You've heard of Two-Face? That's Two-Beard! Better watch out, Batman!

---

I make the many models of a mutant individual. To make them I use vegetables, animals, and minerals. From robot bugs to zombie bears to many singing barnacles.

And now, sadly beardless and boringfaced, with a side of razor burn just to round things off.


Just like every year, I'm surprised by how small my mouth looks, and how young I seem to be, and how ridiculous my hair looks without a beard to balance it out. But with the annual shearing comes springtime, so it all balances out.

Well now we have all the time in the world to suggest new beards for the fall lineup.

May I suggest something in the God motif? I find it fitting.

---

I make the many models of a mutant individual. To make them I use vegetables, animals, and minerals. From robot bugs to zombie bears to many singing barnacles.

CMJ, I'm not sure you're old enough to play this game.

And here we see a Danhall in its natural habitat. Spring has just arrived, and it appears the shedding has already begun. The once glorious beard, used to intimidate competing males in the winter, has given way to the smooth-face look designed to attract females during the coming mating season.

---

A magpie's work is never done.

I look in the mirror after shaving and I go "Yeah, nice try mate, you're clearly twelve."

I always shave before getting on a plane, 'cause I get through security faster that way. But that means navigating an airport while tired and very much accustomed to people getting out of your way. I keep bumping into folks. :-/

I was actually teasing you because I have that same problem. I keep the mustache as a rule even if I shave the rest of my face--if the mustache leaves, I drop from looking like a late 20s guy to a high schooler.

As far as beards and airport security, I've never really connected them like that. Perhaps I should, considering I'm brown-skinned...but I suppose I've always had a little too much faith in the American justice system.

And I am vastly accustomed to people looking away when I make eye contact. My friends tell me I wear a permanent scowl when I'm not with them (as in, they see me in public and see my face before I realize they're there), and the scowl just doesn't work when there's no manly facial hair.

EDIT: I just remembered, my avatar to the left pretty much shows what my face looks like. Minus the whole looking like I'm an old computer terminal come to life.

The improbable beard looks better than beardless you. :p

I'd try it if I could grow a regular beard... as I can't, guess I'm sticking with this Handlebar and Goatee.

You people have far too much time (and facial hair) on your hands.

only after shaving

---

Isn't sanity just a one-trick pony anyway? All you get is one trick: rational thinking. But when you're good and crazy, oooh, oooh, the sky's the limit.

I CAN'T STAND IT ANY MORE!!

You people have NO IDEA what a real beard is!

This - THIS is a beard!

(Ashtu runs and hides, giggling maniacally.)

---

Thank you.

Concerning yourself with how you look is unmanly.

Except for facial hair. Facial hair is the key way to assert your manliness over others' manliness, while still communicating your level of friendliness and attitude as Z's link also refers to.

Too much time? There is not too much time spent on perfecting your beardcraft.

HOLY PROPAGATION OF GENDER NORMS, BATMAN!

---

BARK BARK BARK.

So, based on this scale, that makes me....
A trustworthy philosopher?
......

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahahahahahahoot

---

Thank you.

One day I'm going to have another Cheating Competition - this one will take the form of a Beard Contest, and at least 60% of the Island will have to cheat.

...and knowing you lot, at least half of the blokes entering will cheat too... I can see some wonderful inventions involving sellotape and cat's hair in our futures...

(PS Crikey, Ashtu!)

Um, Z - we are talking about beards, here.

---

Thank you.

Why, thank you! *grin*

---

Thank you.

Of course! Why would we get rid of stereotyping when it provides a perfect backdrop for hypocrisy, like that guy who said that concerning yourself with how you look is unmanly, but caring about your facial hair is manly?

EDIT:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wYi24D9lHqc

If you want a proper link, I posted one to that on page two.

---

Goat Collector

What do you think, Islandites?

How about you, Emily?

---

Thank you.