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By any other name... is still failure

~~~Still, there's something to be said for the company~~~

Ebenezer rolls to his side and curls up. "No," he answers, whining. "I'm on the F-f-f-Fail-the FailBoat."
Baruq says "how long have you been on the island?"
Returning Contestant Kixur smiles and takes her eye back from the male with boar tusks, "Thank you." she smiles a bit. She looks twords the human when he begins to whine, "As are all of us. It happens. Just gotta brush yourself off and keep going." she tells him.
Ebenezer sniffles and rubs at his nose with the back of his hand. And that's when he notices the fellow handing the lady an eyeball. "Engh!" he yelps.
Baruq says "she's just a zombie, whats the big deal?"
Returning Contestant Kixur thinks for a bit as she tries to put her eye back in, "Hmm... I've been here a while, now... not sure exactly how long." she looks over when the human yelped, "Something wrong? Ah... yes... it's probably the eye... Well, it's better then ©
Baruq says "I was asking him how long, seeingas he's complaining about the boat. ive been here for a couple months i think"
Ebenezer grimaces as he pushes himself into a sitting position. "Oh. Erm. How-how long have I--?" After another sniffle, he answers, "T-too-too long. I've b-been here too long."
Returning Contestant Kixur© trying to constantly reattach my arm. I was lucky enough to meet a nice woman who sewed it on propperly for me." she smiles politely.
Ebenezer's grimace worsens. "Oh, erm." He bows his head, just a bit ashamed of himself, "D-dread-dreadfully sorry, M-m-Madam Zombie. It's j-just-erm. Gross." Honesty is not always the best policy.
Baruq says "I'm not sure whats up with the tusks, they just sort of... SPROUTED one morning afyer i rinsed off in a stream."
Keta groans as he lands facefirst upon the Failboat. "Motherf..." was all he managed to make out, before his face collided with the deck. "'ll 'ave ye' yet, aye I will!" he managed to groan out, muffled as it was.
Returning Contestant Kixur laughs a bit, "I suppose it IS a bit... unsettleing to most. I've grown used to it, though I have been... decomposing at a slightly faster rate lately." she shrugs a bit, "My name's Kixur, by the way. It's nice to meet you." she smiles at him.
Ebenezer seems surprised. "It-it is? It's n-nice to meet me? Erm, n-nice to m-meet-to meet you. Kix-Kixur, you said? Erm. Ebenezer." After a long hesitation and a sound in the back of his throat, he blurts, "Sh-shouldn't get used to it!"
Civilian Zeta says "I'd say she should get used to it. She's a fookin' zombie, in innit"

Racism is hilarious when it's Ebenezer and a Midget

~~~Or creepy forever if you're watching "A Raisin in the Sun", and you realize that that is Piglet...~~~

Ebenezer grimaces horribly. Oh dear. There's a Midget on this boat. He lets out another long, agonized groan.
Civilian Zeta says "Err... That is what a midget is supposed to say, right? I'm sorry, I'm new at this whole race... I hope I haven't offended anyone..."
Civilian Zeta is looking around nervously, tapping his stubby feet.
Returning Contestant Kixur chuckles slightly at the human's nervous stammer, "Yes. It's nice to meet you. I enjoy meeting new people, espeshily since it's doubtful there's a way off this island. Might as well make the best of things."©
Civilian Zeta seems to realize something, and slaps himself in the face.
Civilian Zeta says "I do believe I've err, "fooked" it up tremendously."
Civilian Zeta takes an aggressive posture and spits.
Civilian Zeta says "You're all bleedin' arseholes! ... Innit."
Civilian Zeta says "Is that right?"
Returning Contestant Kixur's smile fades a bit when Eben says she shouldn't get used to it, "Oh? Why do you think that?" It was the first time she ever met someone that thought she shouldnt get used to being a zombie. Not that she was offended at all by that,just curious.
Ebenezer gives an alarmed sort of squeak and scooches a bit further away from Zeta. "Al-alright, Mister-m-Mister Midget! Yes, erm, n-no-no need to get awful." Looking back to Kixur, he answers, "Be-because it's-erm-why-why would you want to?"
Returning Contestant Kixur turns to the Midget and smiles a bit, "You don't need to fall into the steriotype of a Midget to be one. You'd be better off just being yourself."
Returning Contestant Kixur looks back at Eben, "Hmm... well..." she thinks hard about how to word what she wants to say, "It's better to get used to your fate then try to fight it. This is what the Drive turned me into. I can't help that. It might even happen again. ©
Civilian Zeta looks relieved. "That's a relief! I've been ailing miserably at trying to be mean to people. I was trying to rob some poor bloke, but I couldn't help myself from leaving about half. He just looked so helpless..."
Returning Contestant Kixur©It's better to just go with the flow of things then fight it. At least, that's what I think." she tells him.
Ebenezer doesn't calm much at Zeta's change in demeanour, but he does calm a little. "D-don't-don't rob me," he requests, putting on as pathetic an expression as he can manage. In reply to Kixur, he argues, "B-best to s-stay human, I say."
Keta grumbled yet again, realizing, finally, that the Midget's spit landed upon his backside; The human "accidentally" yanks one of the beings feet out from under him, as he finally pushed himself up from the deck. "'at's e'nuff outta you, short'un."
Civilian Zeta says "I respectfully disagree, Ebenezer! Variety is the spice of life! I never really wanted to be human in the first place, and the ability to change has given me immense perspective about how to understand others, and, dare I say, myself!""
Ebenezer winces, realizing that he has, perhaps, been rude. "Erm! N-not-n-not that-I did-didn't mean-erm! My-m-my wife's a Kit-a Kittymorph!" Therefore, he's not racist.
Civilian Zeta is lying on the deck, but his cheerful and friendly grin continues, seemingly unaffected.
Returning Contestant Kixur chuckles a bit, "You say that as if you have a choise. The Drive seems to just change me into whatever it feels like. Before this, I was a Kittymorph. After this... who knows what it'll turn me into or if it'll deside to just rot me to the bone."
Keta having missed the last part of the Midget's speech, he leaned over and offered down a hand, Sorry 'bout tha'. Been a bit in the delirious side e'er since I hit this boat the firs' time."
Civilian Zeta says "There's always a choice, my girl! It's simply a matter of making it afterwards!"
Ebenezer pulls his knees closer to his chest and ducks his head, uncomfortable at the idea of rotting away. "M-might-you might learn to-t-to-to have a choice," he mumbles to his knees.

Philosophy: better when drunk

~~~Just ask Wittgenstein1)~~~

Civilian Zeta says cheerfully, "Don't worry about it, Keta! No hard feelings here! In fact, would you care to grab a drink, later, perhaps? None of that squat hole rubbish, a good, old fashioned Ale at the spider kitty? I sense a kindred spirit from our names!
Returning Contestant Kixur laughs a bit,"Oh, I don't mind. It's a bit... exciting to wonder what it'll turn me into next. I don't mind surprizes, even the improbable kind. I'm happy this way. It's much better then my life before I came here,to be sure.If this is the price©
Keta Pondering this a bit, he nodded cheerfully, "Aye, sounds like a good'un to me! Though, to be fair, I 'aven't left newhome, been working on keepin' 'er walls strong. Whereabout's the Spider Kitty?"
Ebenezer hugs his knees and he doesn't look up when he asks, "Wh-what-what were you b-before?" He also adds, quieter and more grumbly, "I d-don't like surprises. T-too-too surprising."
Returning Contestant Kixur©to pay to be free of...of that place"her voice filled with anger and disgust at the thought of her life before,"... then I'm willing to deal with something small like this."she flicks a bit of dead skin from her elbow.It flies into the sea
Civilian Zeta finally picks himself off the ground and walks over to Ebenezer. "It's okay, chap. All you have to learn is how to look on the ... Bright side of life!" He whistles a bit, then looks mildy confused at his own action.
Ebenezer's sitting on the deck. When Zeta approaches, he scooches away. "Erm! D-don't rob me!" he helps. "I've n-not-not got an-anything!"
Civilian Zeta laughs! "A worthy past time! I recall spending hours with a hammer and a plank, myself! The spider kitty is in Improbable Central! Run by the greatest friend known to all contestants, Dan!"
Returning Contestant Kixur sighs a bit, "Well, I arrived as a human. After defeating the Drive, it turned me into a Kittymorph. After fighting it again, I became the zombie you see before you today."
Civilian Zeta says "I don't want to rob you, Ebenezer! I want to befriend you! Tell me about yourself! Don't be afraid to come out of your shell a bit!"
Ebenezer argues with Zeta, "But I l-like-I like my shell!" Shells are safe and cosy. "You-y-you tell me first. You-you tell me and th-then and then I'll tell you. Trade."
Ebenezer glancing back to Kixur, he clarifies, "M-mean-I mean before, I mean. What-what's so awful b-bout-about before? Did-didn't you like b-being human and b-being off this awf-awful Island?"
Keta nods a little, and grins, clapping Zeta on the shoulder. "I'll make my way o'er there then, af'er I make me way of o' this damnedable boat. Could use a friend in this place, 'at's for sure."
Civilian Zeta grins. "Excellent. I was worried my current appearance would be too indimidating. Back as a human on the mainland, I was a writer! Well... Aspiring, anyway. I worked as a bartender. Lovely job, too. Met a lot of people. Some of them , though,
Ebenezer echoes, "Writer. B-bar-a bartender." Glancing at Zeta, he makes the information trade, as promised. "I'm an acc-c-count-an accountant."
Returning Contestant Kixur's eyes darken when Eben asks about her life before. She was afraid that's what he ment,"No. No I didn't. Because that place was far worse then this island. At least here,I can feel free..."she says softly,"That's all I'm going to say about it"
Civilian Zeta ©weren't so nice. The bar wasn't in too nice a place, you see. A gang came in, and started driving off everyone who didn't pay. Those... BASTARDS!" He shouts, with uncharacteristic venom and clenched fists, "err, sorry about that. They ©
Ebenezer frowns slightly at Kixur. "Oh. Erm. S-sorry?" Is that a question he ought not have asked? "I'd r-rather be, erm, not free and safe, I think, th-than-than free and al-always in danger. That's what-what-what I think."
"Crapmonkeys!" comes the customary 'Incoming Contestant' warning.
Civilian Zeta © ruined my livelyhood, and left me no choice but to come here or lose my life, as well." He glances about sheepishly, ashamed at his outburst. "Accountant, huh? It fits you! I'm sure you were the best!"

...sdneirf ym morf pleh elttil a htiw yb teg I

~~~The original title felt inappropriate2)~~~

Keta looks about at the others around him. He knew Zeta now, (sort of), and he was in conversation with the stammering one. He looked then at the zombie female, and grinned, catching the last bit of her statement.©
Harris hits the deck facefirst, with a bounce and a skid.
Ebenezer quickly spits, in reply to Zeta, "St-still-I'm still the best!"
Civilian Zeta says "Excellent, Keta! I'll see you there sometime soon, I hope? I was just about to head over there before I was attacked."
Keta "'ey there lass!" he called out, though, not so much as a calling as a speaking to, "So then, if 'at's the case, what wer' ya befor' ya came to this wretched isle, 'eh?"
Keta "Or, 'ah mean, befor' ya wer' a zombie, neh?"
Ebenezer cringes bodily at Harris' rough arrival. "Engh."
Civilian Zeta laughs again, an easy, friendly laugh.
Harris's right servo arm goes to tip his hat for him, finds it missing, shrugs, and settles for a wave to the gathering.
Returning Contestant Kixur's fists clench, "Safe? No... I said I was trapped, not that I was safe. And at least out here we have the meens to defend ourselves."she says. She looks up as a Kittymorph is tossed onto the deck, snapping her out of her dark thoughts.
Civilian Zeta says "Hello, Harris! Lovely weather we're having, isn't it?"
Ebenezer's ears turn red. "Erm." He doesn't seem to know what to say in reply to Kixur, but that doesn't stop him from trying, "Well, I-erm-what-how did-did-I mean, erm! Sorry."
Returning Contestant Kixur gets up and walks over to the Kittymorph, not realizing her right pinky finger had fallen off from clenching her hand so tightly, "You alright?"
Keta nodded at Zeta, with a wink. "Soon is as soon 12 hits, to be sure. Mayb' meet some more o' your demeanor there, too."'
Harris pulls an eye and a leg from the deck to stare at said limb critically. "Thif ftill feef wrong." he opines through mashed lips.
Civilian Zeta looks at Kixur gravely. "I understand, Kixur. More than you might think . There's nothing to do but soldier on. Sometimes, fighting isn't the answer. Take it from one with the experience. Violence leads to violence."
Returning Contestant Kixur smiles wearily at Eben, "It's fine. You didn't know. I suppose most people here must have had fairly good lives. It seems to be a common topic. I'm just not one of those people, sadly."
Ebenezer scooches fearfully away from the fallen finger. "Engh!"
Civilian Zeta turns to Keta, opening his arms. "Welcome to Improbable Island, friend. Men of my demeanor are common, as long as you are open minded and friendly." He glances over at Kixur, worried about offending her. "And women, of course."
Harris plants his foot, and both right hands to unceremoniously flip himself over with a thump.
Civilian Zeta claps politely.
Harris says "To fight and conquer in all our battles is not supreme excellence; supreme excellence consists in breaking the enemy's resistance without fighting."
Harris says "In short; success isn't always where or when you expect. Also, nice, but a bit humid with full-body hair. Hallo."
Civilian Zeta surreptitiously glances at Keta and mutters, "Now, this guy is a pro. Learn from him."
Keta mutters back, Are you sure? Seems humidily insane.."
Returning Contestant Kixur looks over when Eben scooches away, seeing her pinkie finger rolling around on the deck, "Hmm? Oh... sorry about that. I'll get it."she says, heading over to her detatched pinkie finger just in time for the FailBoat to learch, sending the finger ©
Keta says "(*humidly, ha)"
Civilian Zeta says "This is Improbable Island. Insane equals ... Um. Well, strong, I guess. I couldn't think of a pun..."
Returning Contestant Kixur© skidding accross the deck before falling overboard, where it is quickly devowered by a passing Sentiant Sweedish Fish, "Damn... oh, well..." she sighs.

A mime is a terrible thing to waste... a waist is a terrible thing to mind... a thimble is a terror wasp...? FUCK.

~~~Kids, don't do drugs~~~

Ebenezer, perhaps jealous of the attention Zeta and Keta are giving to Harris, blurts, "I th-think-I think sanity's per-perfectly alright! And-and-and I'm an ex-an expert, by the way! It's true!"
Harris looks up from chewing his pant leg. "Mrum?"
Ebenezer enghs when the finger goes overboard. Oh dear, but that's alarming, isn't it?
Civilian Zeta says "You should stop by the hospital tent, Kixur. When I was a zombie, they gave me a new finger for free. It works fine, though I'm almost positive it has a mind of it's own."
Keta stares at Ebenezer, "Look man, I'm gonn' say this in the nices' possible way... Bu' ye need to grow a pair. We're in a bubble of improbability, ye' need to learn to deal wit' it sooner or later, neh?"
Ebenezer gawps at Keta, wide-eyed and slack-jawed. His mouth flounders silently, trying to form words. No words come forth.
Civilian Zeta says "Ebenezer, we know you are! I'm sorry for forgetting! Any words of wisdom for a little civilian, here?"
Harris grins when he looks up freom overall-eating and spies Ebenezer. "Hallo, mate!" Flipping his head around to peer at Keta. "You should listen to m. This guy's top at sanity."
Civilian Zeta looks reproachfully at Keta. "Though I might agree with the sentiment, I hardly think it needs to be expressed in that manner."
Keta waves his hand at Ebe, to ward off his own words. "Sorry man, i's the i'ish in me. Canna' help 'et sometimes."
Returning Contestant Kixur shrugs a bit, "Oh, it's fine. Knowing my luck, I'll end up growing another one once I beat the Drive again. Horratio's not one to completely screw people over, at least from what I've seen."
Civilian Zeta still looks slightly displeased. "Words are easy to control," he mutters, " actions are hard."
Keta grumbles a bit, and gives a deep bow to both Zeta and Ebenezer "Ah' sincerely apologize t' all offended 'n involved by me words."
Harris goggles at Kixur. "Hornblower? You know 'im?"
Ebenezer's whole head has turned red. "Ghgt!" he says, as if that's a real word.
Harris says "Now, there's a chap whose sanity could give Ebenzer's a run for its money."
Civilian Zeta, taking a stern countance, says, "I'll only let you prove you're sorry if you," his rough visage breaks down into a grin, "stand me a drink at the Spiderkitty!"
Harris chews his overalls thoughtfully, tail twitching, and servo arms making little strangling motions at his neck. "Prolly 'cos he's navy," he decides.
Returning Contestant Kixur looks up at Harris, "Yes, in a sense. You see... to put it simply, I went...missing for a while. Horratio kinda... helped me find my way back to things... though I knew him before I even got lost in the first place."
Keta stared at Zeta, and his own scarred visage broke into a laughing fit. Aye! Fine mate! Bu' if'n ye don' show, I'll hun' ye down and carry ye to it meself!" He paused, and turned his gaze to Ebenezer. "You too, lad! I'll spot ye one 'r two."
Returning Contestant Kixur frowns a bit at Eben, "You alright?" she asks, putting a semi-decomposing hand on her friend's shoulder.
Civilian Zeta looks around curiously. "Who is this Horattio Hornblower? The name sound familiar and he sounds like a stand-up chap, but... "
Harris's mouth sags open at the silver-haired zombie, saliva-soaked spot quite forgotten. "What's sailing like?"
Ebenezer lets out a truly horrific scream when that hand touches him. Violently, he jerks away from the zombified appendage and he scrambles away down the deck.
Keta rumbles out in a low murmur "Well now..." He swaggers his way down to Ebenezer, and kneels down before him. "Look lad.. 'uman t' 'uman.. Come 'n down to th' Spider Kitty with us, eh? No need for fear, 'k? Not 'ere, not there. Ye'll be a'right."
Returning Contestant Kixur pulls her hand back when Eben screamed and ran off. She sighs a bit, hoping she hadn't done anything to upset him. It's not like she can help that she's a Zombie, after all...
Civilian Zeta chuckles, basking in the myriad of emotions and new friendships.
Ebenezer's eyes are saucers and his chest is heaving. "I'm-I'm-I'm fine!" he spits, as if it's an insult that someone might suggest he's afraid. "And-and I d-don't drink."
Harris's cat-ears twitch violently, but he remains focussed on the possible naval officer. Ebenezer's always been a dedicated yodeler. Bit off-key, but Harris has always respected the man's fervent devotion to his craft.

Beer is proof that God loves us, and wants us to be happy

~~~All respect to Ben Franklin~~~

Keta says "In fact, 'ow 'bout we all 'ead on over there when this wretched clock 'its 12? I'll hit an Improbable bank n' spring fer all o' us?" the man called out. "'n if'n ye don' drink, I'll get ye some milk 'r water, eh?" he directed at Ebenezer."
Returning Contestant Kixur turns back to Harris, "Hmm.. it's interesting, to say the least. Though, while I was I forgot so much... nearly everything, to be honest. I remembered my clan and my name and a little bit about the Drive, but that's it. It was... strange..."
Civilian Zeta says "You should give it a try, Eben. I've seen many a man like you come into my bar pledging to maintain his abstinence, and then have the time of their life. Self-professed."
Harris looks fascinated and befuddled. "You drove to the ocean?"
Civilian Zeta says "Some of the best times I've known have happened because of drinking. Ah, the people I've met..."
Returning Contestant Kixur smiles at Keta, "That sounds nice. I'll try my best to make it, if I can." she says. Traveling was hard in this form, but she'd do her best.
Ebenezer is visibly trembling and his face is glistening with dampness. "D-don't-I don't drink," he says again, arguing with Zeta. "M-might-I could have some c-cranberry juice, maybe," he mumbles, quiet.
Keta winked at Eben, nodding. "Aye, listen to the man. Tell ye what, if'n you can drink more water'n I can whiskey, if'n ye don't have a good ol' time, I'll spring ya five huner' requistion, no questions, lad."
Keta says "Fine, Cran-juice, 'n."
Returning Contestant Kixur looks down a bit at Harris's question, "Ah... I'm not sure, to be honest. Like I said, I've forgotten so much about it..." she tells him.
Keta Nodded at Kixur, hopin' Harris'd make it as well.
Civilian Zeta's face frowns, accentuating the single scar that runs across his otherwise smooth face. "Ah well. Maybe someday. And Keta? You haven't seen drinking until you've met me. Irish, Russian, German, and Scottish. I'll drink you under the table!"
Ebenezer's breaths are slowing. "M-might-I might come," he mumbles. "B-been-it's been a bit s-since I've b-been-been to a pub. Why-why-why not? Why not?"
Harris raises a thumbless hand. "I'm a dwarf."
Keta stood, a look of a challenge on his face, grin reachin' from ear to ear as he nodded at Eben, then headed back over to the Midget. "Aye mate, yer on! How 'bout a wee bet, 50 req to who drinks who under firs'?"
Keta also motioned to Eben, for him to come join the duo.
Civilian Zeta "I'll raise you tenfold!" He says, grinning confidently, "500!"
Tor NaGoth climbs over the rail with a keg of 307ale
Civilian Zeta says "Care to share, Tor?"
Harris gesticulates with a bendy straw he's found somewhere. "I'll drink all of you under the table!"
Tor NaGoth grins, "Glady! Anyone have extra mugs?"
Civilian Zeta says "Mugs? Who needs mugs! We're family! Drink from the spigot!"
Ebenezer complains, "D-don't-I d-don't carry mugs r-round-around in my pockets."
Keta curses, but the half grin, courtesy of the scar upon his left, stays. "Alright, 500 t' th' winner! I'd say a thou', bu' Eben migh' jus' 'ave me for tha' other 5."
Returning Contestant Kixur smiles a bit, "I'm no lightweight when it comes to alchol. I'll be glad to join in the bet!"
Harris hisses at Ebenezer. "Hsst! Hsst! PSSTT! HEY, EBENEZER!"
Tor NaGoth borrows mugs from the Cocoa vendor and fills each about half full to prevent spillage. "Pass 'em around, and be careful. 307 is the proof."
Civilian Zeta grins and laughs. "This brings me back."
Ebenezer's brow furrows. Slowly, he turns his head to look at Harris. "What-what-what-what-what-what is it?"
Keta says "grinned at Kixur, nodding.Say what, I'll drop 750 to th' winner, t' be certain. I can spare 't." Keta seemed to be a bit healthy in the confidence department, despite being almost a failor, at this point."
Harris whispers, "Don't let 'em drink you! I think they mean it!"
Keta(*grinned at Kixur, nodding. "Say©(etc.)
Ebenezer's eyes widen again. "What!" he squeaks. "D-drink me? What-no!"
Civilian Zeta downs his mug in a single gulp, waving it at Keta and Kixur, then Harris. "Next," he burps.
Keta says "Harris! Don't frighten' th' poor man.""
Ebenezer yawps, "I'm n-n0t-I'm not frightened!"
Tor NaGoth downs his as well. "Schwell!"


~~~Is something!~~~

Keta says "Oy! You started already, we ain' even at th' Spider!"
Harris reassures his old comrade-in-... Harris reassures Ebenezer, "Don't worry. I'll get them first!" ....still making little jabbing motions at the passing legs legs with his straw, still a little bemused by the fact that no-one's found a table..
Keta quickly helps himself to a pint, downing it as the others are fillin' their own.
Civilian Zeta tries to light a cigarette, only to find the fumes from his breath incinerate the cigarette as soon as a match gets near it. "That's what I call an ale," he says.
Ebenezer, for some reason, is reassured by Harris' promise to drink the others before they can drink him. He gives a little sigh, feeling safer already.
Keta finishes his toss, throws Zeta another cig, and begins fillin' his second. "I oughta penalize ye for this!" he stated, laughing.
Civilian Zeta, turning away from the other contestants, lights the cig away from his mouth, then slowly brings it up to his mouth at an angle from below. It too, goes up in flames. Zeta, giving up, quickly fills up two mugs and chugs them in quick succsesion.
Returning Contestant Kixurdowns her mug easily, licking foam from her lips before letting out a loud, content belch, a bit of discolored monster flesh flying out of her mouth and overboard. She wipes her mouth a bit, "Delishious. Thank you, good sir!"
Civilian Zeta says "I didn't know I could do that..."
Civilian Zeta quickly does it again, bringing his total to five. He grins at the others, looking them straight in the eyes.
Keta downs his third, then his fourth, stealing a mug from a delirous unnamed contestant to fill two at once. "Zet, I got a couple more, I'll toss ye one when we stop bein' flammable!" He cackled out, starting on his fifth.
Ebenezer seems a bit intimidated by the contest that's suddenly happening on the deck of the FailBoat. He scooches away from the group and their excessive alcohol consumption.
Civilian Zeta's eyes are terrifyingly sober as he drinks his sixth and seventh.
Keta manages to toss Eben a pitcher of Cran juice. "'ere ye go, mate!" He choked out, tossing down his sixth as he filled his seventh, now eighth.
Tor NaGoth has drained his own mug several times, but doesn't seem to be counting.
Ebenezer yelps and flinches away from the pitcher of juice to avoid being stuck by it. That thing came out of nowhere! "ENGH!"
Civilian Zeta says "I am the greatest drinker of all time. Your Irish tolerance alone can't compete with my experience gained from running a bar through a divorce and a gang take over."
Harris, still lying on his back, has a mug plopped next to him in somewhere the process. OHHHHHHhhh, under the TABLE. Right. No interpretive cannibalism here! Just a glowing, fizzing, green alcohol-smelling liquid in a mug.
Harris lifts it carefully (lacking thumbs can make such momenets tricky), and stares it down.
Keta realized, as he drained his 7th and 8th at once, that he was only 3 Favour points away from being off this boat. He then forgot this, and started his ninth as he filled his tenth. "Try doin' it in th' SECOND potato famine!"

Returning Contestant Kixur fills up another mug, quickly downing it before drinking down another. And another.... then realizes something, "Damn it! Sonofa..." a hole had rotted through her gut, and the liquer had started to pour out of it steadily, "Shit...."
Does not happen, thankfully, but the beer is merrily eating through the deck.
Returning Contestant Kixur drinks to try to forget about how improbably fast she had begun decomposing.
Keta stares at Kixur, then winks at her. "'ll toss ye a few to get fixed up, bu' I think that means she can drink more tha' any o' us now!"
Tor NaGoth's eyes glow a moment and the Keg gurgles as it refills itself., "I'll just leave you to it, then." he says, then fills an extra mug and heads below decks.
Ebenezer scrambles away from the fallen juice pitcher, as if he thinks it's out to get him. "N-not-I'm not thirsty, thank you!"
Civilian Zeta looks at himself. "I don't think I particularly want to stay a midget, anymore. I'd much rather try the other ones before settling on such a remaining form. Say, it it just me, or has my personality changed since I started? Ah well, I like this one
Keta falls to the deck, two more pitchers full. "No way I c'n c'mpete with a zombie with a hole in 'er gut. I give! I give!"
Harris is seven dwarves. He downs the drink.
Civilian Zeta looks sad for a moment, starting to get maudlin at his loss of a stereotypical British personality, then lines up a row of mugs. He is no longer capable of sadness.
Ebenezer clambers into a rather large coil of rope that's lying on the deck. It looks like a safe place to hide-no, not hide. Of course, he's not hiding. He's just, err, observing. Yes. Observing from a safe distance.
Civilian Zeta's short term memory is starting to give out as well.
Civilian Zeta downs another drink. Ah, there it is, again.
Keta says " Ah think Zeta's los' a wee bit o' 'is Midget sanity..""
Civilian Zeta says "Entirely possible, Keta."
Returning Contestant Kixursmiles a bit,"Oh, don't worry about it. I doubt I'll stay this way for long, either way." she says with a smile, downing a few more mugs, not bothering to keep count of what number she's on. It wouldn't be fair to compete with an unfair advantage.
Harris is on his back again, eyes wide and unblinking.
Harris says "I can taste math."
Civilian Zeta says "But one must ask if any of us posses sanity in the first place. After all, we continue to struggle to overcome our own shortcomings, despite the inevitability of death and destitution."
Civilian Zeta looks at Harris. "Case in point."

Ebenezer peers over the edge of his rope coil, fascinated by the statement Harris has just made. "Wh-what-what's it taste like?"
Harris says "...tastes like snozberries, actually."
Ebenezer doesn't understand. "Wh-what's that taste like?" he asks.
Keta Enabling (AFK commentary)
Harris opens his mouth, shuts it again, opens it again, shuts it again, and starts making two circles in the air with his fingers, followed by a line, and possibly a duck.
Returning Contestant Kixur grins when she sees Harris's hand movements. One movent was most deffinately duck-like. As a member of QQQ, she posatively adored the creatures, though wasn't as vocal about it as some. It was more of a quiet admeration. Except on Quackmas.
Harris slowly stands up to pur himself another. The sides of the mug start to sizzle as he sits down companionably by Ebenezer's rope fortress.
Keta, with an embellished hop, quickly downs three more mugs, and, upon filling yet another, splashes a bit upon the deck of the boat. "Somethin' tells me I'll be owin' someone'r'another soon.."
Civilian Zeta has finally succumbed, and is now lying half conscious, staring blankly at the sky, with tears running down his face.
Civilian Zeta says "One... More..."
Civilian Zeta, somehow sensing the presence of a challenger, forces himself off the ground, holding out his hand for a mug.
Civilian Zeta says "Give me number 27!"
Keta collapses onto Zeta, then, both of their mugs, equally numbered, sloshing out into the sea. "Who.. who.. who won, eh mate? You, me, Kixur, Ene..ebeb...enebanezer" he waves at all still standing, as a question.
Ebenezer eyes Harris (and his mug) warily.
Harris says "Oh no, you might not like that one. Twenty-seven's all licorice-y."
Civilian Zeta says groggily, "We all won. One... Won... Two... Too...
Civilian Zeta says "Toot toot!"
Returning Contestant Kixur calmly continues drinking at a steady pace, the alchol pouring out of her stomach. Sadly, she is not getting drunk because of this. Pitty. She looks over at Keta, "I have to agree with Zeta. Even if I can't get drunk like this, I think we all won."
Ebenezer murmurs, "D-drink-drinking makes m-men in-into scoundrels."

Oh, that's what ya do with a drunken sailor!

~~~Ya da dadada dada da da da...!~~~

Harris raises his mug in toast, until he realizes that it did not survive the encounter, and consequently, neither did his leg. "Oh. Balls."
Returning Contestant Kixur chuckles at the drunks, wishing that she, too, could have gotten drunk. She looks over at Eben, "Oh, lighten up a little. It's all in good fun here. Not everyone takes to alchol the same way." she tells him.
Harris grumbles as he gathers up the severed limb.
Keta Looked around blearily "I'll round it off to.. to 3 a'ya then.. 'Cause Eben di'n drink 'is juice. So 3 sum'in to ye' all. Or... I think. Sum'in."
Civilian Zeta says "I'll see you all at the Spiderkitty in a few days. I'm trying to do some speed leveling, need to spend some time at Pleasantville. Really isn't so pleasant , if you ask me. The ... Whatchamacallits are always complaining anoit something or other."
Ebenezer is now staring, horrified, at Harris' severed limb. Somehow, he can't look away. He can't blink. A very quiet whine emits from the back of his throat.
Returning Contestant Kixur looks over at Harris, "Need some help with that? I've got some gause you can use to keep it in place until you can get it propperly reattached." she says
Keta says "Distra't me or sum'in or other, so I remem'r n all, all o' ya." He nodded somberly at Zeta, "Damndable... Whatchamacallits..""
Harris smiles affably to everyone. "Thanks, but na. I'll get back to the mainland to have the Medics look at this. It's been fun, but I'd better hop to it!"
Harris heads belowdecks to visit the Watcher.
Returning Contestant Kixur nods at Zeta, "Right. Be sure to send us a destraction to set up a time."
Ebenezer makes a sound that's something like nghnegh. Severed limbs are gross.
Civilian Zeta says "Aye aye! Captain. Or major general. Or kernel. Or colonel."
Keta nodded amiably, grinning foolishly. "I'll uh.. do sum'in like tha' now. I'll be out'a 'ere at 12, so.. anot'er hour n a half? Ye'll get i' then."
Ebenezer seems to be doing better now that Harris has gone below. "N-never a dull mo-moment," he complains to himself.

The End

~~~You don't have to go home, but you can't stay here~~~

Keta poked at the seemingly unconscious Zeta, rolling a few feet away, until he found his foot. "Ah, that was some great fun, f'r sure."
Returning Contestant Kixur smiles, "Yes... I look forward to doing this again when we meet at the SpiderKitty. It'll be fun." she says. She hopes that she hasn't decomposed completely by then. It was very unsettling that she was decomposing at the rate that she was.
Ebenezer must be pretty comfortable in his coil of rope. Likewise, this adventure (and the stress it involved) must've taken a lot out of him. His eyelids are drooping and his head's nodding.
Keta laughs quietly at Eben, as he himself was slowly coming back 'round. "It will be fun, for sure, lass." he paused a moment, then continued, slowly "Thought ye'd be gone by now. So.. is there nothin' to stop yer decomposin', then?"
Returning Contestant Kixur sighs a bit, "Not that I know of. I guess it'll go back to normal once a defeat the Drive again. Fortueately, I think I can do that soon. Still... I hope it won't be too late." she frowns, touching the gaping hole in her gut.
Ebenezer curls up cosily and lets his head rest on the edge of the rope, smashing his spectacles into his face. Soon, his breathing's slow and even and he's emitting a slight nasal whistling sound.
Keta eyed the spot, nodding a bit, "I 'ope so too. Would be a shame to have to have to pour a drink upon some o' the parts tha' rema--" he tapered off, then coughed, realizing what he was saying wasn't very©
Returning Contestant Kixur smiles softly at Eben's sleeping form. She takes a spare blanket from her bag and drapes it over him. She wanted to make amends for scaring him earlier when she touched his shoulder. At least this way the cold, salty night air wouldn't bother him.
Ebenezer's likely been scared by a good number of things on this Island. Surely, he'll be able to forgive a lady who's been nothing but kind to him. Even if she is a nasty, rotting Zombie.
Keta soothing, and he frowned. "Sorry, I meant to say, would be a shame, as ah' jus' met ye, 'n all." He then grinned again, with a nod. "Ah'm sure ye'll get it, though, to be certain."
Returning Contestant Kixur smiles a bit, "It's fine. I much prefer it when people say how they really feel. No need to appologize for it."she tells him, "I hope you're right, though. No... you are right. I'll make it there in time. I've got no other choise, really."
Keta, nodding with a hint of a grin, pats her on the shoulder then, as lightly as one would pat a feather. "There's always a choice. Could just sit there an' rot' an feel sorry for yer'self, right? Jus' gotta believe, right?"
Keta Glanced up at the bright night sky. "Anycase, ye' got friends, yea? Ye need help, or a mug a' th' local bar for some normality, fin' us. With that, he offered her a smile, and dropped down to the deck, to stare at the sky. "Jus' a few more min's..."
Returning Contestant Kixur laughs a bit, "True... but that's not much of a choice, is it? As a wise Joker once put it, Cake or Death? Not much to choose from, is it?" she says with a small smile,"And you don't need to worry about being too gentle.That arm was sewn back on."
Returning Contestant Kixur is still greatfull to Denny for sewing her arm on the way she did. It had held nicely, and, improbably, the skin and muscle around the thread hadn't rotted in the slightest. Infact, it looked stronger then ever.

...And that's how it could have ended

~~~But here's what really happened3):~~~

Civilian Zeta says "Well, I'm back. Sadly, sober again. Anyone want to help me rectify that?"
Keta says "Ah, back as well, fin' meself in Improbable central too, 'n not by th' skin of me teeth.."
Keta He flopped down to the deck and filled up a mug for Zeta, sliding it to him. "Kin'na wish I 'ad stayed 'ere longer last time, 'ad a nice bit of conversation sparkin' up." He laughed, and filled one up for himself.
Civilian Zeta says "I couldn't agree more. Urgh. Those damn interrupting cows. Took me down from 20 health."
Keta laughed at that, shaking his head "Was th' bloody Mad Scrabble players for me, mate. " He paused, taking a short swig. "Kin'na 'ope that zombie girl don't end up decomposin' too fast." He winked at the other, tossin' him one of two spare cigs.
Keta says "Zombie 'r not, kin'na cute, in'nit?", laughing a bit more."
Civilian Zeta says, "Personally, I don't roll that way myself, but I can see it, I suppose." He shrugs, hunched over his mug.
Civilian Zeta says "More into a beating heart."
Keta shrugs after a moment of thinking, and lights up his cig with a random match. "Aye, bu' what if'n ye're a zombie next time 'round?"
Civilian Zeta sighs, lightly banging his forehead against the table. "And I had been doing so well, too" he mutters. "Damn fail boat."
Civilian Zeta says "I've done it. I wasn't much into anything, when I was a zombie."
Keta says "Ah... tha's fair, then. Don' be so 'ard on yourself. I'm sure even th' best o' us 'as gotten sent 'ere his or her fair share of times."
1) search for "Wittgenstein's poker" if you've no idea what I'm on about.
2) It was going to be "Suddenly, a wang shot out"...
3) A bit later.
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failure.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)