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Jonathan Barbie is a bit of an enigma, to be honest1)2). For starters, she's a bi-gendered3) cis-female4) who grew up in the Far North of Canada, a place fairly similar to one that Improbable Citizens all know and love. For seconds, she's terrible at making comebacks and telling jokes, and isn't very good with riddles either5). However, what has to be the most puzzling thing about her is the fact that she simply isn't bothered too much with Improbability, or the Drive, or the fact that her Joker friends keep fiddling with her appearance6). Other, more mundane details about this character can be found below.


Extremely androgynous looking, Jonathan is blessed with wonderfully average brown eyes and rather healthy looking, short and shaggy brown hair purple hair7). She stands about 5'5"8) and weighs around 160lbs9). All in all, she is a spectacular specimen of humanity, being perfectly unique and interesting in every way.10)

When feeling female, Jonathan is dressed in a light purple sweater. When male, he wears a green button down. His jeans stay the same mottled-blue colour11)12) that they've been since he first got to the island. For footwear, she wears sensible black leather shoes13). If she's wearing armour, it is either underneath or overtop of her clothing.14)


Before being kidnapped and taken to the Island, Jonathan ran a tourist train from New York to Toronto. He didn't have much of a life outside of that; the outside world and its problems 'bored' him15), though he did lurk in libraries on his few days off.16) Before working on the train, Jonathan lived with his parents in17) the Far North of Canada18)19)20), living in a log cabin and learning all sorts of interesting things, among which are hunting, trapping, fishing, and being able to weave a grass bracelet in under a minute21)22). Unfortunately, Jonathan had gotten rather rusty at all those skills23) after he moved to the city. Fortunately, it was once he moved to the city24)25) that he discovered a secret love of taking apart things. After dismantling a multitude of objects,26) he noticed he had gotten quite good at dismantling, and it is now his most prominent skill.27)


At present, Jonathan spends her time lounging about the Common Ground28) when she's not battling in the Jungle or wandering around the Island. Because she stays in the Commons so much, she has grown to know several of its usual inhabitants and as such has befriended a few Contestants.29) Currently she's trying to save up as much Req as she can, the little money mongrel...


In the future, Jonathan sees herself enjoying a quiet life on a beach somewhere, preferably a tropical island beach.30) Of course, she'll be filthy rich at this point, and have many friends31) to indulge her every whim.


Anything else you want to know about Jonathan Barbie is listed here.32)


Okay, so. In a nutshell, those who are bi-gendered identify as both male and female, depending on when you meet them. A more complete33) description can be found here.


After a run-in with his Clan Leaders34), Jonathan encountered a spot of Improbability that left him with a small cow-coloured cat named Cybil. Cybil is an outgoing little brat who loves attention and hates the Jungle. So far she has not encountered the Improbability Drive,35) and she intends to keep it that way.

Jonathan's possessions, besides the kitten, consist of a leather-bound journal, a small interchangeable screwdriver, and a gold pocket-watch with a chain. The chain he found in the Jungle36), the screwdriver he bartered for at Sheila's, and the journal he made himself after he heard the side effects of having tea with Horatio.37)


If you have to ask, you've obviously never met her. On the whole, she's a realistic, 38)logical egomaniac who rarely seems to lose her temper.39) She's not terribly useful with helping people, as she is rather awful with social interaction.40) She is hyper on the rare occasion, preferring to save her strength for Jungle battles and self-preservation.


Now, Jonathan isn't much of one to fall all over herself fawning after someone, but there is a certain person she holds above all else. If you ask about said person, Jonathan will sure sing praises41), so if'n you're curious that's all you have to do.

1) Honesty? In the Wiki of LIES?
2) If you believe that, I've got a Bridge in Squat Hole that's for sale
3) Don't worry, I'll explain
4) Meaning, female-bodied
5) Could be all those Improbable Colas she keeps knocking back
6) She does have a lot of those Joker friends
7) A run-in with one of her aforementioned Joker friends
8) Or so; her height sometimes fluctuates
9) As does her weight
10) And not at all average at all!
11) Stained with all sorts of nastiness
12) Really, he ought to wash them sometime. Positively filthy
13) The kinds that are on the feet of lawyers and doctors and the like
14) Duh.
15) Which is why he's having 'so much fun' on the Island
16) He's a secret bibliophile; don't tell him I told you
17) As it's been said before
18) Yes, all that Capitalization is necessary
19) It's for EMPHASIS on the extremity of the Far North
20) I mean, we're talking Arctic Circle here, practically
21) Which, if you've ever tried to weave a grass bracelet, is quite the feat
22) Especially if you're using short grass
23) Except for the grass weaving, thank goodness
24) Which he did after he had grown too old to enjoy fishing stories
25) Which was at about age seventeen
26) including, but not limited to: cats, hose, cars, engines, telephones, mattresses, typewriters, catapults, and batteries
27) Well, that, and being sent to the FailBoat
28) If you're looking for her, chances are she'll be here
29) You know who you are.
30) But of course, we all know how often THOSE turn up...
31) And butlers
32) Unless, of course, it isn't
33) And wordy
35) As she runs away whenever Jonathan gets close to it
36) After a particularly nasty battle with a Ministry Man
37) Which is why he keeps this journal with him at all times, and does not let anyone else touch it for fear of messing with his memories
38) Fairly
39) More because she can't be arsed to argue, as she can get quite offended
40) Some say it's because she was home-schooled all her life, but I disagree
41) Whether or not they are deserved is another matter entirely
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jonathan_barbie.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)