Enquirer Home Page | Twitter | Back to Improbable Island

Below is the original biography for Kolojang before the character was killed and replaced by silly patches of mushrooms.

As you travel between outposts, you come close to a clearing in the jungle. Voices can be heard from dozens of feet away. Deciding that prudence is well-advised on the Island, you sneak closer to make out what the voices are saying.

"...know how much I hate doing these things. Non non non I tell you, I won't do it."

"But! I..."

"And you fuckin know what I'm going to say anyway. It's going to sound like "Oh Ko, he's such a nice guy and bla bla bla. He's kind and likes to help, always volunteering it when in need, and sometime when it's not. Likes new friends, yadi yada," you know, that kind of shit." Judging by the low voices, it seems to be two young men arguing. They both have a peculiar accent that you can't quite pin down.

"Oooh, is that what you think of m..."

"Except when he's NOT! He's crazy en calisse you wouldn't believe it. Full of phobias and ticks; his mind going right and left at the drop of a hat." There is a brief pause in which you can hear twigs snapping, as if someone is pacing around in the clearing ahead.

"Is that what you really think of me? You make me so sad." Soft cries come through the foliage. Then cries (the other kind, not so soft) "But you made me tabarnak! What kind of sick joke is this? Hahahahaha jokes. Joker. Jokers! Aaaaah!"

"You see, this is why nobody likes you. I'm going." You hear angry steps coming toward you. You crouch low to hide and try to spot anyone coming.

"But wait," the voice seems a little closer, "You didn't tell me what you were going to write for the physical description, and also a little bit about my past.."

"Ah fuck that, you know what you look like. And if people want to know, they can just ask you." A few steps can be heard, going back to the clearing. After a few clangs, as if someone is rummaging trough a backpack, there is silence. You decide to get closer to investigate. In the middle of the clearing you see a tall man with broad shoulders. At least he and they would be if he wasn't hunched over a bag on the ground, busy rummaging through it. He has long dreaded brown hair going to his waist and a semi-kept beard. Two little hand-carved wooden Nintendo tm Mario Bros. (C) Mushrooms, one green and one red, can be seen in his hair.

"Hum, hello," you say timidly.

Seeing your weapon, he quickly gets up and runs toward the trees. A low hanging branch hits him smack in the face and he falls unconscious to the ground.

This is going to leave a nasty bruise. You have defeated Unstable Kolojang! An I.O.U. from the Watcher for 1000 req is dispensed from the nearest camera! ***Because of the simplistic nature of this fight, you are penalized 100 experience! (100-100=0) You receive 0 total experience!


As a midget, he stands about 3 feet. His dreads are the same lenght as when he's human, so they trail on the ground when he walks. His beard his out of control, making him look like the bastard child of Cousin Itt and a testicle. Disclaimer: if midget Ko said or did something that offended you, he doesn't care. His narrator on the other hand, does. So sorry and please, don't take anything I say seriously.

As a zombie, Ko is pretty much the same. He's one of those dessicated zombie, slowly falling apart. He only has three dreads left, the rest of his scalp having fallen off. There is also a big hole in his throat. Most of it is plugged with coagulated blood but sometimes, tentacle like blue tendrils can be seen squirming in it.

Ko makes for a really boring robot. He has the standard issue metal and glass frame. To make up for this, he walks around with a cheesy 1950' scifi robot costume: two cardboard boxes, one for the body and one for the head, and dryer hosing for his legs and arms. Two mushrooms are etches on his actual chest plate, one red and one green.

Mutant Ko is mostly like normal Ko. Other than the fact that he is much taller (8 feet at least) and much heavier. He's a huge mountain of muscles but the drive seems to have taken all that uprgrade in physical strenght from his mind: he barely have enough wits left to form basic sentences.

Human Ko and Joker Ko are physically pretty much the same. He does dress a bit differently. He wears an old black top hat, a purplish green coat, black pants, white leather shoes and gloves. The wooden mushrooms in his hair glow when he uses improbability. He's not scared of Jokers anymore, but still frowns on cards, favoring dice instead.

Powers Ko is very talented in one thing: illusions. He creates dice with increasingly more faces when he needs to make more potent effects. Other than that though, he's pretty much useless for doing anything tangible.

Miscellaneous Time Zone of A Little Less Crazy Entity - Eastern Daylight Time (GMT -4)

Tattoo: symbol. It's the greek letter phi in lowercase. He has it on his heart.

Barrel: He shares his barrel with Katt. They actually added a crate to it, making it a little home. The barrel is on the side and connected to the side of a big crate. A little door made from the barrel bottom is fixed to the entrance, on top of wich a sign reads: "Katt's and Ko's barrel. Welcome, or not." There is also a mailbox made from wood and a metal plate with a picture of human Ko and mutant Katt on it. *The barrel is now shattered. It's remaining pieces hidden deep into the Institute.

Logged in as: Guest (Guest)
kolojang_legacy_bio.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)