From The Improbable Island Contestant's Survival Guide, Season 2 Edition.
Your implant is that big, thing built into your body in awkward places1). It provides you with additional capabilities - and you're definitely going to need those on the Island.
Implants are free to all contestants, and can be removed at any contestants request2). Get your implants at the Implant Hut in any outpost! Just look for the hut that says "IMPLANTS."
New contestants ('newbies') can request one of two types of implants:
Rumor has it that after killing the Improbability Drive twice, the contestant will be offered a choice of additional types of implants, and more implant types become available as the number of drive kills increases. At this time, the following implants are rumored to be available for more experienced contestants:
LS-989-440 Skull-Mountable Semiconductor Laser (Skull-Mounted Laser): An implant that fires an energy beam that can be used to aid in targeting or to burn an opponent to a crisp from a safe distance away. It can also burn the heck out of the newbie, though, so it should be used with caution.
MightyMito (TM) Neural Implant (Mitochondrial Acceleration)4)
: This implant will allow the contestant to exert cellular-level bodily control. It can be used to grow a spontaneous mustache,5)
make one's hide tougher, or accelerate cellular regeneration.
PherLure (TM) Pheromone Injections (Pheromone Injection Pack)6)
: Need more charm? This pack is just the ticket. It increases the contestant's pheromone production, causing a number of distracting emotional reactions in opponents.7)
It temporarily gives the contestant a number of Kittymorph
-like advantages in a fight.
SERVOTUDE(TM) Combat Servo System (Servo Arms)
: Unlike the other skull-based implants, this one is bolted onto the contestant's spine. It adds an additional set of mechanical arms that can be used for offensive or defensive maneuvers.8)9)
TeleSwift (TM) Neural Implant (Telekinesis)10)
: This particularly useful implant allows the contestant to perform mind-over-matter feats, ranging from low-level stunts like deflecting damage, to paralyzing an opponent, to causing an opponent to explode into flames.11)
PathComms (TM) Neural Implant (Telepathy)12)
: This implant can be used to toy with an opponent's mind, from causing pangs of guilt, to agonizing headaches. More experienced contestants can use this implant to control jungle
animals around them and summon packs of squirrels from the trees to fight on their behalf.13)
LITTLEHEAD(TM), BY SMARTYPANTS(TM) (Littlehead)
: This one goes in your pubic area! It helps you be smarter. It gives you a boost in experience
points that you use to level up.14)
BLOCKHEAD(TM) REVISION 2 (Blockhead): Makes building things that much easier for you. Want a house? It'll take 30% work with this implant![Citation needed]
TESLA FRAME (Tesla Frame)
: Based on the theories of noted 'mad scientist
' Nikola Tesla,15)
the creator of alternating electric current, this implant offers a particularly devastating attack. It is implanted under the contestant's skin, with hundreds of little metal spikes protruding from the epidermis about an inch apart. Yes, the contestant resembles Pinhead from a certain movie franchise,16)
but it produces a series of powerful electric zaps that can render an opponent slightly crispy.17)
: This 'implant' is actually a shard from the Improbability Drive
that got caught in your head the last time you destroyed it. The shard provides several effects which have been poorly documented as yet19)
but are believed to be similar to the improbable magical
effects used by Jokers
: FEET REPLACED WITH WHEELS.20)
Keep a piece of lead pipe on your person at all times.
If your implant shorts out, you're doomed. You are therefore advised to avoid bathing at all costs.
More specific descriptions can be found in the catalogs inside the Implant Hut.
FEET REPLACED WITH WHEELS.