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Chapter 8 - Chase!

Many months later, at the Bingo Hall (Reception)

There is a sudden scuffling noise from beneath the Knackered Old Sofa, and a gopher suddenly appears, whiffling its whiskers and testing the air. Snifsnif. Food?

calliaphone pauses on the doorstep, stilling her bucket so it doesn't clank. A gopher? No! Not just any gopher! "ROLLMOP!" The gopher looks up in alarm.

calliaphone stares at the gopher, who stares back. And then, in a flash of brown fur, he is on the move. Man, he is fast.

calliaphone gives chase, clanking after him (no use for stealth now) into a random corridor.

Uncle Bernard thinks that may not have been a gopher, it may have been Sink's hairpiece.

In the Kitchen

calliaphone and the gopher pause here in their chase. they look at each other. they look at Bruce. he looks at them. they both start whistling innocently, while beating a hasty retreat.


calliaphone is chased out of the kitchens by a gopher. wait a minute. gopher and engineer skid to a halt. "we've got this the wrong way round, haven't we?" "squeak". "ok, after you, then."

calliaphone and gopher resume the proper Order of the Chase.

Uncle Bernard is sure it's a hairpiece.

Earth Mage Paul Lo wouldn't say.

Earth Mage Paul Lo could skewer it with a stick so that it'd be a hairpiece, though.

Hostel Corridor

calliaphone slither-clank-skids through here, in pursuit of a gopher. both parties make for the gift shoppe at speed.

Gifte Shoppe

calliaphone hurtles in, eyes down - fixed on that lil gopher where's it goin' down there through those racks of t-shirts past the glass display case skittering claws on lino towards the . . . uh ohhh

calliaphone sees too late the approaching tower of boxes. no brakes at this stopping distance! the gopher goes beneath. she goes straight through. there is an explosion of cardboard and turkish delight.

calliaphone rolls to a halt, amid the debris. slowly, a cloud of icing sugar settles over her person.

calliaphone coughs.

calliaphone coughs again. because, wow, that is pretty cool. it's like, frozen breath on icy days, only sweeter. and warmer.

calliaphone sits up, slowly. looking a teensy bit ghostly. in the corner of her eye, she sees movement. something little, and white and whiskered.

calliaphone stares. the little white whiskered thing stares back. and then . . . "WAAAAUGGHHHcoughA GHOSTGOPHERHAAAALLLLP!" "squeakpuff"

calliaphone and ghostgopher skitter in opposite directions in their mutual terror. there is an awkward moment at the door, since they have to close the gap a bit to get through it, but they manage.

Hostel Corridor

calliaphone and gopher, both ghastly-white, streak up opposite sides of the corridor. She is YELLING and he is SQUEEEKING and it's really not clear who is running from whom.


calliaphone and the gopher both come racing out of the gift shoppe corridor, both coated from head to foot in some fine white powder. They separate. . .

calliaphone going thattaway (YELLING), him going thissaway (SQUEEEKING). Behind them, a sweet powdery taste hangs in the air.

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