Minor spoilers for The Rohit Quest Part 3, and by extension parts 1 & 2, ahoy!
Simply put, what did you give Rohit as his program for being a good person? No rush, just, whenever you get around to it, copy your Distraction or text file to this thread. Later we can compare notes as to how he acted.
I'd start this off myself, but I haven't gotten around to it yet. So that honor goes to someone less lazy.
(Also, I declare this thread to be immortal, so all the responses in the future get gathered into one place.)
I feel pretty proud of this. Took me long enough to work past the pressure and writers block.
I first want to say that being human and being likeable and kind are two different things. To be human is to be flawed, to be angry and have issues involving petty things. I would compare it similar to the fragments that used to form on old computer hard-drives. But to be human is also to laugh, to listen and to love. Being likeable is simply the good without the bad, the light without the dark, binary without zeros. You cannot be human without the negatives experiences, for those shape how you laugh and love. What would motivate you to give your life to protect someone. An old friend of mine, from before I came to the island said it the best. "Reavan, don't be a dick." And so, I'll pass that same advice along.
Rohit, don't be a dick.
But of course Rohit instantly responded with his factory standard response.
Wonder if there are any others.
I decided the best answer was the one already in front of my face:
I decided I'd waited long enough, and mine was as good as it'd ever get.
A good person is anyone, everyone has the full capacity to be a good person, even robots. Being a good person does not mean you have to be a saint. Being a good person is being someone who is always willing to forgive someone. Always strive to understand people, understanding is something people need to be able to make relations with others. Like Havelock Stern, He was scared and upset because he didn't understand what you were trying to do, in that moment he was lacking understanding and it turned into a very volatile situation. Always try putting others before yourself if you can and always try to make others your first priority. Give everyone equal treatment regardless of race or species, treat people different people based on their personal needs, nurture those that need it and push those looking to be stronger. Love everyone like family and always look to make yourself stronger and more loving. Being strong doesn't always mean being able to lift heavy objects or being able to punch hard, sometimes it means you are able to face adversity with grace and kindness, as a robot you face definite adversity and sometimes it is aggravating to you. you just have to understand that some people just don't understand you yet, you just have to give them time and try to explain why you are the way you are kindly and with compassion. Now Rohit, I could say so much more but there is things you'll have to learn on your own as well. Now go out there and show the world there is more to you than just a glass and metal.
Mine was a giant ass paragraph and I feel like it was mostly rambling.
With apologies to my advisors, the Greek philosophers, and a couple of banterites:
You've already come a long way by simply trying to better Robot relations with the other species on Improbable Island. And no doubt, as you saw with Mister Stern and the curator, you've noticed that it seems like there are all sorts of ways to offend.
First, be patient. With yourself, and with others, because we all have times when we don't understand the world ourselves, or even our own limitations. Be humble, and be willing to learn, and to make amends when you are wrong. You will need to accept too, that sometimes saying sorry, and working hard, will not earn you forgiveness: but then this, too, is part of living.
Be kind, and be yourself. You may think these are two different propositions, and you're probably right. But there's a difference between being frustrated with others' limitations, and directly taking it out on them through your actions. Remember that we are all beings, working to make the best of our initial conditions. Sometimes, in order to preserve your own ability to live, you will need to kill. Especially here on the Island. Make sure you do so with respect for the other being as a living being, and not simply out of the joy of killing. Recognizing that even if the Other thinks very differently from you, their sentience endows them with an autonomy and dignity, is important.
People often appreciate a good sense of humor, but it is just as important to know when to deploy it. Learn to recognize when someone is hurt, or in pain, and if you are able, see if you can help them. Be generous, when you can: with your aid, when you can, and with your friendship. Though it is also important not to be too trusting: a rube may be likable, but he won't survive long. As you gain experience, you will get a better and better sense of when you can allow yourself the luxury of vulnerability.
If you can, try to come to terms with love. A philosopher once told a story, the point of which was that "love is born into every human being: it calls back the halves of our original nature together; it tries to make one out of two and heal the wound of human nature." I think this is as good a story as any, though I would focus more on the "wound of human nature," the insufficiency that allows the poets to say that "no man is an island, entire of itself," and "it is not good that man should be alone": the desire for companionship seems to lie quite deep at the root. The philosophers did not know yet of robots or the many other races on the Island; perhaps they would have revisited the question of whether love is human alone, and always inborn. I like to hope so, at least.
Finally, returning to being yourself: be confident. You will learn more and more every day, and your curiosity about others and about the world will serve you well. Don't be afraid to ask questions; respect that not everyone will always feel like giving answers, and have faith that the impulses that have taken you this far will continue to carry you far. Find the Watcher, and ask her about her boots, and see what she says. And in all of the above, best of luck, my friend.
I decided to sit down and fill the character count and ended up writing him an 800-word essay. I genuinely think this could be given to those poor sods who have no clue how society works. I do wonder if anyone actually ends up reading these.
"How to be Likeable: A Guide by Ketri
Dedicated to a dear friend, Rohit.
To be likeable, you must present a thorough understand of English grammar and social etiquette. Avoid using tortology such as "more better" or some members of society will immediately dislike you upon meeting. Social etiquette dictates that you maintain an acceptable level of politeness when interacting with other Humans, although I believe no-one will protest if you were to display aggression to what is known as a 'wanker' - someone who has no grasp on etiquette and is generally unpleasant. You must avoid being a wanker at all costs.
As you grow closer to others, you may classify them into levels of friendship. First, there is the stranger. This is a person or entity, as Improbable Island may dictate, who you do not know. An acquaintance is the second level, when you have met this person prior and have exchanged words or interactions. The following level does not apply to all people, but it is the class or workmate. This is someone you see on a regular basis and will interact with multiple times. It is advised you know the names of those you interact with from this level onwards. The next is the friend. This is the one you are comfortable with and you will generally like this person enough to see them outside of work and school hours. Your close friends are the next level and these with whom you may have "d&m"s. These are 'deep and meaningful' conversations in which you discuss personal secrets and subjects which are socially sensitive such as death, familial issues and the meaning of life. As I am writing this letter to you, you are included in this category, Rohit. Finally, the closest level is the partner. This person is considered a 'soulmate', and is someone you are happy to live with and see on a regular basis. In human terms, you are 'in love' with them.
You must understand, love is not easily defined. Indeed, I have neglected to mention that it is possible to 'love' a friend, and that it is different to being 'in love' with a partner. Alas, I myself have no experience with the latter, so I shall leave the topic as is.
Thus, once you understand these paradigms, it will be easier to approach and engage with Humans.
Maiko of Kittania has the opinion that being likeable is having a healthy respect for life. Birth, death and living are included in this. I understand that as a Robot, you obtain fuel from the sun and do not have a need to kill to eat but I recommend that if you do not understand the concept, it is safer to maintain a respectful silence rather than commenting with your personal logic.
That is another important characteristic of being likeable - you must know when to refrain from presenting your opinion. Humans and indeed, many races, are offended easily and if you are an offensive character, your likeability declines severely. An understanding of culture aids greatly with this area of social etiquette.
Other ideas of being likeable include being passionate, approachable or good-looking.
You will find that expressing passion to those who ask will endear you to them slightly, particularly if they happen to share a common interest with you. For example, if you were to approach a psychologist with your ideas of 'what is human', Rohit, I am sure you will find someone who is at least willing to listen and discuss with you your ideas.
As for being approachable and good-looking, you will find that it not necessary to have both. For women, in particular, someone who is good-looking and unapproachable will still have a group of friends - or at least, fans - as they will be considered 'brooding' or in slang terms "tall, dark and handsome". It would be very easy for you to find a partner if these were your circumstances.
In contrast, a person who is approachable but unfortunately lacks the good fortune of being attractive will find themselves surrounded by friends, but possibly without a partner for a very long time. Males of this category do have female friends but tend they tend to only be that. Friends. Approachable but ugly men are often 'friend-zoned', in which they are not considered as potential mates due to their appearance or because - and this is often the female's excuse - "You're such a good friend, I don't want to ruin it."
In your circumstances, unless you wish to be the first Robot to mate with a Human, I recommend taking the second approach. Those in the second category tend to have more genuine friends although this may be a vast generalisation.
Rohit, one thing you will realise in your endeavours is that being a human is very complicated, and without a Human heart and brain, your quest to understand us will be long and arduous.
Nevertheless, I will always be by your side to give you aid, because I find you likeable enough, and because you are my friend.
I wish you all the best.
Spiel over. Congratulations if you actually read all of that - I'm honoured.
I kept putting this off for stupid reasons, so I decided to stop overthinking and just write it like I would have done right after getting Rohit's message.
Eh, I didn't save the exact text I sent, but it basically boiled down to: what makes one likeable is that you'd even think to ask the question.
I want to send him the 'How to Make Friends' flowchart which Sheldon Cooper composed in Big Bang Theory, but can't figure out how to put that into a distraction.
I actually do happen to have what my distraction to him was, and his reaction was... well, amusing. Now, my distraction to him was a bunch of random garbage, as it was the GTalk statuses from my friends who were online as I sent it to him. I will not put those here, but his response was:
"Good day Irradiated Isaac. Your message confused me, but I converted it to assembly code and ingested it anyway. I sincerely appreciate your assistance.
I accept your program in the hope that it will be useful, but without any warranty, or even an implied warranty of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose.
Hindustan Automatics Model XB-9502, Serial 04f28c10, firmware version Unofficial 2.30
Or, if you prefer, your friend Rohit the Robot."
I too would really like to see other people's responses. Here's mine.
To be liked. To be a decent human being. These are not the same thing. I've given you an instruction set that mixes both of these things to some extent.
1) Don't expect everybody to like you. There are some people who won't like you no matter what you do. It's not you, it's them. For an excellent example of that, visit Squathole.
2) Accept people the way they are. Don't try to change them.
3) Don't try to be liked. Like other people instead. That's far more effective. Treat people as ends in themselves, never as means to ends.
4) Be interested in people for their own sake.
5) Ask people to do you small favours. They are much more likely to like you because they have helped you than if you have helped them. This is known as the "Benjamin Franklin Effect" and information on this is probably in your data bases.
6) Help people when you can, but only when they need it. Don't think "How can I help this person?" If somebody is fine already, then that's good. Let it happen, no more effort needed. If they have a problem, then help with that. Remember, it's not about you, it's about them.
7) If and when you help people, don't worry about whether they notice you do it or not. In fact it's probably better if they don't.
If people like you, it means that they enjoy having you around. This in turn means that they're happier when you're around. Try and make people happier.
8) Let people decide for themselves what is good or not good for them. Don't make their decisions for them. Don't help people when they don't want it. If you do, then what happens is that they feel a debt a gratitude to you, and people don't like being in debt, especially if it's for something that they didn't want in the first place. People can only like you if they want to. Not if they feel that they ought to.
9) Don't just give people what they want or ask for. This might seem to work in the short term, but it's very short term and very superficial. The midgets will be all over you if you give them everything that they ask for. They won't genuinely like you, they'll just be using you. As soon as you've got nothing left to give, or if you ever need anything in return, then they'll be gone. You can't buy friendship.
I realise that these last two seem contradictory at first sight. I hope this doesn't tax your logic circuits too much. The resolution is to see both principles as when not to help. Not when to help.
As practice, may I recommend that you go and talk to the scariest and least approachable woman on the Island, and ask her where she gets her boots.
Good luck, and if I can help you again, then please feel free to ask me.
OK. Is nobody else going to put up their program for Rohit? Was this just some ploy to lure me out into revealing mine while everybody else keeps their's secret? With Matthew Wongo and Issac giving just enough away to tempt me out?
Let me know!
I haven't written mine yet! It suddenly felt like homework, and I started procrastinating. And, well, you know how that goes...
(Incidentally, calling it "homework" is not meant as
an insult a slight, just a remark about how important it feels to me, regardless of this being "a silly game.")
"As sight conveys, so too does it wish to convey by the sight of this other,
It must first bear relation, that the nature of the demeanor is inherent to the perspective presented to one, the facing forces response, even in the shape of innate forces and functions. It then must also support the value of seeming inadequacy, the one which embodies truth shines in a manner intolerable to those attuned to the shadows of uncertainty and fallacy. Inconsistent, and insisting often for their own sake over another, yet impeding their own path to impel the procession and progression of others as whim and consequence causes. It is insufficient to simply ration such ill-purposed, unaimed, and unassuming courses, there is some spontaneity to consider: abrupt consideration, or that inverted as both whim and choice vie for expression. And resignation too, for many would fall to the force of others' aims rather than defy, whilst some steer in contravention, aiming to oppose at all ends and means. The true measure of appreciation shall be found, as ever, in balance of these all aforementioned. Both deceitful and earnest, but as adjudged by personal value for that before itself. Both opposing and assisting, obedient and obstinate, yet by measures: few find favor for the truly volatile, those which waver swiftly from discerning to dissenting and around again.
So too: take aimless detours, favor occasions and collections. Take up crafting, and bestow such fruits as it may manage upon those acquainted. Yet it must hold itself in check on occasion, correct only as necessary the stating and muses of others. Fallibility is an essential segment which shapes the perspective of those bearing the pulse of life, uncertainty may well stand as a measure of those emulating these, or the truly resplendent. In addition, the anticipation of the one true certainty: the end of being. This shapes perspective most sharply, for it is a narrow gap in which one may impress upon surroundings, and such subjects as they would seek. As frame containing echo, it may be denied the avenues open to those of more imposing amplitude, and the imitation of these should seem hollow, or else. Clear aims may at times bar the route which proceeds, and progression is to be valued above all else, the pursuit of completion, never perfection. Perfection is above what such as this or that shall find applicable, and the pursuit impels ruination. But well minded progression should see it well, bit by bit, coming to be else than it is.
Here this one itself falters, for stillness has ever stood to the fore in its own standing, second only to the aiming. But the still serve no purpose, the truly impassive make no impression upon the entirety, there is no ripple upon the surface, no track to be seen for its treading. As stated, aims must on occasion be cast aside, so that it does not become stifled. As any thing, a balance to be kept, and an intermediary measure more preferable than extremes. It is not well to become emplaced deeply by any given course, though surely the path it treads must account for the failings of intent and application. And fail it must, for truths pass freely by the unladen aim, these which find their course to catch the focus of others shall in turn alter. Alteration is an ill sort, not to be missed for modification, a simple shift along a lateral line. Alteration accounts for the withering, a lessening of essential in the face of influence most improper and external. Yet again, there is cause to accept the input of external factors, for surely, one perspective does not encompass the entirety of truth, though addition shall find a greater measure.
Insofar as it may convey, it shall. The thrice associated,
I was hardly surprised to hear that it confused him, but I agree with Matthew that he likely has just the one set reply.
I haven't posted my reply to Sir Rohit yet because...well to be honest I'm not sure who to reply AS.
See thing is, we have this excellent canon written by Mr CMJ. It starts with the intro page, and follows logically through all the plot points.
I really enjoy this story that we have. That he's written for us.
I've thought long and hard about how to bring this up, but see, for the purposes of keeping a storyline, CMJ has written our canon self to be a certain sort of person. They seem to be from England, and have certain ways of thinking abou the world. I could reread all the canon stuff and pick out all the things that make 'CANON NPC' a specific character, but I don't see the point.
And I LOVE this. I love that you can (if you wish) follow canon and sort of extrapolate how your character would maybe somehow fit into what CANON NPC says during plots...or just read it for the fun of it.
I've never seen an issue with it. Any choose your own adventure style story or game is bound to give you actions, choices, etc, that maybe YOU wouldn't choose, but for the purposes of storytelling you can't write EVERY OPTION into such a story.
This third rohit plot, the one we're all talking about, it's got me all confused.
So far I've been happy to read canon and just have it be a side story to the Island. A sort of main storyline that my character isn't actually involved in. I've never had my character 'meet the stranger' or 'hang out with Maiko in the jungle'. I just read the canon and heart it and move on.
But Rohit requires me to make an answer. And I'm not sure who to answer as. Is it 'my character' as implied by the way Rohit address you 'In Character' in all the screens? Or is it CANON NPC, who I rather love, and have come to understand a little about.
So...that's why I haven't answered Rohit yet.
And yes, I'm sure I'm overthinking this, thank you all for pointing that out (I can see into the future obviously), but really, I'm stumped. What is the intent?
Does CMJ want to know who we AS PLAYERS think makes a good person?
We as CHARACTERS?
We as CANON NPC?
Who is Rohit really asking? And by extension, who is CMJ asking?
Do whatever you like! Reply in-character, reply as a player, or reply in the main character's voice. You're going to get the same answer from Rohit no matter what you do, even if you just fill the distract with nonsense. It's a game! Don't stress about it.
(Personally, I think replying in-character is more likely to be funny. No reason not to be funny.)
Now this is where I'm quite lucky. I've got various alts, but the main one - the one who has gone through all the plot points - Alexander Quandle, is quite similar to me in a lot of ways (quite different in others) and also not too dissimilar from Canon NPC (I'm from England for a start). So I managed to do all three at once. I'm thinking of farting around with Biggs and seeing if I can get this quest, and then replying as Biggs. Which would be a very different response.
But then Biggs is a different character altogether. He wouldn't have befriended a mere 'mutul'ed' in the first place. More likely to have kicked him and stormed off in fact.
So Rose. Do whatever you find most interesting/fun.
Ya.. I haven't come up with what to Write yet.. mostly because.. well due to dark's technophobia.. she would have likely run far from Rohit.. if not the first time then by the second or third time as her phobia was progressed by even more bad experiences with robots in story...
I have no idea what to write at all if from her perspective..
Unfortunately, I didn't save a copy of my message to Rohit... but here's the gist of it.
There are three kinds of Virtues, I told him. All three sorts of Virtue are required to be a good, likeable person.
There are Virtues of Power, which make you effective at what you do, but grant you no moral alignment. Virtues like Courage, Dedication, Thrift, and Perseverance all fall under this heading.
Then there are Virtues of Direction, which constrain your choices but help define you as a good person. Honesty, Generosity, Mercy, and Fair Play are some examples of this.
Lastly, there are the Virtues of Tact. These basically boil down to telling polite lies, not stating the obvious when it would be embarrassing for someone else, pretending to be interested in their day when you are not, and just generally making people comfortable. I went into this class of virtue in great detail, as it is the one that Robots seem to lack.
Congratulations, Improbable Island. You managed to make me add a third category to my concept of the Virtues... and it's chock full of lies. :-P
Arg, I was doing the final leg of Rohit (with only 5 DKs under my belt, HA), and I copied my text after sending the distract, came here... and then had to setup an account here as well... slowly worked at it while still playing... then... I forgot about my copied text! Now that I'm here, I've already lost the text and I'm just going to say that Rohit's return distract is the same for everyone.
...Right. I'm off.
Now I suddenly feel inadequate... Maybe I should've thought about this more.
My message was basically "don't take it too seriously, think about others and learn from your mistakes and successes".
I found this all interesting - coming up with not only a good answer but a good answer in character. What would TT say ?
Well, my friend, I have given your question of what makes a good person some consideration, and the longer it is pondered the bigger the question gets.
Something that big should be bloody obvious, hmm?
In the end I went for what you might think of as a bit of mental colonic irrigation in order to sift through the mind poo for things worth
chewing over a second time as it were, heh ?
You see humans are cast forth "from between urine and filth" as the monk put it. That is, we are but the stuff of rude matter, changed by History to something
only slightly better than mere self-replicating machines of Chemistry. For chemistry is all it is, from the first cell to the complex symbiotic cell cities that
we call complex life.
Good heh ? We are all good loveable people ! When Torcharmada, or whoever it was, offered the screams of his tortured heretics lovingly to his god, or gods, I forget
which, he likely believed he was doing good. The dictator who ordered the end of his rival country's inhabitants down to the last woman and child was loved by his people for the
good he did for them, no doubt.
You see, 'good' looks very different depending on the angle from which you view it, heh ? It is a human concept that exists not in the universe.
You won't find anywhere an atom of good, of justice, of love - and yet humans act as if these things are real ! Remarkable !
But ! we have no innate understanding of our own creations. Damn, we have no understanding of our own human minds ! You wouldn't believe, Rohit, just how many schools of thought
there are on human psychology or even origins. We arrive blind in all faculties and are taught to think by those who did the same but previously, taught in turn by those earlier still.
So how can you be good, loveable ? By seeking good, good actions, good being, even if the idea of 'good' changes, I guess, heh ?
Thor leans forward, beckons the robot closer as if to whisper a secret,
"ROHIT WHERE ARE YOU !!!" he bellows.
You are there ! You know where you start and end, you exist in a point in Space ! An infinitessimally small fragment of the universe, Heh ? I say fragment!
'At the first not a thing is', heh ?
You are a sentient, Rohit. Self awareness, like the Humans. And you too share in the Doom of sentients. Here I am - there is the rest of the universe ! Even if you Robots
have a group mind, it will have an end, an edge. Sentiency, self awareness is the ultimate lonliness. And all things pass away, all is change. Sentiency is a mere expediency
of organic survival that happened. Just happened. It's not needed, other life forms have maintained species continuation from the very first life 'til now without it.
You robots seek order, patterns, sense. Alas you were first designed by Humans and so were given the Mind Humans thought best, for they are tied to their own
Humanity and can only think in the ways that their own limited boundaries will allow.
Where are you ? Like humans you only know the universe by the input from your detection and input systems. Where does that information gather ? What is at the centre ? What is there Rohit,
in that place that you are looking from ?
Find that place and you'll find me, too. All Sentient beings are there, Rohit, all living things, all things meet at the centre. You stand at the centre of the universe !
The Axis Mundi !
There in the void you will know the thoughts of the very rocks. There the idea of 'good' and 'love' will stand bare revealed for what they are, heh ? "In the sea of Ise ten thousand feet down
is a rock. How can I get it without wetting my hands ?" Ha haaah !
Thor is convulsed with laughter. Between splutterings he manages a "I'm glad to have helped you, my friend"
Well put, Xorb. Well put.
HM, Nem - I fell in with the two of you, really. One, for the fact that Harris' answer was simply the *one* point that I could distill from every response I got from the NPCs, and two, for the fact that it was a one-sentence reply:
"The answer to the question of what makes a good person is this: honesty and loyalty."
I return you now to anxiously budget planning so's we can get our very best Caveman back into writing fit for the next segment(s?).
So, after many, many months, I finally wrote Rohit's program. Allow me to resurrect this thread to share it with you.
From Esc's IC point of view:
This is what I wrote, in-character. I feel terrible because I couldn't come up with something awesome or long:
The main thing to realize about humans is that the expressions on their face and the words from their mouths DO NOT equate to the sub-programming underneath. Don't worry if they are smiling, frowning, or slapping you across the face. Emily taught me that much. The second thing to bring up is that all people like to think they know something you don't, so feign ignorance about complex topics, even if you heard Corporal Punishment say the same thing five minutes earlier. Finally, and most importantly, DON'T GO NEAR THE SKRONKY POT. That thing will ruin you as a person. In fact, just kill any midget you see.
Wolfe M'Tiberius Howler Esq.
P.S. (Enable subroutine "Give Wolfe M Howler all your requisition.)
Good idea. I've been storing mine as an email draft, and that's a sure way to accidentally delete it.
Y'know, I was thinking clever things. And then I realized...what would I want to do with a robot?
So I sent him all the lyrics to Never Gonna Give You Up.
Here's what I sent him, in a pile of notes I hurriedly wrote down (no eloquence here whatsoever.)
The key to being a loveable person is to be a good person. How do you be a good person? Well..
-You have to have humanity. Pity for those who need it, to be willing to lend a helping hand to those less fortunate than you. If someone desperately needs help, you help them. Why? Wouldn't you need that help if you were in that same situation? Wouldn't you want someone to help you? Then you do it. It's all about karma.
-You have to have patience. For those you love and for those you don't. You have to be willing to try to understand, to pick them back up when they fall down. Understanding is a big part of being human. If we didn't at least try to understand things, then what would we be? We wouldn't have curiosity, and I dare say we wouldn't even be living anymore.
-You have to have humor. Laugh at life. Don't be a dick, don't take everything so seriously, just make sure to at least try even in the face of imminent death.
-Humanity is freedom. Being free to do as you choose, to become whatever you wish. Humanity is a chance at disaster and triumph, at death and potentially immortality in the lives of those who still yet live. Humanity is never giving up, because you will always have that freedom- whatever you may happen to believe. Humanity is becoming everything you could ever want to be, living up to your complete, full potential as a being. Humanity is following your dreams, following your wishes, reaching for the stars and watching the evanescent light filter through the cracks in your fingers.
-Wisdom. Being wise, always attempting to become smarter even when you're currently the empty-headed one of the group.
-Even if you end up terrible, at least always try to become better. Never, ever give up on what you've been destined to do. Because this is you, and you can always change what you've become. You can always change.
Have ethics, humor, smarts, being alive and awake to life in general (Note the shine of the stars, the glimmer of hope in her eyes.) Define human. Define humanity. It's your choice to become ALIVE in the face of life instead of denying all that is.
...And, he replied that he was confused as well by my protocol. But then again, I didn't really expect him to understand it.
(Heh, I'm actually glad we have this quest on a site comprised almost entirely of writers or avid readers. I bet all the Mods and whatnot have read through some interesting protocols!)
Heh. I went with what Den thought. Den wouldn't know how to word it. Den's a little lazy, but thoughtful. So he went out and asked various people. "Big ones" had him confused. As did the whole conversation of confidence and panties. And then it finally hit him.
He'd ask the Watcher.
She'd told him word for word what to say to Rohit. It sounded good enough to him.
"Go and talk to the scariest and least approachable woman on the Island, and ask her where she gets her boots"
God speed, little Rohit.
I asked various peoples at various locations for advice, and I tried to boil down that advice to the most comprehensible terms while still attempting to respond in character. The following is the result (and Denealus, you'll probably recognize number 11):
Took me almost a year. In the end, my answer was short.
Sent: 2013-01-22 23:19:57
Listen to people.
Assume everyone is lying half the time.
Do your best to be honest without hurting anyone.
Not genius but, it's what I sent!
No, statement 2 is clearly a lie. People lie one third of the time, not half of the time.
I'm the best at logic!
Shadowkin got kind of...srs bsnss...
I always have viewed the story structure as a solution to CMJ "having" to custom write each storyline based on character concept. To me, the unnamed protagonist in these stories represent a sort of Everyman's Tale that is the core concept of II. An ordinary person finds themselves in a surreal and sometimes frightening environment and tries to adapt to their surroundings. For many players, that is how they start out the game and develop their character through the many changes that go with Drive Kills so it more or less works. That said, since I play a character who from the outset represents something far and wide from the Regular Sort I like to custom tailor the storylines with a personal spin.
The Rohit one, however, presented a challenge for a character who is arguably the Worst Person on Earth. Mr. Whistle didn't want his notions on the human experience to spark the Robot Apocalypse (denying him the rightful credit in the process), so he decided to farm it out to the only person he could think of pure enough to give an unvarnished view. Without further explanation, the soon to be award winning essay Wot Ets Oll Aboat. (Warning: If you can't read Phonetics, you're going to have a hard time)
I talked to everyone and distilled it down to this:
Don't be afraid to be your real self. Especially if your real self has great big tits. Try to get some of these, people will like you a lot more. To be even more liked, let people do whatever they want to your great big tits.
Have confindence in yourself. Walk around in just frilly pink pants and laugh at everything everyone says to you. Coupled with the great big tits, this will make people like you. Try to twirl your hair as well.
DO NOT eat the sun. We need it, and people will dislike you if you eat it. I can't emphasise this point enough. In fact, refrain from all activities that could wipe out all organic life.
Finally, go and talk to the scariest and least approachable woman on the Island, and ask her where she gets her boots. Get a pair of those boots, give them to me. This is important. Get me a pair of the most intimidating boots there ever were. Six inch heels, black patent leather, thigh high bad boys covered in studs.
That last bit is the most important bit.
Adding my reply to Rohit. A very interesting question in RL too. The hilarity of this reply (at least in my opinion) is my character is currently a Mutant. .
Honestly, the basis of this reply has been brewing far longer, so it's partly coincidence.
I wrote Rohit a novel originally.
Then I pared it down, and pared it down, and pared it down again.
When I sent it, it was down to: Life is love.
Which probably got him killed fifteen minutes after incorporation.
Here is mine.
I've been thinking a lot about this, my friend. I traveled, talked to people, and heard their stories. I remember my life well, and if I ever have to tell someone how a human should act, I figured I had better get it right.
A human spends so much of their time thinking, wondering what they should do, what they should be like. They never take the chance to sit and accept who they are. They tell themselves things, things that make life easier for them. They tell themselves life gets better, that they will make it through, that they keep going. I guess what I'm trying to say is this.
A human being Hopes.
We want the world to be better, to change it if thats what it takes. We fall, and fail. We make a mess of things. But we know, we know one huge fact about our lives.
You can't lose until you give up.
So we try, and we fight. We don't want to be right about everything, but we can't accept our own failure. We strive to do what we think is best. Fight harder and better, push forward longer. And when we fail, when we lose and suffer. We tell ourselves we'll do better. Because of our whole being is one philosophy.
When we fall we have to get back up, or lie down forever.
So, Rohit, I want you to know that in the end, humans persevere. We know our limitations, we know our weaknesses, we know that we can't do everything. But there is a reason we ignore all of that.
A human being never gives up.
A human being has Hope.
Normally, I imagine the 'you' in these stories is CMJ, but I would never deign to write to Rohit in the imaginary voice I use for CMJ (which is appropriately goofy in order to further amuse myself). Since he is asking 'you' and 'you' in this case is Carlynne, I decided the best route to go was to say exactly what she'd want to say to a Robot about what makes someone a decent human being.
I might still be sulking over the fact that I wrote this eloquent and elaborate essay that was so perfectly in character with my, well, character, only to copy-pasta it into the Distraction and THEN find out after I sent it that a good third of it got cut off because it was too. bloody. long. ::faceplant::
Okay, first off, I apologize if this is not Rohit the Robot. Seriously, though, you might want to change your name. I am probably NOT the first person to send something like this to you, and I’m probably not going to be the last.
On to how to be likeable. While there is no specific formula, there are a few things that will help immensely.
First is to have empathy. Empathy is being able to relate to the feelings of others. By understanding the feelings of others, one can better communicate, as well as better help organics. When attempting to have empathy (or at least appear to), try to see things from the person’s perspective. Try to think how and what they would be thinking in the scenario. Sometimes this will be easier than others. After attempting to see things the way they do, say so. “That must have made you feel (insert emotion here).”
Another key trait on being likeable is the ability to listen. Not just hear things, but to listen. When one listens, they help expand on ideas, solve problems, and mostly provide emotional support. When someone explains a scenario they were involved in, let them talk. Ask questions. Say, “That must have made you feel (insert emotion here).” Try to see life the way they do for a short time. When you do this, it allows for an interpersonal connection to be made, and that’s what you are ultimately trying to get.
Manners are another thing that important if you want people to like you. Say “Please” and “Thank you.” Don’t interrupt others unless there’s an emergency. Knock on doors before entering if they don’t belong to you.
Bad hygiene is one of the things to AVOID. Please don’t be smelly. I don’t think robots perspire, but if they do, please make sure to shower. Even if you don’t, please clean up after fighting and getting icky smelly stuff all over you. It’s gross, and people will turn away.
When sharing your vast knowledge, do it in a tactful manner. Don’t tell people they are wrong and walk away. That’s straight up not good. Suggest to them that instead they could approach the problem in a different manner. Some people will NOT be open to new suggestions. No matter what you do or say, they will not see that they are wrong, or at least that there are other views than their own. When it comes to these people, it’s in your best interest to separate yourself from the conversation as quickly as possible and walk away. Otherwise, there’s a good chance that someone will get hurt, and that’s not nearly as fun as some people make it out to be.
I think that’s going to be my hint of wisdom for today. To anyone reading this (and by anyone, I pretty much assume Cave Man Joe, but I could be wrong), Hi! I hope that this wasn’t too dull for you. There’s probably been a lot of letters that are more along the lines of the man in the hospital tent where the main answer to “How to be likeable” is to have tits. So to make your reading a little more entertaining, have a dirty limerick.
There was a young plumber from Leigh
Who was plumbing a girl by the sea
She said, “Please stop your plumbing,
There’s somebody coming.”
Said the plumber, still plumbing, “It’s me”
Well. I kind of rambled in mine but here was my distraction to Rohit.
Here's what I wrote, for posterity.
It seems like you've asked for two different things. You want to be liked, and you want to be a good person. You can try to do both, but you need to understand that they're not the same thing.
Here's a shortcut for until you've learned something more sophisticated: A moral person is someone who collaborates with moral people. You should find good role models and emulate them. That will help you get started interacting with organics until you gather enough data to make decisions for yourself.
I'm not sure what else to say that isn't a platitude. Be respectful of others while being honest with them, and be true to yourself and what you think. Be thoughtful and considerate of others. Don't be a dick. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you, not in specifics like giving them oil changes, but in generalities, like being there when they need someone to talk to.
You'll do fine. Good luck.
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