Good on you, CMJ. I award you my adoration and encouragement.

...Do they sell bacon-flavoured e-cigs?

Yup.

After bimbling along at one or two ciggies a day, losing my charger and having a ten-fag day, I finally did some research, read some books, armed myself psychologically and stopped smoking.

It's now been 48 hours since my last tobacco cigarette.

Here are the undocumented effects of giving up smoking tobacco.

Nobody told me that I would get stronger immediately. 24 hours after my last cigarette, I reckon I'm about 15-20% stronger in terms of simple muscular-stress activities like weight lifting. I haven't done any cardio in the last 48 hours, but I'll expect similar results - I guess it makes sense, what with the extra oxygen to the muscles.

Nobody told me that my vision would change, or that my mind would work faster. Again, it's the extra oxygen. Yes, folks, the difference between one or two fags a day and zero fags a day is "You think faster." And more creatively. And colours are brighter. In fact, all senses are heightened. You wander around like a buffoon or a stoner, examining things, noticing things you never really understood before, and going "Wow, this cat is, like, really furry, man."

Last night I went through an unfortunate period where I flip-flopped between "Oh man this extra sensory input is amazing and oh wow I have the extra mental processing power to grok it all properly" and "Oh man everything's too bright and too alive and too real, and my thoughts are going a mile a minute and I can't keep up with myself..."

...that was kinda nasty.

My advice to people wanting to give up... I'll write a proper post about this soon, maybe even something a bit longer than a proper post, but my biggest piece of advice is to first properly understand what you're fighting.

When people give up smoking, they think that they're fighting two big hairy bikers in a dark alley. One has "Nicotine" tattooed on his forehead (backwards, 'cause he did it himself in a mirror) and the other one has a similar tattoo that reads "Ritual." You've been friends with these guys for a while, but now you've had a falling-out, and things are about to get seriously nasty - and they're gonna get even nastier, because Nicotine brought along all his friends, with names like "Formaldehyde" and "Hydrogen cyanide" and "Benzine" and "Ammonia" and "Carbon monoxide." Nicotine is still The Big One, but you didn't realise that you would also have to beat up every single one of his mates, and it's not just the Chemical Gang either - Ritual bought along his mates too. Ritual's friends have names like "Brainwashing," and "Marketing," and "Reverse psychology," and not only are they big, they're also clever.

You only thought you'd have to fight Nicotine and Ritual, and so you get your arse handed to you, and then another big hairy bloke called "Shame" comes along and kicks you while you're down. You thought you'd have to beat up two really nasty guys, and it turned out that you had to beat up an entire army.

Using a patch, nicotine gum or an inhaler, the success rate at 20 months is between two and seven per cent, depending on which study you read.

The success rate using an e-cigarette is far higher - at least 20% - but clearly it's not just ritual and nicotine that you're fighting, otherwise the success rate would be 100%.

You have to face one or two enemies at a time. Don't try to take on the whole army at once. Sneak your way in, cut off their supplies, and topple them when they're ready to fall down anyway. I'll start writing up a decent guide for this, soon.

Well done Mr Joe! The worst is over.

I always imagined each ciggy not smoked was "This is a good thing" token deposited into my account. One puff on an oily rag and the account is wiped.

Helped me anyway.