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Like the now-destroyed old Pittsburgh, New Pittsburgh is filled with zombies - as far as the eye can seen, flesh-eating zombie after zombie. As the center of the Island's Zombie population, New Pittsburgh carries a distinct smell of rotting flesh, fresh green curry, and the neighborhood dim sum emporiums. Neitzsche said that whatever does not kill you makes you stronger, but he forgot to mention that what does kill you makes you a Zombie and sends you to New Pittsburgh for the rest of your existence.1)

Aside from the annual barbecue festival, featuring freshly trapped newbies from the local jungle, there's not much to recommend New Pittsburgh itself, but the surrounding area is a scenic vista of breath-taking deserts. Located to the west of Improbable Central, New Pittsburgh is surrounded on three sides by deserts.2)

Major attractions in New Pittsburgh include:

  • BRAAAAIIIINS3). A quaint little restaurant serving fine dining, such as braaaains and braaaaaains.
  • Vigour Mortis. The second best pub on Improbable Island. George the Bartender serves 3 drinks. Brain Hemorrhage for 35 req, Monster Mash for 50 req and Special Sauce for 65 req. Drinks last 15, 25 and 30 rounds respectively. Drink all 3, and you're invulnerable4).

Travelers seeking hot, dry climates will be drawn to New Pittsburgh - as long as they don't mind their neighbors gnawing on their bones every now and then.

1) Aren't our editors clever? Here they're pretending you even care who Neitzsche was. Well, before he died, anyway.
2) Rumors that these areas are the remains of an older city long ago destroyed by thermonuclear weapons are completely untrue. Everyone knows the Science Center in Improbable Central will not invent thermonuclear weapons for another three years. Likewise, the rumor that Clan QQQ has already developed these is completely unfounded and probably not true, not at all.
3) This may not be the correct spelling
4) not really
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new_pittsburgh.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:35 (external edit)