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A lie. This particular lie is intended to give players some sense of accomplishment, allowing them to say, 'I moved from here to there in a particular amount of time,' when in fact nothing of the sort has happened. 'Time' can be 'full' or 'wasted' - often by the same acts.

In a four-dimensional world, the first three dimensions are related to space: height, width, and depth. As the fourth dimension, 'time' is often perceived in terms of motion through the other three. But this is not only a lie but an evil conspiracy to boot.1) The proof for that theorem is something you too can easily accomplish right there in your own home, office, or classroom, even without a scientific background or a wall full of degrees in particle physics or applied karaoke. Let's test it right now, shall we?

* Step 1: Take note of where your contestant is in the game.

* Step 2: Put down your laptop or push your chair back from your keyboard, whichever is applicable. Stand up. Stretch. See? - That's what it feels like to use parts of your body other than your mind or carpel tunnel extremities.2)

* Step 3: Walk away. Maybe go get yourself something to drink. Perhaps a nice Mountain Dew.3) Be sure you spend at least five minutes4) away from the computer.

* Step 4: Return to your computer. Aaah, that's better, isn't it?

* Step 5: Take note of where your contestant is now. Chances are, he, she, or it5) is in the very same place from Step 1.

This might seem to imply that 'time' has passed for you but no 'time' has passed for your contestant, this proving the theorem, but in fact the opposite is true. In fact, the moment you stopped paying attention to the screen, your contestant sneaked off to the the grassy meadow just outside of the city and partied all night long with other contestants6), raising glasses of ale, singing bawdy songs all night long with Emily and Seth, and hurrying back to the screen mere instants before you returned, hoping you don't notice how out-of-breath they are or the ale stains on their armor. What this experiment has proven is that 'time' passes much faster in the online world than it does for you and therefore the online world is more 'timely' and 'real' than your world. The particular lie here is that you thought you had accomplished something - stretching unused muscles perhaps, or drinking a caffeinated beverage - when in fact your contestant accomplished a lot more than you did - and had more fun doing it. This difference in the perception of 'time' can be attributed to the effect of the improbability that infuses not just the Island but the entire online world. Maybe it's time to digitize yourself and join him-her-it online.

1) For reasons unknown, Kassil seems immune to this particular lie, even when not a Jokermorph.
2) Yes, I know it's unpleasant, but you'll be able to get back to the game shortly, and that feeling will pass.
3) Caveman Joe's favorite. Trust me - I've gone through his recycling bin.
4) A common measure of 'time,' so vague as to be meaningless and not worth its own wiki page. Ask the last person who told you 'in a minute.'
5) Robots and some computer geeks only.
6) These other fraternal bond-mates are often called 'friends.' No good definition of this term exists, since the people writing this wiki page have never had them. Further research is needed - these may be available by mail order.
 
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time.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)