Secrets is a hitherto unknown character on Improbable Island. This mysterious stranger can be found in the IBHML guild.

Secrets has been known to offer the following bits of profound wisdom to newbies and veterans alike.

• Never pick up a duck in a dungeon.
• Khhaaaaaaaannnnn!!
• .. whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the joyous chaos of the Improbability Drive .. or by opposing the Watcher, to die; to cheat .. no more.