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The Snowball Effect. or: Why the couch in Dunbernarding makes a dangerous landing pad.

The Scene: Several folks hanging out around in the Rookie Declan memorial hall. A challenge is laid out:

<GERM>Spandex wiggles about on her feet, restlessly. "Dave! Let's do the bannister slide Tour!"
<GERM>Spandex, in fact, doesn't wait. She's off up the stairs.
<GERM>Abundantly Ari grins at Dex's suggestion, that sound fun!
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave scritches an ear, grins at Ari, and gives her a quick peck on the cheek. "Be right back." And he's off, after Dex.
<GERM>Spandex's voice can be heard first, like a warning signal. This time the first vowel (an e) is accompanied by the higherpitched i of someone completely out of control.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's laughter can be heard behind Dex's scream. Along with the sound of socks against banister. It's a strange sound. Teh flutters down from the Mezzanine by itself.
<GERM>Jokerbot g_rock takes 4 steps to the left
<GERM>Kestrel promptly sidesteps the sudden rush of Dex and Dave, giving a little salute to the rather more sensible Teh, and wincing slightly at the relative lack of soft furnishings for gentle landings.
<GERM>Spandex launches off the bannister bum-first, on an upward swooping parabola. She attempts a cheeky forward roll, but only succeeds in ensuring a head-first landing.
<GERM>Abundantly Ari giggles and darts so she is beneath Teh to catch him.
<DICE>Ebenezer ducks behind G! "GAH!"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave seems to be moving in slow motion, lab coat flapping behind him as he surfs down the banister. He jumps at the last moment, grinning wider than his face. His arc takes him above everyone's heads. . .
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's hat lands on Ari's head and leans its feather over its brim to wave at her. Dave, for his part, continues the arc in slow motion, grabbing his feet to imitate a skateboard trick.
<GERM>Spandex squeeeiiiiii!s and jams her chin down into her neck and tries to throw her bodyweight right over. BAM BAM BAM shoulders, butt, boots hit the floor.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave sighs and glances at his wrist as the arc continues. He leans against the air next to him, tapping his foot. He's almost at the couch by now. "Really wish this would just hurry up. . ."
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave finally lands in the couch, disappearing within.

And here's where it gets weird. Y'see, outside the couch, more shenanigans are occurring; Eben being convinced to slide down the Banister himself by a combination of Ari and Dex, Bernard being, well, Bernard, and other things. But our story continues inside the couch,1) as we follow Dave's landing: (All room names are given, so one could, if one were inclined, run through Dunbernarding and follow his journey. It would help to explain the following events, if one knew where he was. It starts getting hectic from here)

The Knackered Old Sofa
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave rolls through, carried by his momentum towards the Bus Station.
Frinton On Sea Bus Station
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave continues rolling, knocking over the hoodies who, for some reason, were standing in a triangle. A television in the station displays a giant red X.
Number 38 - Frinton Omnibus
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave rolls alongside the bus, not quite running out of steam. He continues to the Golf Club.
Frinton Golf Club
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave finishes his roll by landing on the club. He stands up groggily, grasping it for balance. The golfers stop the gamboling to stare at him, redfaced.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave grins weakly at the golfers as he edges back towards the town proper. "Ah. . .er. . .uhm. . .sorry to. . .er. . .disturb. . .er. . .I'll. . .just be. . .erm. . .going. . .now. . ."
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave darts, golfers in pursuit. He doesn't seem to realize he's still carrying the club. The golfers, not used to the speed on foot, grab their carts and pick up the chase.
Number 38-Frinton Omnibus
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs out of the Golf Club, holding. . .erm. . .the club. . . He runs alongside the bus, trying to wave it over with little to no success. The golfers follow in their carts, yelling obscenities at him.
Frinton On Sea Bus Station
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs back through the station, carrying a golf club. He jumps over the hoodies as they're recovering, and they start after him, following the golf carts. Somewhere, a saxophone starts playing.2)
The Knackered Old Sofa
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave stumbles back into the couch, knocking several socks into Fluffsville. Some rather angry dust bunnies emerge, joining the hoodies and golfers in their pursuit.
The Rookie Declan Memorial Hall
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave bursts back out of the couch, trailing some saxophone music. He's got a golf club in one hand, a sock in the other, and a confused look on his face.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave looks around, and darts towards the Library wing. Moments later, a cloud of dust bunnies, several hoodies, and a bunch of golfers in their golf carts emerge from the couch, giving chase.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave nearly knocks Lilith over in his haste, and she gives a rather affronted look and runs after, behind the golfers.
<GERM>Jokerbot g_rock hears echos of Yakety Sax playing from the sofa as Dave runs through3)
The Libraries, Arts & Institute of Mechanics Wing
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs through to the Library, followed by some very angry dust bunnies, several hoodies, angry golfers, and Lillith.
The GERM Library
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave veers into the library, and dives into Flyfishing, still grasping the golf club. The dust bunnies, hoodies, golfers, and Lilith follow.
"Flyfishing" by JR Hartley
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave knocks into the tweedy bloke as he runs through, accidentally grabbing his fishing rod in the process. He'd mumble an apology, but he's already halfway across Harlem by now.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave circles the city several times, followed by the Dust Bunnies, hoodies, golfers, lillith, JR Hartley, a pimp, and 2 hookers. He dives back out of the book, and they follow.
The GERM Library
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave dives back out of the book, and scrambles out of the Library. He's trailed rather closly by the golfers, hoodies, dust bunnies, Lilith, JR Hartley, a pimp, and two hookers. And sax music.
The Libraries, Arts & Institute of Mechanics Wing
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave leads the chase (Golfers, Hoodies, Dust Bunnies, Lillith, JR Hartley, Pimp, two hookers) towards the Art Gallery, still holding the golf club and fishing rod.
The Art Gallery
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs in, knocking into several paintings. A rather confused Escher drawing falls into his arms, joining the fishing rod and golf clubs. The Morph statue hops after him angrily.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave circles around the Gallery, and runs out, trailing Golfers, Hoodies, Dust Bunnies, Lillith, JR Hartley, a Pimp, two hookers, and the statue of Morph.
The Libraries, Arts & Institute of Mechanics Wing
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave yells at the top of his lungs, over the sax music, and yelling of the group behind him, now including a hopping statue of Morph. The escher drawing in his arms nearly tips over as he races out.
The Rookie Declan Memorial Hall
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave returns, trailing sax music, golfers, hoodies, dust bunnies, JR Hartley, a pimp, two hookers, and a Statue of Morph. he's also carrying a fishing rod and an escher drawing in addition to the club.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave waves the fishing rod at Ari, and runs off to the Cellars, trailing the music and chasers.
The Cellars, Storerooms & Sink's Basket
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave takes the steps down three at a time, carrying a golf club, fishing pole, and escher drawing. He's chased towards the Bunker by two golf carts full of golfers, a group of hoodies, some dust bunnies, Lillith, JR Hartley, a Pimp, two hookers, and a statue of Morph.
The Nuclear Bunker
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is chased through to the "War" room.
The 'War' Room, Secret Labs and Mission Control
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave and chase (and music) continue on to the Labs.
The Secret Labs
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs through, knocking into the table. The cards fall into his pile of stuff in his hands. He dodges a few beagle-ey blows, and runs about, leading the chase back towards the entrance.
The 'War' Room, Secret Labs and Mission Control
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave and chase (new and improved, with angry smoking beagles) run back out of the labs, back towards the Bunker.
The Nuclear Bunker
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave, trailed by his pursuers, runs into the Subway Station.
The Subway Station
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave, still carrying the golf club, fishing pole, escher drawing, and playing cards, runs through, knocking into several jobsworths. A deluge of train tickets ends up in his arms.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs in circles, trailed by the golfers, hoodies, dust bunnies, lillith, JR Hartley, the pimp and his hookers, the Statue of Morph, the beagles, and now several Jobsworths. Exeunt, holeward.
The Nuclear Bunker
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave emerges from the station, panicked, and runs back towards the cellars, to hide in the Hole.
The Cellars, Storerooms & Sink's Basket
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave dives into the hole, a couple playing cards and tickets flying behind him. His pursuers (all of them) dive after.
Bloody Great Hole
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave leads the chase (and accompanying sax music) through to the Tunnel.
The Tunnel
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave stops for a moment, looks both ways, and dashes right. His pursuers knock into each other at the crossroads, until a hoodie spots the tickets flapping about and they give chase.
The Tunnel, heading right
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave and his armful of stuff (and screenful of pursuers) burst through to the Hospital.
St. RightHere's Hospital I.H.S Trust
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave crashes through the doors, not seeing where he's going, and into the Nurses' Station.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave emerges, several bras hanging off the fishing pole, a deep red on Dave's face, and he dodges around his pursuers, knocking over several trashcans in his path.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave speeds back out, the chase now joined by several nearly-naked nurses and a rather angry janitor.
The Tunnel, heading right
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave emerges from the hospital, arms still full of stuff (now with some white bras with red crosses on 'em), followed by his pursuers. (now also including a janitor and several half-naked nurses.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave and chase (and, once again, sax music) continue back to the Tunnel Entrance.
The Tunnel
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave leads his pursuers to the other tunnel, not looking where he's going at all.
The Tunnel, heading left
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave and chase continue on, to the sweet sweet tunes of Boots Randolph.
Willy Wanker's Chocolate-Fudge Tunnel!
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave and chase continue through, dodging the river with some unease.
The Dunbernarding Wing: Willy Wanker's Famous Chocolate Factory!
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave blinks as he enters. He can only see some of the scenery around two armfuls of stuff. He picks a doorway at random, not realizing it's the Rubber-fetish Lab.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's pursuers pause as they enter. They didn't see where he went, and mill about, wondering what to do next. Several of them want to run in random directions, and do so.
Willy Wanker's Secret Rubber-fetish Lab
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs into the lab, knocking over a bin of dildos. He turns and runs in terror, not realizing that several have landed in his arms.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave emerges from the Lab, tears in his eyes, at just the same time various groups emerge from the River and Boiled Sweet labs, trailing Orange Fuckin' Midgets. The chase resumes, back where it came from
Willy Wanker's Chocolate-Fudge Tunnel!
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave leads the chase back towards the Tunnel, and hopefully freedom beyond.
The Tunnel, heading left
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave looks around as he runs. "Where the hell is that music coming from?" and leads the roiling chase back towards the entrance.
The Tunnel
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave nearly knocks into a group of hospital patients who'd come out to find out where the nurses went. He apologizes profusely, now trailing one of their IV drips. They join the chase.
Bloody Great Hole
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave emerges, and his pursuers follow. No one's quite sure how the wheelchairs, IV drips, and golf carts get back up the hole, and no one's asking.
The Cellars, Storerooms & Sink's Basket
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave takes the steps up four at a time, balancing the golf club, fishing rod, escher drawing, playing cards, tube tickets, nurses' bras, Willy Wanker dildos, and IV drip all in his arms.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is chased by: two golf carts full of angry golfers, a group of hoodies, some dust bunnies, lillith, JR Hartley, a pimp, two hookers in heels, a statue of Morph, smoking beagles, some jobsworths, a hospital Janitor, a gaggle of half-naked Nurses, some orange midgets, and some Angry Old Folks in wheelchairs.
The Rookie Declan Memorial Hall
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave bursts out of the cellars, arms full of a golf club, fishing pole, escher drawing, playing cards, tube tickets, nurse's bras (hanging off the fishing pole), Willy Wanker Dildos, and an IV drip.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs up the stairs, dodging around Bernard. So do the golf carts full of golfers, the group of hoodies, the dust bunnies, Lillith, JR Hartley, the pimp, his two hookers (running in heels), the statue of Morph, some pissed-looking beagles, a pair of Jobsworths, some angry, half-naked nurses, a rather perturbed Janitor, a group of Orange Midgets, and wheelchair-bound octogenarians.
<GERM>Kestrel reaches out to relieve Dave of the Escher painting, all the while squinting in a befuddled way at some of the other objects. "Eh?"
<GERM>Kestrel is, regretfully - or perhaps thankfully - far too late. She finds herself holding thin air, remaining perfectly still while the crowds rush past. "Huh."
<GERM>Whatever happened to Baby Bernard points, "Hey! What's with the Orange Fucking Midgets?!"
The Stairs Up!
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave and Pursuers run up the stairs, heading for the Mezzanine.
The Mezzanine Level
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave ducks into the Chapel before the pursuers turn the corner, and they pass by, still yelling.
The Chapel of Infernal Peace
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave takes a moment to catch his breath, still holding his armfuls of stuff. He leans against a post, not realizing it's not holding anything up. It tips, knocking into the next. Hilarity ensues.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave watches the posts fall around, and the choir all stop and stare at him. He flashes a weak grin, and starts backing out. "Er. . .erm. . .sorry?"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave turns and books as the choir turns hostile, chasing after him.
The Mezzanine Level
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave emerges from the Chapel, trailing a choir in hawaiian shirts. The rest of his pursuers hear the ruckus and run back, chasing him back down the stairs.
The Stairs Up!
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs back down, trailed by his pursuers (now with Hawaiian-shirt wearing church choir) and that insistent sax music.
Rookie Declan Memorial Hall
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs back down the stairs, barely pausing to flash a look of "SHITHELPME" about before running to the Courtyard. His pursuers follow, all crying for blood.
<GERM> Kestrel is all set and ready to give a heated reply to Akogi, defend her precious novels, but Dave's cry for help is too much. With a sigh, and a muttered apology, she dashes after him-and-purusers.
The Courtyard, Stable, Allotment, and Farm
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave, arms still full of stuff, leads his pursuers towards the Grounds.
<GERM> Kestrel has now taken a place at the back of the queue, sidestepping and overtaking her way to the clannie-in-distress.
The Grounds
<GERM> Kestrel elbows her way to the front of a very long queue of people, getting more than a few kicks and punches in reply, at the front of which is Dave. "What. . . the heck. . . were you doing?"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave turns as he runs, blinking at Kes. "Ahm. . .erm. . ." He tilts his head at the Stuff. "Dunno? But now they're all chasing me!" He turns towards the bandstand, everyone in hot pursuit
The Bandstand
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs through, tripping over the band. A tuba ends up wrapped around his neck, and he turns to apologize, but decides against it as a violin bow passes by his ear.
<GERM> Kestrel pauses in the mad dash to kick away the offending violinist, and grab the bow for use as a weapon against any possible - well, inevitable - foes.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave EEPs and ducks a thrown reed, leading the chase in several circles before continuing back out to the Grounds.
The Grounds
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs back, a fresh tuba around his neck. He skids and makes tracks for the Petting Zoo, hopeful to lose his pursuers somewhere there.
<GERM> Kestrel is hopping after him with a determined expression, angry violinist clinging to her ankle, with Kes bashing at his fingers with a probably stolen bow.
The Petting Zoo
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave stumbles into the Zoo, and heads straight for the Apiary. His pursuers, just a bit too slow to see where he went, mingle about for a moment, waiting expectantly.
<GERM> Kestrel is, unfortunately, one of the ones unsure of where he went. In the middle of the mob, visibly pale, breath held as she waits to be recognised.
<GERM> Kestrel eventually manages to sidle to the edge of the crowd, avoiding eye contact at all possible costs, and takes a gamble by heading out to the apiary, where no sane person would follow.
The Apiary
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs in, the fishing pole releasing the bras into his arms, and the hook seems to move of its own accord. Dave gasps and cries out, but it's too late.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave dashes out, before the bees can realize their hive is caught on his fishing line. The beekepers, however. . . give chase!
The Petting Zoo
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave dashes out of the Apiary, slightly honeyed and pale-faced. "AHHH BEEES!" He cries as he dashes through the confused crowd. None emerge, but the keepers are in pursuit.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs back out to the grounds, and the crowd finally picks up and follows after, beekeepers included. No vikings, though. Yet.
<GERM> Kestrel is sent spinning, and stands there dizzily for a moment. "Want an aviary," she mumbles. "Not a feckin' apiary. Blimey, I miss being a falcon."
<GERM> Kestrel allows a few minutes for the world to stop spinning around her. Then she wobbles her way, carefully, after the mob.
The Grounds
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs out of the Petting Zoo, beehive swinging wildly on his fishing pole. He skids around a corner, heading for the Fair. Good place to get lost. The roiling crowd follows, yelling top-lung.
<GERM> Kestrel wobbles after the chasing mob, ricocheting off of some very spikey hedges on the way.
The Fair
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave dodges between fairgoers, knocking into a few with hurried apologies as he ducks into the Ale Tent. The crowd behind him attempts to follow.
The Real Ale Tent
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave ducks into the tent, attempting to catch his breath. The patrons all turn to stare at him. As one attempts to press an ale mug to his hands, the tent collapses under the weight of Dave's Pursuers.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave ACKs as the ale spills around him, and digs through the tent to make it safely outside. The beer aficionados join the crowd in sputtering anger, and join the chase against Dave.
The Fair
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave emerges from the collapsed Tent, and makes a mad dash for the Helter Skelter. He bumps several patrons and not a few carnies along the way, and they shake their fists at him angrily.
The Helter Skelter
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave hides behind the Helter Skelter for a moment, catching his breath. He's about to start trying to inventory the stuff in his arms when Manson gets a hungry gleam in his eye. Dave yelps and runs.
The Fair
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave knocks back through some of the same patrons and carnies as Charles Manson runs after him, a hungry gleam in his eye. The ale-tent mess seems to have been sorted, and the rest of. . .
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's pursuers catch sight of him, and run off. Several Fairgoers and a good deal of Carnies join the crowd.4)
Eeh bah Gum, lad. It's the Farmer's Market.5)
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs through, knocking over some chicken fencing and tumbling through the coop. He emerges on the other side, a chicken clinging to the beehive, and another caught in his hair.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's pursuers catch up, and the farm is nearly levelled as they chase after him. The farmer emerges from his house and yells, pitchfork in hand. He joins the pursuit.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave sees a path to the coachyard, and takes it.

MEANWHILE

The Bouncy Castle, Fairgrounds
<GERM> Kestrel knows she took a wrong turning somewhere, because even though she knows that she's dizzy, the world should not be oscillating and swaying and dancing the can-can quite this much.
<GERM> Kestrel slowly keels over onto her side, while happily oblivious people jump around and over her. She squints a little, at the bluish blur in front of her face. "You look an awful lot like. . . like. . ."
<GERM> Kestrel's dragon whips its tail around to poke her in the nose, then huffs a little warm air on her chin as she blinks in realisation. "But. . . what the. . ." she blinks again, muzzily
<GERM> Kestrel slowly sits up, then winces as kagero tugs on a lock of her hair. "Alright, alright, I'm coming." Hand on the wall for what little support it gives, she stands shakily.
<GERM> Kestrel rubs a hand across her forehead, nearly toppling again. kagero flits to her shoulder, a comfortable and familiar weight there, hrring something unintelligible in her ear.
<GERM> Kestrel reaches up to give his tail a thankful squeeze, then slowly, slowly, makes her way back off of the castle.

BREATHER OVER, BACK TO THE CHASE!

We rejoin Dave, who's managed to reach the Paddock, by the Stables, Courtyard, Dunbernarding, IC, II, etc. Time to take stock, shall we?6)
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs through, carrying: a golf club, a fishing pole, an escher drawing, several decks of playing cards, a bunch of Tube tickets, several Nurse's Bras (white with red crosses), Willy Wanker dildos,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave| an IV drip (and stand), a tuba around his neck, a beehive hanging from the fishing pole, an ale mug held in one pinky, a chicken in his hair, and another clinging to the beehive.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is chased through by: two golf carts full of golfers, a group of hoodies, several large dustbunnies, lillith, JR Hartley, a 70s Harlem Pimp and two of his hookers, a statue, some smoking Beagles,
<GERM> Kestrel,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave| a couple Jobsworths, a gaggle of angry, half-naked nurses, a Janitor, a group of Orange Midgets, a handful of wheelchair-bound octogenarians, a hawaiian-shirted church choir, some beekepers,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave| a string-and-brass band, a riled up group of Beer Aficionados, Charles Manson, an assortment of fairground goers and carnies, and a rather riled-up farmer.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave and Chase run back through towards the Stable Block, heading for the front doors and IC.
The Stable Block
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs through the Stableyard, under the weight of armfulls of stuff, and followed by a roiling crowd of angry pursuers. Full listing in Paddock. They roil back towards the entrance.
The Courtyard, stable, allotment & urban farm
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is chased through from the Stable Block, and runs back towards Reception, and sweet freedom beyond.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's pursuers seem to disagree with this, as they slowly gain on him.
The Rookie Declan Memorial Hall
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs through the halls, carrying a mound of stuff. (Full details at the Paddock) The chicken caught in his hair squawks noisily as they burst through the front doors.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's pursuers (again, full details at the Paddock) chase after, making a right mess of the hall. Someone manages to knock over Declan. A sad day indeed. The chase continues. Probably out to IC.
<GERM> Kestrel, however, manages to pick Declan back up again, with a brief, comforting hug, before resuming the chase. Drattit, now the nurses have overtaken her again.

IMPROBABLE CENTRAL

<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs into town carrying a golf club, a fishing pole, an escher drawing, several decks of playing cards, a bunch of Tube tickets, several Nurse's Bras (white with red crosses), Willy Wanker dildos,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|an IV drip (and stand), a tuba around his neck, a beehive hanging from the fishing pole, an ale mug held in one pinky, a chicken in his hair, and another clinging to the beehive.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is followed by a roiling crowd: two golf carts full of golfers, a group of hoodies, several large dustbunnies, lillith, JR Hartley, a 70s Harlem Pimp and two of his hookers, a statue,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some smoking Beagles, a couple Jobsworths, a gaggle of angry, half-naked nurses, a Janitor, a group of Orange Midgets, a handful of wheelchair-bound octogenarians, a hawaiian-shirted church choir,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some beekepers, a string-and-brass band, a riled up group of Beer Aficionados, Charles Manson, an assortment of fairground goers and carnies, and a rather riled-up farmer.
<GERM> Kestrel is also following, quite possibly dizzy, and most certainly no longer aware of what on earth is happening. She seems to be following the sounds, more than anything else.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave ducks into the church as he rounds a corner. The roiling crowd behind him passes by without seeing. There are sounds of a scuffle in the church, a blast of Tuba, and the squawking of chickens.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave can be heard arguing with Capelthwaite, mostly about the chickens ruining the sanctity of the church. The crowd chases itself around the square for a bit.
<GERM> Kestrel can be seen standing anxiously outside the church, along with the colourfully dressed choir, who vehemently refuse to enter such an unholy place. "What the heck are you doing in there, Dave?!"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's voice rings clear from the church. "NO! They're not my chickens! I Did~" The rest is cut off by the distinct sound of a holy water font tipping over. The details are sketchy, but it's clear,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is being blamed for it. He bursts out of the church in a rustle of chickenfeathers, mostly from the one in his hair. The beehived chicken looks rather drenched.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave flashes an apologetic smile to Kestrel as he jumps over the heads of the choir. They turn as one and yell after him. Capelthwaite runs out of the church, screaming at the top of his lungs.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave YIPE!s loudly as a thrown rock bangs off the tuba around his neck. The crowd in the square turns as one being, and with a cry of "AFTER HIM!" They resume the chase, heading for Squat Hole.
<GERM> Kestrel sways from side to side, trying to regain some idea of what is happening, and comes to the conclusion that Dave is In Trouble. That in mind, she fights a sudden wave of dizziness, and follows.

SQUAT HOLE

<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs into town carrying a golf club, a fishing pole, an escher drawing, several decks of playing cards, a bunch of Tube tickets, several Nurse's Bras (white with red crosses), Willy Wanker dildos,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|an IV drip (and stand), a tuba around his neck, a beehive hanging from the fishing pole, an ale mug held in one pinky, a chicken in his hair, and another clinging to the beehive.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is followed by a roiling crowd: two golf carts full of golfers, a group of hoodies, several large dustbunnies, lillith, JR Hartley, a 70s Harlem Pimp and two of his hookers, a statue,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some smoking Beagles, a couple Jobsworths, a gaggle of angry, half-naked nurses, a Janitor, a group of Orange Midgets, a handful of wheelchair-bound octogenarians, a hawaiian-shirted church choir,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some beekepers, a string-and-brass band, a riled up group of Beer Aficionados, Charles Manson, an assortment of fairground goers and carnies, a rather riled-up farmer, and Capelthwaite.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave nearly slips in several puddles of. . .well. . .he's not sure he wants to know, and makes a dive for the nearest door, hoping to have better luck than in IC.
<GERM> Kestrel is wobbling her way determinedly after, queasiness not helped by the sudden wave of stench coming from the outpost. Her face now decidedly green, she hesitates, then diverts her path.
<GERM> Kestrel quickly pulls her hair into a ponytail, with fumbling fingers, then leans over the skronky pot. A rainbow of various colours, each more vivid than the last, crosses her face in a matter of seconds.
<GERM> Kestrel doesn't hold onto her breakfast for long. She stumbles away again, wiping her mouth clean with a handkerchief, staring dazedly at the coins that the midget shoved into her hand.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's pursuers round a corner and bowl over a game of craps, and the car it was being played on. The midgets involved scramble for the req as it spills. A sound of an argument emerges from Julia's.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is trying to defend himself, saying that no, he didn't mean to interrupt Carmen's "session" with that young lady, and he's terribly sorry but could everyone keep their voices down?
<GERM> Kestrel turns on one foot to rejoin the parade, feeling marginally less dying than before, then stops where she is, expression disgusted. "I'm. . . I'm. . . I'm telling Ari!"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's argument comes to a head inside Julia's, as two midgets yell and scream at each other about the ownership of a particular req token. They're both tugging on it, and it's starting to stretch.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave, unfortunately, can't hear Kes from within the argument, but he can see her as he runs out, blushing a deep crimson. The reason? The chicken hanging on the beehive has a pair of knickers in its beak.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs past the fighting midgets, getting the copper wire tangled in the golf club as he passes. They turn to yell, as Carmen runs by, screaming at the top of her lungs. The rest of the crowd turns as
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs past. The farmer raises his pitchfork, calling out "GIT'IM!" and the crowd resumes its pursuit. One of the band members starts an old Boots Randolf tune on sax as they head west.

NEW PITTSBURGH

A large group of Zombies is gatherd around a pavillion, where a speaker is droning about how Zombies have gotten too cliche, and need change
The speaker describes his idea for a new movement, around the idea "Brains are friends, not food!"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs into town carrying a golf club, a fishing pole, an escher drawing, several decks of playing cards, a bunch of Tube tickets, several Nurse's Bras (white with red crosses), Willy Wanker dildos,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|an IV drip (and stand), a tuba around his neck, a beehive hanging from the fishing pole, an ale mug held in one pinky, a chicken in his hair, another clinging to the beehive,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|a pair of Carmen's Knickers, and a spool of copper wire.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is followed by a roiling crowd: two golf carts full of golfers, a group of hoodies, several large dustbunnies, lillith, JR Hartley, a 70s Harlem Pimp and two of his hookers, a statue,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some smoking Beagles, a couple Jobsworths, a gaggle of angry, half-naked nurses, a Janitor, a group of Orange Midgets, a handful of wheelchair-bound octogenarians, a hawaiian-shirted church choir,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some beekepers, a string-and-brass band, a riled up group of Beer Aficionados, Charles Manson, an assortment of fairground goers and carnies, a rather riled-up farmer, Capelthwaite, Carmen,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|and a pair of midget gamblers.
<GERM> Kestrel is trudging somewhere at the end, caught between amusement, exasperation, Capelthwaite and Carmen. Really, she things, things have gone far past the realms of ridiculousness.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave crashes through the restaurant, emerging from the back door with a large plate of Brains, brains, peppers and Spam. He continues past the pavilion, barely glancing behind him at the crowd.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs through the crowd around the Pavilion, as the speaker tries to calm them. The group doesn't seem to hear, and follows the smell of BRAAAAINS, falling into the chasing crowd.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave turns around and YIPEs loudly as the "Brain Eaters Anonymous" club is carried along by his pursuers. "Oh come on! That's not even fair!"
<GERM> Kestrel lets out a cry akin to a startled shriek, suddenly surrounded by crazed zombies on all sides, and picks up the pace somewhat to hopefully catch up with that bloomin' Dave.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave nearly trips over the IV stand as he runs out to the north. Hopefully he can ditch the pursuers between here and AceHigh. Hopefully. The crowd follows, the sax player still playing Yakety Sax.

ACE HIGH

<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs into town carrying a golf club, a fishing pole, an escher drawing, several decks of playing cards, a bunch of Tube tickets, several Nurse's Bras (white with red crosses), Willy Wanker dildos,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|an IV drip (and stand), a tuba around his neck, a beehive hanging from the fishing pole, an ale mug held in one pinky, a chicken in his hair, another clinging to the beehive,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|a pair of Carmen's Knickers, a spool of copper wire, and a plate of Brains Brains Peppers + Spam.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is followed by a roiling crowd: two golf carts full of golfers, a group of hoodies, several large dustbunnies, lillith, JR Hartley, a 70s Harlem Pimp and two of his hookers, a statue,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some smoking Beagles, a couple Jobsworths, a gaggle of angry, half-naked nurses, a Janitor, a group of Orange Midgets, a handful of wheelchair-bound octogenarians, a hawaiian-shirted church choir,
<SWEET> Bree staares after Dave. ". . . . . . .Uh?"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some beekepers, a string-and-brass band, a riled up group of Beer Aficionados, Charles Manson, an assortment of fairground goers and carnies, a rather riled-up farmer, Capelthwaite, Carmen,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|a pair of midget gamblers, and a "Braineaters Anonymous" meeting.
<GERM> Kestrel is caught in the midst of the frantic mob, wide-eyed and terrified for her life. It would help, she thinks, if the person shoving from behind her were wearing more than just a shirt.
<LAID>Improbable Catboy Conchor blinks, looking at Dave and the assortment of items that he is bringing into the outpost, ". . .Um. . ." The day just got weirder.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave ducks around a couple Jokers practicing card tricks in the air, turning to flash an apologetic grin to them.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave therefore doesn't see that he's on a direct collision course for the Cake or Death stand. Cakey, however, manages to dive away in time. A loud CRASH echoes through the outpost.
<SWEET> Bree winces. "Ow."
<GERM> Kestrel unapologetically makes a grab for one of the cards, spins it around in midair, then recieves a cup of scalding tea to the face for her trouble. "Eurgh. . . cheers, mate."
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave tumbles through the remains of the stand, holding a rather tasty looking Battenberg Cake, and a couple slices of Chocolate Pie. He stumbles a bit, the chickens flapping dangerously.
<LAID>Improbable Catboy Conchor winces also at the loud crashing noise. He tries to speak but he can't seem to find his voice.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave manages to balance the cake on top of the tuba, but isn't so fortunate with the pie. The slices go flying, one towards Kestrel, the other towards Cakey. The latter being closer, he can't react.
<SWEET> Bree merely watches in disbelief.
<GERM> Kestrel frog-hops over a particularly horrified member of the choir, tumbling head-first into a pile of victoria sponge. Beside her head, a tantalising gleam. . . Cakey's cakeslice.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave tries to flash an apologetic grin to Cakey, but the latter can't see thanks to the pie covering his face. He goes to wipe it off but only manages to spread it to his suit.
<GERM> Kestrel recieves a slice of pie to the face just as she successfully brandishes her new shiney. "Looky looky, Dave!"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave manages a thumbs-up to Kestrel as he regains his footing. The cake balances precariously on the tuba around his neck as he darts for the east gate. Cakey joins the crowd chasing after him, fuming.
<SWEET> Bree staaares.
<LAID>Improbable Catboy Conchor stares wide-eyed at the scene before him. He cannot look away! It's like watching a train wreck!
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave loses a couple punched subway tickets as he makes it out the gate. The gate seems to have some trouble with the crowd pushing through it, but manages. A single saxophone continues playing througout.
<GERM> Kestrel wipes away the worst of the chocolate pie with a passerby's sleeve, then catches a nonconsenting piggybackride with the newest addition to the team.

CYBER CITY 404

<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs into town carrying a golf club, a fishing pole, an escher drawing, several decks of playing cards, a bunch of Tube tickets, several Nurse's Bras (white with red crosses), Willy Wanker dildos,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|an IV drip (and stand), a tuba around his neck, a beehive hanging from the fishing pole, an ale mug held in one pinky, a chicken in his hair, another clinging to the beehive,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|a pair of Carmen's Knickers, a spool of copper wire, a plate of Brains Brains Peppers + Spam, and a Battenberg Cake balanced on the Tuba.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is followed by a roiling crowd: two golf carts full of golfers, a group of hoodies, several large dustbunnies, lillith, JR Hartley, a 70s Harlem Pimp and two of his hookers, a statue,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some smoking Beagles, a couple Jobsworths, a gaggle of angry, half-naked nurses, a Janitor, a group of Orange Midgets, a handful of wheelchair-bound octogenarians, a hawaiian-shirted church choir,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some beekepers, a string-and-brass band, a riled up group of Beer Aficionados, Charles Manson, an assortment of fairground goers and carnies, a rather riled-up farmer, Capelthwaite, Carmen,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|a pair of midget gamblers, a "Braineaters Anonymous" meeting, and the Cake-or-Death Joker.
<GERM> Kestrel is gripping onto Cakey's shoulders for dear life, having just experienced the most terrifying piggy-back ride that you can imagine.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave manages to keep the cake balanced as he trips over himself, ducking around behind a pile of scrap as he turns a corner, and watches the crowd run by, yelling and screaming for him.
<GERM> Kestrel seems possibly too afraid to let go. And who can blame her, faced with that manic grin. So frozen she remains, pale-faced, dreading what comes next.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave takes a deep breath, as the chickens calm down slightly, the one caught in his hair settling in and peering around. He watches the last of the crowd run by, and starts sneaking back along the wall.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's pursuers run around the outpost, the saxophonist still somehow playing over it all. Dave, for his part, sneaksneaks along the wall until he trips over a cable, unplugging it.
<GERM> Kestrel slowly drops to the left, as her steed picks up speed, and she lands with a groan on a pile of scrap. "Thanks for the lift," she manages weakly.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave winces, but seems relieved as nothing major happens. That is, until the two repairbots who seemed to have been enjoying the shared cable stand up and turn on him. "EXTERMINATE"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave EEEEEPs loudly, and turns to run. the cable gets caught in the IV stand, and tugs out of the other robot with a loud screeech. The crowd stops, and turns as one.
<GERM> Kestrel scrambles back to her feet, glancing between the crowd and the prey. She clears her throat quietly, rejoining the mob in an attempt to blend in safely.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave smiles weakly at the pair of robots. "Ah. . .er. . .sorry to interrupt. . .but. . .ah. . .erm. . ." He bounces slightly, trying to get his footing back. "YOU INTERRUPTED US, FLESHY!" "Not so loud!"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave realizes it's rather too late. The mob has spotted him. The saxophonist picks back up, and he makes a beeline for the south gate, hoping to lose the crowd in the mountains between here and Pville.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave nearly trips over the power cable as it wraps around the IV stand properly, managing to barely hold on to the ale mug as the crowd follows him out the gate, yelling.
<GERM> Kestrel scrambles back to her feet, glancing between the crowd and the prey. "But in public?" she calls out. "There're innocent rookies here, droids. Control yourselves!"
<GERM> Kestrel tags along behind the crowd, launching herself back onto Cakey's back. "Giddyup, man!"

PLEASANTVILLE

<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs into town carrying a golf club, a fishing pole, an escher drawing, several decks of playing cards, a bunch of Tube tickets, several Nurse's Bras (white with red crosses), Willy Wanker dildos,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|an IV drip (and stand), a tuba around his neck, a beehive hanging from the fishing pole, an ale mug held in one pinky, a chicken in his hair, another clinging to the beehive,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|a pair of Carmen's Knickers, a spool of copper wire, a plate of Brains Brains Peppers + Spam, a Battenberg Cake balanced on the Tuba, and a power cable.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is followed by a roiling crowd: two golf carts full of golfers, a group of hoodies, several large dustbunnies, lillith, JR Hartley, a 70s Harlem Pimp and two of his hookers, a statue,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some smoking Beagles, a couple Jobsworths, a gaggle of angry, half-naked nurses, a Janitor, a group of Orange Midgets, a handful of wheelchair-bound octogenarians, a hawaiian-shirted church choir,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some beekepers, a string-and-brass band, a riled up group of Beer Aficionados, Charles Manson, an assortment of fairground goers and carnies, a rather riled-up farmer, Capelthwaite, Carmen,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|a pair of midget gamblers, a "Braineaters Anonymous" meeting, the Cake-or-Death Joker, and a pair of repairbot lovers.
<ICEE>Frogmorph Buddleia pats her.7) "So, I sent the messages yesterday, and she got straight back to me and we went to look. Don't know about him. We're on the case."
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave skirts around Cuthbert's, trying to get lost in a crowd of mutants. The various things he's carrying hamper this slightly, especially the squawking chickens.
<GERM> Kestrel is holding tight onto a shiny cakeslice with one hand, and Cakey's shoulder with another. Once again, she seems to be regretting choosing him for the piggybackride.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave attempts, unsuccessfully, to silence the chickens, which succeeds only in overbalancing the cake, which he takes a moment to restore as the golf carts round the corner. He yelps, and runs.
<GERM> Kestrel seems to have joined the bloodthirsty mob, and has no qualms whatsoever about that. "Ahoy, Dave! To your left! No, your other left! Ouch - watch out, you fool!"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave turns to yell back, which means he's not looking at the elderly mutant holding a disgustingly yellow three-armed sweater out to her grandson. This is unfortunate for everyone involved, as it means
<ICEE>Frogmorph Buddleia turns to peer at the sudden crowd . . . what wonderful craziness are they bringing now?
<ICEE>Giraffe Edith nods to Budd, and writes "Thanks Budd, let me know if you need help."
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave ends up running through the sweater, which somehow ends up on his legs, mostly-empty third arm flapping between his legs. He'd turn to apologize, but that cake is overbalancing again.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave manages to tilt his head so the chicken hits the cake back in position. This also helps quiet that particular chicken for the time being. The two mutants yell after him, and start chasing.
<GERM> Kestrel, along with the rest of the mob, are still charging mightily towards the poor Accomplice. "For goodness' sake, man - run!"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs past a giraffe and frog, flashing them a quick grin and a "You might want to get out of the street. . ." as he trips by. One of the Willy Wanker dildos bounces out of his arms.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave has no time to go back for it. He's not even sure he wants to. The elderly mutant and her grandson have joined the crowd, which chases him out the southeast exit. That saxophonist is still playing.

KITTANIA

<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs into town carrying a golf club, a fishing pole, an escher drawing, several decks of playing cards, a bunch of Tube tickets, several Nurse's Bras (white with red crosses), Willy Wanker dildos,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|an IV drip (and stand), a tuba around his neck, a beehive hanging from the fishing pole, an ale mug held in one pinky, a chicken in his hair, another clinging to the beehive,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|a pair of Carmen's Knickers, a spool of copper wire, a plate of Brains Brains Peppers + Spam, a Battenberg Cake balanced on the Tuba, and a power cable.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's legs are currently being warmed by a three-armed sweater, the third arm flapping between his legs as he runs.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is followed by a roiling crowd: two golf carts full of golfers, a group of hoodies, several large dustbunnies, lillith, JR Hartley, a 70s Harlem Pimp and two of his hookers, a statue,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some smoking Beagles, a couple Jobsworths, a gaggle of angry, half-naked nurses, a Janitor, a group of Orange Midgets, a handful of wheelchair-bound octogenarians, a hawaiian-shirted church choir,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some beekepers, a string-and-brass band, a riled up group of Beer Aficionados, Charles Manson, an assortment of fairground goers and carnies, a rather riled-up farmer, Capelthwaite, Carmen,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|a pair of midget gamblers, a "Braineaters Anonymous" meeting, the Cake-or-Death Joker, a pair of repairbot lovers, and a grandmother-and-grandson Mutant pair.
<ICEE>Handyman Kikuru's die lands on golden hourglass. . . . . . -Calico Katt snaps her finger to regain Caru's attention- Kikuru blinks. "Huh, that was weird. . ."
<GERM> Kestrel long ago decided that a hasty departure from Cakey's back, during this furious piggybackride, would involve more pain than success. That floor looks rather solid to her.
<GERM> Kestrel, therefore, clings on with the shiny cakeslice between her teeth, handily holding back the hysterical laughter.
<ICEE>Handyman Kikuru watches the procession go by, openmouthed. He completely forgets about that hiccup in time.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave nearly trips over the "leg" of "his" sweater, setting the cake to wobble precariously. He shifts the tuba again, mostly so he can see. Unfortunately, it's too late.
Returning Contestant Caru watches the dice game until a huge distraction comes running into town. She tilts her whole body to watch Teh Dave run by with all of his accesories, hoping something would fall to play with.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave crashes through the wall of Mike's, sending chickenfeathers, playing cards, tube-rail tickets, and splinters flying. Startled revving echoes from within, along with Mike's yelling.
<QQQ> Devon snores
Returning Contestant Caru mrows happily, it all fell! She darts towards the furiously sqwacking chickens with her mouth open.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's pursuers converge on Mike's after Dave, all yelling and climbing over each other to get at him. He emerges from the front door, stumbling over the IV stand, covered in catnip-hay.
<srs>Unstable Kolojang takes a glove off and licks his finger before holding it up. "Mmmm, time ripples. Interesting." He kicks the old mare, his foot going through it while its image evaporates. "You win."
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave would note that the chickens are rather attached to his hair and the beehive-on-a-fishing-pole, respectively. Clinging for dear life.
<GERM> Kestrel takes advantage of the huge crowd to drop away from Cakey, sending him stumbling, then dash over to front door and sudden Dave.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave manages to avoid a thrown viola, though the cake on his tuba wobbles wildly. He glances behind himself at the sound of revving and yelps loudly, beelining for the gate.
Returning Contestant Caru gets closer than leaps at one of the chickens, despite it still being in his hair, it was slightly cocked off to the side, so she was hoping not to nic him in the process.
<GERM> Kestrel, however, makes the mistake of jumping towards the revving sound, and finds herself suddenly astride a sleek black kittybike. "Aaah! I mean, hello, sweetie?"
<ICEE>Handyman Kikuru projects "I suppose. It's kinda hard to tell with these games nowadays."
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave yelps and ducks under the flying Caru, and makes a mad dash for the gate, sending rail tickets flying in his wake. The crowd yells as one and chases after, trampling a flowerbed.
<GERM> Kestrel prrrrumbles her way after the mob/crowd/cacophany, with very little control of direction, eyes squeezed tightly shut.

NEWHOME

<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave runs into town carrying a golf club, a fishing pole, an escher drawing, several decks of playing cards, a bunch of Tube tickets, several Nurse's Bras (white with red crosses), Willy Wanker dildos,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|an IV drip (and stand), a tuba around his neck, a beehive hanging from the fishing pole, an ale mug held in one pinky, a chicken in his hair, another clinging to the beehive,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|a pair of Carmen's Knickers, a spool of copper wire, a plate of Brains Brains Peppers + Spam, a Battenberg Cake balanced on the Tuba, and a power cable.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's legs are currently being warmed by a three-armed sweater, the third arm flapping between his legs as he runs. He's also covered in Catnip-hay.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is followed by a roiling crowd: two golf carts full of golfers, a group of hoodies, several large dustbunnies, lillith, JR Hartley, a 70s Harlem Pimp and two of his hookers, a statue,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some smoking Beagles, a couple Jobsworths, a gaggle of angry, half-naked nurses, a Janitor, a group of Orange Midgets, a handful of wheelchair-bound octogenarians, a hawaiian-shirted church choir,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|some beekepers, a string-and-brass band, a riled up group of Beer Aficionados, Charles Manson, an assortment of fairground goers and carnies, a rather riled-up farmer, Capelthwaite, Carmen,
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave|a pair of midget gamblers, a "Braineaters Anonymous" meeting, the Cake-or-Death Joker, a pair of repairbot lovers, a grandmother-and-grandson Mutant pair, and a herd of KittyBikes.
<GERM> Kestrel is embracing one of the kittybikes, a sleek black fella, who kindly carried her this whole way. Eyes squeezed shut, cakeslice stuck in belt, kagero perched, alert, on her left shoulder.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave nearly trips over the IV stand, feet getting tangled in the power cable. The chicken in his hair squawks loudly one last time, and flaps its wings mightily. The cake, alas, is sent overboard.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone blinks, and says, "hello dave." and then looks upwards as the cake is airborne. "woah, is that a Battenberg?"
<GERM> Kestrel cracks an eye open to see the cake start to fall, and focuses all of her efforts in getting this darn thing to stop.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave, unfortunately, is in no position to do this. Mostly due to the enormity of stuff weighing him down. And the chicken in his hair. Mostly that. It beats its wings in his eyes.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave is still attempting to hop away from the crowd chasing him, and manages to get some momentum with the IV stand's wheels. He manages a rather confused line into Basic Training.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone starts backing up, both hands extended. She's gonna SAVE THE CAKE, "TO ME TO MEEEEE!"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave and the Corporal can be heard yelling at each other, and the chickens, in Basic Training. The crowd storms through, running after.
<GERM> Kestrel eventually gives up with pulling the kittybike to a stop, and instead sucks in a sharp breath, dives off of the side, and rolls to lessen the impact on the concrete.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone backstesps frantically eyes on the cake and only on the cake. perhaps she should be looking where she's going, but when has she ever done that before?
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave emerges from Basic, still half-tied-up in the sweater and power cable, tripping over the IV stand. The chickens seem to have vanished in the crowd, and he's losing the tickets, cards, and dildos.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone trips over her feet, drops into a backwards roll, recovers and is back up, beckoning that cake as it enters its descent.
<GERM> Kestrel winces, uncurls, and wipes some blood away from a scrape on her cheek as she gets, unsteadily, back to her feet.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave's pursuers file out of Basic behind him, still yelling. The Corporal peers out the window, shocked to silence. Somewhere, a pig gets its wings.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone is lined up just exactly right to make that catch. all she has to do is keep her eyes on the- "whuhhh?" she turns her head towards the Dave-Crowd
<GERM> Kestrel waves an arm, her better right arm, to get Dave's attention. "Dave! What're we going to do?"
Rookie Halorien sits on the nearest surface he can find, sighing contentedly. He strokes a hand through his blood encrusted hair. "Weird place."
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave nearly trips over Halorien, sending the last of the cards and the beehive flying. One of the beekepers catches a card, and Manson catches the beehive. It's only then that the bees within awaken.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone starts to greet Dave, but she does not get very far. She manages "Da" And then her face is obscured in a small explosion of pink andyellow marzipan.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave stops watching the man getting chased out of NewHome by bees and hop/trip/stumbles over to Kes. The rest of the crowd is still chasing, picking up speed again. That saxophonist is still playing.
<GERM> Kestrel dashes forwards to rescuse the Escher painting before it falls from his arms. "Mine, as compensation. Now. You gotta plan, or want me to make something up?"
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone says "flrarghlfh." And then, as she is forcibly sat down by the impact, something that might be "Howzatfhpgh."
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave blinkblinks. "What's this. . ."plan". . .you speak of?" The crowd is getting closer, still roiling.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave adjusts the tuba for better comfort, now that his hands are a bit emptier.
<GERM> Kestrel smiles, hugging the drawing to her chest, then clambering to the top of a crate. "RIGHT!" she yells, to the assembled mob, "Thank you VERY much for coming."
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone blinkblinks, stickily. What is that tune the sax is playing. sure sounds familiar.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave ducks behind the crate as Kestrel starts speaking. The crowd members all stop in their tracks, blinking up at Kestrel.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone grins through a mask of marzipan at Rookie Durani. "uhh, hello. have some cake." she peels a handful from her face and offers it.
<GERM> Kestrel grins fully and widely, standing up a little straighter. "As you ALL know, today is the LONG-awaited opening of-of the orphanage. Yes, um, the Newhome Orphanage."
<GERM> Kestrel clears her throat sheepishly. "Since EVERY ONE of you has so KINDLY donated to this WONDERFUL cause, we have invited you here today to celebrate the-the grand opening."
Rookie Haloriensits crosslegged, his eyes closed, taking deep breaths through his nose. A slight smirk is spread across his lips.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone puts her fingers to her lips, "sssshhhh, it's the after-dinner speeches"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave blinkblinks up at Kes, head tilting. The crowd murmurs among themselves, asking questions. None seem to have any answers.
<GERM> Kestrel continues hastily, "And as added thanks for your SELFLESS and GENEROUS support, we have arranged a CASH GIFT for every one of you, courtesy of Dan's lottery."
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone is meanwhile edging closer to the crowd, hoping she'll qualify for the CASH GIFT.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave perks his ears up, as does the entire crowd standing in front of Kestrel. She has their attention.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave watches as the crowd shuffles out the south gate finally, after much murmured discussion. A cash gift? really? Dave gets up to start following.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone looks around shiftily. and, as surreptitiously as one can be with a face all-over-battenberg, she starts to edge after Dave.
<GERM> Kestrel puts out her other arm to stop him, eyes creased in silent laughter. "They're gone, see?" she whispers. "It was a trick. You can escape now."
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave blinkblinks. "Ah. . .right. Erm. . .anyone want a tuba?" He holds up the instrument for general viewing.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone has not clocked the trick part. she's still edging towards . . . "Dave" she hisses, "why you stopped? Kes said CASH PRIZE!"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave shoves the golf club, fishing pole, IV drip stand, ale mug, and wire into his pockets. The bras and knickers he leaves on the crate, in case anyone wants 'em. Slightly used.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave leans over to calli as the last of the carnies files out of NewHome. "Erm. . .no cash prizes. Probably best if we leave soon. . .like. . .er. . .before they realize it. . ." He glances around nervously.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone says, yussalrightifyouthinkit'sbest" because Dave always knows what's what. she scrapes some more cake from her cheek, and eats it. no cash prize, but battenberg. it'll do.
<GERM> Kestrel steps down from the crate again, grinning like a fool, and looking at the picture in her hands as though she doesn't quite believe it. "Thanks, Dave."
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave laughs, and pats Kes on the shoulder. "You're welcome. Thanks for coming along for the ride." He grins down to calli. "glad someone's enjoying it. Nearly fell enough." He goes to take a step
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave trips into the fountain, having forgotten about the power cable wrapped around his ankles. On the plus side, it washes off the catnip-hay.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone really hopes that power cable's not connected.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave would note that it was, back in CC. He sputters and splashes about in the fountain, finally managing to sit up. He sprays some water skyward.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone grins, but keeps a safe distance from any bathing activities. she doesn't wanna lose any cake before its time. she says, have a nice trip didya?"
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave laughs. "Wonderful." He untangles the cable, and shoves it in his pocket as well. Since no one seems to want the Tuba, it joins the rest of the stuff in his pocket.
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave hops out of the fountain, shaking himself a bit to dry out. He grins over to Kes and calli. "Think I'm gonna head home. Catch you both later."
<GERM> Kestrel hugs the picture to her chest with one arm, and salutes Dave with the other. "Don't worry, I promise not to tell Ari, after all. Sleep tight!
<GERM>Accomplice Teh Dave blinkblinks at Kes, head tilting. "What'ya mean? I'm gonna tell her all about it" He grins, waves, and bounces out.
<GERM>Paint-pot calliaphone grins to Kes. "think i might follow his example. y'coming?" and with a wave to the rest of New Home, she trots towards the exit.
<GERM> Kestrel smirks, shakes her head at the bouncing Accomplice, then absentmindedly follows callia from the outpost.

1) At least, for now. Until we return to the Rookie Declan Memorial Hall
2) Yes, it is what you think it is
3) Yep
4) OOPS! erm. . .at this point, I'd forgotten to note I went to the Farmer's Market
5) Yes, that's really the name
6) Formatting preserved from original, to get the right feel of the wall of text following Dave from this point
7) Edith
 
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how_to_win_friends_and_influence_people.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)