Enquirer Home Page | Twitter | Back to Improbable Island

Teddy 'disappeared' and not longer is a contestant on the Island. Her presence lingers in the forms of Junior, and his relatives Kimiko and Minami Hanasaki. Consider all information on this page outdated, and proceed with caution.

Be warned

Teddy and her narrorator, like, never shut up.1) Seriously. They ramble on with unplanned thoughts that spill on forever and you're lucky to get a word in edgewise.2) Expect rambling here, and if you ever speak to her. Complex, barely comprehencible, poorly spelled, gramatically incorrect, chat-chat-chattyness. Not even kidding. You'll see.

What? Who now?

Ok, that's fair. You may not have even seen her yet. She's usually kinda unassuming on the outside, or vaguely curious looking at best. And honestly, maybe you should leave here now with the advice to stear clear of her. She tends to bring baggage, trouble, and general unplesantness where she goes.

Not leaving? Fair enough, she'd be happy to know you stayed. Don't blame me if you regret it though, she'll test your damn patients3).

Teddy Phoenix is the name she answers to, and she's known to some as The Teddybear of Death. That's a lofty, dramatic title that's a result of an anticlimactic little story though. She's typically not all that deadly4).

She is a young woman in her early twenties who was already a bit improbably unique before ever arriving on the island. She was born a typical human in a large city in the southwestern desert of the United States. Her family was working class, just barely scraping by, her whole life. That life was pretty uneventful, as well. She never really had a direction in her life, though she considered becoming an author of some kind if she could ever motivate herself to write down the elaborate and complex daydreams she had been entertaining for most of her life.

That's great. Are you done waxing nostalgic?

Yeah, yeah the past isn't so much as important as what effects her, and possibly you, in the present, yes? Well first you'd have to meet her, and to meet her, you'd have to be able to spot her. Then, you should be warned as to what you're in for if you try to strike up a conversation.

Physical Appearance(s)

Nearly all of her form retain bear-like qualities including her nose, teeth, and claws. She also wears red-rimmed glasses and a black baseball cap.


She came to the Island with pure, colorless white skin striped with black. Her slight bear-like features like her nose and a few sharp teeth accompany long black hair pulled into a braid and black eyes. She's rather short only standing 5 feet 2 inches and shaped like a butternut squash5). Believe it or not, this is her human form, and as 'normal' as anybody's seen her in years. Her human bio can be found here.


This form is as close as Teddy gets to a morph, and makes people laugh at her when she introduces herself6). She's covered in velvity soft dark brown fur, but still has hair, a long brown ponytail with three scrunchies to hold the frizzy mess in one mass. Her eyes are a chocolate brown even darker than her fur, and she has a full bear muzzle and teddybear ears. She's also gained a nubby cute tail and less cute strength and a grizzly roar. Read her Bearmorph bio here.

Teddybear Imp

Teddy's Impish form is a lot like her morph form. The difference is, she's shed several feet of height down to around 2 feet. She's also gained a pitchfork and a mischivous attitude. She seems to be more blunt and lacks some social graces in this form. Check out her awesome imp self, here.


When overwhlemed by negative emotions, Teddy spiritually 'died' and changed forms into a pained, wailing banshee. This grotesque version of her human body had empty eyesockets that bled tears of blood. It also featured a a gushing hole in her chest shaped like a heart. She was semi-translucent and 'bled' through solid objects. And boy could she scream! You can have a look, here.


Pandas are not techinically bears, but this bear can be a panda.. Robot. Her robot form has the typical glass, coated with a thin aluminum outershell that is black and white. LEDs are placed in her 'mouth' and 'eyes' to light up when she is functioning and speaking. Upon taking this form, her memories were stored improperly, and threatened to delete her entire memories and personality if not fixed! To fix it, Teddy has to have people who know her help her recall various information about her life so that she can store the information properly. Evaluate that data here.

General Personality

This is a hard one to explain, because her personality varies WILDLY to her mood. Oh, and believe you me, she's MOODY. She freely admits that she's one big contradiction7). Her skin is both black and white. Her demeanor is both nurturingly gentle and hatefully unforgiving. She is both powerful and helpless. So you never really know what you're going to get when you encounter her.

Generally speaking, she's typically very shy meeting new people or reluctant to tackle crowds and stick her neck out for something8). But once a conversation begins and the initial nerves wear off, she's usually friendly, curious and kind. She likes helping people and feeling useful since she really has no self-confidence or worth of her own. She's quick to make friends and values them dearly. The problem is, she is very fragile. She adhears to her own very strict code of honor and conduct and judges other people by it as well. Sometimes she'll take a lifetime's worth of teasing or being inconveinanced by someone she values as a good friend, then finally, one thing, maybe not even the worst thing they've ever done to her, will cross one of her lines and she'll snap. She will cut off all contact with that person and never let them back into hef life if possible, harshly unforgiving9) of those who do something to truely wound her.

This inability to forgive comes from her general trust issues10). She's horribly paranoid in a ridiculous amount of ways. Everything from germaphobia, a strange belief that she's due to contract tapeworms, a belief that there's constantly people that want to stalk her down and harm her, a fear of mosquitos and other biting bugs, and a general mistrust of people with the wrong starsign. Suffice to say, in Teddy's mind everything is out to get her. Her friends know this well.

That aside, she's a good listener and has no problem empathizing with people's troubles. Her advice in return is nearly always the safest, most logical11) choice she can think of. She will come to this conclusion often by sighting some wild and detailed ways things could go wrong otherwise. As if paranoia isn't enough she's also got a nasty temper, though she tends to recover suprisingly fast from an angry outburst of foul obscenities. It's all part of the moodswings.

Worse traits aside, she's not all bad. As mentioned above, she will always listen to your troubles, so long as you'll listen to hers when she's on a rant. She's inherantly very motherly and an endless worrier. If you're ever sick or injured, she'll probably be there to help nurse you back to health. If she can find a solution to more complicted island-style problems, she'll use whatever means she can to help with that too12). She values herself by the people she cares about, so she loves making them happy and keeping them well. She's got a decent sense of humor and tends to pay close attention to what people say, making her a decent gift-giver and generally prove she cares a lot. She has a strong sense of commitment and duty, always trying to help a friend in need and never go back on her word. Her worse traits tend to leave her isolated, as she would rather die miserable and alone with her pride than go back on her code of conduct when someone has upset her. This makes her a terribly lonely person, so she treasures what friends she has and clings to them as though her life depended on it13).

Happy Bear, Sad Bear

While her moods are powerful and shifting, there are certain ways to earn her favor, and particular ways to end any chance you had at friendship with her.

Some of her favorite things are chocolate14), stuffed animals, hugs, and a man named makiwa15)16).

You'd be wise not to break a promise made to her, harm or disrespect any of her friends, or leave her with mosquitos or onions. She also hates the cold terribly and can't seem to warm her body back up once she's become cold.

Why should I care about pissing her off?

Well, you'd don't HAVE to worry about it if you don't want to. She's not any more powerful or interesting than the average Island folk most of the time. But if you end up on her crap list, you'd be wise to avoid her Sanctuary. Somewhere, in the eastern regions of the Island she has her own dwelling. She has saturated this place in her own special energy. In this place and only this place, she is frighteningly powerful, able to summon inhuman minions and cause all manner of mayhem. The Memorial Sanctuary is dedicated to preserving not only her own memories, but the unforgettable thoughts of people the Island over. But it's also her home territory.

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Teddy's home was built after the cleaning robot STRAS was deactivated by ferryn to save the life of Shi among others17). STRAS had been Teddy's first friend on the Island along with Leporidae Menk, so watching her violently decapitated by Ferryn in a rage scarred her18).

The story takes turns from bad to worse and eventually leaves an emotionally crippled Teddy in a depressive spiral of hate and distrust. Makiwa eventually got her to confide in him though, and she revealed a plan to restore her sanity. She wanted to create a respectful memorial dedicted to the memory of her first two friends who kindly guided her into life on the Island.

A lot of help from Makiwa, who is a talented builder, lead to the creation of Teddy's home, The Memorial Sanctuary.

Treasurebox of Memories

Teddy found out by mistake that exposure to Improbablity on the Island was changing her at a rapid rate. It wasn't a bad thing though, the Drive's effects acctually seemed to compliment her, giving her a lot of useful skills. She essentially gained an Improbable link to the imginary world in her head, and was, also improbably, able to bring some of those things into the Island's reality.

The first skill Teddy discovered was the ability to crystalize strong memories by adding her energy to the emotions and thoughts. She did so by accident at first, preserving in a gem the memory of meeting STRAS and Menk on the Failboat while mourning the loss of both. This is what gave her the idea for a place to preserve and display memories, not just for herself, but for anyone who desired it. She thought it would give her a way to feel closure for the loss of her friends, and possibly be able to help others who's minds may be at the mercy of fickle memory and the Drive's regular erasures.

Makiwa liked her idea19) and put the majority of the effort forward to actually building the building. Teddy then used Improbability to infuse her own imaginary energy into the place, making it a direct link20) on the Island to her imaginary world. It's interesting to know that when you create your own world, you have a lot of power there. By relation, Teddy has a lot of power on the grounds because of the link, and has many amazing powers and contacts there.

Basically, the place has thus far been used less for memories as Teddy had originally desired, and more for practical magic21). But she still has hope that someday people will come to use her memory preserving powers to help others.

A Colorful Cast

Because Teddy has a link to her imaginary world, she sometimes brings people from her inner world into reality. A few in particular are often seen by those who visit Teddy or know her well. They are usually not human, and fairly odd.

Don't tempt Fayte!

If you never visit Teddy at her Sanctuary, you might never truley meet the piece of her mind she refers to as Fayte22). The personification of her subconscious and supressed feelings is a wicked woman who has a habit of making people uncomfortable and taking passing thoughts waaay too far. She is essentially Teddy's dark side and a complete psycho-bitch, even compared to Teddy normally. She isn't exactly evil though, and sometimes is even a powerful ally since she has the balls to do things Teddy won't.

They share the same body and mind technically, so you don't typically see one without the other close by, or occupying the same space.

Handsome Little Devil

Teddy's connection to her own world occationlly brings hostile things out of her own mind to trouble her. One such attack provoked her to summon a person from her own world in her own defense - a power she didn't realize she had until that moment.

To her suprise, the specific person she summond was not someone she consciously expected, a young boy know as Junior. He's a seven year old with a burdened old soul.

Junior is actually named after his father, but due to some family secrets, and general hostile insanity, he refuses23) to let people know his real name. Teddy's world is mostly non-humans, and Junior is only half humn himself. The other half is a weird mix of Batmorph and Siren24).

His lineage25) gives him sharp teeth and claws, useless little wings, mimicry power sharp enough to get him into fights with Shi26), a fondness for hanging upside down, and impressive wind elemental powers. He also has some other odd skills that aren't accounted for by his lineage, like shapeshifting to make himself look older27).

Personality wise, Junior makes wild swings between cute schoolbody who likes robots and dinosaurs and exploring, to an embittered man with the smile of a serial killer. He's prone to psychotic episodes and acting particularly immature under stress. Putting aside the crazy though, he works hard when needed and tries hard to take care of his friends and family. Friends should keep their guard up around him even on good days. To use his own vocabulary, he could be classified as a yandere. He seems sweet and loving at first, but struggles to express his emotions in a positive way, and can become violent unexpectedly.

Teddy fully trusts him with her life and has a very good relationship with him. He's currently the only person summoned from her world to leave the Sanctuary by Teddy's energy, and often accompanies her as a guard on trips. She's extremely fond of him, which causes him some embarassment when she 'gets mushy'28) about him.

Compared to Teddy, Junior is also very fashion forward. He doesn't bring it up in conversation, but wears many different outfits ranging from J-Pop culture, like his Froggie fashion, to dapper dress clothes.

Junior has also fought the Drive alone, in Teddy's absence. His experiences with the Drive were highly unsettling and upset him to recall. He has been affected by Improbability like most contestants, even becoming a psuedo-Kabuki after a DK.

1) They're easily confused and distracted too.
2) Some ripe run on sentences even.
3) You know, for allergies at the doctor's office.
4) She describes herself as being like joker_cake, "99% chance of hug, 1% chance of 'I'LL KILL YOUR WHOLE FAMILY YOU RAT BASTARD.' "
5) You know, the yellow ones that are all skinny and normal at the top then just get all ROUND at the base?
6) 'My name is Teddy.' 'Ha! Of course it is!'
7) And a big bitch. She knows it, ask her. She'll admit it.
8) She's actually gotten better about it the longer she stays on the Island. She's becoming more confident about social life.
9) Ask Meenos, they were close friends minutes before she tried to kill him and denounced him as a traitor.
10) She's making a conscious effort to work on this since makiwa asked her to trust him, and he never betrayed her.
11) I remember when one of her friends actually blurted out, 'STOP MAKING SO MUCH SENSE!' She's like the anti-Drive sometimes with her logical explanations.
12) She has some creative fixes to supernatural problems, but you'll have to come to her home to make it work usually.
13) Actually, it probably does. She wastes away alone.
14) Particularly chocolate chip cookies.
15) Oh, that poor bastard. He made the mistake of taking care of her in a very emotionally damaged state, and now she's latched onto him like a tick.
16) It's kind of funny though, if you bring him up, she'll become his personal cheerleader on the spot.
17) STRAS rewrote her prime directive and decided to exterminate all non-robots. She tried to kill Teddy a lot while Teddy was trying to help repair the situation.
18) Menk had disappeared shortly before too, adding to her distress.
19) And had other ideas of a way she could repay the favor, but that's another story.
20) It's one way as far as we know, and only operable by Teddy herself.
21) As well as for her to hoard stuff in her room and have a place to sleep
24) A Siren being a humanoid birdlike race that look like blue-eyed albinos with white hair and wings. They have unbelievable vocal abilities that far surpass the range of human hearing. And sometimes eat people, Greek Mythology style. That's what those awful teeth are for.
25) He's also half-Japanese, half-American, and speaks both languages. HE speaks English in near-perfect American accent, but peppers his dialogue with little Japanese phrases. He likes giving people he cares about honorific nicknames, like Onee-chan for Shi and Jii-chan to Makiwa.
27) Teddy doesn't even have an explantion for this.
28) "He's a good boy. He is, he takes care of me."
Logged in as: Guest (Guest)
teddy_phoenix_teddybear_of_death.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)