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CavemanJoe
 Tuesday, October 28 2008 @ 04:18 PM UTC (Read 15675 times)  
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There's a bit of pregnancy roleplaying going on right now. That reminds me of this.

When I was living in Pittsburgh with Emily and Bannakaffalatta and Kass Who Does Not Play On The Island, our sense of sick humour bounced off each other and escalated somewhat. The Magical Mystery Meat Mount was conceived in Pittsburgh, as was Budget Horse (and his updated, more disgusting upgrade text, which I still haven't put into the game yet).

We also discussed the mechanics of getting a player pregnant, possibly via a monster that released a cloud of spores. You'd fight the monster, then a few weeks later you'd head off into the bushes to pee and a three-foot-long centipede - WITH YOUR FACE ON IT - would squirm its way out of your urethra, squeaking "Daddy!" and speaking in tongues like this.

After a suitable amount of "OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD," you would then be given an option to give the baby to an orphanage, or ride it around as your new (and very underpowered) mount until it became stronger.

If you clicked the "orphanage" link, you'd realise that the sign saying "definitely an orphanage" is rather crudely and hastily painted, and hanging off its frame on a single nail. Behind it, the original sign, "sausage factory," can be clearly seen. You'd then be asked the question again, to confirm.



Be glad I don't put every idea I have into the Island.


 
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CheshireCat
 Tuesday, October 28 2008 @ 10:01 PM UTC  
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Aww. I give LJ credit for the idea. Though, I must say Joe... That is one of the sickest ideas I've ever seen. Good job.


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Epaphus
 Tuesday, October 28 2008 @ 11:03 PM UTC  
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Quote by: CavemanJoe

[...] The Magical Mystery Meat Mount was conceived in Pittsburgh, as was Budget Horse



Somehow, that explains a lot.


 
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Anonymous: groovyness
 Tuesday, October 28 2008 @ 11:08 PM UTC  



i was thinking maybe have a hospital somewhere, and one you kill the drive a certain number of times, or something, you get the option of having a baby. or maybe they don't even tell you that much. maybe it just says "go in for experimental sergery" and you get paid a certain amount of rec, and maybe one of the strange things that could happen is pregnancy. and you get buffs, it makes you much more charming, and less turns, and then after you've had the kid, every now and then the "something improbable" thing comes up and tells you your kid won a spelling bee, or got a skinned knee, or got bitten by a radioactive hedgehog and is now bent on destroying the earth, and you have to figure out how to raise the little bugger. just a thought...


 
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Epaphus
 Tuesday, October 28 2008 @ 11:19 PM UTC  
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I think pregnancies should involve Dr. Paprika's Office in Pleasantville. Dr. Paprika and his knowledgeable, courteous staff need more to do.

But why stop at pregnancies? Maybe players can catch diseases from certain monsters--or get cursed by them--and their player stats will decline over time, similar to the Stamina level. (Maybe fights start costing 2 turns instead of 1, or the player feels too weak to travel, or the Stamina level starts going down before the turns are exhausted.) When that happens, the player has to head to Dr. Paprika's Office to get a cure ... which just happens to cost some reqs and maybe a cig or two, since The Watcher doesn't provide health insurance.

If that's too complex, maybe new contestants will be exempt and the disease system will kick in after the fifth drive kill or something.

Obviously, I'm all in favor of the Island having still more ways to kill us all!


 
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CavemanJoe
 Tuesday, October 28 2008 @ 11:24 PM UTC  
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@ Groovyness:
Nah. If there's gonna be pregnancy, it's gonna be brought on by either a spore-cloud-huffing monster, or a dripping tentacle beast.

And it'll be a centipede with your head.

And instead of getting a congratulatory letter saying that your kid has gotten good grades or won a spelling bee, you'll get angry notes telling you that it's chewed the face off some poor newbie - AGAIN - and would you please, please keep it on the electrified leash that you've been rather pointedly supplied with?


 
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CavemanJoe
 Tuesday, October 28 2008 @ 11:30 PM UTC  
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@ Epaphus:

That sort of thing can be accomplished quite easily with the use of creature AI scripts, which execute at the end of each battle round.

*looks around* What? Jus' sayin', is all...

*evil laughter*


 
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Epaphus
 Tuesday, October 28 2008 @ 11:34 PM UTC  
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Terrific. So I should expect to be the first contestant stricken with bubonic plague sometime tomorrow morning? Having my body turn into a giant blue bag of puss sure gets my day off to a great start.


 
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Rosin
 Wednesday, May 06 2009 @ 04:04 AM UTC  
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Just reviving this old thread, seeing as it caught my eye and I rather enjoy having a matched pair.

Quote by: CavemanJoe

@ Groovyness:
Nah. If there's gonna be pregnancy, it's gonna be brought on by either a spore-cloud-huffing monster, or a dripping tentacle beast.

And it'll be a centipede with your head.



Firstly, how about we get the spore-cloud-huffing monster for the men and the dripping tentacle beast for the women? Just to make the game more offensive to everyone.

Second, I'd adore having a child that was a centipede (if only I didn't have to give birth to it), if only for the poison and the fact that when it was older it would be one of the fastest and deadliest mounts around.

Right around the time it's whatever age could be considered a teenager, we could get a 'family time' buff, which allows us to build trust whilst killing and feasting upon our foes. It's what we did growing up, and I think our children should have the same opportunity.


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Anonymous: Symar
 Wednesday, May 06 2009 @ 08:45 PM UTC  


Quote by: Rosin
Firstly, how about we get the spore-cloud-huffing monster for the men and the dripping tentacle beast for the women?


If gender-specific encounters are a possibility, I'd like to see both the Albert encounters and the encountering yourself from the future changed. They assume the character is male. there may be others, too, but I either haven't seen them yet or don't recall.


Oh, and this sounds fun, heh.


 
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alex xeno
 Thursday, May 07 2009 @ 11:09 PM UTC  
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oh man... that would be great if you actually did it, But i would say make the fights against those creatures tougher, and make the resulting pregnancy a punishment, for say being below a certain level of health when you kill it or even worst, when it beats you. then of course you would have to have a de-buff


 
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Count Sessine
 Friday, May 08 2009 @ 03:20 PM UTC  
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Possibly this doesn't need saying, but sometimes the plonkingly obvious does get overlooked -- so I'll take on the role of spoilsport.

Joking around about pregnancy here in the forum: Sure, most amusing.

Actually implementing it in the game: Not Funny At All.* Dan was, you know... smart to leave it out.

* Do I need to explain to anyone why simulating a forced pregnancy is a bad idea? **

** It would make me quit the game, it's that bad.


 
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James Bond
 Friday, May 08 2009 @ 05:50 PM UTC  
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Agreed; the pregnancies thing could get very out of hand.
But it would be neat to have gender-specific monsters; Albert and Future selves are perfect examples on how that works.
Maybe species-specific, too? Such as no midget attacks on midgets?


 
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CavemanJoe
 Friday, May 08 2009 @ 08:25 PM UTC  
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Gender- and race-specific monsters is gonna be pretty hard to pull off. Maybe for S3.

Shame about the pregnancies, though. I had a female version planned out (not to be sexist, but I think we can agree the whole "hideous monster coming out through the urethra" thing isn't nearly as funny from a female POV), where the player would puke up a monster instead. Would encourage more visits to Doc Paprika, since each gender is only capable of producing certain types of monster.

Although maybe I was only considering it for the cheap Pukemon pun. Mr. Green


 
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Rosin
 Friday, May 08 2009 @ 09:54 PM UTC  
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Dan, we ought to have you locked up in a punitentiary for that one.

Anyway, I was thinking it would just be a neat thing, though it would be rather bad to have people leave the game just for that. Might work for a sort of quest in S3.


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Anonymous: Symar
 Friday, May 08 2009 @ 11:25 PM UTC  


Maybe, have an option you can turn on to allow it, but otherwise it's off?
Maybe that'd be too much work for a rare thing that people might not even realize the option exists.


 
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Zolotisty
 Saturday, May 09 2009 @ 06:25 AM UTC  
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Quote by: Count+Sessine

Possibly this doesn't need saying, but sometimes the plonkingly obvious does get overlooked -- so I'll take on the role of spoilsport.

Joking around about pregnancy here in the forum: Sure, most amusing.

Actually implementing it in the game: Not Funny At All.* Dan was, you know... smart to leave it out.

* Do I need to explain to anyone why simulating a forced pregnancy is a bad idea? **

** It would make me quit the game, it's that bad.



Yep, I'd um. Yeah. You'd lose me too. Confused

GOOD THING THAT'S NOT HAPPENING, HUH?


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SicPuess
 Sunday, May 10 2009 @ 02:08 PM UTC  
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yesyes.

However, I do find the concept of diseases interesting - after all, II is set in a Jungle. There you find at least Malaria - so... imagine a few improbable variants of that.

Sudden buff/stamina decreases for a couple of fights or turns due to a sudden fever pitch, maybe (perhaps possibly maybe) a link to PvP (think Zombie Virus, Borg, Mutagens, Werewolves for 'Morphs), epidemic outbreaks...

All that with corresponding equipment (Malaria medication or whatever).



... Also. There is a kind of spider that lays its eggs in live flesh (or is that just a rumour? Not important.). It results in a growing lump which eventually POPs, and a hundred of baby spiders crawling around on your arm. Or leg. Or left buttock. Slow and steady stamina decrease first, then it opens up, attack drops to where the sun doesn't shine, and defense goes to fly with the clouds. (And suddenly, losing against the Spiderkitty becomes even more frightening...).
A milder version of pregnancy, one might call it.


 
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CheshireCat
 Monday, May 11 2009 @ 04:40 PM UTC  
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Joe, if you do that, I hope you lift the usage maximum. Though, it still leads to some amusing events.

Wait, what maximum?


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Gorbert
 Tuesday, May 12 2009 @ 12:51 AM UTC  
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You are a very sick man, Caveman Joe. I like you a little more now.


 
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