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Trains are no longer around. This page is kept solely for archival purposes.


The pinnacle of comfort and style in Island transportation, these marvels of engineering are brought to you by the Improbable Island Railway Company, a massive conglomerate which is rumored to have bought out every independent playing card producer on the Island.1) The Company is run by a mysterious Robber Baron, who keeps his friends close and his smudged, batterd old playing cards closer.2)

Trains make regular stops in every outpost, but the conductor is known to be susceptible to bribes on occasion by Very Special Passengers.3)

Rumors4)5)6)7) also report that the Central Bank of Improbable Island has begun using the railway system to move large sums of requisition between outposts. Contestants are advised that such transactions are always well-guarded, and the punishment for convicted train robbers is harsh.

1) With so many Jokers around, this would be a considerably profitable venture.
2) Speculation abounds that this Baron may in fact be a certain Count.
3) Who may or may not be holders of a fabled First Class Ticket
4) What is this, a muckraking tabloid?
5) No, it's the Enquirer
6) Same thing.
7) We have, by the latest count, received seven-hundred and eighty-one complaints from other muckraking tabloids, each stating they would like not to be associated with the likes of the Enquirer, thankyouverymuch!
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train.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:35 (external edit)