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 You've played too much II when...
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Fergus
 Sunday, August 23 2009 @ 03:41 PM UTC (Read 17752 times)  
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1. You try to give a cig to an old man in exchange for using him as a horse.
2. You start eating only steaks.
3. You take a trip to Stonehenge just to walk in the center and try to get cigs/charm/hp.
4. You consider getting real tattoos and jewelry in hopes that it'll increase the odds of you finding their respective boss creatures.
5. You buy some Mace or pepper spray and spray yourself before traveling.
6. You keep a close eye on your wallet when around actual midgets. (no offense intended)
7. You keep a close eye on your household appliances, waiting for the day they become sentient and attack.
8. You keep a close eye on people when going anywhere, waiting for one of them to attack.
9. You aren't afraid of normal woodland creatures, finding them too mundane to be a threat.
10. You ask your local bartender about rumors, expecting to go on a wild hunt and be handsomely rewarded for it.
11. You have no qualms about flirting with the local bar wench, but you would never consider actually marrying them.
12. You don't go camping without taking a chainsaw and the strongest armour you have. Oh and speaking of camping...
13. You expect your tent to be alive and large than it actually is on the inside.


 
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Symar
 Sunday, August 23 2009 @ 09:27 PM UTC  
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Quote by: Fergus


13. You expect your tent to be alive and large than it actually is on the inside.



Jumping the gun a little bit, huh?


 
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SicPuess
 Sunday, August 23 2009 @ 09:39 PM UTC  
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Quote by: Symar

Quote by: Fergus


13. You expect your tent to be alive and large than it actually is on the inside.



Jumping the gun a little bit, huh?



14. You go into attack stance upon use of martial metaphors.


 
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Fenrir
 Friday, September 04 2009 @ 03:56 PM UTC  
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I was riding in the car the other day and we drove by a cigar shop.
It was nestled in a strip mall below a large red CIGARS sign.

I remember seeing that sign and thinking about menacing pincers ... and that I have only my fists and they're not even strapped to my back.


 
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James Bond
 Friday, September 04 2009 @ 06:21 PM UTC  
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15. You go tramping through the nearest woods for a couple of hours, expecting to find cameras that give you money.


 
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omenesia
 Saturday, September 05 2009 @ 01:35 AM UTC  
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You've got the Improbable Island Theme Song stuck in your head, but you're too tired to kill it until tomorrow.


Lions. Lions the whole way up.
 
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XaNe
 Saturday, September 05 2009 @ 01:47 AM UTC  
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when you start planning your day based on how many new days you have saved up.


Some people see the glass as half full, some people see it as half empty, I just spit in the cup until it isn't a problem anymore.
 
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Skidge
 Saturday, September 05 2009 @ 02:01 AM UTC  
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When you fully expect any crazy cat ladies you see to give you a chance to gain energy by looking at their cats. Oh, and you do a little dance whenever you see hedgehogs in your backyard.


 
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Anonymous: Escemfer
 Saturday, September 05 2009 @ 03:08 AM UTC  


When you can never feel comfortable at a store, surrounded by all those appliances and pants... watching... waiting...


 
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Anonymous: Chimental
 Saturday, September 05 2009 @ 10:13 PM UTC  


If you think you can cross a mountain or an ocean in a day because you think you have enough stamina.

(Why wouldn't you? You just had a steak.)


 
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XaNe
 Sunday, September 06 2009 @ 02:45 AM UTC  
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When you try and figure out if you have enough charm to get a big enough of a discount so you can afford a bag of chips.

(I actually did this today and was halfway to the counter before I realized what I was doing!)


Some people see the glass as half full, some people see it as half empty, I just spit in the cup until it isn't a problem anymore.
 
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Skidge
 Sunday, September 06 2009 @ 04:54 PM UTC  
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Okay, so let's say you work in a bookstore, yes? And one day your manager does an overnight, and moves the bookshelves around, but you didn't know about it?

You know you've been on II too much when you get confused by the manager's involvement, because of course the bookshelves moved themselves. Didn't they? DIDN'T THEY??!!

Also. If you've taken to patting the bookshelves. And talking to them. And telling people about the great conversation you had with Hamlet the other day. You've gotten a bit too involved in your plotline, don'tchathink?

Not that...I've done any of these things...............**inches away**


 
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Chimental
 Sunday, September 06 2009 @ 06:45 PM UTC  
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Little season one humor

If you think you can go to a construction site and buy a bulldozer with only a pack of cigarettes.


I make the many models of a mutant individual. To make them I use vegetables, animals, and minerals. From robot bugs to zombie bears to many singing barnacles.
 
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Kuroiten
 Wednesday, September 09 2009 @ 09:59 PM UTC  
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...you explain to people that the FailBoat is an actual place and yes, you've been there.


Judging by the chaos, I've been here already.
 
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Syn
 Thursday, September 10 2009 @ 02:32 PM UTC  
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You start dreaming in text, and your nightmares involve typo gremlins turning your meticulously composed dialogue into nothing but a string of random letters.


Alas! The onion you are eating is someone else's water lily.
 
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Duskrunner
 Thursday, September 10 2009 @ 07:21 PM UTC  
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When, while reading a list like this, you say to yourself "there's nothing funny about that." Because you are defensive about doing all of them earlier.


`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves, Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.
 
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Paul Lo
 Friday, September 11 2009 @ 05:39 PM UTC  
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...you wonder why you haven't encountered the Fourth Wall for a while.

A sneaky one it is.


Yes, I have a dream, of electronic sheeps and linen bedsheets. But that's not the point. Or isn't it?
 
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Skidge
 Friday, September 11 2009 @ 05:56 PM UTC  
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When at work, you consider customer interactions to be Jungle battles, display changes to be Quest beasties, and when you're called into the office, you wonder what you did to annoy the Watcher this time.


 
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Stanlygirl
 Friday, September 11 2009 @ 08:20 PM UTC  
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When you begin a paragraph in a business letter with:

Dan: thinks this is a good time for you to...


 
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Chimental
 Saturday, September 12 2009 @ 02:42 AM UTC  
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You go into different restaurants and try to sell them different cuts of meat.

Where did you get the meat? Simple. You tried to skin a bowl of soup.


I make the many models of a mutant individual. To make them I use vegetables, animals, and minerals. From robot bugs to zombie bears to many singing barnacles.
 
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