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    		 Enquirer Home Page | Twitter | Back to Improbable Island
     
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    Table of Contents

    Clan QuackQuackQuack (QQQ)

    Clan QQQ is a small, secretive, fairly minor guild1)2) hardly worth mentioning at all, occasionally seen running through cities at high rates of speed3), making nonsense comments to one another 4), and generally wearing ill-fitting clothes in public.

    Things that are known

    • It's a pretty buff Clan, that much is true. So buff, in fact, that the buffs were maxed out the very day this Clan was formed in Season Two.
    • Despite being quite vague about their core values, they fiercely defend anything even slightly duck-related. Even going so far as to plan duck kidnapping, and follow a certain Duk around the Outposts until he agreed to join.
    • They've been described as wonderfully bonkers. Others doubt the existance of marbles in the Quackers' community 5)6). The Quackers themselves find it better that way.
    • Sentient beanbags. Oozing beads all over the carpet, bothering visitors, multiplying at a terrifying speed, and even possibly claiming a few clan members for mealtimes. The scourge of the QQQ Clan Halls.
    • Sentient Algae7). Like their sort of cousins, the sentient beanbags. The algae has become a new threat to the clan members who were strong enough to survive the sentient beanbags.
    • Self-aware common room. When Akogi vandalized the second wave of renovations Kash completed, he added not only artistic character but real character8)9) as well. Improbability works in strange ways10)11)12)
    • Keeping typo gremlins away from harm's way. 13)
    • Acting more improbably than Humans, but not quite so much as Jokers.14)

    History

    That Annoying Epaphus founded QQQ and rules it with an iron thumb. Not the whole fist - just the thumb. He keeps a tank of carp behind his desk and has been known to deal with dissent about the clan's ranks by slapping the dissenters repeatedly about the face and neck with a live carp. 15) 16)

    Major campaigns for the clan included:

    • The Great Squid Debacle of 1957.17)
    • Hosting the monthly Free Broken Glass and Slurpees Day at major sporting events throughout the island.
    • A couple years ago's 'Teach Your Spiderkitty To Polka' seminar, attended by over 100 spiderkitties.18)
    • Serving improbability-flavored popcorn at the Curious Looking Rock at the End-Of-The-World party19) that marked the end of everything that came before Season 1.
    • Saving the entire Island by defeating the Giant Hurricane of Wilberforce.20)
    • Participated in defending Outposts during the Great Endless Outpost Invasions and was responsible for defending both Pleasantville and Cyber City 404
    • The Infamous DUCK BOMBING21) of The Bingo Hall, in which every room in this labyrinthine edifice received a rubber ducky. 22) The DUCK BOMBING also involved the sentient algae. 23)
    • The Alleged Kidnapping of GERM's hatrack Declan 24) in return for a laundry list of demands, such as clotted cream and batteries.
    • The Rescue of the last two missing Sentient Rubber Ducks who disappeared after *the Accident*25)
    • They participate in the annual celebration of Quackmas 26). Where they give gifts to good boy ducks and girl ducks and give rubber ducks to non-ducks.

    Investigation into the Groups other activities reveals the Erection27) of a hidden shrine deep in the mountains near Cyber City. 28) However, not to be outdone by other Clans' monstrously amazing buildings 29), QQQ has begun work on an Embassy just south of IC, to play host to any other clan who wishes representation.

    Members

    Clan membership is open to pretty much anyone, even Jokers. I mean, these people obviously have have very little few standards.30)31)32) But they do have strong clan buffs.

    Like many other clans though, the QQQ clan has a policy for booting members out of the clan for those members who haven't been that active. If a valid reason is given then the only thing members would have to watch out is if they become too inactive and their characters get deleted. For new members, we give roughly 50 days of inactivity and then you're out the door. For everyone else, you would get a warning around the 50 day point and then will be kicked out if there is no more space in the clan and they still are active.

    Current Member List

    Member Dwellings

    • The Clan Embassy - One click S of IC
    • Epaphus - One click north of CC404 - Castle Quagmire
    • Akogi - Two clicks SW of CC404 - Duck Manor
    • Micha - One click W, one click SW of Squat Hole (9,15) - The Test Kitchen
    • Byte - 2 clicks NE of Kittania - Improbable Bordello 33)
    • Skoddy - One Click NE from AceHigh - Crow Bar
    • Kash - Intelligence suggests Obviously it's near Ace High (11,33)
    • Jakell - One click north of New Pittsburgh- The Titan's Breach Retreat and Spa (4, 16)34)
    • Maniak - 5 Clicks SW of CC404 - The Supply Crate 35)
    1) Anything you know about the clan is a complete lie
    2) Also ignore, the fact that QQQ is one of the larger clans on the island. That's just from membership inflation.
    3) Sometimes a tad too high.
    4) They understand each that's what matters
    5) Every Quack knows marbles do not exist in your head, they exist in your pocket or on the ground for others to step on
    6) Next person to be able to fully count the number of marbles in the floor of the clan hall wins a prize
    7) Just don't ask how it was created and there will be no questions about how you found out about them
    8) I'd like to introduce my new character. Their name is the QQQ Clan hall.
    9) If you see it around, tell it's lost please. The Quacks would highly appreciate it.
    10) Actually it works in uite logical ways... well in Horatio's mind anyway
    11) I mean come on, I can understand giving me a tail, but turning me into a robot. Come on
    12) Though it wasn't bad... I just got really warm
    13) That can be argued now that Kestrel is gone
    14) After all, who has that kind of time and energy? Well, Jokers do, but it's their nature.
    15) The carp view this as just another annoyance they have to put up with in exchange for free fish food.
    16) They're fat and sassy carp, so the arrangement seems to be working for them.
    17) This event is classified, and any inquiries will cause somebody to be smacked about the face and neck with a live carp. Seriously - we mean it. It happened to us. We're trying to save you from a carp-slapping here.
    18) They were really cute, all lined up in their matching eight-legged lederhosen - except for that fat one on the end. Wow, that was one ugly spiderkitty.
    19) An invitation-only event. Don't be sad if you weren't invited. There's always next time - and the way these resets are going, there will be a next time. Any day now. Yep, yep, yep.
    20) Technically, this has not happened yet, but it will. Time is an illusion.
    21) Not to be confused with the original duck bombing
    22) Heavily modified to include surveillance camera, with equipment outright stolen from the FailBoat.
    23) You also can't forget the pool and the 80 kilos of rubber ducks in there
    24) see germ_coppers for police records
    25) obviously a lie
    26) Please don't ask how the tradition started, it's better not to ask questions
    27) snigger. Oh, come on, did you have to use that word?
    28) Rumours state that the hidden shrine was damaged by monsters during the Great Endless Outpost Invasions
    29) We're looking at you, GERM
    30) As long as you can handle ducks and gremlins then you're alright!
    31) We encourage you to spill your secrets about breeding them for a secret programme as well
    32) We're talking about the ducks in case you were wondering
    33) A fine establishment, much better than the Squat whorehouse in Squat Hole
    34) Also better then a Squat whorehouse, but probably not a kittymorph whorehouse
    35) Includes a Squat whorehouse!
     
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    qqq.txt · Last modified: 2019/09/02 04:13 by carmine