From The Improbable Island Contestant's Survival Guide, Season 2 Edition.
Your implant is that big, boxy thing built onto the side of your head.1) It provides you with additional capabilities - and you're definitely going to need those on the Island.
New contestants ('newbies') can request one of two types of implants:
StimExcel (TM) Neural Enhancement Rig (Chemical Pack)
: An implant that injects chemicals into the contestant's bloodstream for various affects - stronger attack, stronger defense, or regeneration.2)
SpaceRace (TM) Neural Implant (Spatial Awareness)
: This implant enhances the contestant's senses, allowing improved searches for requisition coins and cigs
after a fight. More experienced contestants can employ it for enhanced physical effects.
Rumor has it that after killing the Improbability Drive twice, the contestant will be offered a choice of additional types of implants, and more implant types become available as the number of drive kills increases. At this time, the following implants are rumored to be available for more experienced contestants:
UltraZap (TM) Compact Deterrent Unit (Skull-Mounted Laser): An implant that fires an energy beam that can be used to aid in targeting or to burn an opponent to a crisp from a safe distance away. It can also burn the heck out of the newbie, though, so it should be used with caution.
MightyMito (TM) Neural Implant (Mitochondrial Acceleration)
: This implant will allow the contestant to exert cellular-level bodily control. It can be used to grow a spontaneous mustache,3)
make one's hide tougher, or accelerate cellular regeneration.
PherLure (TM) Pheromone Injections (Pheromone Injection Pack)
: Need more charm? This pack is just the ticket. It increases the contestant's pheromone production, causing a number of distracting emotional reactions in opponents.4)
It temporarily gives the contestant a number of Kittymorph
-like advantages in a fight.
Hurr (TM) Spinal Implant (Servo Arms)
: Unlike the other skull-based implants, this one is bolted onto the contestant's spine. It adds an additional set of mechanical arms that can be used for offensive or defensive maneuvers.5)
TeleSwift (TM) Neural Implant (Telekinesis)
: This particularly useful implant allows the contestant to perform mind-over-matter feats, ranging from low-level stunts like deflecting damage, to paralyzing an opponent, to causing an opponent to explode into flames.6)
PathComms (TM) Neural Implant (Telepathy)
: This implant can be used to toy with an opponent's mind, from causing pangs of guilt, to agonizing headaches. More experienced contestants can use this implant to control jungle
animals around them and summon packs of squirrels from the trees to fight on their behalf.7)
TeslaFrame (TM) Epidermal Implant (Tesla Frame)
: Based on the theories of noted 'mad scientist
' Nikola Tesla,8)
the creator of alternating electric current, this implant offers a particularly devastating attack. It is implanted under the contestant's skin, with hundreds of little metal spikes protruding from the epidermis about an inch apart. Yes, the contestant resembles Pinhead from a certain movie franchise,9)
but it produces a series of powerful electric zaps that can render an opponent slightly crispy.10)
: This 'implant' is actually a shard from the Improbability Drive
that got caught in your head the last time you destroyed it. The shard provides several effects which have been poorly documented as yet11)
but are believed to be similar to the improbable magical
effects used by Jokers
Keep a piece of lead pipe on your person at all times.
If your implant shorts out, you're doomed. You are therefore advised to avoid bathing at all costs.