A raggedy, half-burnt paper flutters in a breeze, results of a filing cabinet explosion somewhere on Main Street. Damn rats, scuttering in the pipes, eating all the cheese, blowing up all the filing cabinets. Bloody vermin. Whoever bought them the grenades has probably already learned to regret the decision.
The paper flutters to the ground, where its closely typed writing can finally be read:
She has claimed many last names and backgrounds since arriving on the Island: Spark Honkzoom, a breeder of professional racing geese; Spark McGee, a coffee barista; Courtney "Spark" Alvarez McSparkles Happy Princess Pony of the Staten Island Happy Princess Ponies, an heiress; and Spark of the Rift, a warrior princess from another universe, are but a small selection of the aliases used.
None of these are true, and she does not appear concerned with whether or not she is believed. Ask her for her story, and you will somehow, mysteriously, find yourself talking about your own instead. Something in the way she changes the subject makes it hard to realize that she's done so until well after the fact, and even then only if you pause to think about it.
However, should attention be paid, certain conclusions can be drawn from her behavior. Her respect of Midget ideaology and comfort levels regarding Squat Hole suggests an urban upbringing, her attitudes towards food hints at circumstances of extreme poverty, her easy thievery implies significant portions of time spent on the street, and as for her adamant refusal to be cornered or touched...
...Wherever she came from, it didn't treat her very well. Perhaps this is why she has fallen into Island life with such rapidity and confidence, although she still treats Jokers, whom she calls greeneyes, with open wariness.
Then again, she treats everyone with some level of discomfort. Her refusal to be touched, even casually, sets her apart from the others of her kind and occasionally results in awkward and vaguely hostile interactions with her fellow contestants. She has also been observed as behaving in a manner that suggests active dislike of any mention of family, friends or emotional entanglements.
Her interest in the stories of others is the only thing that deviates from her otherwise-established and obvious distrust of people. Upon encountering any new creature, regardless of species or creed, she promptly descends upon them with questions, and seems to accept whatever answers she gets in return. This has lead to several alliances that may prove to be of interest to this office. (Note: the word 'friendship' cannot be used in this context, as Spark to all observed accounts refuses to acknowledge them as such.)
One such alliance is the Joker known as Aloicious. Their relationship is a strange one, at times openly hostile, at times almost friendly. Efforts have been made to determine the precise motivations for these interactions, which appear to be based in the ongoing, episodic telling of a story (please see attached document, entitled Thief of Hearts).
At this time this office would like to mention that there are an unusual number of associations, that of Aloicious included, that circumstantially (and presumably coincidentally) connect Contestant Spark with another contestant, the long-lost and assumed-dead
The remainder of the page has been burnt off, and the rest of the report is nowhere to be seen.
Well, allrighty then. All your questions, they have been answered. If you even had any questions.
Which you didn't. Except, of course, for, "Who taught the rats to use grenades, anyway?"