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Before the Island

Before Zelkova came to the island he was a lazy, good-for-nothing geek who lived in his mother's attic (she's a florist if you can't tell from the bloody name she gave him). He'd occasionally do odd jobs for money, but mostly just played games, roleplayed, and played trading card games. Clearly he was not cut out for any type of war (against the improbable or not) but perhaps the improbability of him being able to ever survive is the very thing that will lead to his success. 1)

On the Island

Zelkova went through a drastic change after being plopped onto the island. Even his appearance, which was once below average, has taken a turn for the better. He no longer scares away women with an acne-ridden and bi-speckled face at least. 2)

Originally, he would be terrified of the peculiar creatures and contestants on the island however, it would now seem that they don't bother him in the least. What he once would have considered monsterish-rpg women he now often finds attractive 3) (except when they are horrifically deformed and disturbing, then he typically curls into the fetal position and cries himself to sleep). Getting used to such creatures and having such thoughts of them often causes him to believe he's going mad. It's much more likely however, that merely after bashing in the skulls of 50 or so small children and combating his shadow on a near daily basis, that it is simply adaptation. In a mad world, one must adapt to survive. Is he mad? or is it


He was turned into a Robin Hood toy for a time and found himself unable to speak (other than pre-recorded Robin Hood quotes). He enjoyed every minute of it.5)

He also obtained an accordion from Trilan, though he will have to learn to play it.


Zelkova still seeks the drive but it's now more of a case that he wishes to use the powerful burst of improbability to change himself into something much more powerful as he's grown bored of being human. 6)7)8)9)10)


Zelkova, after a long search, finally managed to destroy the Drive; however, as he delivered the final blow he caused a mass explosion of improbability, completely altering our poor Zelkova. Zelkova, much to his dismay, is now a zombie. While he isn't rotting as horribly as some and his mannerisms are fine, words that end in -ains still seem to pose trouble. As if the fact that he became a zombie wasn't bad enough he eventually began to regain memories of his true past. Not only does he have to live as a rotten corpse, but he has to remember that he was once alive, well, and didn't look too bad. He shall probably never know how that felt again. He occasionally wears glasses11), possibly to try and hold onto a piece of his humanity.12) Now, he wants only to seek out the drive once more and have it fix him... even if he has to bash it to pieces.


It took a while, but our young rotting hero managed to find the improbability drive yet again. This time, he would force it to fix what it did to him... even if by brute force. After a long, exhausting battle the drive finally ceased movement. It laid broken and strewn about the abandoned lab. However, just like last time, it began to rebuild itself. Zel knew that this was his chance. He raised his foot high and brought it crashing down onto the inner workings of the drive. He later awoke in the hospital bed yet again; he had miraculously survived not once, but twice now. It didn't take him long to notice the tail. It looks like Zelkova isn't through quite yet.

UPDATES!!!! Zelkova went missing for roughly a year, upon his sudden reappearance he seemed human again. How or why this happened is unknown as he doesn't even recall having ever been on the island before. It's as though he is a rookie all over again. Sadly, he has forgotten everyone and everything he has met... let's hope things get better for him.

Zel's Zombie Appearance


Interesting Tidbits!

  • Zelkova's eyes are actually purple. He's pretty sure they didn't use to be this color.
  • He used to be legally blind. However, his vision is now perfectly fine.
  • When incredibly shocked or embarassed, his mind quite literally shuts down. All movements cease as though he were some sort of automaton. 13)
  • Zelkova can often be found lying face-down in the middle of a town, exhausted.14)15)

Here you can say whatever you want about this dull character!

  • Insert random insults here16)
1) or maybe it'll just get him killed.
2) When we say acne-ridden, we REALLY mean it.
3) oh, it's true. He could probably even find a zombie attractive as long as she hadn't decayed too much.
4) We think it's more likely that he's just lost it
5) Changed by a certain CentipedeMorph, haha
6) Five bucks says he gets killed! Anyone in?
7) I am. Raise you double.
8) I'll see your double, and raise ya triple.
9) If "killed" equals "zombified", I'm definitely in.
10) I'll see that bet and raise you a treacle tart!
11) which don't really help his vision
12) Well, all folks who said he would die have won the bet; technically. Hehe
13) It's great fun to try and make his blow his fuse at random times and setting him up somewhere completely different before he wakes up!
14) Maybe this section would get some more things if the author could actually THINK of something interesting about this guy.
15) Let us hope this fool of an author can actually add on to this eh? Actually, let's hope that he can add something INTERESTING on to this. That would be much better!
16) I haven't met him yet. I look forward to out-dulling!
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zelkova.txt · Last modified: 2017/05/28 03:34 (external edit)