This glossary was created with the intention that it remain mostly truthful, but still lighthearted. More or less as an annexe to the new player advisory.
Alt: Alternate character; a second account. Allowed for non-cheaty purposes. Don't be a dick.
Banhammer: If it has been used on you then you no longer need to know. If you have been threatened with it, pull your socks up.
BOINC: A program that lets you donate your idle computer time to science projects. The Island has a team on World Community Grid (WCG). You should join!
Buff: Temporary (usually) enhancement of equipment or ability.
Charm Vampire: Emily and Seth, found in Improbable Central. Given this name, beware of marrying them.
CMJ: CavemanJoe, the Island's admin. He is hoster, developer, writer, and Ban-dealer-wither all in one. He quit his job for you to play this game! Support him!
Contestant: Just about every inhabitant of Improbable Isle, with the possible exception of the various shopkeepers and utter lunatics.1)
CC, or CC404: CyberCity 404.
Debuff: Temporary (usually) reduction of effectiveness of equipment or ability.
Distraction: The in-house messaging system. Content may be monitored to prevent abuse.
Donator points (DP): Awarded to players that donate real money to the game, or otherwise deemed deserving through contests, BOINC altruism, etc. Can be spent on special enhancements at the Hunter's Lodge.
Drama: Negative social interaction. AVOID.
Drive Kill: (DK): Your ongoing aim in the game is to destroy the Improbability Drive.2) Doing so is referred to as achieving or attempting a Drive Kill. Colloquially referred to as "taking tea with Horatio," a tradition that rose out of S1 vets playing Jokers saying they were off to have tea with the Drive, and the equally cheeky nickname S1 vets gave to the Drive, Horatio Entwhistle. See the entry below for more information.
Dwellings (also Dwelling, and Dwellings system) A facillity whereby contestants were able to construct a building, and name it, then use it as a house, or shed, or whatever they darn well wanted. See wiki page on Dwellings. Replaced by Places.
Failboat: Purgatorial destination of those defeated in jungle combats, or unlucky in some Improbable Events.
Flavour text: Permanent written descriptions of what's going on or the surroundings. Provided to give players a 'flavour' of the context they are experiencing. Often unread despite being usually very useful.
Fourth Wall: The conceptual barrier between the audience and the action occurring in a presentational art form, such as on a stage or screen. Roleplayers ask that you don't break it.
Glossary: Reference of dubious use.3)
IC: Improbable Central
ICMoD: Ice Cream Machine of Doom. A persistent relic from the Pilot, constructed by DeadMeat and Snickerer with assistance from others. Battle-ready machine with turrets, thick defensive armour, and the ability to produce ice cream in any flavor you so wish -- if it's working.
Level up (~to): The process or act of going from one level to a higher one. In gaming parlance, to have your character attain an improvement or promotion.
Mods: People designated and authorised to apply law and order. You do not want to annoy these people. Things that annoy them include having to enforce law and order. If one them is talking to you and fingering the dice in his/her pocket, you have annoyed a mod and serious grovelling is called for. See also Zolotisty, Sessine, Epaphus, Ebenezer.
Mount: The noun, not the verb4)5). Any of a range of beasts of of burden available for contestants to purchase. Sometimes said to be of debatable and changing tactical utility.
OOC: Initialisation of "out of character".
Places (also 'Places system') Major revision of Dwellings system (see above). Buy a patch of land, build your own little place on it. Sounds pretty straightforward, huh?
PvP: Initialisation of "Player versus Player". At time of writing PvP combat is generally not condoned, except in pre-arranged role play situations.
Requisition ('req'): The common currency of Improbable Island. See also cigarettes, DP.
Rookie: A new player. Noted for confusion, glazed eyes and asking lots of questions that veterans sigh heavily about. They rarely go unanswered, though.
Seasons: Improbable Island's history consists of seasons: The Pilot, Season One, and the currently airing Season Two. The transition between them included a Reset and a great deal of changes, explaining why many roleplayers more or less strictly discern between them.
SH: Squat Hole.
Special:  Abbreviation for Joker Special, an improbable beverage usually produced by the next Joker if you ask nicely.  A certain kind of comment. After buying some, one can write comments without the Contestant Somebody attached to the beginning. Don't be a dick.
Veterans ('vets'): Established players. They frequently have colored names or special titles, Enquirer accounts, many DKs or high action level rankings. Not necessarily any wiser than the average rookie.
Watcher, The: the one running the whole show. Literally. She uses the FailBoat as a mobile base of operations from which she can rain doom and heavy amounts of snark on contestants.