A now infamous incident taking place in Ace High on the night of March 26. The Improbable Island cameras caught the whole of this strange event, and it is rebroadcast here, uncut, on an infinite loop.
As night gradually falls, make-up and grease tubes were found littered in the Jungle around AceHigh. Strange animal cries were heard mixed with gypsy music and construction noises.
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame examines the litter, a bit perplexed. Grease paint? Gypsys? What sounded like an elephant. "This can mean only one thing."
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame continues, though no one is quite sure who he is talking to. "That thing being a circus. I love the circus. Haven't been in years. At least, I don't think I have."
Over night, a pole was raised in the center of of the Town Square; clowns run amok, improbable creatures transported in cages; out of the chaos was born ... a Parade. At the head of it:
The Galumphing ploamphed . He walks in with exaggerated swagger, followed by seventy six midgets and 110 mutants, and, of course, the Clowns.
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed raises one arm. The parade instantly halts. "Did somebody say they love the circus? Welcome, welcome! We are open for business!"
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame begins to get very excited. The long he watches the parade the younger he seems to act, as the sight of such wonder(mutants excluded) fills him with glee. "Circus! WHEE!!"
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame runs up to the ticket window, determained to be first. "Give me the best seat in the house my good man. Price is no object."
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed casts his eyes about. "Looks like my clowns didn't do that great a job advertising. No matter." He pulls out a bullhorn, "Cirucus! Circus! Come see the wonderful circus!"
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed says, "Hoho, my young friend. A ticket! For your eagerness it will be but 500 reqs."
<DICE> The Amazing Purple Limejello leaves. Her children would have loved the circus. But it's too late for that now.
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed says, ""Go on, look around. We have all sorts of creatures from the jungle, and all sorts of deformities the island produces. Enjoy yourself with our bizarre. Mind the time though, the main event will start"
<DICE> The Amazing Purple Limejello mutters to herself, "I wonder what happened to him. He never got to say goodbye. That alone might kill him."
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed says, "in but a minute."
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame curses at his horrible luck. "I just had to upgrade my hat. Well, it is of no matter. I shall procure....a part time job. Or I'll kill things until I have what I desire. Either way, money.
<DICE> The Amazing Purple Limejello walks away, her heart too heavy to enjoy the frivolty of a cirucs tonight.
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed picks up the bull horn again, "The circus is in town! Step up to see The Purple Peaple Eater, the Blair Hippo, and bring home your very own Furble!"
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame is as good as his word, stomping off into the jungle. Quite improbably, he finds a convience store with a help wanted sign.
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame , never one to look a gift horse in the mouth(gift budget horse being a differant story) immediately applies for the job. He is hired on the spot and told to stack shelves. Normally, the boring
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame -labor would reduce him to murderous rage, but the thought of pop corn, elephants, and all those hysterical clowns are enough to keep his spirits up. Indeed, his chipper attitude lands him
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed sits back and waits for the suckers to trickle in.
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame many accolades from the customers. Why a secluded convience store should ever have customers is completely ignored, and in seemingly no time EmeraldFlame has earned the money he needs.
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame returns to the village of Ace High, ready for fun, laughs, and good times. His new found job allows him to be a big spender, and he saunters to the box office to get a ticket.
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame says, ""Show me to the Big Top!"
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed says, "Look at the time. The sun's almost up. Once the sun rises, the animals will liven up, and we can start the show."
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed turns to EmeraldFlame: "You bet ya, my pal. Just bide a minute for our other customers to be seated, for our animals to wake up, and for our clowns to do their morning aerobics."
True to his word, at exactly 4:13am, the first ray of sunshine drops on this mountain outpost. At the crowing of one single rooster, the entire circus came alive!
The Galumphing ploamphed mutters to himself, "Either my pocket watch is 5 minutes fast, or that town clock is five minutes slow."
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame is woken up from his restless sleep by the sounds of the circus. So excited was he that he actually slept in his seat for the show.
A spotlight shines on the recently woken EmeraldFlame. The emcee stands right in front of him holding a microphone in his hand. Under the top-hat and heavy clown make-up,
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame holds his breath in anticipation. The clown was talking to him. EmeraldFlame resists the urge to clap in glee.
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed says, "Hey hey, ya lucky sonuva-contestant, help me out here eh? Where ya from, pal? Oh right, we're all from the Island. Ha! Ha! But seriously though, man, are you a horse's head?"
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame seems confused. "No, I'm not a horse's head. Why do you ask?"
<SWEET> Dragon Goddess Severa walks into the outpost, stops for a moment...a Circus...Most interesting....
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed says, "Oh ho, that's quite a shame, quite a shame, then can you possibly be the horse's ear?"
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame , still unsure of where this all is going, chuckles. "But of course I am not a horses ear."
<SWEET> Dragon Goddess Severa meanders over to stand next to the Lieu, now curious...
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed says, "Oh my boy, you know what you are missing out! Then tell me you are a horses tail?"
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame says, "Why, of course I'm not a horse's tail."
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed , now with a malicious grin on his face, "Then surely you must be the horse's ASS! Ha ha!" He spins around from the reddened EmeraldFlame, bows to the laughing audience.
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed says, "Enjoy the show, folks! We'll be in town the whole day!"
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed retires from the stage and leaves the performance in the hands of the troupe.
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame can't believe what just happened. The clown had insulted him. He seethes as he watches the rest of the show, not taking it in. At the end he gets up and walks out, thinking of how to get even.
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame thinks about how he should have been quicker. He should have insulted the clown back. That's what he'll do then. He'll devise the most acidic insult the clown has ever heard.
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame spends time thinking of the thing to say. Midway through his shift, he hits upon it. And evil smile stretches across his face and he heads once more to the ticket office. "One please"
As the day passes, the circus puts on show after show after show. Patrons come and go, taking in this rare sight on the island. The emcee/ringmaster smiles at his success.
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame takes his seat, just hoping that they spotlight him again. When he delivers his biting insult, the clown would be rendered speechless. Possibly forever. It was just that perfect of an insult.
The spotlight swivels, and the drums beat to a roll. The audiences hold their collective breaths, wondering who the lucky one is that will be chosen for the act. The light stops at...
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame . Good. His plan was working. The clown would never see it coming. EmeraldFlame hoped he would cry. He would deserve it after all he had done to crush EF's gentle spirit.
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed again dons his top hat and make up. Without even noticing whom the spotlight stopped on, he walks up and began his schpiel, "Hey ho my lucky friend, are the the horse's head?"
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame smiles back. "Why, heavens no. No horses head be I. Who would think such a silly thing?"
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed says, "Hey mister, are you the horse's ear?"
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame give a forced chuckle. "No, I am not, but that's a funny idea."
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed says, "Well then, are you possibly the horse's tail?"
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame can barely contain his smile as he pretends to be bewildered. "But of course not. I say, is this all going somewhere?"
<NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed says, "Well then, you ain't the horse's head, you ain't its ear, and you ain't its tail either. I say, you must be the horse's ASS."
The tent bursts in laughter. But something's weird. EmeraldFlame does not look embarassed. Ploamphed is alarmed, this has never happened before.
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame rises to his feet, ready to deliver the final, crushing blow to the evil clown. This would be the stuff of legends. No one would ever forget the words heard here today.
<NBLUE> Second Lieutenant EmeraldFlame says, "Fuck you clown, Fuck you!"
Reactions by those watching depended greatly on individual sense of humor, and how open they were to blatant time wasting. If you read this far, you probably thought it was decently funny.