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Wanker.1) Jerk. Avoid.

Proof he's a jerk:

  • Actively hunts bugs and exploits.
  • Encourages people to try the higher ranks, then laughs when he sees them on the FailBoat.
  • He often offers advice, even when people least ask for it.
  • He boasts about anything he feels even the slightest bit proud of.
  • Sticks exclusively to Bastard Ranks. Partly out of spite, partly because they match his character.
  • Was the first to do 50 consecutive Bastards. 2)
  • As far as he knows, he's the first and only to achieve a 1 day bastard rank without a single trip to the failboat.
  • Oh, and there were a few Bastard-ranks without any equipment. One as a Robot.
  • Unable to juggle even while standing on one foot and making faces.3)4)5)6)

Should you encounter a wild Maniak on the Island, apply Monster Repellent. He'll then tell you why you suck for attempting such a manoeuvre and offer a superior alternative7). Worry not, Maniak and his ramblings rarely stay in one spot for too long.8)

Rewards Programme

Alright listen up you lowly maggots. I've come to the conclusion that I hate all of you and want to see you all suffer. I have established a Rewards Programme9) to promote self-destruction. If any of you weaklings can actually survive a Rank 6/Rank 7 or Bastard Rank you'll receive fabulous prizes like Teleporters, Crates or Cookies. Get cracking so I can hear your tormented screams on the failboat.

Natter10) or Distract Maniak to join.

1) Actually he is a Wanker. I've seen proof. Had to wash my eyes out with soap aftewards. True story.
2) see point 4
3) But we love watching him try. SO ADORABLE!
7) ZAP grenade
8) Thank the gods.
9) The -me is vital to the Rewards Programme
10) Ha ha, he wrote this when we still had Natters. How cute!
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maniak.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)