Oh, hello. I almost assumed you didn't see me there. Yes, I know the saying is typically "I almost didn't see you there", but my situation is different.
I am afflicted with what I like to call "Visually Based Existential Awareness Paradox". Basically what it means is that if I'm not in your field of vision, you don't know or remember that I exist. While this little oddity does have its advantages, constantly having to reintroduce myself can be very annoying at times.
My hair is blond and my eyes are green, though nobody seems to notice that due to my remarkably average and nondescript appearance. It's not like you can see my eyes behind my sunglasses, anyway. I wear mirrored aviators for a reason, and not just because they compliment my top hat nicely. ;~D
I suppose I could tell you about some of my hobbies. Some of the things I like are terrible puns, long-winded tall tales, stage magic, stargazing, spying on people who don't know I'm there (or even exist), and Jokers. Actually, I find Jokers to be quite fascinating and I hope to be one myself some day. I also like zombies. Maybe it's the whole "dead and not dead" thing. Mutants, however, are frisking scary. They hate sunglasses, too.
What's that? What am I doing here on the island? Well, I've already said more than I care to. Why don't you ask me next time you see me. That is, if you can remember me. ;~}
Name: Mr. (pronounced Mister) Infrablack (may or may not be a pseudonym)
Current Title(s): Ordinarily Mysterious, Enigmatic Humanoid
Current DK Rank: Rank 3
Current Species: Human
Age: Unknown (looks to be in his late twenties to early thirties)
Height: 6'1"/185 cm
Weight: Varies (usually on the skinny side)
Hair Color: Blond
Eye Color: Olive Green (with occasional transitions to and from Gray)
Distinguishing Clothing: A slightly battered black top hat and a pair of gunmetal gray mirrored aviator sunglasses
Distinguishing Body Markings: A yellow star tattoo below his left ear, a gray infinity symbol tattoo on his chest, a small red skull tattoo on the right side of his neck (Right over the jugular, too. Why would anyone put one there?), a long, thin scar running along the right side of his jaw, and a BIG FRICKIN' METAL BOX attached to the left side of his head
Known Associates: Linkara, Walt, delightedsphinxe (aka Sergei), The Improbably Normal Zephyr, Skye, Jasser
Additional Notes: Aside from his Visually Based Existential Awareness Paradox, there is something incredibly strange about this guy. So strange that it seems mundane, actually.
~ Unlike most humans, midgets, KittyMorphs, Jokers, etc, Robots are capable of remembering Mr. Infrablack without any difficulty. Some other people who are known to be immune to his VBEAP are Zephyr, Kuroiten, Linkara, Walt, Zecarius, Sergei1), Caelan, Ment, Skye, and Duk. And maybe Svergon, though that's only a suspicion.
~ Mr. Infrablack loathes the cameras. It is a hatred most serious and vehement. If you find a destroyed or otherwise vandalized camera and he's nearby, it was definitely him who did it.
~ Boats, ships, dingies, and all other seafaring vessels are something else that Mr. Infrablack absolutely abhors.
Including Especially the Failboat.2)
~ According to some sources, Mr. Infrablack is capable of grinning in an astoundingly creepy way. It is a grin most frightening and possibly even soul-damaging, and he's not afraid to use it on you if you make him mad enough. He even has a Creepy Voice to go with the Creepy Grin, apparently. Rumor has it that his eyes even change from their fernish, jadelike green to a very dark and stormy gray when this happens. Notrumor states that he's only ever used the Creepy Grin/Voice/Eyes combo on Linkara3)4), Kuroiten, and Jasser. Also, his Creepy Voice has recently been muted from a roaring drone to a near inaudible whisper, thanks to Silcatra.
~ Mr. Infrablack has a really frisking odd way of swearing and ship like that, though he doesn't give a rat's arts if you go around using that whole "real swearwords" cram. He's not one to tell you to straighten up your bloomy sopping language.
~ Mr. Infrablack has a favorite tree, located in NewHome. It may or may not be the only tree located within the walls of NewHome, and is apparently an oak tree. This tree is where he likes to sit and relax, and sometimes sing or star gaze. It's also where he usually sleeps. The tree was recently violently uprooted in a horrible, senseless act of whywouldyouevendothat by Ment and later replaced by her.
~ Mr. Infrablack has his own room at The Madhouse, a dwelling owned by Linkara and located at 17,4. Visitors to the place have noted the room as being very gray, very messy, and very full of books.
~ Mr. Infrablack has pockets that defy the laws of physics by being not attached to his clothes in any way. It's quite normal5) to see him pull various items out of thin air. The most commonly seen amongst these various items is a brass pocket watch on a chain. It's said that his nonpockets are incredibly deep.
~ Mr. Infrablack sports a long, thin scar running along the right side of his jaw, which he got upon beating the drive for the first time. It was originally a stitched-up gash, but the wound turned into a scar after he changed races from zombie to midget.
~ Mr. Infrablack's sunglasses went missing for a while and were briefly seen in the possession of Linkara during a covert jungle meeting between the two of them.6) They have since been returned.
~ Instead of his usual Spatial Awareness implant, Mr. Infrablack currently sports a Skull-Mounted Lazer attached to the left side of his head. He has yet to enjoy the presence of this so-called "BIG FRISKING METAL BOX", which he claims is the result of not reading the pre-surgery forms thoroughly enough and checking the wrong box by mistake. Or so he claims. I mean, it's not like he did it on purpose for any reason. Right?
~ Mr. Infrablack is an obscure celebrity, apparently. Right before he came to Improbable Island, he was a one-hit-wonder lounge singer in Paris. His tearjerker hit song "Douce-amere" (Bittersweet) made him quite famous in the eyes of the French, as well as earning him the nickname "Le Joyeux Pleureuse de Paris" (The Merry Mourner of Paris). However, not only did he write just the one song (the other songs in his repetoire all being covers of classic songs by Frank Sinatra, Wayne Newton, and Johnny Cash) but he never gained any amount of recognition outside of France.