(Back to Chapter Index)
(Back to Previous Chapter)
Training The Boards
Skirling Skidge dashes out of the Bingo Hall, crash helmet strapped on tight, skateboard (which she has decided to call Leonard) under one arm. She pauses, turns. Why is everyone else so sloooooow.
Traveler Naimad walks into town, wiping a bit of red-tinted water off his arm. He heads for the nearest bench.
calliaphone stumbletripcrashfalls in through the gate, dropping her skateboard. man, she's not even got on it yet and she's face down in the dirt.
Traveler Naimad looks at the falling person as he sits down.
Skirling Skidge hophophops. "Skateboard skateboard skateboard," she circles excitedly, then dashes to help Callia to her feet again, "skateboard-skateboard-skateboard howzit work."
Skirling Skidge drops her skateboard to the ground and kicks it gently. Leonard rolls away, equally gently. "That is how it goes but how do you go with you onnit."
calliaphone has no idea, really. She says, not wanting to admit it, "so, you see, it's all about momentous. you get on it, and tell it giddyup. thasshow."
calliaphone waves to Naimad, as Skidge helps her up. She puts her board on the ground. "staaaay," she tells it. it stays. she beams at Skidge. "see?"
Skirling Skidge perks. "Oh!" She takes a running leap onto the skateboard!
Traveler Naimad watches the wannabe-skateboarders, a faint smile on his face.
calliaphone blinks, watching the runningleap! "uhh. . ." momentous . . . it's a tricky thing. this she knows.
Skirling Skidge takes a skidding fall onto her back! Leonard escapes.
Skirling Skidge complains, "Mine is not obedient. Leonard! Come back, Leonard!" Leonard stays where he is, looking innocently skateboardy.
Totally 80s Kat g_rock steps in, then jumps back out of Skidge's way. He sneers his way over to sit under the eaves of the PSK, loitering to make a statement. Sticking it to the man, he is!
calliaphone tsks. "we should've bought good-boy drops. hangon" she digs in her pack for some WD40 and offers it to Skidge. "most rolly things like this."
Skirling Skidge takes the WD40 and creeps towards Leonard, cooing something creakish that she assumes is skateboard language. Leonard seems disoblidged to run away again, but just in case. . .
Skirling Skidge pounces!
Skirling Skidge lands!
Skirling Skidge is rolling! If she scootches. Scootch. Scootch, scootch. She does not look at all like a turtle.
calliaphone watches, and attempts to mimic. She places her board on the ground, and hushes it, then takes a pace back.
calliaphone misses. by a coupla yards.
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane ambles into town, pausing with interest at the goings on. . .
calliaphone says "dhouf."
Skirling Skidge comments, "This does not look at all like a thing that a Dex would like," scootch, scootch, scootch, "it is too slow."
Skirling Skidge is already a committed Hedgehoggist, but she pats Trey's foot in passing in a manner decidedly friendly. Or perhaps she's just trying to maneuver.
calliaphone rolls over, and looks for her skateboard. it has not moved an inch. "hrmm" she says. "they're sneaky li'l buggers ain't they." hands'n'knees, she crawls towards hers.
Totally 80s Kat g_rock pulls out his keytar and warms up on it. Awkward instrument, but he can bloody well rock out on anything.
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane heads over to give Callia a hand as best he can. "Having fun?" he asks cheekily
Skirling Skidge oonches and inches and scoonches. "Hyahs," she whoomphs, then rolls off of the skateboard to stare at it suspiciously. Surfing was not like this.
calliaphone grins at Wongo. "h'llo there! me'n'Skidge are training these boards."
Skirling Skidge heaves up to sit on the fountain and drops her feet to Leonard. Roll, roll, back and forth, thok thok against the fountain.
Zolotisty troops out of an alleyway with Dex in tow. She drops her skateboard, pauses to marvel at the NOISINESS of it, then shoves it experimentally with her foot. Ouh.
calliaphone hears music! She looks to her IDOL, hopefully. "gonnagiveusaTUNE G?"
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane raises an eyebrow. "Not going well I take it?"
calliaphone is affronted. "i'll have you know, it's goin' very well indeed!" she says, foot-starting to tap jus' a little at the thought of music. "i only cut one foot off a chair by mistake so far"
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane nods, suppressing a chuckle.
Skirling Skidge squints to Callia scoonching, then to Z. "Watch OUT Z it will ESCAPE if you LET IT."
Skirling Skidge's can't escape! Because she has her feets on it, see.
calliaphone's can't either,'cause she's holding it in both hands. Quite how to go from this to riding it . . . she's yet to figure.
Totally 80s Kat g_rock nods "Any requests?"
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane looks around, but there doesn't seem to be a spare.
There are too extras! Look, rolling out of Callia's backpack. . .
Zolotisty is playing football with her skateboard. She lopes alongside it.
spandex grins at the scene in the square, sets down her board, steps on the front with her right foot, pushes twice with her left."Like that, Twist, see but I ride goofy," she says, rolling slowly.
Skirling Skidge gets an idea! She snatches up her skateboard and vanishes off into Sheila's, from which the sounds of affable haggling drift moments later.
Rookie Kidia says "Hi dos anyone have beer?"
Skirling Skidge does not need beer, she has a skateboard! See, there she is, coming out of Sheila's, with her skateboard. . .on a leash.
Skirling Skidge tugtugs on the leash with a "Here, boy! Over here, who's a good boyyyy. . ."
Rookie Kidia says "Whyyyyyyy is your skateboard on a leash?"
Totally 80s Kat g_rock offers Kidia his flask "Nah, sorry love, just bourbon."
Skirling Skidge replies solemnly, "To keep it from escaping."
calliaphone would pretty much go with any music, although her special favorites are more commonly played on accordion than keytar. "uhh, you know th'Bombasto March?"
Rookie Kidia drinks the bourbon with hope of what beer dos
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane points Kidia in the direction of the pub, the Prancing Spiderkitty, in the western quadrant.
Rookie Kidia berps a 10ft tall flame!"Wow, borubon works beter than beer!"
calliaphone, in the absence of any external source of music, starts whistling the Bombasto March to herself, to give her courage. And, skateboard firmly in her hands, takes a running jump.
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane jumps back hurriedly out of the way of the pillar of fire, and starts beating at the hem of his sleeve where he wasn't quite fast enough. "Wow! Careful with that thing!"
Zolotisty turns her head to eye the leash and trips over the skateboard with a hwufh. She staggerboundhops and keeps herself from falling forward and barking her palms, then wheels to EYE the board.
calliaphone lands, hands first on the board. And rolls. Oh she's got it, she's got the stance, the balance, everything. Except, she's inverted. "yeeps"
Skirling Skidge looks to Dex, then puts both feet on Leonard, converting leash to handle. She stands, board wavering slightly."Gidyap," she says experimentally. Nothing.
spandex pushes off a few more times to gain some speed. She's a bit wobbly at first, and the boards shoots out from underneath her as she tries a turn, but soon it's like old times.ÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢cept no mall cops.
Traveler Naimad hrms at the flame-burping rookie, and goes back to watching the skateboarders.
calliaphone is skateboarding, she truly is! who cares that she's upside down, she's more stable like that anyway. only thing is, "howd'iSTOP?" the fountain loooms.
Totally 80s Kat g_rock nods, duly impressed. "Almost as good as Gene Simmons at the MTV afterparty." he starts in on the opening to Rebel Yell
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane spots Callia just that little bit too late. He dashes towards the fountain, knowing how well Callia and water mix. . .
Skirling Skidge ohs at Dex. One foot comes down and twomps the ground carefully. The skateboard goes forward. Skidge wavers, almost stumbles, manages to stay on. "I did it!" she cheers when it stops.
spandex's attention snaps back, and is off her board and hovering over Z. "You too, helmet. Git!" She jabs a finger in the direction of Sheila's.
Rookie Kidia runs to the pub and quickly returns with a cart full of bourbon and beer
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane won't get there in time, but he can still help. . .
Skirling Skidge's skateboard escapes again. Thwud, says her head to the ground.
calliaphone yells obligingly as her brakes fail and she separates from the board . . . to land with a splooosh in the fountain. "WARGLBLURGL. . .."
Zolotisty shies away. "Git what? What!" She slinks guiltily toward Sheila's.
calliaphone is at least wearing that buoyancy vest, so drowning is not an immediate risk.
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane spots the buoyancy vest. Good, no drownings today. He offers her a hand out.
Rookie Kidia begins chuging all the bourbon and beer in the cart
spandex is then sprinting to callia. "Skooch maybe you need a helmet too or ..I donno.." A sigh. When did she become such a bloody mother hen?
Skirling Skidge practices safe skating!
Rookie Kidia feels funny as she feel a build up of presher in her gut, the problem is it is alot lower than it usualy is when she burps fire. . .
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane is glad he's now nowhere near Kidia, and close to a source of water. . .
Totally 80s Kat g_rock steps to one side slightly
Rookie Kidia stands up and bends over to try to aleviat the preser inadvertantly pointing her posterier at the fountan
calliaphone is assisted out of the fountain. "thanks Wongo" a quick hug of thanks, and she's dripping back onto her board. "you skating too?"
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane looks up at the clock. Then longingly at the skateboards poking out of her pack. Then back at the clock. "Afraid I can't stay. But thanks for the offer, maybe some other time. . ."
Rookie Kidia uleshes an 380 ft long 13ft tall jet of flam from her but that is heding for the fountan at the speed of improbablity!
calliaphone is sad to hear it. "definitely another time" she tells him, firmly. then puts her foot down, just as firmly, on her board.
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane reacts almost pre-emptively, slinging his cloak over himself and Callia. Somehow, it seems to be fireproof. . .
Traveler Naimad points one hand at the fountain and makes a little motion which sends water surging out and around the pople in the fire's path.
Rookie Kidia says "Sorry usualy the flame comes out my mouth, I dont know why. . . "
Skirling Skidge has sort-of, kind-of gotten the hang of it, and thonkita-glides across the pebbles, iffy, so iffy.
spandex scowls icily at the flame-belching giantess with big boobs. It's like the fantasy of a twelve year old boy! Actually, maybe it is .. she looks around for one.
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane splutters a little. That one he didn't see coming. He wipes the water from his eyes, and turns back to Callia, pulling a towel for her from his hat.
Skirling Skidge calls, "Dex, lookit me, lookit me, lookit. . ." Wobble, stumble, crash. Gone.
Traveler Naimad drops his hand as the flame dissipate. The water falls soon after.
calliaphone doesn't make any remarks about talking through one's ass, and hugs Wongo again. Then, an unwary step with her back foot and she's ROLLING "WAAAUGHHH"
Grand Master Badass of Fury Wongo the Sane looks at the clock again. He really must be going. He gives Callia a parting hug, and waves to everyone else, before heading for the North gate.
calliaphone flails, arms windmilling, but feet surprisingly steady on that board. Out of the gate and into the jungle.
Totally 80s Kat g_rock enghs and follows Callia out, hedgehogs only know how she'll defend herself on that thing. . .
Traveler Naimad stands up and makes his way out the gates.
spandexÃƒÂ¢Ã¢â€šÂ¬Ã¢â€žÂ¢s humor returns, whoops a cheer for callia's Skids' successes, and rides over to Sheila's, where she kicks up her board and shoves through the door. "Twisty?.. You find a. . ."
Major Saber walks in the outpost. He passes by several mutants, doing the best he can to nod politely to whatever appendage most resembles a head. Sometimes he nods twice to one individual, just to be sure.
Skirling Skidge is midstumble, crash to a heap of limbs and skateboard into a puddle of slime. Spluckh! Leonard the skateboard skitters away, free, free at last.
Major Saber pulls out his tiny red ball, neglecting the small metal pieces that usually go with it. He bounces it off the ground.Thock! Thock! Thocksplat!
Major Saber stoops down to pick up his slimy red ball. "Yeuch. This was a bad idea."
Skirling Skidge heaves stubbornly out of the puddle to pull Leonard to her again. If Dex can do it, she can do it, and there's nothing more to say about that.
calliaphone skates into town. this is what we call it when she hasn't crashed yet.
Skirling Skidge wipes mudslime out of her eyes, then hollers, "SABER!" Surely he will know! "Saber, make this thing WORK!"
calliaphone crashes into the dustbins beside Mutated Munchies. This is what we call it when she still hasn't figured out how to brake the thing.
Major Saber cleans the slime off his tiny red ball and puts the ball back in his backpack. Best to stick with jacks, he supposes. Some noise attracts his attention.
Major Saber walks over to Skidge. "Make what work? What's that? It looks vaguely sinister, what with the wheels and all." Saber is not sure about wheels. Some of them can be quite tricky.
Skirling Skidge strides forth, waving the skateboard like a particularly vehicular form of protestor. (hell no, we won't go, wait our signs have wheels, yes we will. . .) "Saber it is a thing for falling down!"
Major Saber nods. "I can see that." Saber had always wondered how Skidge got so many odd bumps and bruises. She has a thing for falling down, it makses so much more sense now!
Skirling Skidge points to Callia! "SEE?! only Dex can make it go so I have to make it go, too!"
Major Saber raises his eyebrow. "So. Ah. It's supposed to do things between making you fall down?" Saber looks over at Callia. That looks like a rough landing. He winces slightly.
calliaphone emerges, dolefully, dustbin-lid on head. "why won't it STOP when i tell it to?"
Skirling Skidge slaps the board down onto the ground again. "Yes-see you do like this," one foot thumps to the board, "and then you push like this," she pushes, "and then it goes!"
Skirling Skidge's skateboard goes!
Skirling Skidge does not!
Major Saber nods. "Yes, that does present a challenge, doesn't it?" Saber chases down Leonard the Skateboard. He picks it up and has a look at the wheels. "Hmm."
Skirling Skidge will just stay here on the ground for awhile, until the pain stops and Saber tells her how to make it go.
Major Saber plants Leonard down after determining his wheels are not made of sinister. "Okay, so one foot on it like this." He plants his right foot on the board. "and push like.." Whud!
calliaphone, clambering out of the bins, and tugging her skateboard behind her, says "yeh, thassit, i did that. it's after that that there's trouble." she demonstrates, copying Saber.
Major Saber, from his new, grounded vantage point, shoots a look at both Skidge and Callia. "This.. so dex can do this and we all just fall down?"
Major Saber stands up. He is not one to be beaten by slightly-sinister wheels and a board of wood. He will get this! . . . . .Maybe.
calliaphone, skating straight towards Saber-and-Skidge-on-the-ground, says "eeep!" and discovers a whole new skill. turning. she can turn! still can't stop, but turning is good! she swerves around them.
Skirling Skidge frowns at the skateboard. "It is an evil magic."
Major Saber decides that effort of this magnitude requires a cigarette. He procures and lights one. "It seems to be. I blame the wheels." Saber nods, right blame, entirely wrong reason.
calliaphone still puzzling over the brakes thing, smells ciggie smoke, and is jealous. where are hers. hrmm, swerve, in a pocket some-swerve-where abouts, in this'n? swerve-arabesque. . .arabesque?
Skirling Skidge watches Callia carefully, then gets up again. If Dex can do it and Callia can do it, she can do it. She has to, before Z gets the hang of it too.
Major Saber watches Callia go. Considering he's only been able to put one foot on that board without falling, watching her turn is quite impressive! He applauds.
calliaphone, delicately balanced with a style more Barnum than Bolshoi, extricates a ciggie from her dungaree pocket. But oh dear, it's tricky to keep turning when you're on one leg.
Totally 80s Kat g_rock finally makes it to town, wiping gore from his instrument. Turns out Callia didn;t need protecting, G did.
Skirling Skidge gets right back onto the skateboard and pushes off, with perhaps more ambitioun than was needed. Kraketta-kraketta-spupbf! Into the Jungle!
Major Saber pushes Leonard over to Skidge. "Your turn again." He nods. He is far too proud to mention that he landed right on his tailbone and it huuuurrrrts.
Major Saber follows after Skidge shouting something about wheels and evil! "Waitaminute Skidge, that thing is still dangerous! Maybe we should replace the wheels, or draw smiles on them!"
Major Saber disappears into the jungle after Skidge. Someone has got to stop those wheels before they bruise a tailbone, or team up with The Drive!
calliaphone's fixed grin turns to a grimace of alarm as she sees someone black-leather-clad and white-t-shirted (and just a bit gore-spattered) looooom before her. "WATCHOUUUUT!" she tries, but too late.
Totally 80s Kat g_rock hrrrm?s and then is about to GAAAH, but instead THDDs
calliaphone "dhouffs" as she and the board impact into bleachy-G. Simultaneous winding, it would seem.
Unfairlady is rudely awaken. "Mnnghph. WhatThisRacketEh? Can't a poor old baglady have a..uhm..yes." she grins sheepishly and gets to her feet.
Totally 80s Kat g_rock extracts a skateboard from somewhere very unpleasant (underneath his lower back, of course) and nudges Callia-who-is-atop-him "Y'arright?"
calliaphone rolls clear and sits up, blinking. "i am, thanks for takin' up the impact. they oughta put brakes on these things i reckn." she eyes the gore-spatters. "uhh, did i break somethin?"
Unfairlady approaches and bends to peer at Gallia and the flash-flash-blind!-ing G. "What are you guys doin' there, mmm?"
Totally 80s Kat g_rock grins down at his shirt "Nah, love, I did all that on the way up here. And I thought fans in New Jersey were bad."
calliaphone jumps, clings, says "YIPES!" and pretends it was G who crashed the board.
Unfairlady un-bends "Whoo, whoo, easy, Callia. You don't wanna break sumptin', now do you? True, Mansion's close, I can take you there ta take care of ya, but better not, ok?"
calliaphone blinkblinks. She's not in trouble? No-one's calling any authorities? She peers. "UNFAIR! is that you?"
Unfairlady grins and crosses her arms "Yup, silly, who did ya think that was. Police? Hon', I'm the opposite, if I may say so myself. Had the police from a few different states and countries on my tail, once
Unfairlady sighs, almost wiping a tear from her eye. Oh, memories.
calliaphone hugs Unfair, and turns to G. "you know each other, right?" to Unfair, she whispers, "he's a rockstar!" she doesn't know what that is, but it keeps cake in its pocket and has a keytar.
Unfairlady regrets the lack of sunglasses as she approaches the dazzling G, hand outstretched. "Might be. Rock-star?AreYouRich?" The last words come in a gush, then a hand flies to her mouth.
Unfairlady fights to stop the first verse of spare some change from coming out. It comes, but muffled, a bit like this:"SprghSssmcgng?"
Totally 80s Kat g_rock takes Unfair's hand with a suggestive halfgrin "Nah, love, not rich. Just bloody famous."
Unfairlady shakeshakes, barely hiding her disappointment. "Uhm, nicetameetcha, but what's the good of bein' famous if you ain't rich? have the throngs of'em paparapas after ya, f'r nothin'? No moneys?"
calliaphone says, "i don't think G wears a thong, thassmorebernard'sthing."
calliaphone, it should be noted, has not checked. but she has instincts.
Totally 80s Kat g_rock stands and dusts himself off "It's not about the fame, or the fortune. Just trying to get my music out there. Say what needs to be said."
Unfairlady almost yelps and rubs at her eyes, trying to remove that image.
Unfairlady nods at G, accepts defeat and deflates. Hopes of getting rich by unlawful means disappear with the silent noise only crushed illusions make.
Unfairlady then recuperates, marvelously, striving to be civil (ized) once again "Ow, that sounds like one of them noble purpoises. Porpoises. Mnh. Purposes?"
calliaphone is gettin' sleepy. So much 'xcitement for one day. She curls up against a lamp-post, hugging her skateboard.
Unfairlady eyes callia and asks G. "Should we get her somewhere more comfy? I've got place close by, she's been staying at ours a few times."
Totally 80s Kat g_rock nods "Sounds like a plan. Where's your place?" he hooks one of her arms over his shoulder and hefts her
Unfairlady hooks on to the other side of Callia and tilts chin northeastwards. "Thattaway. Not far. Go on a bit, then again a bit more. Monsterous Moonshine Mansions. Can't miss it."
Unfairlady proceeds, taking a lead (of sorts). Shuffle, shuffle. Stumble. Save. Phew. look at them go!
Totally 80s Kat g_rock follows(ish)
(Forward to Next Chapter)
(Back to Previous Chapter)
(Back to Chapter Index)