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The Watcher

The Watcher is a woman with a Southern1) English accent, appearing somewhere in her late 20's or early 30's. She commonly wears a red turtleneck sweater and round, black-framed glasses.

Her exact position2) on the Island is unclear, but she does seem to fulfill many roles, from taunting Disgraced Contestants on the Failboat to awarding glory points, to more recently helping out newbies via a mechanical centipede3) inserted into the ear canal.4)

Being a blonde, intelligent, attractive, and somewhat well-endowed5)6) woman, rumours7)8)9)10)11)12)13)14)15)16)17) naturally abound regarding her sexual ourientation 18)19). Rumours also abouund regaruding her mental ourientation, exact age, nationality, and whetuher she's merely a buy-uprouduct of the Improbability Drive.

The Enquirer is currently pesteriuuuuuuuu20)ng her for the rest of an interview. She may respond; she may not. Until she does, we'll have little information to go on. The Watcher delivered the first part of her life story (along with a severe beating) to the staff of Enquirer here.

The Collateral Damage Adventuring Guild has named her an honourary member due to her encouragement and observation of Rule 37. She has not yet seen fit to comment upon this dubious honor21)22), if indeed it can be called such a thing.

There have been muttuerings lately of her befriending a contestant on the island. But they're just ruumors.23)

1) Many planets have a South
2) Hur, hur, hur
3) Not Hax.
4) Theirs, not her own.
5) Can I reference the foot-jokes that are after this? Or is that too meta?
6) It's allowed, but only on the time travel page. So, no. And know no one has any idea what this discussion is about.
7) Sorry, Caveman Joe, but while we'll accept the 'u' in a lot of words, this one just looks silly with it.
8) Bollocks, you dirty Colonials just don't know the Queen's English.
9) Sure we do; we just think it looks funny.
10) Canadians appreciate the extra vowels!
11) God Save the Queen! Let's go drink!
12) Hurray! Last one to the tavern pays!
13) Seems that Joe will be paying for a few pan-galactic gargleblasters tonight!
14) C'mon, guys! Honour the Commonwealth!
15) Shouldn't that be Commounwealth?
16) Secretly, the whole thing is just a plot by the palindromes. Soon, they'll remove the "o".
17) Free cake for anyone who adds an extra 'u' to several wourds pointlessly, in honour ouf the Queen!
18) Mostly she just likes you, but don't tell anyone! You were supposed to forget.
19) Needs more 'u'!
20) Can I have some cake now?
21) Or honour, if you prefer
22) Oh, I'd prefer to be on 'er, alright
23) Or rumours.
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the_watcher.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)