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NewHome, located near the southern shore of Improbable Island, is the dumping ground for new contestants, also known as newbies. All new contestants start here. Additionally, NewHome is the home of the Human population, which no doubt accounts for the odd smell most travelers notice immediately upon entering the city walls. Recently, this outpost was renovated, after ratings at the end of Season 1 plummeted, and test audiences cited NewHome's all-beige, all-over color scheme as a leading cause. The Watcher responded by firing the neighborhood watch association and bringing in a cleanup crew to address the problematic graffiti.

Major attractions in NewHome include:

  • Joe's Dojo. This training and evaluation center is open to Humans only. Other races will find the dojos for their populations in their home cities instead. 1) In addition to the occasional evaluation fights between contestants looking to rise through the ranks versus the mentors (called 'masters')2) who seek to publicly humiliate them, Joe's hosts a weekly exhibition match and barn dance, generally scheduled for Friday nights.3)
  • Basic Training. Because The Watcher's minions4) tend to drop off new contestants in NewHome, the Basic Training center is a mandatory first stop for new arrivals. Inside, you'll find a lot of basic information about what to do, what to watch out for5), and so on. While the Strategy Hut staff delivers helpful hints about overall gaming, the Basic Training staff will whip you into shape6) with everything you need to know about the mechanics of operating on the Island. Once they're finished with you, your next stop should be the Island Museum to get a history of this place.
  • The Island Museum. When the Basic Training staff has finished abusing you, and while you're waiting for those unsightly bruises to heal before you go out in public, take a tour of the Museum. Here you'll find all manner of antique curiosities7) from the Island's past. Looking for an easy first mission? Visit all the exhibits in the museum. After you've visited each exhibit, talk to the curator, and he'll give you an easy mission. 8) Here you'll find: the "How it All Started: exhibit, a film; the Hall of Diversity and its important information about the improbability-infused races indigenous to the Island; and the Hall of Relics and Hall of Revolutions and their information about technological marvels associated with the Island's early days.9)
  • Sheila's Shack O'Shiny. Before you head out into the Jungle, you should pay Sheila a visit. Then pay her for armour and a weapon. You'll need it.
  • Joe's Diner. As any new resident will tell you, Joe runs NewHome. He runs the Dojo, he runs the Council, and he runs the outpost's only diner. Stop in for a snack or a drink. Keeping your strength up is important, if you're going to take in everything NewHome has to offer and tour the local jungle too. Joe will also buy Half-Decent meat here, after you've cleaned some carcasses in the Jungle. He pays 5 req per bit.
  • Failboat Inclined Contestants. It's always fun to watch the naked new arrivals wandering the Outpost all googly-eyed and lost.
  • Strategy Hut. This magical place will give short words of wisdom.. For a small fee.

Overall, NewHome is affordable, if smelly, and the locals have started an aggressive land defence project, with more Outpost walls springing up every day. Be sure to visit the local jungle during your stay. Just stroll right in, find yourself some monsters, and poke them with your weapon of choice.10)

1) That's kinda the point of having a home city.
2) Watch out - if a contestant is beaten by the master, the contestant will have to wait until the next day to challenge the master again. Delays, delays - but them's the risks one has to face.
3) The rumor that Joe's Dojo is run by Caveman Joe as a sadistic way to have contestants beaten up periodically is, of course, a lie. There is no connection between the two Joes. None at all. Nope.
4) Well, we think they're hers. The alternatives are too scary to contemplate.
5) Don't overfill your backpack!
6) Or, uhm, just whip you, y'know, if you're into that.
7) A.K.A. "old crap"
8) He will tell you to visit all of the cities and collect something from each Council Office. After you make your collection, bring everything to the Museum and he will give you 10 cigs.
9) This technology no longer works here, thanks to improbability, so the items themselves are of little use. Still, you might glean a few facts that make your search for the Improbability Drive easier.
10) They love it - really, they do - and it keeps them from getting lazy. Go poke a few right now.
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newhome.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)