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HUMAN: Sage was human first, so this is where we'll start. She's anywhere from 5'6 to 5'8 as a human. (Then why not say 5'7!) Medium curves, and wavy hair that's shockingly red. http://improbablesage.deviantart.com/#/d5lkx0v

KITTYMORPH: She's taller, leaner, stronger, and much, much more flexible and agile as a morph. Standing at 5'10 to 5'11, she has tabby fur of silverygrey accented by inky black stripes. Needle sharp retractable claws on her hands and feet. Has an extreme aversion to having her whiskers touched. Seriously. Don't touch her whiskers.1) http://improbablesage.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4rxy79

MIDGETMORPH: Sage was a male midgetmorph for a time; three feet tall, stout, extra floufy, and his fur had sort of inverted, changing to black with silvery stripes. Was your typical, ornery midget; hated being called cute, wasn't afraid to point and laugh, and rather enjoyed gloating about being the best.

ZOMBIE: Cold bluegrey skin, deadened nerves, black tongue, silent heart, dead all around. She didn't fare very well as a zombie and starved herself nearly constantly to try and avoid the tasty tasty BRAAIINS she needed, attacking several people in the process out of desperate hunger. Became more and more gaunt and unhealthily thin as time went by.

ROBOT: Smooth, almost featureless masklike face with a long row of teeny tiny cameras like a visor strip where her eyes would go. Speakerbox for a mouth. Surprisingly has many fine, long copper wires curling gently on her head rather akin to hair.2) Seems to have had her abnormally thin frame from being a zombie transferred over to this form, for Sage's structure is bird thin. http://improbablesage.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d4rxze1

MUTANT: Body is hunched and bowed over from the sheer weight of her leathery wings. Each one is at least three times the size of her body. Oversized ears shaped like curved ears gives her highly advanced hearing, which is good because she has extremely poor vision as a mutant.3)

JOKER(female): Looks very much like the human sage, though her eyes have the customary green joker glow, and she prefers very dapper, impractical clothing. The infusion of so much improbability has rendered sage literally insane as a joker, which most showed itself in her unhinged grin that stretches over much too much of her face and her seeming lack of speaking sense. Has a deck of cards with her and is always eager to play a game.4) http://improbablesage.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d57tane

JOKER(male): I feel this warrants it's own description, because while again not looking very different from sage in his male human form with the exception of eyes and attire, the female joker sage and the male joker sage are rather different creatures. Sage as a male joker was still quite insane, but he is much more dangerously so. Less inclined to harmless 5) joker mischief and more inclined to the type that causes bodily harm. Despite the perhaps confusing addition of a bustle to his attire6) sage is much more aggressive and arrogant and masculine in this form, and should probably 7) be trod around very carefully. http://improbablesage.deviantart.com/gallery/#/d5del4g


  • Gleam, a living diamond rabbit no bigger than a golf ball.8)
  • Azarel, a shadowhawk residing within her own shadow who will attack and defend her against any other shadows that mean to cause her harm.
  • A living stuffed toy lion that is most appropriately named Plushy.9)10)
  • Yorrick, a talking Lynx who can guide Sage wherever she needs to go. He comes and goes, usually slinking off silently to do his own thing when not needed.11)
  • And as always, her own shadow.12)


Ohmygawd she has so much shit! How does a wanderer collect so much shit?!

  • Sage always has an Improbably endless supply of marshmallows and toast colored blankets, which she freely distributes to any and all who look peckish or in need of a toasty blanket.
  • Her clothes are a granted wish from Alice. They can be a bit mischievous at times13), but Sage can alter them to be and look like anything she desires.
  • A bone ring, which she wears on the middle finger of her right hand. Sage can use the ring to heal people in emergencies.14)15)16)

The following items given to her by Clue:

  • Her rapier and sword belt.
  • A two sided token boon coin, given for her help in defeating an attacking 70 headed hellhound.
  • A ring that's a plain band of blue metal, traded in from an I.O.U. scroll. Worn on the index finger of her left hand, it gives her the ability to change her size at will. It's rather stubborn at the moment though, and likes to play tricks on her.
  • Several cards hidden on her shoulders, whose properties only she and Clue know.17)

The following items given to her by Than:

  • A book named Jarvis, who can speak to Sage via telepathy, and who can look up anything Sage desires. He's also capable of transmitting messages to Sage from her friends.
  • A very special, very old Cloak; made from a pliable deep red material. It has many gold and silver runes and trinkets carefully stitched into the fabric.
  • A breathing mask, whose tanks store enough air for three days time.18)
  • A particular vial and jar, which usually appear to be empty.
  • A solid silver scythe whose name was discovered to be Ginyubi.

Okay, back to the regular list.

  • A green Lion stuffy who happens to resemble the form at the time of one who gave it to her, Cenobite
  • A red ball, and several oversized and dangerously sharp jacks, all part of a weapons set designed after the child's game of Jacks, won in a game from Alice.
  • Two throwing knives from LD.19)
  • Paint! Sage has jars of paint, plus some brushes.
  • A blue feather from Shi.
  • Her memory journal and pen, for when she goes to have tea.
  • A tiny jar of sparkling green potion from Doctor Generic.20)
  • She also has a pouch full of flower petals for throwing at weddings. Odd how it always gets Improbably refilled after every ceremony.
  • A bottle of pills from Quinn, to be distributed in case of the Stranger.
  • A silverygrey glowstick from Toby. It almost perfectly matches the color of Sage's fur as a kittymorph.
  • A sketchpad and pencil, found for her by Ronald's Captain, (Or is it Major now?) at his behest.
  • Two emerald gems, hiccupped out of The Wyvern and given to Sage.21)
  • A small vial of fire salts from Hearts.
  • A highly sparkly earcuff that covers almost the entire length of her right ear. Appears to be silver or white gold, and was a wish from Alice.22)23)
  • A metal feather given to her by Poe, a living raven made out of metal.
  • A specialized first aid kit given to her by Kell after a certain incident with a stranger.
  • A card of the Queen of Clubs from Quinn.
  • A blue present, also given to her by Quinn. It is a Christma- err, holiday present, and sage still hasn't opened it yet!

More info!

Gifted to her by Roland, with whom she shares a unique sort of relationship, sage has a shield that is a dark magic spell. Her shield caused her a lot of grief and she was completely unable to control it for a long time, but after months of training with Roland and everyone who didn't mind the possibility of getting tossed on their asses, sage now has full mastery over her shield.

Sage had thus far attended the following weddings of her friends:

  • Flaze's and Trex's24)
  • Mad Coil's and Eri's25)
  • Twigs' and Theodosia's (She got to be the Maid of Honor for this one :D)
  • Alice's and Martin Swede's(She found their lost wedding ring before the ceremony :3)26)27)
  • LittleD's and Hearts' (Once again the Maid of Honor) 28)
  • Gaia's and Teague's
  • Clayton's and Qaptain's (Maid of Honor baby, woot!)

When, for whatever reason Sage becomes male his body is taller, stronger, and more angular instead of curvy. As a male human, Sage is about 6'3.He has also found that his facial hair grew much too fast for his liking.

As a male kittymorph, He stands closer to 6'5 or 6'7, and is the most robust form of Sage's yet.29) He can also roar in this form :3

Teatime Shenanigans -_o,

Sage was a human to begin with when she landed on the Island.

After her first teatime with Horatio, she became a kittymorph. Her second teatime saw her in the same form.

After a breakup, her third teatime saw her back as a human. She stayed this way for a while, but was briefly a man!

Fourth time around and she's back to a kittymorph again.

Sage actually happened to be male at the time he went to have tea #5, and Horatio decided to have the gender stick through the DK. He also turned Sage into a midgetmorph.

Sixth teatime saw Sage as a zombie, where she wrestled greatly with her extreme hunger for BRAAAINNS! She starved herself as much as she could, and was so hungry her seventh teatime.

Perhaps that's why Horatio made her into a robot, who wouldn't feel that maddening hunger. (or perhaps it was because she did her best to steal a part of the drive to make up for something she did while a zombie. Perhaps Horatio thought she wanted that much to be like him.)

When she went to have tea for the eighth time, Horatio fixed some compatibility/admin errors sage was having between herself and her artificial Main Line.30)31)32)

Sage's ninth teatime saw her as a hunched, deformed mutant that vaguely resembled an oversized bat. People kept trying to fix her.

She spent a good long while being distracted from having her tenth teatime, so when it finally happened, Horatio made her human again, but saw to it that he was a man this time.

Her eleventh teatime brought her back to her very first, original, natural female human form.

The big twelfth teatime finally occurred for sage, which was the right amount of times having tea with Horatio for her to get the last blast of improbability needed to set her off the edge to becoming a joker, and incidentally discovering her deck of cards.

Sage remained a female joker through her 13th teatime. Her 14th teatime Horatio saw to it that she had a gender change, and so sage spent it as a male joker.

By the 15th teatime sage went back to being a regular female human. Well, at least it seemed much more regular and normal than jokersage, to be sure.

16th teatime has sage back to her fluffy female kittymorph self!

17th teatime brought out about another round of sage as an ornery male midgetmorph.

18th had sage back as a human, however briefly.

The 19th and 20th teatime had sage as a joker.

The 21st teatime definitely had sage back to her soft, fluffy kittymorph form after that.

The 22nd through the 27th teatime sage spent as a human.

The 28th time she's changing it up and being her kittymorph self once again!

1) Really, can't emphasize this enough. Bad things will happen
2) She used them for fine, delicate work as they were prehensile and extendable, but not very strong
3) This all before people started poking their jokery noses into things
4) Player should definitely beware
5) according to whom?
6) he is raving mad after all
7) see definitely
8) Crafted for her by Cenobite
9) She didn't want to keep him at first, but he followed her all the way through the jungle by himself from Kitt to NewHome so then she pretty much had to in the face of such bravery and determination
10) He is made of felt and has button eyes.
11) NOTE: A recent accompaniment is Veera, a small dragonling guardian trainee. Yorrick is the one doing the tutoring
12) She wuvs him and he wuvs her
13) They get fondle-y
14) Not without any drawbacks, it temporarily drains her of color.
16) Sage found the ring in a hidden room in an underground jungle
17) And it'll stay that way
18) He had to twist her arm to get her to take it, not literally of course
19) NOTE: Down to one now, the other was lost in an avalanche
20) I miss that guy. He had a great mix of eccentricity, sanity, and insanity. Best of all was his passion for science! Come back Doc!
21) To be worn in one's belly button
22) There's a lot more to this earcuff
23) NOTE: Now has a dangly charm shaped like a nautilus star hanging from it
24) Aw
25) Apparantly also Aw?
26) And still hasn't gotten her prize for that
27) Maybe that's for the best because Aw
28) Aw. Again Aw? What the heck?!
29) Though he's technically a lot more robust in his midgetmorph form. It's just a more stout sort of robust
30) The program that ran her roboty functions for her
31) It was for the best really
32) Horatio also cleared out all that glitter that had been stuck in her casing that had been messing with her voice output
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sage_wanderer.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)