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Wenches

FoilWench

A dirty conniving old woman who in reality hails from a system in the Pleiades and is the former girlfriend of Captain James Cook. She roams the jungle wielding naught but a screwdriver and a Howitzer, searching for suckers who will donate a cigarette in exchange for an anal probing upgrade. Once she has accumulated enough cigarettes, she plans to extract the tar and commence construction on a highway (to streamline her interests in exporting Crenshaw melons) that will obliterate all life on the island.

She must be stopped.1)

Ahahahahahaaaa.

Emily

SaucyWench

Not much known about her. She's the only waitress at Saucy's Kitchen in Improbable Central and tends to be very impatient and witchy.2) She dumps any manner of horrid substance in front of you when you don't specify what you want3) and leaves with a sarcastic remark. At least she has the courtesy to give you edible stuff most of the time.

NewPitts Fighting Wench

WENCH

1) Update: Has been stopped.
2) Is that spelled right? I think it starts with a B.
3) which you never really get to do.
 
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wenches.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)