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KittyMorphs

General Description

Nobody on the Island knows whether the citizens of Kittania are technically called "KittyMorphs", "KittyMophrs", "KittyMoprhs", "KittyMorfs", "PowerRangers KittyMorphers", or "Power-Ranger KittyThunders".1)

Freakishly adorable2)3), KittyMorphs are part cat, part Human, and part fine wine. Their existence on the Island is sometimes sullenly called obligatory, as certain test audiences responded with overwhelming enthusiasm when the show was in the pilot4). The usual naysayers are Midgets and Mutants, likely jealous of the Watcher's capricious love for the KittyMorphs, leading to shorter FailBoat times.

Skills and Tactics

Physically, KittyMorphs have some advantages and small disadvantages for fighting. Their sharp claws help them fight monsters, although their slender physique leaves them slightly vulnerable to attacks. KittyMorphs dislike the distraction of clothes, so they're often seen fightin' naked. If they do, they distract their opponents, about equal to a decent set of armour. This makes for great television. Since talk is cheap 5), KittyMorphs are proficient in Classy and Confusing Insults.6) Because of their disinterest in fighting and easily distracted nature, KittyMorphs have greater Stamina costs for Hunting, Running Away, Fighting, and Taking It on the Chin. They're good cooks, and like to saunter around the Island.

Other Characteristics

KittyMorphs are terminally distractable and phenomenally lazy.7) Many seem to share a certain predilection for entertainment and chaos with the Jokers, and again like the Jokers, most are jackshit8) insane9) Overall, their naked performance and generally cuddly appearance makes them good for ratings.10)

1 cat year = 7 human years, and 1 Island year = 6 real life years, so 1 KittyMorph year = 42 real human years. That's science.11)

1) For your consideration, none of the words can sneak by a spellchecker. But neither can the word "spellchecker"
2) Adorably freakish, if you prefer
3) Siamese if you don't please
4) An unusual number of these focus group participants had Cheetos-stained fingers and an awkward command of pidgin Japanese. You decide what that means.
5) and easy
6) Many are also proficient in nose-scratching. But it doesn't require any "Real" amount of stamina.
7) Most die of it within three months.
8) technical term
9) We are NOT. We can see the invisible!!! THE INVISIBLE!!! IT'S EVERYWHERRRRRRE!!!
10) Hug me.
11) Note also that the flame that burns 42 times as bright burns 1/42 times as long.
 
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kittymorph.txt · Last modified: 2017/02/11 01:24 by Full Metal Lion