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Chapter 1 - Shell Shock

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The Bingo Hall is quiet, if not exactly tidy. Evidence is scattered around, from the previous night's game of corridor crazy-golf, but of actual structural damage, there is little. It appears that the golfers negotiated their game without detonating any of the "balls", at least. . .

2010-01-25 17:50:04: Metallic g_rock cames walking down the stairs into the main hall. He starts to wave "Good Morn-oof!" he trips over a bowl at the foot of the stairs and tumbles, landing in a heap. "Ow! Who's ring is this?"

2010-01-25 17:50:29: Non-stick Spandex gets up and shuffles over, ruffling her hair off her forehead and talking mid-yawn, "who's bruce?" She tickles Darren under the chin.

2010-01-25 17:50:52: Metallic g_rock holds up a small silvery ring with some sort of pin dangling off it

2010-01-25 17:52:00: calliaphone jumps up and runs over to check on G. "sheesh, you okay? you gotta be careful!"

2010-01-25 17:52:39: calliaphone stares at what G's holding. "oh fuck" she says. "'NADE! RUN!!!!!"

2010-01-25 17:52:59: calliaphone runs, and dives behind the sofa.

2010-01-25 17:53:16: Non-stick Spandex in her half-asleep state, takes perhaps a few seconds too long, but screams "DUUUUUCCCKKKKK!!!" She grabs Darren and they both hit the ground.

2010-01-25 17:53:44: Metallic g_rock nods to Callia "Well, I was hardly expecting a bowl at the bottom of the stairs. A bowlful of. . .aw, shit." he looks from the pin-ring to the small pineapple-shaped device at his feet and back

2010-01-25 17:54:52: Metallic g_rock wraps his jacket around the whoomph and tosses it into a cupboard

2010-01-25 17:55:13: calliaphone stares at G in horror. "RUN RUN WHAT'RE YOU WAITING FOR?"

2010-01-25 17:55:26: Metallic g_rock braces his body against said cupboard and waits. . .

2010-01-25 17:55:53: calliaphone disappears behind the sofa again. she can't watch.

2010-01-25 17:56:36 PAMPH!!!

2010-01-25 17:58:11: calliaphone emerges, slowly, from behind the sofa. fully expecting to see G's remains splattered all over the Bingo Hall walls.

2010-01-25 17:58:23: Metallic g_rock is scooted several inches away as the cupboard door swells slightly, and starts leaking tendrils of smoke "Whew, lucky that wasn't a bang!" he carefully opens the door, which promptly falls off

2010-01-25 18:00:23: Non-stick Spandex stands up at the sounds of g's and callia's voices. Darren in her arms, is chrrrping angrily.

2010-01-25 18:01:21: calliaphone isn't looking yet, she's so convinced it'll be gore galore, she's kept her eyes tight shut. Hearing G's voice, she jumps in some confusion. Do ghosts talk?

2010-01-25 18:03:25: Non-stick Spandex waggles her finger at g-rock, "I take it you're not a golfer?"

2010-01-25 18:05:37: calliaphone squeaks, and covers her eyes with her hands. Do ghosts talk . . . about golf?

2010-01-25 18:06:08: Metallic g_rock gently extracts his jacket, still smoking slightly, and unfurls it. He appraises it, dented and creased, and covered in soot on the inside, oxidized heavily on the outside. He turns, does

2010-01-25 18:07:00: Metallic g_rock , not sniffling a bit. "What was a whoomph grenade doing on the steps? And what about golf?"

2010-01-25 18:08:29: calliaphone peeks between her fingers, and sees . . . Spandex! Darren! G! Apparently all quite life-like. She doesn't know who to hug first, so tries to hug them all at once.

2010-01-25 18:09:46: Non-stick Spandex suddenly realises what happened and groans, "ffuuuuuccck. I totally left the whoomph in the bowl. From the golf game. Ack. I'm SO sorry."

2010-01-25 18:10:44: calliaphone 's penguin is still chrrping angrily at Spandex.

2010-01-25 18:12:11: Metallic g_rock barely notices the hug, and barely registers the explanation. He keeps turning his jacket over and over in his hands "I guess. . .I guess it's a smoking jacket, now. . ."

2010-01-25 18:13:27: calliaphone looks at G, concerned. "Are you alright? Is it shell-shock. Mebbe you should sit down, have coffee or something?"

2010-01-25 18:14:25: Non-stick Spandex holds Darren up, closer to her face, "what's wrong. It's okay now. You pissed at me for being so stupid?"

2010-01-25 18:15:43: calliaphone 's penguin is chrrping and chrrping. He really is quite annoyed about something.

2010-01-25 18:16:00: Metallic g_rock bundles up his jacket and cradles it like a baby. He stares through Callia "Mmm? Yeah, coffee. . .yes. . .okay. . ." he sits down, almost on a chair. He gets up and tries again

2010-01-25 18:16:29: Non-stick Spandex frowns and hands Darren to callia. "Maybe he's scared and wants you?"

2010-01-25 18:18:44: Non-stick Spandex goes over to fetch coffees. "Is your coat okay, G?"

2010-01-25 18:20:26: calliaphone cradles Darren in her arms, and guides G to the sofa.

2010-01-25 18:23:03: calliaphone ignores Darren's continuing angry chrrps. She pulls up a chair and peers at G. "You look a bit shook-up, G, you really do. You should've run, like we did."

2010-01-25 18:26:35: Non-stick Spandex comes over with coffees, and hands them to her clannies. "look G, it's not as nice as yours but you can have my leather overcoat. Or I'll save my reqs and get you any coat you want."

2010-01-25 18:27:35: Non-stick Spandex turns her head so only callia can see and flashes her a baffled look. For both males in the room.

2010-01-25 18:28:26: Metallic g_rock glances up from his ruined-looking jacket "But. . .fire. . .main hall. . .greater good. . .flammable. . ." he indicates the paint thinner still left on the floor from Bishop's shovel cleaning

2010-01-25 18:28:29: calliaphone puts Darren down. He waddles over to Spandex and chrrps at her knees, apoplectically. Callia takes a sip of coffee, and says to G, "p'raps the jacket can be mended? Want me to take a look?"

2010-01-25 18:29:25: calliaphone mouths to Spandex "Shell-shock?" It's not clear if she means G, Darren, or both.

2010-01-25 18:33:26: Metallic g_rock looks down at the penguin. He pulls off his hat and whistles into it, and Chuck hops out with a Sqwualk! to Darren. G turns to Spandex and Callia, taking a BIGSIP of coffee

2010-01-25 18:35:21: Metallic g_rock seems to come around slightly with the addition of Caffiene. "Hrm? Oh. . .no thanks Dex. And, I hope you're right Callia. This is more than a good dry cleaner could handle."

2010-01-25 18:36:10: Non-stick Spandex frowns, "That was utterly stupid of me, G. I'm sorry. I'm really glad you're okay though."

2010-01-25 18:36:26: calliaphone winces slightly at the mention of dry-cleaners. She holds out her hands for the jacket. "Can I see? How bad is it?"

2010-01-25 18:39:43: Metallic g_rock nods, reluctantly, and spreads the jacket on the floor for Callia to look. It's bad, like the hood (or bonnet, if you like) of a car after a good golf-clubbing and baseball-batting

2010-01-25 18:41:17: Non-stick Spandex kneels and rubs the jacket between her fingers, "Holy shit. What's this made of?"

2010-01-25 18:43:02: Metallic g_rock 's jacket is all patina'd on the outside, swirled and splotchy, and the inside looks like inside of a cancerous lung. It also seems to have lost some of it's flexibility, and crinkles when moved

2010-01-25 18:43:20: calliaphone frowns, examining the jacket. Then she gets up and goes over to her cart, rummaging about until she finds her pillow-case full of tools. From this, she extracts a dent-removal kit.

2010-01-25 18:45:55: calliaphone returns to G and Spandex and the jacket, tripping over Darren, who is chrrping away to a long-suffering Chuck.

2010-01-25 18:46:17: Metallic g_rock turns to Spandex "Idunno, exactly. I think it's very improbable metal, stretched thin and tuned to respond to me. Courtesy one Horatio Entwhistle."

2010-01-25 18:47:59: calliaphone brandishes the kit at G. "We could try to do the outside with this. As for the inside... " she crouches down for a closer look. "Hmmm."

2010-01-25 18:51:03: Metallic g_rock nods and starts to speak, but is interrupted by a certain sandpiper. They squawk and whistle back and forth, and G nods, Chuck splurts oil on his shirt, and Darren hop-flaps angrily

2010-01-25 18:54:25: calliaphone rolls her eyes. What is it with birds?

2010-01-25 18:58:01: Metallic g_rock rolls his eyes "Look, I'm sure she didn't"SQUAWK!chrrpSquAwk!!!". . .alright! calm down! Dex, did you happen to call Darren a Duck?"

2010-01-25 19:02:19: Non-stick Spandex raises her head from a little sulk and looks at Darren. Then she looks at g. "Did I? Probably fuck. Good luck translating that."

2010-01-25 19:06:59: Non-stick Spandex reaches out to the sensitive flower, "I know you're a penguin. And damn handsome too. Now come here for scratches, or I'll call you chicken."

2010-01-25 19:08:04: Metallic g_rock shakes his head at the little fella "Listen, I doubt she meant it, so-"ChrrpChirrup!suawksquikSQUAWWWLLK!!!"-ALRIGHT! Alright! I didn't mean to minimize it, or marginalize your. . .your what?"

2010-01-25 19:09:04: calliaphone covers her eyes so she doesn't have to see any rude flipper-gestures. she's too young for that.

2010-01-25 19:10:51: Metallic g_rock is careful not to chuckle Right, your Penguinhood. Dex, he's really pissed. That's like, if he had called you, idunno, a Chimpanzee. What? Okay, sorry, if he called you a. . ."

2010-01-25 19:13:33: Metallic g_rock rolls his eyes "Stupid, fucking, south-flying, marshdwelling, pondscum-eating, thinks-he's-so-shitting-great, mincing, raspy-voiced, lookitme-I-can-fly-in-formation-la-dee-fuck ing-dah. . .chimp.

2010-01-25 19:13:40: Non-stick Spandex is thinking, and then suddenly it dawns on her. She cracks a small smile, "Darren you crazed loon, duck! means to get down, as in avoid getting blown to feather-eens."

2010-01-25 19:14:05: calliaphone chokes on her coffee.

2010-01-25 19:17:14: Non-stick Spandex stares at Darren seriously, "but I'll find another term to use in your presence, deal?" She adds, in a mumble, "bloody drama queen."

2010-01-25 19:20:12: Metallic g_rock facepalms as Darren gets red in the face "You didn't just call him a loon!"

2010-01-25 19:22:20: Non-stick Spandex is almost uptospeed for a rant, "he's almost as bad as the last guy I dated, and he was at least great in. . ." she trails off. "What's wrong with loons!"

2010-01-25 19:26:05: Metallic g_rock sighs heavily and tries to translate "Ahem. . .'What's wrong with being a long-necked, goofy-arsed, honking, nasal. . .' Now, Darren, that's just uncalled for. . .No! I won't say that aloud!"

2010-01-25 19:30:23: Non-stick Spandex waggles her finger at Darren, "they're the national bird of Canada, I'll have you know."

2010-01-25 19:31:59: Non-stick Spandex sighs extra-loud for effect, "ANYway. Is your coat salvageable, G? Want me to get one from Horatio for you?"

2010-01-25 19:34:15: Metallic g_rock looks madder than the penguin at this point, and Chuck has fallen silent "Now, that's just uncalled for! Canada isn't 'Wannabe-antarctica'! and now you're just spitting swear words! She apologized!

2010-01-25 19:36:15: Metallic g_rock whistles Chuck back into his hat, the latter looking a bit shocked and put-off by Darren "Right. Sorry, Dex, I don't think you can. I'll have to see if I can find someone to sort it out."

2010-01-25 19:45:29: Metallic g_rock sighs at the penguin's antics, and goes back to examining his coat. It appears beyond repair, all the dents deeply creased in, the material growing more rigid by the second

2010-01-25 20:11:33: Uncle Bernard emerges from the workshop, yet again locking and bolting the doors behind him. He can't recall fitting a rotary club engine to the bloody thing, but then again, he can't recall much. No change there!

2010-01-25 21:21:00: Metallic g_rock glances up from his jacket examination "Yup, it's done for." there are absolutely not tears welling up "Well, I'll have to see if I can get it fixed. Hey, any sandwiches left?"

2010-01-25 21:30:34: Non-stick Spandex nods. "You want spurs, G? To make up for the coat?"

2010-01-25 21:31:12: calliaphone adds, "or a speed-trap-detector. although technically that's Ebenezer's"

2010-01-25 21:35:27: Metallic g_rock shakes his head "It's alright. I'll figure something out. I really should learn to expect high-yield explosives lying around."

2010-01-25 21:37:58: Uncle Bernard asks, "What's that about high yield explosives?" he doesn't look worried, for some reason.

2010-01-25 21:39:22: Metallic g_rock shrugs "Don't worry about it, UB. Just discussing alternatives to traditional dry cleaning."

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