If you've just entered as a new Lodger,
be sure not to annoy the old codger.
He sits by the fire,
But he's really choosing who next to roger!
The odorous residents in Squat Hole
argue over things that they stole;
They may be short
but they really ought
to make hygiene a personal goal!
As the applicants sit and wait
Clan chiefs decide their fate;
though the room is cheery,
those waiting soon weary,
and help themselves from Stan's plate.
It's said that in Location Four
veterans advise on custom and lore;
So if you're new to the Island
just learn to smile and
say 'how wise, please tell me more'.
We come to the Raven Inn
tired bedraggled and thin;
We carve on the table,
such wit as we're able,
But usually it ain't worth a pin.
This town is quite awe inspiring,
and the statue worth briefly admiring;
but beware of the stocks,
with their little trick locks,
or a term there you'll be acquiring!
It looks like an interesting rock
but appearance can be a crock;
manage to survive,
and kill the drive,
and your scar will the door unlock!
In Pleasantville the people you meet,
as daily you walk down the street,
may look odd at first,
but it soon gets worse..
they've too many hands and feet!
In the far north town called Cyber City,
from the residents don't expect any pity;
With hearts of steel,
they just don't feel,
and the ice in their oil makes them shitty.
In Kittania's Chapel we're mated
to the partner for whom we're fated;
Signified by a ring,
that isn't mere bling,
and in private to be consummated.
If you're sent on a quest to Ace High
Don't expect steak, coffee or pie;
They only have cake,
on which your life you stake,
So you get to enjoy it, or die!
As you enter the good Doctor's door,
check your resolve is quite sure;
A nip and a tuck
and the drake is a duck,
as some of your bits end up on the floor!
In Pittsburgh, the home of the dead
It's best to hold on to your head
They go to such pains
To eat out your brains
They'll even attack you in bed!
As I entered the grassy field,
I wondered what would be revealed;
But the time went fast,
in sleepy repast,
with no need of weapon or shield.
I may not always please with my puns,
and my limericks don't always run;
But it's better to try,
than wondering die,
have I missed out on the fun?
A kittymorph collecting some books,
wasn't concerned by getting odd looks,
she'd pause on her way,
with something witty to say,
then continue searching crannies and nooks
(Copied and edited from a forum post at the time)
So, I started this thing about limericks and it took on life of it's own. Some players asked me to consolidate the limericks into a collection. (Thus this post.) Others said they don't like my kind round these parts. *shrug*. Some seriously complained that my Limericks failed to meet the rules of Limerick creation or some such because there was the wrong number of syllables in the nth line.
So here's the story, followed by most of the limericks. Some of which I freely admit are truly awful. Some of which I have a tiny spark of affection for.
"How did it start?" I hear you ask in your endless search for the truth, the whole truth, and maybe a free beer or two. I reply: "Like this:"
Kittania.. a long time ago:
Citizen Wayne strolls in reciting "There was a young girl from Nantucket", and heads straight for the Cafe.
Citizen Wayne says, "at last Dan has sent me on a quest to somewhere with decent food!"
Citizen Wayne exits the cafe, restocks his bandolier with grenades, and still trying to finish the limerick he began earlier, heads out to the jungle.
(5d10h) Oblivious Symar is fairly certain that limerick involves a bukkit..
(5d10h) Citizen Wayne says, "why yes indeedy"
(5d10h) Citizen Wayne says, "So now I have.."
(5d10h) Citizen Wayne says, "There was a young girl from Nantucket, who could only ever pee in a bucket..""
(5d10h) Citizen Wayne says, "when her mother asked why, the young girl looked shy.."
(5d9h) Citizen Wayne says, ".. and said if you don't like it then.. chuck it."
(5d9h) Citizen Wayne, flushed with success, thinks making up limericks using Improbable Island town names might fill in his days nicely.
So, from there I set out on a quest to leave a limerick in every chat space. And I succeeded! I left one in every chat space that is either about or mentions the space in which is was left. I also left a couple of randoms. The only one of those dedicated to a particular space but not included here is the one I left in and about Kittania, which I couldn't find when I went back to compile them. There were several that were composed by others that were better than mine, but I didn't feel entiltled to include.