Enquirer Home Page | Twitter | Back to Improbable Island
 

Pyromaniac Isaac

So. You want to know about Pyromaniac Isaac, hmm?

Well, then. Let's begin at the beginning1)2).

Early Life

Before he arrived on the Island, Pyromaniac Isaac was a stuntman. He did a great many stupid and completely ridiculous things3)4)5)6)7).

Due to his numerous head injuries as a result of his actions, he doesn't remember very much else.

Just Before His Arrival

One day, after his girlfriend was raped and murdered, his house burned down, and he got fired, he was mugged in an alleyway as he took a shortcut to a hotel. These muggers were Network personnel. They knocked him out, dragged him to the Island by speedboat, and dumped him on the shore.

On the Island

On the Island, Isaac first interacted with Ihpkmn, whom he thought was wearing a Cthulhu mask8). After screaming his head off and knocking himself out9), Isaac came to terms with the insanity of the Island.

Recently, however, he has noticed that he has become immune to being burned, and has tested his theory multiple times by setting his hands on fire deliberately. Having proven himself correct, he is determined to learn to become a pyromancer.

That was a long time ago. Since then, he's been infected10), defected11), fell in love12)13), founded the League of Unpopular Superheroes14)15), got possessed by Lythar16), unpossessed by Lythar, got the shit cut17) out of him by Hank in a war of Gods18), became a ghost after dying, unbecame a ghost19)20), and had some normal times with Heather for a while.

Then he proposed21), they had a wedding22), became a woman23)24), unbecame a woman...and is having good times with his 'froker25) wife.

1) It's a wonderful place to start.
2) Shut it, you!
3) Setting himself on fire
4) Shoving his own head into a toilet
5) Deliberately crashing a car into a solid concrete wall at 88 MPH
6) Jumping off of a ten-story building
7) Jumping off the building five times in a row didn't help either
8) It's his face
9) Again.
10) By a parasite.
11) By a Hank.
12) With Heather.
13) AKA Hamster Ninja
14) Or other random L.O.U.S.
15) Don't ask.
16) Shoot me if I'm wrong.
17) Yes, cut.
18) Not quite.
19) He does this a lot.
20) And also thanks to Hank
21) Quite unexpectedly.
22) Which got blown up.
23) Heather's fault.
24) Also? A really hot woman...
25) Joker with a bigass 'fro.
 
Logged in as: Guest (Guest)
pyromaniac_isaac.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)