Enquirer Home Page | Twitter | Back to Improbable Island

Background of JtPN

He was dragged onto the Island due to bribes by Made of Metal in some twisted form of revenge. The reason is long forgotten, and the two now both work for PPP.

JtPN1)2)3)4)5) is currentlywas6) the strongest contestant7) on the Island, after having trailed for a very long time in the Pilot. He tends to disappear and reappear, making some wonder if he's a Jokermorph or just a Joker like the rest of us. 8)9)

JtPN recently released a sex tape of himself and his new wife. Reviews of the tape have declared: It's about thirty seconds of sex and about two minutes of crying. Why would someone release this?10)

Needless to say, JtPN is not very liked by other contestants.11) He is mean, not that funny, has a huge ego, and probably hasn't seen the light of day in years. He tends to view himself with importance and look down at everyone else. He also beats up newbies a lot.12) He is usually publicly ridiculed in the streets by most other contestants.


JtPN 'accomplished' many firsts on this video game due to spending hours playing and blogging on the enquirer. Outside the Island, JtPN's accomplishments are significantly less numerous. Amounting to 0.

JtPN made his 'acomplishments' by making huge donations and buying unfair advantages with them. Without money to throw around, JtPN would be amoung the lowliest of characters. Beaten to death by the smallest Newbies.13)

After Some Revisions

  • First mansion on the Island that wasn't built with outside help.14)

* Currently in first in total Drive Kills.

* Currently in first in Quest Points.

* Currently in first in Charm.

  • First to have a section like this on his Wiki page because he feels unappreciated.15)
  • First to piss off every other player on the island.
  • #1 Prick.
  • First person to publicly humiliate himself via sex tapes.
1) That stands for Jesus the Pirate Ninja, by the way.
2) Wait a second, he named himself Jesus? What an egotistical prick!
3) You know, I wish I could cover him with spaghetti right now.
4) I'd be like, enjoy your spaghetti, you're very egotistical.
5) Next time that you see him, you should cover him with spaghetti.
6) Demosthenes defeated him, so he is no longer the strongest.
7) JtPN has achieved his immense strength due to his prolonged exposure to online gaming. Many think that he should emerge from his mom's basement into 'Real Life'
8) He claims that he's not influenced by improbability at all and that his tendencies toward the unrealistic are 'miraculous,' not 'improbable.'
9) Srsly, does anyone, even for one second, even take the time to even think about that being true?
10) Because he actually thought that publicly humiliating himself would get him some friends. What the hell was he smoking when he released it is the real question.
11) In fact, a lot of them want to kill him.
12) What an asshole, what did newbies ever do to him?
13) And that's exactly what should happen.
14) The Count of Saint Germain's was funded in part by Cheshire Cat. It is speculated that the two helped each other as friends. JtPN, with no friends, was forced to fund his mansion himself.
15) His unappreciation is deserved
Logged in as: Guest (Guest)
jesusthepirateninja.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:35 (external edit)