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Tyler Durham is the name of a peculiar purple aubergine.

  • Often found in the company of a squash who likes to call him Goldilocks, a sheep, and a carpenter.
  • Sometimes explosive, though even-tempered.
  • Easily won over by marshmallows and hot beverages.
  • Likes to sleep in other people's chairs.
  • Known to photosynthesize to a deep red when faced with a tiger or a storm, and more recently when in the company of the aforementioned carpenter1).
  • Previously spent time beneath a straw hat. Now spends time (unfortunately rotting) beneath a metal pail.
  • Has been upgraded from pail to striped bucket hat, and is thankfully no longer in need of a sewing kit for his own limbs. This aubergine is fuzzy! It must be moldy.
  • Is also HYPERACTIVE when under the influence of ANYTHING EXCITING or SUGAR. For love of Pratchett, keep him away from the cocoa booth!
  • Is having an existential crisis. You ask so many questions, what answers should I choose? Is it schizoid paranoia or just existential blues?
  • Has recently been seen in the company of a dubious fruit who causes him to photosynthesize regularly, as well as stammer and generally make an ass of himself. The status of their relationship is unclear, even to those involved.
  • There is a dubious fruit update. The aubergine and the dubious fruit have become the single most awkward couple in the history of the Island. Stay tuned for more updates.
  • The aubergine has been fuzzy, awkward, an angry short bastard, fuzzy again, eternally awkward, strangely squiddy, female, an angry short female, fuzzy, and missing in action since our last report.
  • Is no longer seen in the presence of the dubious fruit. They appear to have parted on generally amiable terms.
  • Has rarely been seen for quite some time. Perhaps he is in hibernation?
1) May I suggest dressing up as a walrus so that the walrus-aubergine and the carpenter will be obliged to walk hand in hand?
 
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tyler_durham.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)