Let it be known that these are the tenets of the First Improbable Island Of Eris Esoteric:
1) Eris may not be the Watcher, but it's funnier if you think she is.
2) Chaos has no Lords, it just has a nutty Goddess.
3) Since Improbable Island is insane anyway, the only spiritually healthy response is to be weirder than it is.
4) If we are all just weird enough, someday the Improbability Drive will look around, shrug, and give up, letting us all go home or at least get on with what passes for our lives.
5) There are two schools of thought as to what happens next. Toaster Pastry ImpErisians 1) believe that the Improbability Drive will become a toaster oven. No, Really, You Use It On Your Face ImpErisians believe it will become a personal massager. 2) 3)4)
6) Crazy Audrey is Bast 5)6)7) in disguise. Unless she's not.
7) ImpErisian salvation is for everyone. Even the midgets. 8)
8) The standard Discordian prohibition against eating Hot Dog Buns is lifted for ImpErisians. However, they may not, under any circumstance, on pain of death, dismemberment, and snubbing, consume the horror that is CANNED CORNED BEEF.
Given by my hand,
Supreme Pope Zog The Disturbed
High Prelate, First Improbable Island Church of Eris Esoteric