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The Merchant Josef Raikov


Born somewhere in the east, though due to excessive senility is incapable of recalling what it was like, or his history for that matter, only that he was a traveling merchant and that he has exceptional hearing in his right ear and is deaf in the left ear; half deaf really. That, however, is unimportant. He has managed to prosper on Improbable Island having found his true love, Jeanine the Giant Hedgehog, and starting a family. If you really want to find him you should just look around for a crazy old man trying to "sell" stuff for free with his son, Mr. Fluffums the Sentient Toaster, in his stand which is really a foldable box. He is frinds with many gremlins, and knows a lot about their history, could be dementia however. His specialty is fried hedgehogs and buttered toast due to his son being a toaster. (CAUTION: Hedgehogs may be infected with the Bubonic Plague! Consumption may cause boils, sneezing, and premature death!)

Plot Summary:

Has avoided most interactions besides things about business..Come to think of it some people did give him hell a while back for cooking Hedgehogs, but whatever.

Apparent Characteristics:

The first thing you may notice is the rickety stand that he runs or the crap and food he's trying to give away, or the fact that he's never seemed to have heard the word "razor"...Or "haircut" for that matter. And that he is exceptionally old to be in such a strange predicament. then you may notice, if you are perceptive, that he seems to be married to a Giant Hedgehog and his biological son is a sentient toaster!!! Oh Improbable Island, how strange you are!


Nothing special; Fluent in Binary (his son is a toaster, after all) and fluency in Hedgehog-nese (his wife is a Giant Hedgehog, after all.) And is quite capable as his special brand of merchant. And cooks some mean Hedgehog and toast.

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josef_raikov_s_wiki_page.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)