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Scene: Improbable Central

(1d7h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher wanders absentmindedly into the main square, munching happily on what appears to be kumquat after kumquat, which she produces from a shapeless sack.

(1d7h) Explorer Target Practice pads into IC, looking round for someone or something.

(1d7h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher does not, of course, know that the squishy fruits are called kumquats. She has never seen one before in her life. She does know that they are tasy and delicious and OH NO IS THAT A RASH?!?

(1d7h) Explorer Target Practice headtilts at the joker with the bag of. . .whatever they are.

(1d7h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher gives a crazed smile to Target and then stares down at her arm, which is now covered in blotchy red spots. KUMQUAT SPOTS. Target. Arm. Target. Arm. KUMQUAT! Oh she wants another bite. . .

(1d7h) Explorer Target Practice approaches cautiously, looking at the Joker as if she might explode at any moment. Which in his experience, isn't entirely unlikely.

(1d7h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher appraises the situation. The mysterious squishy fruits do not appear to be Joker Food. Or, at least not Sydney Food. She offers the half-eaten fruit to Target.

(1d7h) Explorer Target Practice sniffs the proffered morsel suspiciously. He wrinkles his nose and shakes his head. "Thanks, but I'm good. I don't eat much fruit these days."

(1d7h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher loves fruit! Even though eating it often makes her feel like one of those big-eyed monkeys that she used to watch on TV. She peers over the kumquat, squints at it, and then licks it cautiously.

(1d7h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher's tongue breaks out in hives. She does not appear to notice.

(1d7h) Explorer Target Practice stares at Sydney. "Are you okay? Only, you're not looking so good."

(1d7h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher blinks. "Ob courthe I'bm okaby. Justh th' fool frut giben meh blothes on my armb. Sureh yeh don'b wanth somb?"

(1d7h) Explorer Target Practice nodnodnods. "I'm very sure. Oh, and by the way -completely unrelated subject of course- but did you know that the hospital tent is just over there?" He tries his best to act casual.

(1d7h) Explorer Target Practice fails. ". . .because I didn't until recently, and if I really needed it and didn't know where it was it'd be awful, wouldn't it? Aha. ha ha. ha."

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher's kumquat-riddled monkey eyes go round. "Oh nononono thatb mahn useth duct tabe. 'E as no finnethe. Besidth, it'h onlby my armb."

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher frowns. "Whby ith my tonbgue so itchby?"

(1d6h) Explorer Target Practice nods as the penny drops. "The same reason it's so swollen, I'd guess. And probably the same reason you've got that rash. Do Jokers have doctors?"

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher wonders if the penny was heads or tails? "Iah, ah, Iah don'b knobw. Noboby hebre Iah wabn pokn' mah tobunge. Mebbe Iah'll justh gobo tobake a resth."

(1d6h) Explorer Target Practice figures that at the rate this reaction to the kumquat is going, it's probably going to be sprouting tails. He nods at Sydney. "Can't say I blame you there. I'd get that looked at, though. . ."

(1d6h) Explorer Target Practice continues. ". . .because I'm pretty sure that's not normal - even for a really bad Joker day."

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher twitches her nose and grabs the bag of kumquats. "Mibne! Abll mibne! Don'b toubch mby frubts!"

(1d6h) Explorer Target Practice chuckles. "You're safe there - Kittymorph, remember?" He swishes his tail for effect "We're not really all that big on food that isn't still twitching."

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher clutches the bag of kumuats to her chest protectively. "Frubt," she says, stroking the bag. "Frubt."

(1d6h) <DICE> Ochris rolls into town, knocking limpets off her spent Sun Gun

(1d6h) Explorer Target Practice nods and mutters under his breath: "Yes, that's what I was thinking, too. . ." He smiles brightly at Sydney. "Don't worry, I don't want your fruit!"

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher stares with wide eyes at the newcomer. Another threat to the kumquats! She pulls one from the bag and eats it with grabby little fingers, seemingly compelled to do so. Her tongue swells bigger.

(1d6h) <SPARC>First Sergeant Devorah strolls into town.

(1d6h) <DICE> Ochris rolls towards Sydney and peers at her arms. "You seem to have a rash, Lady Joker."

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher panics! She is surrounded by fruit-threats! She prepares to flee to the Jungle, where she can climb a tree and eat the entire bagfull of kumquats at her leisure! And then procure more!

(1d6h) <SPARC>First Sergeant Devorah heads into Suzie's and comes back out again a minute later with a Carpentry Toolbox under her arm.

(1d6h) <SPARC>First Sergeant Devorah heads out of town in a westward direction.

(1d6h) Explorer Target Practice watches Sydney with interest. It's almost like she's addicted to the strange fruit. He eyes her carefully. Fruit-junkies are probably just as bad as the regular kind. Except more regular.

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher must eat all the kumquats to protect them from the dangerous fruit-thieves! She twitches her monkey-ish eyes and begins stuffing fruits into her mouth faster than she can swallow them.

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher's kumquat-addled brain no longer recognizes the danger of kumquat overdose. She is currently licking kumquat juice from the bench in order not to waste the precious!

(1d6h) Explorer Target Practice looks at the sack. He debates whipping it away and running off with it for the Joker's own good, but the last thing he wants is an angry kumquat-addicted Joker after him for stealing her fix.

(1d6h) <DICE> Ochris intones, "Lady Joker, you risk anaphylaxis." She watches blankly, then apologizes: "This is in your best interest." She rolls forward to take the bag, claws outstretched.

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher clutches the bag! "Noooooooooooh mhy frubt! Mhy frubt!"

(1d6h) Explorer Target Practice sees the unknown robot advancing on Sydney and decides to join in. At least that way she'll then have to split the wrath two ways. He steps forward and holds out his arms.

(1d6h) <DICE> Ochris uses misdirection! She thwops Sydney on the back, hoping to dislodge some of the strange fruits. "My sincerest apologies!" She shouts.

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher's current kumquat is thwoped from her mouth, tumbling to the ground. She scrabble-grabs after it. Must continue consuming kumquats!

(1d6h) Explorer Target Practice sees Sydney scrambling on the ground and lets the Kitty instincts take over. He pounces at the fumbling Joker, doing his best not to land on anything too sensitive.

(1d6h) <DICE> Ochris gesticulates wildly at Target Practice to grab Sydney's bag while she's scrambling.

(1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher is thinking only one thing: kumquat kumquat kumquat!

(1d6h) <DICE> Ochris is shouting and waving her arms. She zips off toward the hospital tent, beeping loudly.

Nearby (1d6h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher takes this opportunity to eat three more fruits. Whole.

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice wobbles under a mighty blow from a passing chunk of wall and grabs at the bag.

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris finally fights her way back from the hospital tent, knocking lag gremlins left and right. She's brandishing a syringe like a knife.

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher sees something long and pointy and struggles wildy under Target, wailing something incomprehensible that may just be, "Fruuuuuuubbbbt. . ."

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice clings on to the struggling joker for dear life as she thrashes in a fruit-induced frenzy underneath him.

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris jabs Sydney's thigh and injects the contents of the syringe. "It is okay! I made sure the needle was sterile!" She shouts, misinterpreting Sydney's concern.

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher screeches in a distinctly simian manner, and then goes limp, a half-eaten kumquat slipping from her fingers.

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice feels Sydney go limp and steps off her gently. He turns to the robot. "What was that?"

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne skips into Improbable Central and heads into the Prancing Spider Kitty.

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris pat-pats Sydney's leg. "You may experience a burning sensation. This is normal. You have been injected with 0.3 mg epinephrine to counteract anaphylaxis."

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne skips back out again, muttering, "Right. . . Squat Hole. That's where it's supposed to be.."

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice waves to Lynne as she passes.

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne notices the limp figure of the Joker. "Uh. . .what's going on?"

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne waves to Target, with a confused look on her face.

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher woozily opens one eye, the kumquat-craze fading. "Enugh. Whby dobes mby moubth taste so bad. . . ?"

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris fidgets. "We should take her to the hospital tent while she is not fighting." She answers Lynne. "Nothing! Nothing. Just fruit poisoning. We didn't do it."

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice instinctively steps in front of the joker in an attempt to hide it. Of course he fails to do so. "Erm. . .nothing. She was sick. Ate some bad fruit. May have had to restrain her a little."

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice surreptitiously kicks the bag of kumquats under a bench, out of sight.

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher's eyes seem to light up at the mention of fruit, and her hand searches feebly of its own accord for a lost kumquat.

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne raises an eyebrow and leans to one side to try to look past Target. "Bad fruit did this to her?"

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris nods. "She ingested ugly oranges." She turns to Sydney. "You overdosed on ugly oranges, Lady Joker."

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne reaches under the bench to grab the bag of kumquats.

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne pulls out a kumquat to examine it more closely.

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice shrugs. "I'm only assuming it's bad fruit. The more fruit she ate, the crazier she was getting. Good job our robot friend here showed up when she did or who knows what might have happened."

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher shakes her head, which makes a spinny feeling inside. "Nuh uh. Weren't oranges. Too small. Too tasty."

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne puts the kumquat up to her nose and sniffs. She wrinkles her nose.

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice grins. Lynne's reaction mirrors his own when sniffing the fruit. "Don't smell edible to me either."

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne drops the kumquat back into the bag and puts the bag back under the bench. She pokes at it with her toe.

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher rolls over and throws up violent orange kumquat-juice all over the ground. "Ughph. . ."

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris presses a pill into Sydney's hand. "A long acting antihistamine. Non-soporific." She turns to Target Practice and tips her helmet slightly. "Just doin' my job, sir."

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris's job is usually avoiding trouble or cleaning, she must be mistaken.

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice acks and leaps backwards, away from the foul-smelling liquid. "That's not good."

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne backs up a bit from the vomiting Joker and looks at her worriedly. "She going to be okay?"

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher sits up and takes the pill, shaking her head to clear it. "I, uh, I'm not quite sure what just happened. But thank you both." She nods to Ochris. "I'm Sydney." That's her name, right?

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice nods at Sydney, being careful to avoid the still-there puddle of orange goo.

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris begins to shrug then realizes she's supposed to be on top of the situation. "Yes, with 90% confidence. I am Ochris."

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne still looks a little worried.

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris chides Sydney. "You should not eat something if you are not sure that it is food." She's not convinced that the ugly oranges are even edible, anyway.

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher tries to stand on jelly-legs, and collapses back to the ground. "Oh." She looks surprised. "Could one of you maybe help me back to the clan halls?"

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice smiles at the two, more than a little relieved at the apparent resolution to the situation. "I'm Target." He looks at Lynne. "You ok? You look a little. . .nervous."

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher says, "But they were so tasty."

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne nods. She kicks the bag of kumquats again to make sure they are really far under the bench and out of sight. "She does seem like she'll be ok. . .I was just a bit worried.."

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice grins at Lynne. "You're far too nice, you know that?" He turns to Sydney. "Right you, shall we get you back to the clan halls?" He offers a paw.

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris hoists Sydney up to lean on her shoulder. "Pleased to meet you, Target. Ochris." She repeats, then continues nagging at Sydney. "I hope The Wayfarer's Gambit has a medic?"

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne grins at Target. "No harm in being nice when it's safe.. I can be perfectly not nice when need be." "She grins wider.

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher mumbles something from her new standing vantage-point. "I should be able t'man'ge. . .bed. . ." She floppily points in the Hall direction. "S'that'a way. . ."

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice chuckles. "Well I most certainly hope I'm not around for that." He retracts his paw, seeing Ochris has the situation under control. Again. His ego shrivels a fraction.

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice, had he realised the timing, would clarify that his last was aimed at Lynne, and not Sydney.

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne grins again. "Don't worry, you won't be.. as long as you don't attack me or anything." She raises an eyebrow.

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris gestures with her free arm towars Target. "Could you get her other arm?"

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice smiles. "No problem. And don't you be listening to those liars that claim fruit is good for you!"

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice takes Sydney's other arm and drapes it round his shoulders. "Lead the way."

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher squashes a viceral fruit-reaction. No. No more ugly oranges.

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris whrrs as she begins to wheel towards Hope's Clan Hall. She glances at Sydney. "I do not wish to have your emesis oxidizing my gears. . ." She mumbles instead of "Please don't barf on me."

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher nods, her head lolling as she staggers off between Ochris and Target, leaving the bag of kumquats firmly behind her.

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne waves to the trio as they head off toward the Clan Halls. "See you later!"

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice would have agreed if he knew what Ochris was talking about. Instead, he offers: "Yeah, and I'd rather not have to clean orange joker goo out of my fur, too." He stops. "This the building?"

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne grabs the bag of kumquats out from under the bench, and stuffs them in her backpack. Maybe she can use them as a weapon later. Offline (1d5h) Explorer Target Practice waves over his shoulder at Lynne. "Take care!"

(1d5h) <DICE> Ochris hmms. "I believe so." She knocks on Hope's door (if there is some metaphorical meaning there, it is lost on her) and waits to hand Sydney over.

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne skips out of town and heads towards Squat Hole.

(1d5h) <Hope>Sydney Fletcher gives a little hoot, and a large bed comes hopping out. It slides under her, carefully taking her weight, and disappears with her back inside. Syd gives a little grin goodbye as the door closes.

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice waves at Sydney and turns to Ochris. "I'd best be headed up to AceHigh, myself. There's plenty I needed to do today, even before jokers started getting high on fruit."

(1d5h) Explorer Target Practice departs towards the gates with a nod and a grin. "I'll see you around sometime!"

(1d5h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne skips back into town, the head of a quest monster in her backpack. She heads into the pub to claim her reward.

(1d4h) <SUGAR>Huggable Lynne heads out of the pub with the jingle of req in her pocket. After safely depositing her reward in the bank, she heads out to Kittania.

(1d4h) <DICE> Ochris waves belatedly at Target's retreating back. "Goodbye! See you around!"

(1d4h) <DICE> Ochris stares awkwardly at the rookie in the stocks for a long moment before (snikt!) helping him out of them.

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beware_the_kumquats.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)