce with the Paperwork, and sent out some letters threatening everyone's kneecaps,
but nobody was very happy about it, especially the Staff. Well, she did threaten the sanctity of Lillith's hygiene, you just don't do that, you know.
Eben came to help with the Files, apparently a gazillion jillion bazillion is a real number. Eben knows all about numbers.
Kes is frustrated about Filling Things In, and tries putting some Common Sense in J's head (but it didn't go very well.)
Callia and Ari decide to be Outlaws and are Against Being Registered, which means they run away without doing any paperwork.
Uncle and his Sphincter are very grateful for Marly and Mr. Masefield's help with his forms, and make disparaging remarks about J's procedures.
Johnson starts to go slightly mad, and Miss Hellebore is concerned about her Relationship Status.
The Staff go on strike, and Sister Penelope Anne Mugatroyd Takes Charge. "WE'RE ON THE MARCH, THE GERM(AN) ARMY, WE'RE FED UP WITH BLOODY FORMS! WELL, WE'VE GONE AND GIVEN UP, AND WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK, BECAUSE WE'RE GERMAN STAAAAFF!
Mr Mountjoy does A Very Bad Thing, and something terrible happens to J.