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So, I got dis cousin, Thibodeaux, down in Loo-siana. Dey rich, dey got a double-wide trailer an' ev'ryt'ing.

But mah frien', let me tell you, Thibodeaux' daughter? She UUGGGGG-LEEEEE. Got a face like she tried t' answer de waffle iron when de phone was ringin'. An' one day, Thibodeaux go into her room, an' - she usin' one of dem personal vibratin' massagers? You know, de kin' dat you s'pose to use on your face but nobody do? Well, she ain' usin' it on her face at leas'.

Thibodeaux, he go, Girl, what you doin'?

Thibodeaux' daughter, she say, Oh, daddy, I sorry, but I so ugly, I ain' nevah gon' have a husband or a boy-frien, and I got to do somet'in' -

Thibodeaux, he say, Well, dat dam' sad. An' he leave her 'lone.

De nex' day, Thibodeaux' daughter, she go in de' livin' room, and dere her daddy, watchin' de Sain's game wit' a beer in one han' an' dat vibrator in de ot'er han'. An' she look horr'fied, and go Daddy, what you doin'?

An' Thibodeaux, he say, Girl, you leave me 'lone. I'm havin' a drink wit' my son-in-law. 1)

1) Originally from Pinkard and Bowden's Live In Front Of A Bunch Of D***heads, one of the finest redneck comedy albums ever.
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personal_massager.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:35 (external edit)