Enquirer Home Page | Twitter | Back to Improbable Island
 

Improbable Island does a competition every month or so (well, has done for the past two months anyway). Each month, the task of the viewers is to pervert the contest in some way, so that it turns into a competition of who can cheat in the most obvious and brazen manner. As there is no apparrent penalty for such cheating it is widely accepted that cheaters always prosper. It is worth noting that all entrants will be labelled CHEATING BASTARDS regardless of their relative innocence.

The bizarre thing is, this page doesn't actually contain any lies just yet. Truth is sometimes more ridiculous than fiction.

Here are the contests thus far:

April 2008 - The Glory Contest

Glory was a stat created by The Watcher which depended largely on how injured a contestant could get and still keep on fighting. Caveman Joe created the stat with a rough number in mind - 'If any player gets above about 900 million,' he thought, 'then I should probably keep a close eye on them.'

Due to a rip in the fabric of time and space, most contestants managed to cheat the Glory competition by going back and forth over the same square in the World Map, killing the same poor creature over and over again and amassing vast amounts of Glory. 1)

Rhiannon managed to cheat the most, gathering a thoroughly outrageous 227 BILLION Glory Points, and was awarded a favour from The Watcher. So far, the favour hasn't been carried out, as The Watcher is a lazy bitch sometimes.

After noticing how much cheating was going on, The Watcher publicly accused the entire Island of cheating. A grand total of six contestants protested this accusation, while the other sixteen-hundred-odd shuffled their feet and looked sheepish. 2)

The glory statistic has since been reset, and rather quickly, the Count of S-G gathered 4 billion points. He was passed up by JtPN with 6 billion. More recently, Count of S-G passed up JtPN again with 6 billion and a couple million more then JtPN's score. Are they cheating? The world may never know.

May 2008 - The Robot Contest

See the Entries and Read about the winners!

In early May, Caveman Joe thought it would be a good idea to ask the Islanders to dress up like Robots using tinfoil, pots and pans, cardboard boxes and such, and post pictures to the Enquirer, promising to install Geeklog's Media Gallery plugin over the next day or two. A mere two and a half weeks later the plugin was installed, and pictures started dribbling in. At the time of writing, nearly all of the pictures are PhotoShopped 3) or otherwise cheated on somehow, and one of them is a picture of a pirate 4), not a robot5).

So far, only two entries are actually acceptable: Kbman's and Truly's. Every other entry was either completely photoshopped, mostly photoshopped, not the actual contestant, or they forgot to hold a sign with their name on it.6)

We will see how this contest goes.7)

Truly won the contest, with KBMan as first runner up, and Plaigan as second runner up, with honorable mentions going to Haley, Cookie Crumbs and Snickerer.

October 2008 - The NewHome is for Noobs song Contest (aka, the Drunken Karaoke Contest)

Listen to the Songs!

Caveman Joe offered 10,000 Donor Points to the best singer of the NewHome is Full of Noobs song. Max Dougwell submitted the first song, which was a very good robot impression.8) Icterid followed by submitting two songs,9) one of which wasn't about NewHome. Sherpa Mountain Goat Guy uploaded a song that didn't work10) (he uploaded a working version later on), followed by another song from Icterid.11) Sessine submitted a wordless song,12) and then submitted one with words.13) Zolotisty uploaded a wonderful Shatner-inspired version,14) and then Sessine submitted a mixed15) version of his original two songs. The Count of Saint Germain uploaded a song at the last possible minute, but it turned out to not contain anything at all.16)

Unknown as to who won.17)18)

October 2008 - The Glory Contest, take 2

A separate Tournament Server was set up, with some Severe Restrictions in place. Contestants were again asked to gather as much glory as possible within one month. By the end of the month, only a handful of contestants were left playing on the server, apparently because it was really hard. Twig won the contest, and the 10,000 Donor Point reward, with over three times the amount of glory as anyone else, making Twig, naturally, a cheating bastard.

Contestants were not required to use their main character's name, and so far we have not found out who Twig actually is.19)

November 2008 - The Halloween Costume Contest

See the Costumes!

Caveman Joe offered 1000 Donor Points to whomever submitted the best Halloween Costume by November 1. He was met with an overwhelming submission of one photo, by Enada20). After November 1, other contestants (Cheshire Cat, YurianStonebow, and Skidge21)) submitted photos as well.22)23)24)25)26)

PROJECT ABOMINATION

That Contest When Emily Asked Us to Name Pubs

Random Heart

Cards on the Table

Our Very Own Star

Graffiti in the Stations

1) Bug or cheat? The world may never know.
2) One or two others were oblivious to the whole thing, of course, and were lumped in with the cheaters. They didn't notice that, either.
3) That's permitted, right? NO!
4) Not a ninja.
5) Also not a ninja
6) Of course, Joe admitted this is now a CHEATING BASTARD contest, which means those two may be disqualified for NOT cheating!
7) Badly, we expect.
8) cheater
9) cheater!
10) cheater!!!
11) will he ever stop?
12) except for the voice-over refrain by multiple contestants, stolen from the Network soundtrack - another clear case of cheating!!!
13) Even more cheating! He obviously just recorded this one on the sly in NewHome.
14) cheater!! oh no, wait . . . nevermind.
15) mixed by Icterid in a blatant attempt to work all the angles and corner the prize by being an Actual Musician.
16) cheater!!!!
17) It's probably Icterid, who cheated by submitting a song worth listening to.
18) although it was neither drunken, nor karaoke, and after all this was a Drunken Karaoke contest . . .
19) other than a cheating bastard.
20) What? Nobody claims I was cheating?
21) look, she was busy, all RIGHT??!!
22) none of whom loaded the photo into the correct album.
23) Are you sure they uploaded them into the wrong album? Maybe they meant to post Halloween photos in the Drunken Karaoke contest.
24) Skidge would like it to be known that the correct album wouldn't take her pictures, and has decided that that was because she was Obviously Too Scary.
25) Enada would also like it to be known that it wouldn't take her picture either, maybe because it feared the sharp objects?
26) Maybe the October Contest Album went mad with power and murdered the other album that was trying to make a name for itself.
 
Logged in as: Guest (Guest)
monthly_competitions.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)