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Sugar-Hi Unicorn 1) sigh. OKAY then, Shi 2)

The world according to Shi

firstly and mostly

some things that may be of use to know.

  1. Please don't mind Shi, she's almost entirely harmless
  2. Please mind the gaps.
  3. Please can we have your name? we promise not to lose it.

Sometimes these are things we remember

Sometimes they are not.

A very long time ago there was a house in Scotland and it was on fire. There were mountains but also a van waiting by the road. We liked the mountains better but all in all it wasn't such a bad thing. We still hate fire though.

Another useful thing

  1. Shi is not allowed to play with fire.
  2. On no accounts is Shi to be allowed alcohol.
And then.

I'm not mad, you know. They say I am, but have you ever met Mister Tyto?3) 4)He's mad. He'll steal your name.5) 6)But anyway, I am as sane as the next person. This is why I like to stand next to people who, for some reason, nobody else seems able to see. And Joey. I like to stand next to Joey.7) Not that that's any reflection on him. He's just a good leaning post.

Things are watching us.
What are these things?

They are not entirely 8) 9) 10) real. Well, only a bit. Sometimes. They are why we don't focus on people or make eye contact, or part of the reason. You mustn't hold their not-being-real against them. Shi isn't a real person either,11) and she does fine. apart from all the ways she isn't fine, but they're fine too.12)

For Instance

  1. the shadowy people, who just watch, and are not allowed to talk. if they talk everything is going wrong. but they are almost always there, because they are nosey buggers.
  2. the grey people, who we have only seen once, after a very bad thing. they wear baggy suits and masks like Mister Thor's, and they are also dead. In a good way. they smell of blue stuff.
  3. the salamanders who get everywhere, and argue philosophy and ethics loudly, filling up the corners.
  4. the owl people. One of whom is Mister Tyto.

another thing which may be of use

The owls will get you. Mister Tyto will steal your name.

Also

The Sky is not to be trusted.

People and Things

We like it here because other people can sometimes see the monsters. 13) There are many people and they almost all have names.

  • Smell of larksong,green
  • and sparkling. Red string around
  • his throat, and a bell.
  • the owl and pussy- 14)
  • -cat went to sea, in less than
  • 200 characters.

Also there was Arthur, who is an owl moth. He knew about tea and things. And Fish, who said he was a "patchwork reanimated salmon". There was Brian, too . . . 15)And the Lephant. And a frog called Larceny, and nobody knows what the hell happened to any of them. There are beetles, usually, especially in pockets. They leave footprints on the eyes. 16) all these are the wriggly people, and they tend to come and go as they please.

another sort of wriggly

Eels are terrifying. they hide in your shoes and eat you from the feet up. Never wear boots.

A Thing that Happened

His name is Lester, because no-one was quick enough to come up with a reason why Shi shouldn't name him. He doesn't look much like his mum, but he definitely has his dad's eyes. He likes steak, and chewing people's fingers, and exploring. here's a picture. Thanks of course go to those brave souls who helped stop anything overly Horrible from happening:

More things that have happened

  1. Ish Thinky and fun with Spare Parts
  2. the science of Dangerous Things
  3. remember when the mask stopped working?
  4. remember when the Sky stole her voice?

Look, look there it is, there.

If she's looking at something a little to the left of you, over your shoulder, then it's probably Shi. If her eyes don't focus, then it's possibly Shi 17)If it has feathers, or is in any way avian-looking, it's very likely her. A while back she was wandering around with the head of a nicobar pigeon. As her actual head, that is, not just under her arm or anything18). More recently, she was almost 19) an owl. This has caused some problems, but atleast she's learnt to whistle now. At present, though, she looks largely human, except for the fluorescent feathers studding her hair, and the mask, which Should Not Be Removed. Her pockets are perpetually filled with improbable and pointless things. Common items include beetles, stones with faces drawn on20), feathers, assorted teeth , which she claims to have "found", lengths of string, "spare parts", and sammiches of dubious providence.

Keeps on changing, wait, stoppit.

  1. there is a girl in the mirror and she stares at us and we do not like her.
  2. masks. so many masks.21)
  3. What is a stringbirdy?This is. But then, so is this.
  4. Warning, dangerous machinery.
  5. Hello, my name is STRAS, and I am Here to Help.
  6. Do you need spare parts? I can get you a lovely new spleen. Almost painless. Or how about an extra arm?

I just said that

If asked, she will say she is a bird, or a mimic. this may even be true. She will steal your words, and if she likes them she will keep them.23)

sharp things

somebody let Shi have a pair of scissors once, and it spiralled from there. pliers, scalpels, a victorian surgeon's kit. shards of broken glass, wire, fish-hooks, pen nibs. Claws. Please Mind the gap.

Scary Things (a very select list)

  • Fire
  • Unicorns
  • Swans No, wait, a different sort of bird altogether. Taller.
  • Eels
  • Any prolonged period without acces to caffeine or sugar, or atleast something blue to lick.
  • Miss Caelan

String theory

"...string theorysir. the more string there is, the more useful, and more useful is more Good and so string is proportionate to good."

The amount of...

...string = x ...useful = y ...(G/g)ood = z

m+x = m+y

m+y = m+z

x1 : z1

One box full of string equals Lotsandlots. And a half. We're not entirely sure how to measure Good, yet.

Does this make sense? ... Strangely, yes.

WRONG! You just don't know how express yourself! Try singing! Or two-column proofs! Let a positive change in the amount of...

...string = x ...useful = y ...(G/g)ood = z

The Pudding!
Statement Reason
x = y given
y = z given
x = z reflexive property of equality

QED

That's all for now. I'm tired. somebody else say something.

24) 25) 26)27)

  • Joey is really, really, amazed at having a reserved spot! And at being complimented as a leaning post. And, for being such a prominent feature on this page. It makes him28)29) 30) smile.
  • Sicpuess is partly responsible for the existence of yet another (species of) Fish. 31) 32)
  • You are warned of her coffee. At least, now you are.33)
  • A wonderfully kind, forgiving person, even if she can act a little oddly.
  • Harris knows Shi as a perfectly healthy little girl who has such an insatiable curiosity about her that she wants watching regularly, to keep her safe.34)
  • Undisputed best at poetry, ever. She seems to have a great taste in poems, and knows many off by heart.
  • Marly loves Shi's coffee. Best cup she's had on this Island.
  • Johnson thinks Shi is a sideways kind of genius. She also tries to feed Shi whenever she sees her, just in case. Who knows when the bird last ate? 35)36)
  • And then there is Lester.37)
  • Omega was never here. Certainly not to say anything about how she likes shadows. Or that some are friendly. Nooo.
  • Full Metal Lion watches while you sleep.38)
  • Makiwa could say that Shi takes her sugar with some coffee and is a pretty good dancer. But he's keeping that to himself.39)
  • 2 little whos40)41)
  • Farkas says "Shi is...selcouth. And she has a kalon that, while hard to see, is undeniably there."

(he and she) under are this wonderful tree

smiling stand (all realms of where and when beyond) now and here 42)

1) this is not my name. My name is Shi. I'm fairly sure about that.
2) thankyou.
3) of course you haven't, nobody else can see him.
4) although there was that one time . . .Cdin could....
5) that said, he's alright if you get to know him.
6) for a talk-to-the-dead, mask-made-of-fingernails, bonechilling-cry-in-the-dark-of-night, owl-demon kinda guy.
7) Lately not so much. It is hard to stand next to people who aren't there. But not impossible.
8) mostly
9) probably
10) sortof
11) we can smell ourselves being dead
12) isn't fine a versatile word? If by versatile you mean "it doesn't complain when grievously maltreated."
13) advice: People worry if you talk to the voices out loud.
14) *snigger*
15) I didn't eat him, I swear.
16) eyes in pocketsssss.
17) the island has quite a lot of means by which to unfocus your eyes, and mind, so this alone isn't such a good indicator.
18) though we wouldn't put it past her
19) but also emphatically not
20) one of which is a friend of trotsky
21) advice: Do not touch the mask. Ever.
22) Not an owl! it's lies and slander and vilest calumny!
23) We're looking into methods of stealing words back.
24) well, go on then. She did say you could.Come on, it's not like you could make issues any more nonsensical by adding to this mess.
25) or could you?
26) go on. We dare you.
27) B-but I've already been saying things!
28) or rather, his Puppetmaster,
29) Shi's puppet mistress is glad that her complete failure to get Shi to shut up about Joey for even one second is appreciated.
30) Shi is just generally happy. she found half a coookie in her pocket.
31) And may or may not be occasionally sneakily stalking Shi.
32) Or Arthur, actually? Who could tell. . .
33) WARNING: Shi's coffee may induce coma, type 7 diabetes, addiction, fits, starts, shakes, shivers, hallucinations, scurvy, toxic shock, electric shocks, attacks of spontaneous enlightenment, spontaneous combustion or spontaneous metamorphosis, and death. There. You have been warned.
34) Harris also knows that he is 200 years old, or thirty, or perhaps twelve, and probably does exist, so take that as you will.
35) This is not so useful now Shi is a robot.
36) And now that she isn't the more pressing question should perhaps be what she last ate.
37) . . . not that Shi's narrator in any way forgot to update this for a few months. Eheh.
38) Shi probably has been a pronoun before.
39) Oops!
40) who?
41) Whoooooooooo!
42) With all credit and apology to e.e. Cummings
 
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