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Romancing the Sammich - Chapter 2

The Morning After the Night Before - Squat Hole

(2d2h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim sniffs the air. He'd woken for the events, his nostrils twitching in the dawn when Bernard and the evil Sammich fought. Now, he guards the consecrated ground, and waits for the evening.

(2d1h) <CDAG> Merlin appears, and listens with interest to the echoes. She notices the bit of disturbed earth that now houses their Sammich. She says a quick prayer of thanks to St. Bernard for his help.

(2d1h) <CDAG> Merlin snaps her fingers and a harp appears in her hand. That's different. In fact, everything is different now. Merlin's taller, better dressed, and the lack of ears and a tail is plainly obvious.

(2d1h) <CDAG> Merlin smiles, and her eyes glow faintly. She sits down next to the consecrated ground and begins to play a gentle melody. The music fills Squat hole and, for a moment, there's a touch of beauty there.

(2d1h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim looks round and grins at the new Joker "Morning Merlin. Sleep well?"

(2d1h) <CDAG> Merlin ends the tune and, with another snap, the harp dissappears. She nods at Sink, then quietly walks away make preparations for the coming events.

(2d1h) <CDAG> Merlin turns, "Oh Sink, I didn't know you were up. I slept quite well, thank you. And you?" She gestures. "Things happened while I was gone it seems."

(2d1h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim smiles. "Yeah, a strange night. Bernard handled it though. And maybe for the best, I'd hate a bout of lupine violence to spoil our preparation"

(2d1h) <CDAG> Merlin nods. "True. Bernard is always able to handle most anything one throws at him." She thinks for a moment. "Unless perhaps an Elephant. I'm sure that would be painful if thrown..."

(2d1h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim laughs quietly. "I would say 'I'd like to see you try and throw an elephant', but with that new form, who knows what you're capable of. A change of choice, or did Horatio force it upon you?"

(2d1h) <CDAG> Merlin lightly fingers the brim of her top hat. "I believe it was a mutual decision. For the best... or worst, depending on your point of view." She grins. "This might be useful later, though."

(2d1h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim smiles at his Clan mate. "It suits you, I think. And Joker powers certainly have their place." He nods at the consecrated earth "I wonder how our little protege is doing..."

(2d1h) <CDAG> Merlin returns her gazes to the sammich's burial ground. "We shall just have to see." she tips her hat at the werewolf. "If you'll excuse me, I have a few things that must be done."

(2d1h) <CDAG> Merlin smiles, and then, a little wobbly as it is her first time, She disappears in a flash of confetti.

(2d1h) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo ,with a loud growling, comes out from his clay-state. Looking around, he's astounded by the destruction of his defenses. On the other hand, he slept wonderfully well, a stone's sleep...

2d1h) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo says, "What happned here? The Evil One came? Stupid question, of course he came!"

(2d) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim nods at Paul. "It came, Bernard dealt with it. The new Sammich is in incubation, and now we wait again." He nods towards a hot kettle on the ground nearby "Tea?"

(2d) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo nods, his mind still around here... he takes out his bowl and puts in some tea, then sits and enjoys.

(2d) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo snickers and croaks, "Seems we weren't that efficient as guards; I got too confident about my defenses..."points at the candles "And you didn't wake up... did the ghost wolves help?"

(2d) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim sips his tea. "I was awake, but wasn't needed. They were on guard too, but the Saint dealt with it. I worry that if violence had been necessary, it would have tainted the 'good' sammich"

(2d) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim continues. "And we can't afford for that to happen. So, all for the best perhaps."

(2d) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo takes a sip and puts out a disco die from his pocket. He makes it reflect the embers' light.

(2d) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo says, "You are probably right. May the future tell us so."

(2d) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess has been running around between here and Pleasantville, but now settles on a rock. Which is rather encrusted, but this is of no bother for her - floating just a bit over the ground and rock as usual.

(2d) <CDAG> Saint Bernard seems to split the sky open, and clambers through, "Hello, you lot. Did you notice. Bloody Sammich attacked. It wandered off in that direction..." says he, pointing to the jungle.

(2d) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess avoided it. She waves to the concentrated visages of those assembled - CDoG, CDAge, Cdaggers and the like - and goes back to casting glances of various kinds around, especially at the watch.

(2d) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo grins. "Hello, Bernard. Seems that It got pretty enraged, by the trails of sauce..."

(2d) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim smiles at the approaching Saint. "Nice entrance, Uncle. Yeah, I saw you deal with it. Quick thinking saved the day, well done." He pauses. "It's still not too far away. I can smell it."

(2d) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo throws his disco die into a minuscule void hole, which closes immediatly after.

(2d) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim waves a paw back at Third, sitting on her floating rock. You know you've been on this island too long when such things fail to surprise you...

(2d) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo sniffs the air and pouts. He clouds the area with a holy-water scented spray. Traces of sauce sizzle, the air loses a little of its evil stench. Sadly, it does nothing against Squat Hole's stench.

(2d) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo tosses the bottle of 'perfume' into the campfire's remnant. A vacuum-like mouth opens, engulfing the mist and itself in the process.

(2d) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim jumps backwards away from the vacuum. "Leave the holy water to Bernard, Paul. Some of us are not exactly what you'd call biblical - you included!" Supernatural things make him edgy.

(2d) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo croaks, "Hmm, you don't like my eau de vie? It's my holy water..."

(2d) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo laughs wickedly.

(2d) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim shakes his head. " It's UN-holy, mate. And sack Eau-de-Vie, I'll stick with goold old Uisge Beatha thanks very much.

(2d) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo stands up and croaks, "I'll be back, possibly before our Creation arises. Until then, tchsuss!" He disappears in a shower of sparking beads.

(2d) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim sighs "Tschuss, Paul. Viel spass..."

(1d23h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess has her eyes on some spot in the Jungle now. Then twitches a little at the accent.

(1d23h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard comes back from checking the tupperware, he's looking a little white, "Ahem, I'm not sure about it, is Merlin about, it's moved in the tupperware, but you know, no tendrils or dead newbies yet...

(1d23h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard continues, "So that's positive, right? I hope so, when I cursed when the Sammich attacked, I really thought I'd ballsed all this up." he sort of gurns at Paul, Sink and Third.

(1d23h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim looks at Bernard. "Relax, Saint. Merlin's not here, and we'll see when we see. A watched corpse never gets eaten by ants, y'know?"

(1d23h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard reckons Sink is right, no need to panic yet, the Sammich is still in it's tupperware sarcophagus - and the other one is no-where to be seen, if not smelt.

(1d23h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim smiles. "Sit and have a cup of tea, Bernard..." He winks and grins. "...And make me one while you're at it..."

(1d23h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard pulls a thermos flask out from under his robe, and pours a plastic beaker of hot sweet tea for Sink and himself, from the same place he produces some HobNobs, "Biscuit?" he kindly offers Sink one

(1d23h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim takes a HobNob. "Ah, the Royal Marines of the biscuit world. Cheers. Hey, just thinking, how are you at water into wine? Could be useful for the 1000 party!"

(1d23h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard grins, "Water to wine is a doddle, I'm not sure fish sandwiches will go down too well, though." a look of ecstasy comes over his face, "Hang on, I'm going to try tea into Ardbeg..."

(1d23h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim sips his tea, dubiously...

(1d23h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim nods approvingly. "Hmmm. Not Ardbeg, but seems to be Bunnahabhain. Not bad for a first try though!"

(1d23h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard sips his as well. "Not this tea, it's a bit early for something so peaty - but I'll boil some up later, perhaps. Phyllis can help.

(1d23h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess replaces a HobNob with heiligenschein ice-cream from the distance, wandering away. She spotted something there, and figured to better go check.

(1d22h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim is somewhat perplexed, as what was a perfectly robust HobNob melts and dribbles into his tea.

(1d21h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard appears as a pillar of salt in the middle of Squat Hole - he transmogrifies back into the Bernard you all know and love, and looks thirsty...

(1d21h) <CDAG> Merlin appears, dusting the confetti off her jacket. She rolls her eyes, why confetti? She looks toward Bernard. "You should not look back next time..."

(1d21h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard wasn't looking back, but somehow he got hold of a job-lot of salt, and it seemed like a good idea at the time.

(1d21h) <SPOON> Forest Shinobi Ryu enters SH fading into the shadows. She waits to see how Mer's "Reaserch" turns out.

(1d21h) <CDAG> Merlin walks over to the burial site of the sammich,her long skirts skimming the ground. She pulls a paper out of her satchel and studies it for a moment...Waiting.

(1d21h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim pricks his ears up. His clan appears to be full of loonies. But then again, he's one of them, so anyhoo...

The Birth

(1d20h) There is a faint shift in the fabric of space and time, and a few specks of mud shift from their resting place above the Sammich. A crack appears in the ground, then everything is still...

(1d20h) More dirt is dislodged from it's previous position, and you could swear you heard a faint chewing sound, and then a small snuffle. the crack becomes larger and then,coming from the ground..

(1d20h) <CDAG> Merlin looks quickly over at Sink, "They are here? Just in case?"

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim nods the affirmative. "They're ready, should we need them"

(1d20h) Suddenly,something jumps out of it's grave in the earth. It lands and shakes itself to dislodge any remaining dirt clinging to it's crust. It gazes up at the assembled with green olive eyes.

(1d20h) It flollops around the ground for a second, as if testing it's feet, er.. Crust. Then waves a sultry lettuce leaf. You could swear you saw an olive eye wink at you.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Merlin frowns. Stares at the paper in her hand, then back at the newly risen Sammich. "Well, that is certainly odd" she pauses then begins again, "odder than an undead sammich I mean."

(1d20h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess gazes at the something from her rock as if she never left. Did she, actually?

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim raises one eyebrow at Merlin. "Odd? What's odd?"

(1d20h) <CDAG> Merlin watches as the Sammich coyly slurps over to Sink, and bats another olive eye. It coos and waves it's lettuce at the Werewolf.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard looks on, wide-eyed, "Blimey", he managed to interject...

(1d20h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess wears a thoughtful face. "Telling from all limbs still attached, I'd say..." She stops as she continues to watch the sammich.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim looks slightly embarassed, and waves back. "Erm... Hi. Welcome to the world..."

(1d20h) <CDAG> Merlin tilts her head in amusement as The Panini of Passion scootches a little closer to Sink, gazing up at him in adoration.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard begins, warily, to approach. "Hello, Sammich I'm Bernard, this.." he waves his hand in the direction of Merlin, "Is Merlin, she's your mother..."

(1d20h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess thinks, success, then Holy Marlyn and Saint Josink? She deftly discards the thought, though. Might be inappropiate.

(1d20h) From deep in the jungle, SOMETHING watches... What is this that has been birthed? What are these mortal fools doing?

(1d20h) <CDAG> Merlin stifles a giggle and waves at the newborn Sammich. "Hullo dear. Don't worry, we are here for you." The sammich looks over and nods, but then fixes it's attention back on Sink.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim pats the Sammich absentmindedly. "Hi... I'm Sink... Nice to meet you"

(1d20h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess grows uneasy instead, and scans the Jungle.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim sniffs the air. His ears prick up, and he growls. "Sorry little 'un. We may have to go to work."

(1d20h) The Sammich of Seduction swirls and looks to the Jungle, all thought of Sink forgotton. It sniffs the air, then flollops around in a circle, before making a strange noise. Was that a squee?

(1d20h) <CDAG> Merlin also turns toward the jungle. "Oh my... It appears we may be running out of time." she looks back just in time to see the Panini of Passion rush off into the jungle. "HOLD ON! WAIT!"

A Dangerous Encounter

(1d20h) Pheromones waft towards the Semetary, the Holy Ground... Strange, scientific, magic is at work. The scent of a pita attacks the senses much as the Pita of Pain would attack a newbie. From behind... The Sammich leaves cover, and begins to flollop towards the group...

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim howls, and charges after the Sammich.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard whirls round to face the nemesis of many a contestant. "Come on then, you Bit... BAP!"

(1d20h) The newborn Sammich squeals again when it finally sights it's target. It stops for a moment , smears some Ketchup lipstick on it's crust, then waves a bit of Roast Beef in the air.

(1d20h) The Sammich puts paid to a mere were-wolf with but a flick and a shollop of its rancid mayo. Poor Sink is sent flying. It advances...

(1d20h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess , as a precaution, employs the same technique she used earlier at KK's personal warzone, and continues to watch.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Merlin rushes after the rest, waving her arms frantically. "Watch out little one, Watch out! It's Dangerous!"

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard is watching, not the Sammich but the Sammich. "Bloody hell, Merlin, look at THAT! She's after 'im... She's shaking her lettuce at 'im!" Ever the gentleman.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim stops his slide, and emits a long savage howl. From the jungle around come a short series of barks, from every direction. Sink looks back to the group "It's contained. The guards are in place"

(1d20h) <CDAG> Merlin halts in her tracks and watches the Sammich with a slightly odd expression."Oh...Oh My." She pulls out her papers. "I don't think that was supposed to happen."

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim snarls, and shakes mayo from his coat, then stops. The new Sammich is... flirting?

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard chuckles, "You're telling me, Merlin! I think she fancies it! Bloomin' hell, they're going to make little tea-sandwiches if we don't stop 'em! Sink! Try and head her off!"

(1d20h) Little Gherkin eyes widen. The Sammich flexes its crusts and seems to pose for the Sammich. Is this love, that we're seein'?

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim pauses, uncertain.

(1d20h) The poboy of prurience dances a strange and slighty disgusting dance, mayo and mustard spattering the surrounding area. It stops for a moment, then winks an olive suggestively

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard feels a bit nauseous, "Are they doing what I think they're doing?" he watches the Dagwood of Doom dance an approximation of the moves from Stayin' Alive (in honour of GVH), trying to impress.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard can't believe his eyes, the two sandwiches, one born of love and skill and the other of... Well... Of Tor burying it somewhere horrid... Dancing, mating... It's too much...

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim looks at Bernard, slightly queasy. "They are. Ewww"


(1d20h) <CDAG> Merlin 's eyes widen. "Oh My Goodness." The Hormone filled Hoagie is also watching the Dagwood, very very closely.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard doesn't know what to do, he looks at his clan-mates, eyes wide. This is not what they expected. Nor is it what they'd normally sign up to witness. There's no classic cars, for example.

(1d20h) The ghostly wolf pack slink back into the woods and disappear. Their intervention is unnecessary.

(1d20h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess has been through many gruesome battle, has seen Midget Tor/i on their worst, and a variety of nude bodies - yes, bodies - one might better ingnite... but this,

(1d20h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess has never seen before, and is both thankful for that, and... shall we say, horrified? "Mindbleach, stat.", she mutters.

(1d20h) <NBLUE> The Galumphing ploamphed sets down his statue, looks around and sees the crowd, decides perhaps this is not the right place either. He straps the statue back onto Bandersnatch, and rides off toward New Pittsburgh.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard turns whisky into Mindbleach and passes Third the bottle, "Here you go. Have a really BIG swig."

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim half covers his eyes with a paw, as the two Sammiches dance. A sickly fandago of dough and filling, mayo all over the place, but... somehow... right.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Merlin rolls up her sleaves and stomps over to the Sammichs . "HEY THERE, none of that now!" She points to The Reuben of Romance "You, right here. Right now!" She folds her arms and glares.

(1d20h) The Pita of Pain looks perplexed. Strange emotions swirl through it's evil bologna brain, things it doesn't understand. The urge not simply to... kill... but.... to... what?

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard is a little taken aback by the tone from Merlin, that's not a lady he'd ever seek to mess with.

(1d20h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess quite suddenly changes her opinion, looks at the bottle, and hands it a frozen Newbie in not-too-far distance. She can live with that, she's convinced.

(1d20h) The Panini of Passion hesitates for a moment, but with one look at Merlin's face, it knows she's serious. it take one last look at the Pita of Pain, then shlumps over to Merlin.

(1d20h) 'It' watches it's one-true-loaf head back towards the mortals... It resolves to take back it's mate. It turns, to head into the jungle...


(1d20h) <CDAG> Merlin kneels down and faces The Sammich. She sighs, then looks up at the others. "A little help here, please. I have never been a mother before."

(1d20h) The Torta of Terror twists to take one last glance at its love. It hates these mortals for coming between them. It will have revenge!

(1d20h) <DICE> Iridescent Third Sicpuess shifts to stand next to Merlin, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Mademoiselle Merlin, I do believe we have a teenager here." Or worse.

(1d20h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim looks up at Merlin, then down at their baby Sammich, then back at Merlin. "And you think I have? I'm as clueless as you, but he - the other Sammich - looks mighty pissed"

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard stomps over to the Sammich "You, young lady, ought to be ashamed of yourself, dressing like that! Your mother was worried sick!"

(1d20h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard has obviously oodles of experience of parenting techniques with pitas.

(1d19h) <CDAG> Merlin looks back to The Sammich."Dad is right, you know. Men never want to marry loose women, they only want to date them."She pauses and frowns."And you don't want to be a loose woman.. er sammich

(1d19h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard continues chuntering under his breath, "The length of that lettuce, you could almost see her tomato...."

(1d19h) <CDAG> Merlin glances sharply up at Bernard. "Encouraging words please!" she turns back,"Lettuce just dress a little more modestly from now on alright?" She frowns... was that a pun?

(1d19h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim intervenes on Sammich's behalf. "Hang on, guys. She (I think) is young. We can't be too heavy handed, not if we don't want her running off with the first Sammich she meets and resenting us..."

(1d19h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim thinks a while "...Gods, why am I saying this?! She's got at least 4 parents, and a whole Clan. Let's just take it easy."

(1d19h) <CDAG> Merlin looks down again as The Sammich's eyes begin filling with oily tears."Oh dear!" Merlin drops her hand and pats The Sammich on the head."There there.Uncle Sink is right, no more yelling

(1d19h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim hears the words 'Uncle Sink' and groans. Ah well, part of the Clan, part of the Family...

(1d19h) <CDAG> Merlin frowns, then smiles at the Sammich and continues. "We just want to keep you safe, dear. That's all."

(1d19h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard pats ineffectually at the Sammich's crust, "There, there, m'dear Croque Mademoiselle, don't be downhearted..."

(1d19h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim looks round the group. Saint, Joker, Sammich, Werewolf. "Shall we head back to the Halls guys. It's been a long day..."

(1d19h) <CDAG> Merlin nods "That is very true." She looks down, "Come along now, lets go see your new home." The Sammich snuffles then hops into Merlin's arms. "Right then, Shall we go?."

(1d19h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard nods, scanning the jungle to see... If... There was something there, watching the group... and if they could retreat, back, back to safety, the clan halls.

(1d19h) <CDAG> Notable Badass SinkOrSwim nods at Bernard. "If it turns up, there'll be a howl."

(1d19h) <CDAG> Saint Bernard waits until all of his clan members leave, then, with one final glance about, he climbs aboard a huge wooden boat, and heads towards Clan Halls.

(1d19h) The Beautiful Baguette also looks towards the jungle, and a small sigh escapes it's bolognia lips. It snuggles closer to Merlin and gives a small whimper as they enter the clan hall.

(1d2h) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo makes the remnants of all this event disappear into the swamps... in the cemetary

(1d2h) <CDAG> Mud Mage Paul Lo kills an interrupting cow. Erm, only the clean cemetary remains, as if unwary of the recent happenings.

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romancing_the_sammich_pt_2.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:35 (external edit)