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Harris and Marly, sittin' in a tree...

Harris Eugene(?) Doubledon has been sweet on the onetime shopkeep1)2), onetime head GERMan, ofttime sheepy-thing for longer than he knows. Once he figured it out, he did what any sensible chap would do; he wrote to the advice column of The Enquirer.

The middle of the beginning has been lost to time3). BUT, it included leaving no stone unturned, soliciting Rookies for advice, and building the moon! Honest. We now return you to the story, already in progress.

A Marc is Consulted, and Giveneth Consultation


[02h03m]Harris is frog-marched into NewHome by a pair of disinterested Failors. Thrown onto his face before he can finish opening his mouth for a "Thank you!", the lanky Kittymorph skids a bit before the reflexes of his servo arms have caught and pushed him upright.
[02h03m]Serra grumbles to herself, taking a couple hundred tokens out. Setting herself to the task, she explores each and every building and structure around.
[02h02m]Marly's hands are pressing her ears flat against her head. "Lalalalalalalalala NewHome is full of newwwbs Ohdammitall." She was doing so good, too. Her face is screwed up into a scowl, eyes shut as she almost runs into... "Waah!" Nevermind. Does.
[02h02m]Harris grins toothily, dirt spilling out of his smile even as he tips his hat to a grumbling woman, replaces said headgear, and takes off running.
[02h00m]Marc stares at the catman, from his spot sitting against a tree. He questions himself if he's having delusions, or if there are actual metal arms protruding from his friggin' back. He gawps.
[02h00m]Marly, having tumbled, remains sitting on the ground. "Ow..." She runs a hand over her forehead, then pats her rump. Does it hurt? Does it... Yes, she decides, it does. "Ouch."
[01h58m]Serra doesn't gawp at the sight of the cat person. Brief glance, don't trust that, moving on. Nothing useful that she didn't know about in the north quadrant. Moving on to the east.
[01h55m]Serra me pops into the comms tent and the strategy hut, only buildings she hasn't been in. Also nothing useful. Next bunch.

[01h54m]Harris legs it back in to the town, skidding hard on his heels this time, arms pinwheeling. "Ack!"
[01h54m]Marc stands himself up, hands cupped over unmentionables. He grimaces at the white haired lady, walking briskly over to her "Are you alright?"
[01h53m]Harris knows not about white-haired women's well-being, but he, is in fact, well. Found a nice stiff tree root to break his fall.
[01h50m]Marly blinks up at Marc. "Oh, probably, except where it matters." She gets to her feet slowly, with a wince. "Always running into trouble. Question is, how's Mr. Harris." She looks around for the kittymorph.
[01h50m]Harris says "fhrbgmph."
[01h49m]Marc blinks "Who?"
[01h48m]Marc blinks again, this time at the catman "What?"
[01h47m]Harris's servo arms unfold from his back again, this time to sign to the young dark man. 'Bugger,' they explain.
[01h45m]Marc recoils slightly "...Huh?" Is everyone around here a clutz?
[01h44m]Marly gives a sort of wincing sympathy look at the catman. "Here, help me unfold him. Form before social function." She makes her way over to him, head tilting as she looks at him. "Maybe if we lift that leg, it'll untangle from the arm?"
[01h42m]Marc frowns, reluctantly following the woman to the catman "A-Are legs supposed to bend that way?"
[01h55m]Harris's servo arms sign to no-one in particular, 'Good luck unfolding his head from his cavernous ass. Many have tried. None have succeeded.'
[01h53m]Marly's mouth twitches. "Probably not." She doesn't seem overly concerned, though, as she starts to unwind him. "Pull here?" She motions to one of the servo arms.

[01h51m]Harris's right servo arm signs, 'Oi. See he- Oh. Good day. Who is your new friend?' It points cartoonishly at Marc.
[01h49m]Marc cautiously lift Harris' tail, assuming this freak of nature has a second head somewhere. He quickly puts it back when he sees no head. He nods to the woman "Oh, uh..." His hands hover over the steel "D-Do I have to touch it?"
[01h49m]Marc lifts, even.
[02h34m]Marly smiles brightly at the servos, turning up the charm past 11. "New friend, we'll give out introductions and business cards once some Dignity has been obtained." She looks at Marc again. "Oh yes, but politely. They can get... terse."
[02h33m]Marly would have said snippy, rude, offensive, and reveal your deepest insecurities in an insult directed to your face, but they're right there. And she's still not comfortable with her floppy ears right now.
[02h32m]Harris himself, has meanwhile been limply making dirt angels. When your hat is stuck as tightly as his is, eventually you simply discontinue polite conversation attempts, and await rescue.
[02h33m]Marc gulps "Terse huh?" He glances left, then right, then takes the plunge, yanking the arm lightly.
[02h31m]Marly meanwhile grabs hold of his shoulder, braces one booted foot against the tree, and says, "On the count of three... THREE!" She yanks, kicks, and yerrrgs all at once.
[02h29m]Marc pulls on command, but gains no leeway, before bracing his feet in the dirt and tugging with all his might.
[02h28m]Harris is swung backward by the force, his hat thrown into the air. Arms swinging wildly again until he spots his flying hat, green eyes narrow and two gauntleted hands fly up to snatch it at the apex of it arc, and bring it back squarely to his head.
[02h25m]Marly lets go as she lands flat on her butt once more. "Success!" is proclaimed, however, and she rises once more.

[02h25m]Harris greets Marc brightly. "Hallo! Harris Doubledon, atcher service!" A mechanized gauntleted hand is thrust toward to young man by way of introduction.
[02h24m]Harris's left servo offers her itself. His right signs things that are not convetionally taught in American Sign language classes at its owner.
[02h21m]Marly takes the servo hand up and dusts herself off. "Marly," she says, offering her hand to Marc as well. "Sheep extraordinaire." A floppy ear twitches and she looks down at her boots. "In between at the moment, though."
[02h21m]Marc sighs, relieved that the man is free, though still wary of the "terse" arms. And then one's shoved at him. He flinches, taking a step to flee mechanized murder, before he notices the gesture. He slowly raises his arm to shake "M-Marc Theel. Hi."
[02h19m]Marc shakes Marly's as well, with less hesitation. "Nice to meet you m'am"
[02h18m]Marly brings out the bright smile again. "Pleased to meet you, Marc! What brings you to our sunny Island?"
[02h18m]Harris's gauntleted arms are both furry, and as such, do not seem to be the same as the ones indicated by the white-haired lady Marly. His thumb hangs a bit loosely, but the handshake feels normal (if a bit exuberant).
[02h16m]Harris nods hard. "You are new! I knew it- You've only one of you!" His head stop bobbing for a furtive glance around before asking in a stage whisper, "Yes. How'd you get here? And have I overturned all the stones? have ytou seen any?"
[02h15m]Marc stares at Marly for a long moment, wondering if he's at the butt of some joke. "The um, the planes."
[02h14m]Marly keeps smiling and nodding. "Oh, good. Me, too. Sometimes you get ones that..." And here the smile falters a little and the stare goes long into the distance. "Anyways. Enjoying yourself yet?"
[02h12m]Marc slowly nods "Yes, I'm new. I fell out of a plane, I think? But uh, what stones?"
[02h10m]Marc raises an eyebrow towards Marly. Enjoying myself? "...No?"
[02h08m]Harris casts a sidelong glance at Marly before tipping his hat to her, and continuing. "Link your own to a computer, and you get some, I hear. Of course, there's the mountain. So far, I've found mud, worms, and an Officer's Club. " He leans in close.
[02h06m]Harris whispers, "Am I doing it right? What am I looking for? The equilbrium of effluviance of the even horizon tells me nothing. And the paperboy won't come by anymore!!"
[02h05m]Marc opens his mouth to reject the notion of a computer being nearby, but then wisely shuts it. The thing's obviously delusional.
[02h08m]Marly glances up at Harris's servos before clearing her throat. "Yes, quite." She gives Marc a long look. "Mr. Doubledon, I think this is one of the still-sane ones." Oh dear, says part of her mind sympathetically. Oh fun, says another, happier part.
[02h07m]Marc considers the questions, then gives the only answer he could think of. "Fourty-two."
[02h05m]Harris pauses.
[02h02m]Marc clears his throat then says to Marly "Uh, yeah. Very still-sane."
[02h01m]Marly stares. "Fourty-two? Well, sir, I think you have your answer. Marc... Theel, right?"
[01h59m]Harris sweeps Marc up in a fierce four-armed hug. "Ha-HA! By Jove my boy, I think you've done it!" he chortles gleefully, setting the youg man down just as abruptly. With a graceful turn and tip of the hat to Marly, the blue-grey Kittymorph jogs off.
[01h58m]Harris has a president to kidnap.
[01h57m]Marc nods "Quite right. And, I guess I do" He guesses it was probably a bad answer, assuming illogical answers went to illogical questions. Ah, well...
[01h56m]Marc is hugged. Maybe not so bad...

[01h55m]Marly watches Harris leave with a wistful gaze. As soon as he turns the corner of the gate, she smiles at Marc again. "You've a talent, it seems. Well, everyone does. But it'll be interesting how you go. I do mean it, though, are you having fun yet?"
[01h54m]Marly babbles on, "They really should ask you that as soon as you reach the gate, or when you get to the med tent for the first time. But they never do. It's all 'so sorry you're stuck here' and 'gimme yer req' and no fun at all."
[01h54m]Marly falls silent, a bit self consciously.
[01h52m]Marc glances down at his uncovered genitalia, over to the looming doom that is the Jungle, and into the sky where he was ripped away from friends and family "You know...I think I am."
[01h50m]Harris's distant cries of "Ow! Bad birdie! No! OUCH!" followed by "squwak squwak swquak!" and Lightning Gunfire can be heard from the jungle.
[01h50m]Marly follows his gaze down, then snaps it back up. "Oh, good. By the way, if you head north, there's this place by Improbable Central called Soup & Pants." She clears her throat. "Good that you're having fun. What will you do?"
[01h48m]Marc winces at the gunfire. "Whatever I can not to end up like that."
[01h47m]Marly pauses to listen to the lightning fire. A sad face. The face of one who has been informed that there is a really fun game on, but her cable is out.
[01h43m]Marc smiles nervously at her frown. Freaking nutters, both of them.

[01h38m]Marly is a Joker, she'd say if asked. Of course she's nutter. She's also rather fond of a good scrap. She gives mark a wide, toothy grin. "Hmm, careful then. Most everything is dangerous. Learned that in a chemistry class."
[01h37m]Marly falls silent, only to lift a finger and add, "Oh, and never eat anything bigger than your head." She nods, most crucial bit of wisdom now delivered. Marc is now ready to face Life, The Jungle, and Everything That is Not the Watcher.
[01h36m]Marc blinks "How could I possibly..." He shakes his head "Thanks for the tips. But how can you trust chemistry..." He makes a broad gesture of the landscape "Here?"
[01h34m]Marly blinks. "Same way you trust chance." She sticks her hands in her pockets and rocks back and forth on her heels. How to put this. "Things can be themselves, they can be things like themselves, but they can't be anything not themselves. For long."
[01h32m]Marc cocks his head "So...I can't?"
[01h30m]Marly frowns. "Well, you can. Within reason." She doesn't mention that reason might not be our reason, or particularly quantifiable, or definable, or existential at any given moment for a value of OH GOD MY EYEBROWS. But them's the beakers.
[01h27m]Marly looks at him brightly. "Do you have an interest in Chemistry? Where are you from, what did you do?"
[01h26m]Marc nods, assuming she's just spouting more nonsense "Of course, of course." He mutters under his breath "where's the asylum when you need it..."
[01h25m]Marly doesn't hear that. She's just smiling extra wide right now for no reason.
[01h20m]Marc, unnerved by nearly all of her facial expressions now, quickly adds "S-So you could run it! Yeah! I mean, they'd need a clear head to judge so many people you know? Yeah." He coughs, then returns to nervous smiling Oh god please don't murder me wi
[01h18m]Marc with an axe or something!

[01h17m]Marly shakes her head. "No thanks. The inmates have the best parties, though, I'll be one of them." She leans in a little. "Was asking about you, though."
[01h14m]Marc furrows his brow "Asking what about me?"
[01h13m]Marly repeats her question. Chemistry? Where's he from, what did he do?
[01h06m]Marc nods "Oh, right. No, not really a "sciency" guy. And I'm from the good old US of A. I was actually just a...Um..." Fry cook "Chef! Yes. At a five star restaraunt" At HappyBurger..."
[01h04m]Marly looks delighted. "Oh, awesome! I was just a fast food worker myself, before coming here." On the lam from her rich parents, but what's an inheritance or two? "Chef is so awesome, though. Real food, not button pushing. Mm."
[01h02m]Marly's eyes light up. This man knows food. He knows food. "Maybe, maybe I can have you show me how to cook some time." As in, he cooks, she eats, and thanks him politely. Then scampers before paying the check.
[01h01m]Marc nods, puffing out his chest slightly "Ah, yes. I served the president a few times. He said the same thing. "Chef is so awesome."
[56m19s]Marly nods. Of course he would. "Alright, it's a deal. You'll cook and I'll get you some chemistry sets. Nice doing business with you." She smiles brightly and collects her fallen backpack. "Well, must be off!"
[54m54s]Marc blinks "Wait, what? No, I want like, a gun!"
[53m43s]Marly calls back over her shoulder, "Fine, I'll get you gum, too! HARD BARGAIN, SIR. HARD AS A ROCK."
[51m45s]Marc shouts after her "No! Gun! Gee-Ooo-Enn!!" He sighs. Too late. He waves belatedly, then wanders off.

An Opportunity is Entirely Missed, and Our Hero Remains Evasive

~~~Cyber City 404~~~

[12h13m]Marly is atop the walls, peering at the innards of a malfunctioning turret. The turret, mind you, would say that it is not malfunctioning through a static-electric huff. This would not and frequently does not convince
[12h11m]Marly, who has taken to wearing rubber boots while working on Elvina. "You just keep on... turreting, sweetheart, I'm just checking out your figures. That's all." The turret whirrs, a sharp, grating, somehow indignant sound, in response.
[12h12m]Marly quickly pulls back her fingers. "None of that sharpy-'lectric stuff." Elvina stays still. Marly watches.
[12h10m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice watches as well, face peeking over a particularly large pile of scrap near the wall. Watching finally bores him, so he asks "Hwhatcher doin?"

[12h06m]Marly nearly slices her hand on Elvina's sharp turret-parts, she's jumped so much. "Jesus Christian Martial Artist! The flipper did you do that for," she asks, turning to find the speaker. She spots him at last and stares. "Oh."
[12h03m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice looks at his flipper for a second, wondering what it did. Not finding anything suspicious about it, he moves onto the matter at hand: "Hyz nart Jeezhhus Chrischan Hhhwhatevuhs hyuuz sed. Hye ihz Dhhrt."
[12h00m]Marly looks him over. "Yes you most certainly are. When's the last time you had a bath that wasn't in the blood and guts of your enemies with bubbles of their own bile?"
[11h57m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice tilts his head at the question, milky eyes bulging out of their sockets in lieu of blinking. Were he a natural denizen of the outpost, he would say Does Not Compute. Explain Quantity: Bath. But he's not a robot, he's
[11h57m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice, so he goes "Hwhuzzer ghkatt?" instead.
[11h55m]Marly considers carefully how to say it. She takes in the sharp teeth and bulging eyes. She considers her fondness for her fingers and contemplates, for one moment, the rolling of a die to see which way she should go with this one. And then,
[11h54m]Marly just says 'ah screw it' and asks, "You know how rum is?"
[11h54m]Harris sits atop one of the lightning turrets atop the Outpost walls, sucking his teeth. The turret continues to orient on the distant target all of the turrets have homed in on, reacting to a stolid Kittymorph rider not at all.
[11h52m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice nods, facial bone hitting a bit of refrigerator and causing it to tumble down the heap. He knows rum is, what it tastes like, how it makes people not want to vomit as much when in his presence.
[11h51m]Harris knows well how rum is. Its current state: Fine, thank you. (at least, it last he asked). He is not sharing this information right now, due to being preoccupied by staring off at something in the same directing the turrets continue tracking.
[11h49m]Marly says, "It's exactly like that and not like that at all. But at least you'll get a little umbrella?" She's hoping that little umbrellas are a good incentive. They would be for her. Meanwhile, Elvina turns to ignore
[11h47m]Marly, neatly banging her on the head. "Ow!" She turns to glare at the lightening turret, but a kittymorph perched on another one further down the wall catches her eye. "Mr. Harris, do you like little umbrellas?"
[11h45m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice has never found a tiny umbrella in his rum, no, though he has found a miniature sword in his gin once. It was perfect for having a small swordfight with Ian before moving onto the slightly larger swords.
[11h43m]Marly would be rather sad for Dirt if she knew this, and would then proceed to make him the girliest drink that ever conformed to female stereotypes. But with extra rum to make it even better and maybe tolerable, once you got past the layer of glitter foam.
[11h42m]Harris bends his neck backward to look at the Marly, head wagging a bit as his perch continues to twitch, now stuttering out a laser sight, now not. "Yes- when there enough available."
[11h40m]Marly is pleased by this, as if her life choices have been validated. All of them, even the time she decided to let the molasses dry in her hair and went to the beach to make sand angels. "Tiny umbrellas are fun." She pauses, looking between the two.

[11h39m]Marly hesitates, then asks, "What are you two doing, anyways?" No one comes to CC404. Unless they like starving, or Dan has sent them on yet another quest.
[11h37m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice clambers off the scrap pile and onto the walls proper, leaking viscous body fluid that blends disturbingly well with the motor oil everywhere. "Hye hhwerz gettin uh snek." A flipper-claw flaps in a southerly direction.
[11h50m]Harris nods upside-down. It looks uncomfortable. "Feels much more gratifying when you can land with 'em than with a regular one. Damn difficult to hold onto, though, even with an extra set of hands."
[11h49m]Harris's servo arms unfold themsleves from his back to suggest something vulgar and very violent to the back of Harris' head.
[11h47m]Marly pats the turret invitingly. "Come land over here, eh?" She eyes Dirt and shuffles. "A snack?" Harris has a knack for exits. If it turns out snack=sheep, she's in good hands. Elvina, meanwhile, fumes grey smoke out of a vent in irritation.
[11h43m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice doesn't enjoy eating sheep that much; the wool gets stuck in his throat and then he has to stick his arms inside his chest cavity to wrench it out and his organs go everywhere and all the people are screaming bloody murder. Besides,
[11h42m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice already had his snack. Great place just a few klicks south. "Der gun ihz on ghirr." A claw points at the smoke venting out of Elvina.
[11h39m]Marly follows the pointing claw and does a double take. "What? Oh, no, she's just peeved at me because I'm telling Harris to sit on her." She gropes under the turret for a moment, then pulls a wire down. Inside, a small fan whirrs and the smoke clears.
[11h38m]Marly looks pleased with herself. "I found that trick out by flailing around inside during a heavy onslaught one day."

[11h35m]There is a sound of gunshots from somewhere above the outpost, a distant screech, then the sound fo something hurtling towards the earth. Something crashed into a pile of scrap at a pretty swift speed, and makes no other sound.
[11h34m]Harris looks sheepishly at the sheep-lady. "I would, but my umbrellas are a bit spent. I don't think I'd make the leap." His left servo gestures toward the now-apparent tiny umbrellas lying about he and his turret perch. Hundreds, all smouldering.
[11h33m]Harris sits up to peer over at the new arrival curiously. "Yes, yes it would be rather like that, I 'd wager."
[11h31m]Marly looks sad at this, then jumps once more at sudden noise. She clambers atop Elvina herself and peers into the outpost below, watching for a followup or a fire or the collapse of the pile. "...Oh."
[11h31m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice doesn't look at the object that just crash landed; he's preoccupied with the hunk of shrapnel that's now sticking through his midriff. "Huh did dat?" he inquires, neck bending backwards to get a look.
[11h29m]Half-Dead Remy lies somewhere beneath a pile of rubble, all askew. He seems to have something rammed through one of his already broken, heavily-splinted arms. He takes a breath thick with fluid filling one of his lungs. "Did.. I... Kill.. it?"
[11h28m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice says "Nuh."
[11h27m]Half-Dead Remy nods stiffly at Dirt's reply, despite that eh probably can't see it from his position. "Can.. Anyone... help me.. out..?" He doesn't seem capable of getting out of this pile of his own volition.
[11h26m]Harris says "Pay him no mind. You did. I see no gull here at all. He is gotten." He nods sagely as the agitated turret waves him back and forth like a buoy.
[11h24m]Harris would, but it seems all four of his arms are currently preoccupied by keeping him seated on a moving lighting turret.
[11h24m]Half-Dead Remy remarks, "Bigger... than.. seagull..." More like an archaepetrex, since it lifted him there. Not that he'd know the difference. "I.. Know... You..." His slightly milky eyes finally settled on Harris's image.
[11h23m]Marly looks a bit paler at this bigger talk. "Like a rukh?"
[11h21m]Half-Dead Remy blinks, one eyes at a time. "What... is.." HE stops to take another gross breath, "- a Ruhk?"

[11h28m]Half-Dead Remy has enough strength left to shoot the typo gremlin kicking him while he's down. Fuck you, buddy.
[11h27m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice attempts to dislodge the large piece of metal from himself, banging on it with what looks like a small stone; it's actually a calcified heart. "Ih's dose hhnekkid ghkugguhs hhhwhut ghne in NuhHuhgh."
[11h27m]Marly flaps her hands like little wings. "Big bird. Picks up elephants like they was chicks at the club, but then drops em and eats em." She flaps a bit more.
[11h24m]Harris's eyes finally focus. "Harris Doubledon, atcher service sir!" He tips his Stetson to the rather buried zombie, then tips it to Deity of Choice. "-and yours, Si... Ma... That!" He is in mid doff of hat and bow to Marly when she speaks.
[11h23m]Harris shrieks "ALBATOSS?" and falls right off his turret.
[11h23m]Half-Dead Remy flops a hand weakly in an unspecific gesture. "Something... Like... That.. Don't... Know.." Skkkkkkiiii That breathing... "Where.. it was.. taking me... Shot it." He tries to point at Harris. "From... Acehigh... Roof... Rooster.."
[11h22m]Marly squawks and leans over the wall. "Harris?!" Did he fall off the wall, what happened, why do things keep happening in CC404 today. What happened to just monsters and walls breaking.

[11h20m]Half-Dead Remy points at nothing when Harris drops. "Please.. don't.. die now. Must... intro..duce... myself... Finally..." Geez, everyone's a mess today, aren't they?
[11h18m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice laughs a throaty, buzzsaw-in-a-washing-machine king of laugh. "Catzzes serghkosed tuh hhland on der gheetsses!" Finally extricating the metal from his person, he tosses it back onto the pile that it came from.
[11h17m]Harris is not a mess, thank you. He is a great ad-ven-chure-er. As such, he knew excatly when to twist in the air, and thanks to that knowledge (and catlike reflexes!), land squarely on his spine. On waiterbot. Who was on an errand.
[11h16m]Marly takes a deep breath and slides down the junk pile. "Incoming!" She swerves at just the right moment to send a particularly rusted pile of cans flying and come to a stop right by Remy. And by stopping, it is generally understood to mean "falling."
[11h15m]Marly rubs a sore elbow. "Out of practice. Okay, sir, here's a hand, please pull and try not to come apart while being extracated."
[11h14m]Waiterbot, instincts also finely tuned machines, begins to croon out an extremely tinny rendition of "Some Enchanted Evening".
[11h13m]Harris begins to scream.
[11h12m]Half-Dead Remy hears screaming. Sight not excellent at the moment, he is disoriented by the sound. He musters his strength to flail helplessly toward Marley. It's abit liek a fish who's been out of water for the last three minutes and hasn't got much fight left.
[11h09m]Marly grabs his arm and yanks the flailing fishy Remy. "Can we all please take numbers before we have crisis? Get in... erf, line? Harris screaming, people in piles, piles in Dirt." Although he seems to be just fine, she notes.
[11h07m]Half-Dead Remy gets a grip on Marley once she touches him and gently holds on. His fingers are stiff and rigid as is more of teh rest of him (get your mind out of the gutter) but he seems to be careful not to vice grip her arms. He wobbles to his feet, eventually.
[11h07m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice lumbers down the scrap pile to laugh in Harris' face. He is just fine. Until he trips on a Rice Cooker and joins the Kittymorph and his lovely date on the ground.
[11h02m]Harris's spastic thrashing at the prospect of spending more quality time with the hard-working waiter is successful in kicking it away just as it has extruded a spindly arm from a panel in its side to put a rose in Remy's oozing calf (...for atmosphere).
[11h01m]Waiterbot tumbles, rights itself, and trundles away, grumbling tinnily that romance is dead.

[11h06m]Half-Dead Remy is having enough difficulty stayign standing, he didn't need that. In fact the force was enough to push him back over on his back like a turtle. Fuck.
[11h04m]Marly topples into the pile, narrowly missing a thrashing Harris leg. "Watch it!"
[11h01m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice clambers out of the Zombie-pile, bones making wet popping noises as he puts them back where they're supposed to be. "Aw, hhwhyz hyuuz gots ter ghneh so ghnean?" he asks Harris, tossing the rose at him.
[11h01m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice says "He jhhest hwunted ter hhlurrrv hyuuz."
[10h59m]Harris sits up, dusts his fur off, straightens his hat, and examines his two new neighbors. "Gatsby's balls but you two smell hallucinogenically ripe." He grins (he hopes) disarmingly at Marly. "Sorry Miss Marly."
[10h58m]Marly rubs the other elbow, now part of a matching set. "Forgiven, but at this rate you'll owe me dinner again."
[10h57m]Harris pulls a face at the Salted Sea Spawn. "Androids may dream of electric feet, but I doubt any dream of Kittymorph."
[10h56m]Half-Dead Remy tries to point at Harris again, not bothering to get back up. "Mister... Harris... I am.. called... Remy. I can.. tell you.. now."
[10h52m]Harris offers one pair of hands to the zombie, and the other pair to the sheep-cum-Joker lady. "How do you do, Remy." he intones gravely. "My name is Yon Yonson, I come from Wisconsin, I work in a lumbermill there..."
[10h52m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice pokes Remy a bit, looking around for any stray organs that might've fallen out of either of them. "Hwhyz dey dream ghkout gheet? Ihz ghkorin."

[10h51m]Harris interrupts himself by slammming his face into a handy motherboard. "Ow. Sorry. Up, then?"
[10h49m]Marly takes the proffered hand. "Up."
[10h46m]Half-Dead Remy weakly takes one of Harris's hands in an attempt to handshake. It's more of hand-hold. None of his organs seemed ot have spilled out, as technically, he's still alive and in one piece. Many broken pieces like a bag of meat, but together outside.
[10h43m]Harris would be fascinated to learn that he is conversing with a living sausage- but that is another story, and for another time. "Up", he agrees, and heaves on both of them.
[10h40m]Harris exhales sharply. "Dunno why feet maybe they're always so moody and distant because they really want to play hopscotch-"
[10h39m]Living-Sausage Remy wobbles back up, being fairly light. He almost goes to far forward and has to steady himself on Harris awkwardly for a moment, to avoid fully falling on top of him.
[10h39m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice converses with living sausages all the time. And living hamburger and living flank steak. In fact, he's talking to one right now. "Hogkscartch? Hwhuh kynna hhwhiskey dat ghke?"
[10h33m]Harris says "Effervescent personality?"
[10h33m]Harris's servos, as they often do, save the day even as their owner is distracted. Remy is righted firmly but carefully, and right as rain.
[10h32m]Marly makes sure to smile at the servos. A tad nervously, but all the same.

[10h39m]Living-Sausage Remy stiffly nods his thanks to the arms, as if they know. For all he can see right now, that was another person. "How.. Am I.. Going to.. Get... Back.. Home?" A distressing thought.
[10h36m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice helpfully suggests "Get der ghkurd tur ghhetz hyuuz h'agen?" It's not the most reliable form of air travel, but it's cheaper than getting launched out of a catapult by a Midget who may've just used it as a toilet.
[10h34m]Living-Sausage Remy takes a sickly breath to reply, "I don't.. think it... wants.. to do.. me any.. favors.. after... shooting it..." He does look thoughtfully at the sky anyway.
[10h32m]Harris's ears flatten. "Now, now you've done it. In this place, that's almost as bad as saying 'What's the worst that could happenfuckmeIsaidit"
[10h31m]Living-Sausage Remy's gaze makes it's way back down to Harris. "Mm... Not.. Scared..." Good, because you should be. Is there a sound of wing beats on the air again?
[10h31m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice is normally the worst thing that could happen.
[10h28m]The blazing sun is suddenly cooled. Darkness has fallen, and the sky is missing behind blackness. The four organic lifeforms realize that it hasn't been the ocean they've been listening to.
[10h28m]Living-Sausage Remy notices the change in light and gazes skyward again instead of at Harris. What's happening now? He didn't black out again, right?
[10h27m]Marly looks nervous as she glances up at the sky. She decides that grabbing on tightly to Harris's arm is a good idea.
[10h27m]Harris's eyes go very, very wide, and his knees actually knock. "I told you. Albatoss."
[10h26m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice thought it was the sloshing liquid in his chest cavity, not the ocean. He doesn't bother looking up. Instead, he takes the opportunity to rifle through the others' pockets.

[10h24m]Great, webbbed feet the size of hamlets reach down to scoop up Harris and the two hapless bystanders grabbing and being (still) grabbed by him. Kittymorph, Zombie and Joker are carried off by the biggest damn bird The Deity of Choice has ever seen.
[10h23m]Dirt comes up with a piece of twine, a hankie wrapped around a piece of cheese, and a pair of fake teeth latched onto his claws for his pains to rifle through Marly's pockets.
[10h22m]Living-Sausage Remy's head tilts sideways, just a little, having lost much range of motion by way of swelling. "Alba.. Tross? Is.. Wha-" He's cut mid sentence by the swoop and latches on to Harris a bit. Nice to have company this ride.
[10h21m]The Sea Thing also profits 132 req. and a banana from Harris's bandolier.
[10h21m]Living-Sausage Remy's pockets had long been looted by things that thought he was dead when he's repeatedly been paralyzed on teh ground. All teh good stuff he has places he can shoot offenders looting.
[10h19m]Salted Sea Spawn Deity of Choice would blink, had he any eyelids. Usually he's the one scrambling away after a pickpocketing, not the victims. "Hoy, hwhyz dun hye ghhhtz er hride?" Racism, I tellsya. He'll have to catch the giant bird especially for undead fishmen, it seems.
[10h20m]The Albatoss' great, slow wingbeat soon carries it out of sight, Harris' servo arms still furiously signing obscenities at it and their owner.

Epilogue the First


[10h25m]Civilian Maelstronnar can be seen sitting beneath a nearby tree, curled up as much as he could be, looking haggard and staring into space.
[10h24m]Martini Pirate Dhevika tries to peer over the hat at Kuro. "Accent?" She leans farther, as she is tiny. "Wha' accent?" The 'c's are slurred into 's's and she hiccups again.
[10h22m]Narrator Kuroiten scoops Dhevika off his hat carefully and places her on his shoulder. "Can you feel your limbs?" he asks, gently prodding Werns's feet with his cane.
[10h21m]Quite The Smiler Werns groans. "No..." His eyes flicker.

[10h19m]An enormous, feathery blackness passes over the sun. Moments later, a grey Kittymorph male and a white-haired Joker woman are flung, screaming (and tittering, in the case of the Joker), into the stables at Mike's Chop Shop.

[10h19m]Narrator Kuroiten grins at Dhevika briefly. "The one you have," he says before digging through his satchel. Wait...where'd that come from? "Is your vision blurred?" he asks the prone Werns.
[10h18m]Civilian Maelstronnar glances around the outpost, eyes flicking here and there.
[10h18m]Mike can be heard screaming, "Not again!"

Epilogue the Second

~~~New Pittsburgh~~~

[10h22m]The sun is blotted out, as is all sound from the outpost as something big flies overheard. Its now lone passenger (one Remy by name, Zombie by distinction) has learned why the Kittymorph kept calling it an Albatoss when it loosed his companions.
[10h22m]Alyx says "Whoa. What was that?"
[10h21m]Steeling himself for the inevitable impact, he realizes that this is one way he'd rather not nake an impression. The giant foot pulls back for the throw...
[10h17m]Living-Sausage Remy flies limply through the air like a literally wet blanket instead of just a figurative one he usually it. He's tossed to the ground and lands like bag of soggy garbage. ...Still not dead!
[10h15m]Alyx says "Uh. Welcome home, there, buddy. Mind the first step."

[10h15m]Living-Sausage Remy wiggles, trying to get back to his feet. It's.. sad. His splints are askew.
[10h14m]Alyx says "Uh, I dunno if I should...I'm not really a doctor or anything, but in your state maybe duct tape and chickenwire will do the trick?"
[10h13m]Living-Sausage Remy stops wriggling to slowly contemplate that. "I'd be... Willing to.. Try it."
[10h11m]Alyx examines what's left of Remy's carcass and tries to reassemble him. Shove a splint in there and tape it to some rebar over here...
[10h10m]Living-Sausage Remy, despite how much pain he looks like he should be in, what with new wounds on his arms and legs on top of the rest of the mess he's suffered this week, actually look relived. Someone's helpin ghim without forcing him to wrestle or threatening to eathim!

[10h08m]Alyx grunts and pulls a joint into position as best she can. "Well, that's your legs in functional form...I think. Maybe. I wouldn't go jogging if I were you. You might want to take walking in short bursts, too."
[10h06m]Living-Sausage Remy nods stiffly. "Legs and.. one arm... All I.. Need... for now. No run... only... er... limping." He agrees. He raises his hands, hoping for a little help up.
[10h05m]Alyx is glad her current armor comes with gloves (gauntlets, really) as she grabs Remy and helps him up, hoping nothing pops loose.
[10h03m]Living-Sausage Remy holds together surprisingly well and wobbles up with her help. He nods appreciatively and takes a fluid filled breath to tell her, "Thank you.. so much. Would... like to... return.. favor... someday. I am.. called... Remy. Seek me.. in.. good health."
[10h03m]Alyx says "Uh, sure thing."
[10h02m]Living-Sausage Remy moves carefully, but rigidly like a clockwork sldier to force his body into a light bow. Formal as ever, even when so dessicated as to resemble the undead hoards. "It will... take me... a while.. to get home. Must.. start.. walking."
[10h01m]Living-Sausage Remy begins to shamble toward the gates. "Good.. hunting... Miss..."
[10h01m]Alyx says "Yeah. Thanks. Good luck."
[10h00m]Alyx glances about the city of shambling undead. "I dunno how, but that was weird even for this place."
[09h52m]Alyx dusts her hands off and gathers up her stuff. Better keep moving. There's still so many horrorshows to visit.

Interlude One


[07h06m]Contestant Mel Wanders in from the Jungle, humming a wistful and strangely compelling tune.
[07h02m]Contestant Mel Sings softly. "Test tubes and Tesla coils, clockworks bathed in glowing oils, copper, brass, explosive jelly...his mechapedes policed old Delhi...
[07h00m]Contestant Mel says "Invented the radio transmitting toe. Played poker with Theremin, Tesla and Poe. Harnessed cold moonlight to power airships, and distilled antitoxins from post-nasal drips."
[06h58m]Contestant Mel says "Entropy, Fading his life away, Before the world could ever see, Dissipating and evaporating"
[06h57m]Contestant Mel says "Hired and sacked behind locked doors. A man in uniform fighting cold wars. Invented steam soldiers and taught them to fight, And they stopped things going bump in the night."
[06h56m]Contestant Mel says "All his accomplishments hidden for life, His genius top secret even from his wife. An aged wrinkled genius, his memory fading, His fates, his creations, the government evading."
[06h54m]Contestant Mel says "Entropy, Fading his life away, Before the world could ever see. Dissipating and evaporating..."
[06h52m]Contestant Mel says "Entropy, Fading his life away...." She trails off into humming again, then stops. "My, what a melancholy mood I'm in. Too much time in the jungle, I suppose."
[01h53m]Harris saunters by with an odd feeling an Emu has been here...
[50m15s]Harris seats himself on a not at all curious looking rock to chew a piece of wild mint and watch the scenery.

[49m57s]The Black Swan Thyme walks in, wiggling her fingers. Still not used to them being so long...but at least she put some cuts so she gets digit-use. Perhaps with claws...the heels, though, are always something to be careful with. Nonetheless, she has arrived.
[46m57s]Harris says "You know, that French place was pretty nice. Even though I could barely understand the waiters, they were very polite. Hopped out with our food pretty qui-""
[46m09s]Harris blinks at the space next to him in slow surprise.
[44m25s]Harris grumbles. "Damn. Wrong zone." Noticing one of the longer-haired Kittymorphs walking through the gates, he waves both right hands by way of greeting.
[44m19s]Chocolate bunnygirl sangflauer pops out of a bush. good morning kit!
[42m41s]Harris's head jerks at the sudden movement, but relaxes quickly when he sees a... Female confection there. His left hands wave to her.
[41m47s]The Black Swan Thyme's ear flicks. Instinctually looking over to see...a 'morph talking to himself. Oh, a wave. She kinda waves back, adjusting her messenger bag. Sitting down on a bench nearby.
[37m46s]Harris's arms all return to being planted on his rock, save his right servo arm's. It signs to the ponytailed Kittymorph, 'Good evening, Miss.'

[01h01m]Chocolate bunnygirl sangflauer waves to the strange robo armed kitty morph
[59m29s]The Black Swan Thyme looks, tilting her head. Huh...?
[59m20s]Harris watches the bunny girl curiously, before remembering his manners and tipping his hat with a "Hallo, Miss!" He shows no sign of recognizing that his right servo arm talking to someone else at the same time.
[58m03s]Harris's servo continues its own chat. 'Sorry to be a bother,' it continues to sign, 'but would you have a screwdriver about you? Phillip's head?'
[57m20s]The Black Swan Thyme rubs her neck. Shaking her head slowly. Mouthing, '...I don't read Sign.'
[54m52s]Harris's servo arm droops. 'Just as well. He always notices. Thanks any-' It pauses. 'Damn it. Every time,' is the last thing it signs before folding itself onto Harris' back.
[53m11s]Harris himself chews mint and continues to politely (as he can) stare at the sentient candy in the Outpost.
[51m43s]Chocolate bunnygirl sangflauer leaves kit gving a goodbye wave to the morphs
[50m52s]The Black Swan Thyme sets her bag beside her, setting out a couple things. Pad, jar of water, and...a small jar of paint. Then a brush, smaller...waving a bit idly, before she wets the bristles. And dips it into her paint, laying the brush to paper.
[49m23s]Harris says "Goodbye, Miss!" How the show changes. Or the Island. Or maybe my brain again. He flops backward onto his rock seat as only a cat can.
[44m25s]Harris begins to snore, as only someone with multiple breaks in their nose can.
[43m49s]The Black Swan Thyme just continues her painting. She'll likely be here a while.

End of Act One

~~~A brown bunker~~~

[04d28s]Wendybird Marly looks around the roof and sneezes. Something about fresh air and not getting into trouble.
[04d05s]Harris sits up, shedding the pile of leaves that had accumulated on him. "OBJECTION!" he yowls, followed by blinking in confusion first at the binocular stand, then Marly.
[04d11s]Wendybird Marly startles! "Hold it!" she responds, through some sort of instinct, bred into her very bones. "The defense has no pants!"
[04d57s]Harris says "I mean, um, hallo. How do you do?"
[04d34s]Wendybird Marly brushes a few stray leaves off her skirts and casually flings a slug from her gloved fingers. "Well enough, and you?" She shuffles a little. Is this awkward? She feels awkward. Objection. Pants. Dunce.
[04d01s]Harris shoots to his feet in response, setting to wobbling not unlike a car's radio antenna. Pulling a bright green box out of the rest of the leaves just as abruptly, it is shoved toward the Joker woman with a blurted "I tried to find a motorcycle!"
[04d48s]Having relinquished his prize, Harris does something Marly has never known him to do, under any cirmcumstances. He wrings his hands anxiously. The ensuing racket created by his ever-present powered battle gauntlets is horrific. "Even got SAWS!"
[04d30s]Harris almost wails.

[04d20s]Wendybird Marly blinks, perplexed, as she fumbles to keep a hold of the box. "A... a motorcycle?" Her eyes glitter, excited, barely registering the tried as meaning failed. He tried. Motorcycle. "Ahm. Why?"
[03d23h]The box releases a waft of cinnamon (and... steak?) to Marly's nostrils. Harris descends completely into babbling. "The thing to do, it was, yes'm! It certainly was! Never steered non-one wrong, no! Hope you like! Fancy a swim? I do!"
[03d23h]Harris leaps over the side of the roof, in jacknife form. He brains himself on a low-hanging branch, and is carried off by Failor efficiency.
[03d23h]Wendybird Marly puts a gloved hand to her mouth to cover up the unladylike drool at the scents wafting from the box. Head tilted to the side, she hesitates and stumbles out the words, "He... for me?" That's the sweetest thing anyone has done for her.
[03d23h]Wendybird Marly she rocks back on her heels, a blush spreading over her cheeks and a silly little smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. Her eyes take on a glow as she hums a little tune, sad that he's gone already before she can thank him. Next time.
[03d23h]Wendybird Marly, for now, will open the present. She sets herself on the edge of the roof and opens it.
[03d23h]Wendybird Marly lifts a gloved hand to her mouth, no longer just for the drool. Oh. Well.
[03d23h]Wendybird Marly sits there, pleased, and contemplates the horizon as she munches on a heart-shaped cookie.

Begin Act Two

1) Lost somewhere around the time of the arrival of the Stranger, to who knows what dark purpose.
2) Either that or the Skronkys decided that they wanted free samples, and couldn't get the lock off the door...
3) and me being a lazy bastard
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dating_and_ewe.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)