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1. noun.

The stocks were a wondrous device which imprisoned one contestant1) at a time so that artists could make money doing caricatures of them, and small children could climb onto their backs.2)

The stocks were once claimed by Rosin, but the most recent conflict, involving a stubborn brick wall fighting other stubborn brick walls,3) led to it being an open democracy.4)5)

The stocks were often not where expected,6) having been in such locales as the top of the pub, a shack in Kittania, animated as they galloped through SquatHole, and turned into an animate rubber duck that showed up a few weeks before the stocks were transformed, thanks to a collusion by Snickerer and Kassil.

Staying in the stocks increased your charm by one point for every real hour you spend in them, explaining why various contestants fought so much over something so humiliating.

Years after being removed, the stocks were replaced by Stox, a bizarre, wriggling purple lump that wraps around contestants' necks and causes them to stumble around in circles, sweat, drool, and generally make fools of themselves. Stox lives in NewHome.

2. noun. Supply. As in "The stocks ran out, and now they are gone."

1) Most likely a Newbie
2) The artists, presumably.
3) with cat ears!
4) Whatever the Hell that meant
5) It meant being forced to endure every newbie who wandered through Improbable Central claiming it as theirs.
6) And, indeed, to this day, they still aren't, by the virtue of not being anywhere
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stocks.txt · Last modified: 2017/08/01 18:00 by Full Metal Lion