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Commonly mistaken as a thieving midget bastard1)2) in a Victorian-era red suit with a small red hat, if you were to take a second glance at Akogi before throwing a punch, you'd notice that he is much more charming than most of his thieving cousins and peers. He will only fight using one of two weapons; A trusty chainsaw file which closely resembles a bloody screwdriver3)4) a la Foilwench and his chainsaw, once he can convince Sheila that he is not, in fact, a thieving midget bastard.

He also views himself as a mutant of the midgets, since he spends most of his time in Pleasantville and probably has one of the few mirrors still left unbroken in the town. He uses it just about every day as part of his wake-up routine:

  1. making sure that no one has mistaken him for a sleeping TMB and kicked the shit out of him
  2. styling his hair into a more civilized style5)
  3. applying some lotion onto his tattoos

Over the course of his stay on the island that he tries so desperately to get off of, he has acquired a scar that goes all the way up his right arm, across his chest and about half-way up his neck which is barely noticeable from the suit he is wearing.

Unfortunately, due to being a midget he's shorter than most of the other contestants on the island, standing around 57 cm6) and, like most midgets, gets annoyed when you point out that he is shorter than everyone else7).

The best way to describe Akogi would be as a leprechaun in a red suit, not a green one. He claims he is as improbable as a kittymorph high on catnip but that can be debated before he rolls one of the handy dice that he has on him.

He also has quite a fascination with ducks for some unfathomable reason8)9). So don't be surprised if he says that there isn't enough ducks somewhere, since in his mind he's right, there's never enough ducks. He also has a duck that follows him around who has an attitude of its own and wears a similar red Victorian era suit that Akogi does. He has decided to name his pet duck, Mini-me.

He goes on saying that his mother was a joker and his father was a midget and that he got the good traits of both, the improbability of joker and the height of a midget.

He is currently a leader of Clan QQQ.

Known Abilities

Little things are known about what Akogi can do, since he likes to stay as improbable as possible. The following list is the abilities that people have seen him use over his time on the island.

  1. Midget Rage
  2. His Very Improbable Dice
  3. His Deck of Joker Cards
  4. Pulling Improbable Bombs out of his pockets
  5. Altering Reality 10)
  6. Teleportation 11)
1) Even the Watcher has problems with this every time he is on the failboat
2) He tried getting a sign to avoid the mistake however, the Watcher sent him back to the Island
3) We assume it's blood at least, it feels like it and looks like it anyway
4) New reports show that it is actually chain oil
5) compared to a midget's definition of civilized
6) Two feet and one inch for those who measure themselves in the improbable imperial system
7) He gave a rookie an extra head for doing this
8) It could of been he was knocked on his head a few times as a child
9) Or it could be that he's been in the QQQ clan for too long
10) , 11) There are rumours that he doesn't actually do this
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akogi.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:35 (external edit)